Anyhoo, let's see... I'll start with an easy-peasy one, since I'm a panda:
These book things are no good!What do you mean read them?Hmm, these are actually pretty cool.I'd better run off to someplace secret!
― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Monday, 23 February 2004 23:21 (twenty years ago) link
― David Nolan (David N.), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 00:44 (twenty years ago) link
working-class woman takes charge of life. finds noble husband and opens shop. long, drawn-out, torturous descent into alcoholism, misery, gluttony, prostitution, insanity & death.
― j c (j c), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 02:04 (twenty years ago) link
― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 02:45 (twenty years ago) link
― Begs2Differ (Begs2Differ), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 02:46 (twenty years ago) link
Money-obsessed snob rapes and tortures hookers with hamsters and acid, writes reviews of Whitney Houston before revealing mental instability and unreliability of book's narrative.
― The Second Drummer Drowned (Atila the Honeybun), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 03:59 (twenty years ago) link
― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 04:15 (twenty years ago) link
(franny & zooey)
― j c (j c), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 13:28 (twenty years ago) link
Wartime love story set on Greek Island. Beautifully told as war rages in the background. Nicholas Cage with a cod Italian accent. No, fuck off.
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 13:50 (twenty years ago) link
I'm fat and think, no, I know I'm better than everyone else.
― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 13:58 (twenty years ago) link
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 14:22 (twenty years ago) link
Guy wakes up, eats a cake, thinks about stuff, becomes a writer.
― BabyBuddha (BabyBuddha), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:23 (twenty years ago) link
Incest destroys the South.
― Phastbuck, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 16:40 (twenty years ago) link
Black Chicago kid beats off to film image of white debutante, scores, coincidentally, limo job in debutante's home, accidentally kills her, gets hunted down. Then there's this trial.
― otto, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 17:27 (twenty years ago) link
― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:38 (twenty years ago) link
― Gregory Henry (Gregory Henry), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:39 (twenty years ago) link
― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:53 (twenty years ago) link
virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue. virtue.virtue. virture. virtue. virtue. virtue.
― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:54 (twenty years ago) link
― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 19:54 (twenty years ago) link
I'm stupid, I'm smart, I'm wicked smart, I'm wicked wicked smart, I'm stupid again. And I have a mouse called Algernon.
― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:00 (twenty years ago) link
Eh...
― SRH (Skrik), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 20:46 (twenty years ago) link
Sloth or entropy? Who can tell, really?
― otto, Tuesday, 24 February 2004 22:43 (twenty years ago) link
Otto - that is the most brilliant thing I've read today.
^_^
― BabyBuddha (BabyBuddha), Tuesday, 24 February 2004 22:49 (twenty years ago) link
My retarded brother's castration may have had something to do with my bastard daughter, another brother's suicide, or another brother's general assholishness. Or maybe not.
― DanielTheHead, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:15 (twenty years ago) link
Jurgis immigrates with family,marries,jobkidskids diewife cheatsJurgis beatsprisonwife diesson diesruns awayreturnsprisonturns socialist
― saline, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:25 (twenty years ago) link
Yuppies whine about how tough their lives are.
― August (August), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:38 (twenty years ago) link
War is hell, but we can't shoot soldiers who go crazy anymore, so let them write poems instead.
― August (August), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:40 (twenty years ago) link
― rotten shark meat, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 02:54 (twenty years ago) link
Posh dandy tries matchmaking, wins enemies; beatings loom. Thank goodness for the fish-eating servant!
― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 03:13 (twenty years ago) link
~The Hearing Trumpet, by Leonora Carrington
― Jorge, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 03:21 (twenty years ago) link
― ccccccc, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 04:07 (twenty years ago) link
I just realized this is an anagram of Tyrone Slothrop.
― o. nate (onate), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 04:10 (twenty years ago) link
Disgruntled children misunderstanding their senile parents. Oh yeah, talking turds.
― learned, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 04:48 (twenty years ago) link
Asshole, Come to africa where i can purge cash and make factual mistakes before i drown at some point, i haven't worked this out properly.
― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 11:09 (twenty years ago) link
Conspiracy theories are a load of bollocks. Or are they?
― SRH (Skrik), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 13:53 (twenty years ago) link
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
― SRH (Skrik), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 13:56 (twenty years ago) link
― Ike Stephenson (Ike Stephenson), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 15:17 (twenty years ago) link
Upwardly mobile whore inspires man to get job. Wife leaves, dies; brother dies; kid leaves with whore. Man breaks leg.
― BPG, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago) link
"Are you the detective Paul Auster?" No, but I'll pretend I am. Actually I write detective novels, and now I'm pretending to be a detective! Later I get to meet the real Auster, who isn't a detective at all but the author of this post.
― Paul Auster, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago) link
Little guys go to a lot of trouble to get rid of stolen jewelry.
― BPG, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 15:56 (twenty years ago) link
Three men infatuated with one beautiful woman. Guy she ends up with is too good for her.
― Vermont Girl (Vermont Girl), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 15:56 (twenty years ago) link
Boy meets girl, boy imprisons girl, girl withers away. Boy meets girl...
― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 15:59 (twenty years ago) link
Apocalypse Now but with Brahms instead of The Doors.
― BPG, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:00 (twenty years ago) link
"Is the grass greener on the other side? It must be. Oh, it isn't. Time to die."
― Chris Hill (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:01 (twenty years ago) link
"Being in World War II was so bad that now I hallucinate about aliens and time travel."
― BPG, Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:06 (twenty years ago) link
Rural tart gets mixed up with local bounder. Dad is constantly pissed. Too upbeat? OK, I'll add a dead baby and a murder. Stonehenge. Hanging.
― Mikey G (Mikey G), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:08 (twenty years ago) link
Ok - I'm cheating. That's every John Grisham novel.
― BabyBuddha (BabyBuddha), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:11 (twenty years ago) link
― SRH (Skrik), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:28 (twenty years ago) link
― Cupie (Cupie), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:58 (twenty years ago) link
― Cupie (Cupie), Wednesday, 25 February 2004 16:59 (twenty years ago) link
I'm going on a long road trip so I can ... what was I doing again?
― Hurting (Hurting), Sunday, 6 November 2005 23:12 (eighteen years ago) link
― miy wong, Monday, 28 November 2005 22:24 (eighteen years ago) link
-- The Canterbury Tales
― Mickey (modestmickey), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 02:48 (eighteen years ago) link
-- No Exit, Sartre
(I don't care if it's not a novel, it's one of my favorite works of literature)
― Mickey (modestmickey), Tuesday, 29 November 2005 02:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― ddasd, Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:35 (eighteen years ago) link
was swamp, teen pregnancy the norm, juntas, pestolence, endless rain, names irrelevant in a latin kind of way, society dissolves into what returns to swamp.
(I only included this review because the other review wasnt 25 words)
― johnson jackson chaffin, Saturday, 14 January 2006 22:35 (eighteen years ago) link
human phallus, french poop sex, priests = asses, naked, utterly batshit, still french, syphillitic delerium, lots of talk about "god's cunt" still french. dead. still french.
― johnson jackson chaffin, Saturday, 14 January 2006 22:48 (eighteen years ago) link
soldier blown up, can't communicate, remembers code, asks to die. too bad its before movies were invented:in the movie version they help him die.
― johnson jackson chaffin, Saturday, 14 January 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link
Charming but unbalanced spy/diplomat goes off the rails. Dies, preferably in ironic manner.
― chap who would dare to work for the man (chap), Sunday, 15 January 2006 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link
frog seeks stardom in Los Angeles, seduces bilingual pig, befriends studebaker-driving bear, rainbow-centric songs, suck-free cameos, no muppets end up turning tricks on Sunset Boulevard.
― johnson jackson chaffin, Monday, 16 January 2006 21:47 (eighteen years ago) link
― agbams ugochukwu, Friday, 10 February 2006 15:31 (eighteen years ago) link
― tom west (thomp), Friday, 10 February 2006 15:53 (eighteen years ago) link
Beloved by Morrison:Slavery sucked. My sons ran away and I'm haunted by my baby's ghost. HOLY SHIT SHE'S BACK! Wait, where are we? Hey, she killed her daughter!
The Great Gatsby by Fitzgerald:Friend changes his life for a girl. She's married to a rich racist. I'm in the middle and I don't care. Money will kill you.
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Twain:Slavery sucks. I'm too racist to like this guy. I'm having an adventure to escape my evil dad. Oh crap I've been caught.
Native Son by Wright:Racism still sucks. African-American kid in Chicago accidentally kills a white girl. That must mean all black people suck! Long speech in trial explains everything.
And now just for fun, two novellas by me. The first one is available at www.cyberheroez.inetgames.com and the second is in progress
Cyber Heroez:Teenage nerd based on author goes into video game world, uses powers to fight giant glove. Almost dies, and his brother cries. Magically has idea.
The Centaur:In the future, things are normal. Weird scientist mistakes fantasy for history and changes the world. Centaur finds him, tells him how much life sucks.
― UnknownWarrior33, Saturday, 4 March 2006 02:56 (eighteen years ago) link
― UnknownWarrior33, Saturday, 4 March 2006 02:59 (eighteen years ago) link
― UnknownWarrior33, Saturday, 4 March 2006 03:04 (eighteen years ago) link
One scientist brother, one horny brother. Women they can't love wither and die. Finally men are extinct, cloned women inherit world. Is that an apology?
― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Saturday, 4 March 2006 14:17 (eighteen years ago) link
War, hate, disease, famine, poverty, anger, rioting, rape, crime, theft, terrorism, racism, sexism, homophobia, drug addiction, fear and I got laid last night. Thouroghruly worthwhile.
― Rob Wright A.K.A. Ned the viking, Saturday, 18 March 2006 12:27 (eighteen years ago) link
Don't bother reading this, just pinch yourself and chop onions till you cry.
― Rob Wright A.K.A. Ned the viking, Saturday, 18 March 2006 12:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― Brita, Tuesday, 4 April 2006 07:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― frodo baggins, Tuesday, 25 April 2006 06:22 (eighteen years ago) link
― hispam, Friday, 28 April 2006 20:37 (eighteen years ago) link
Everything in this book is a total lie, but it's still true for the psychological reasons I say it is. Or maybe I'm just crazy.
― UnknownWarrior33 (unknownwarrior33), Sunday, 14 May 2006 23:01 (eighteen years ago) link
We fell in love with them and now the two of us want to escape. I'm glad I found her. Society is evil.
― UnknownWarrior33 (unknownwarrior33), Sunday, 14 May 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link
Consider Phlebas
Intergalactic Mind-fuck in which main character does a fair bit of lots of things
― David James Cruse (Day In Day out Day In Day Out), Monday, 26 June 2006 22:14 (seventeen years ago) link
Admiral sails ...Victorean charlatan composes ...70's reporter ...Publisher ...Future clone escapes ...postapocalyptic civilization sucks like all... tolitarian oppression... is institutionalized... exposes corporate malfeasance... music... pacific
― Camiel (Camiel), Wednesday, 28 June 2006 13:11 (seventeen years ago) link
Young, unattractive black girl wants to have blue eyes in order to look prettier. Prays to God every day. Gets nailed by her father instead.
― Al Harris (Spotter), Friday, 29 September 2006 11:24 (seventeen years ago) link
THOSE WHO DARE...TRIP THEIR BALLS OFF. THOSE WHO DON'T, LIVE WITH ONLY THE ONE REALITY OF CONSCIENCE.
― David James Cruse (Day In Day out Day In Day Out), Friday, 13 October 2006 04:49 (seventeen years ago) link
Gremlins(the movie)RTFM.
― lattegrappa, Sunday, 26 September 2010 09:15 (thirteen years ago) link