Yankees Suck 2008

"Say something honey... don't be shy... OMG - WHY WON'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!"
~ Matsui realizing the tragic limitations of origami

CRAZY.

Also, doesn't Matsui collect pr0n??

Shhhhhhhhhh -- the drawing doesn't know that.

uh, weird...though, funny that he outfoxed jeter.

The bride is a 25-year-old civilian and had been formerly working in a reputable position at a highly respected company.

my dream woman

she had me at "civilian"

ahahaha wtf

do you think he met her at niagara falls?

http://www.i91.ctc.edu/crimestoppers/20031005/pic01.jpg

NIAGARA FALLS! Slowly I turn...

http://www.taylor-time.com/gif/cuckoo.gifhttp://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/images/2006/08/11/WBVrqKNY.jpghttp://www.patriotsplanet.com/BB/images/smilies/Cuckoo.gif

So who's NOT rooting for a Tampa Bay 2nd place finish (behind Boston, duh)?

Newsday picked Toronto for second.

doesn't Matsui collect pr0n??

I believe he's Japanese, yes.

Meanwhile, here's the lowdown on sanskrit's seats for 2009:

Yankees’ Top Seats Grow Pricier
By RICHARD SANDOMIR
NY Times

If you’re a Yankees fan with lots of spare cash, parts of the new Yankee Stadium will be for you. Consider two offerings sent to season-ticket holders in an e-mail message Thursday.

First up are the Legends Suite seats, the best in the $1.3 billion ballpark, which is to open in 2009. There will be 1,800 Legends seats in the 25 sections closest to the field, radiating up the base lines from home plate. Those fans will sit in cushioned seats with teak arms and have access to three clubs, private bathrooms and waiter service.

The seats will start at $500 each and the tiptop ones — the $2,500, front-row seats — are sold out, said Lonn Trost, the Yankees’ chief operating officer. (A Yankees fan could have spent $500 to see 50 games from $10 box seats in 1987.)

The current stadium has a Legends section of about 160 seats, with a peak price of $1,000 a game. The new Legends section features a home plate area that is 20 feet closer to the plate than in the current stadium’s configuration.

The second offering, which promises a “luxury suite experience one seat at a time,” is the 74-seat Club Suite, which is four luxury boxes combined into one. The $700 price includes food and beverages (alcohol is extra), preferred parking and concierge service.

The e-mail message from Trost asked all season-ticket holders if they wanted to upgrade to the deluxe offerings, “for which we have already received an enormous amount of unsolicited requests.” It also began the process of relocating season-ticket holders to similar locations in the new ballpark.

The team has the equivalent of 39,121 full season-ticket holders.

But Trost cautioned in his e-mail message that “the seat location and quantity of games included in all current ticket license plans are subject to change when you relocate to the new Yankee Stadium.” He said by telephone that he was not referring to the slightly smaller capacity of the new ballpark, but the variety of miniticket plans being sold.

The other two premium plans are less than $500. The 1,200 main level outdoor suite seats — behind home plate in the nine sections behind the Legends area — start at $350. And in the 1,300 terrace level seats located in the sections behind the outdoor suite, you can experience a wee bit of luxury for $100, $115 and $135.

The 4,374 premium seats in the four suites essentially substitute for the usual complement of high-priced stadium club seats. Of the 47 luxury suites available at the new ballpark, 29 have been leased, for between $600,000 and $850,000, Trost said.

There will be 48,000 nonpremium seats in the new stadium. Trost said that 88 percent of those cost $100 or less, and 55 percent will cost $45 or less.

He added that the highest-priced box seats at the old stadium — which rose to $250 this season from $150 last year — would not cost significantly more in the new stadium and would not be priced nearly as high as the cheapest Legends seat. But they could be farther back to accommodate the Legends seats.

I believe he's Japanese, yes.

????

Morbs is so inscrutable.

Just don't take my thumb.

So who's NOT rooting for a Tampa Bay 2nd place finish (behind Boston, duh)?

uh... ME!!!

Perhaps 2nd behind the J's, tho!

and is Matsui's porn collection a matter of public record?

Its existance, yes; its contents, no.

steve shasta to thread

any AL East in the next 5 years with TOR & TBA finishing ahead of NYY & BOS would reaffirm my faith in MLB, God and the building of a better world.

From the looks of it, the only thing Toronto's going to finish is JP Riccardi's career as a front office exec.

BUT HEY THIS IS THE YANKEES SUCK THREAD

lol @ Giambino @ 1B

well that would at the very least reaffirm *MY* faith in MLB, God and the building of a better Jays!

haha there are a lot of things you could put in a yankees suck thread but matsui holding a press conference to show everyone a shitty drawing of his (clearly made-up) new wife is not one of them

honestly that thing looks like it was made in a team-building exercise where they all had draw a picture of their dream girl and on the back write five adjectives to describe her

eagerly awaiting press conference for jeter to show off the lanyard he made after bp

max, we just use a "suck" thread for all Yankee news/analysis/BS, as sanskrit is the only (?) NYY fan left on ILBB.

so what did Godzilla REALLY do on his day off?

and why didn't Piazza think of the sketched fantasy-bride move?

it was a SEGUE morbs i understand that u guys are all chumps about this.

you dont think piazza has a ton of sketches of metallica in his locker??

or Yngwie, sure.

You'll never get me back in old Jankee Stadium this year, but we must go to a Staten Island Yankees game this summer! Same obnoxious crowd filling only 40% of the seats.

does piazza even have a locker with anyone right now?

Local YMCA?

ha ha!

who was the catcher and who was the pitcher?

http://gawker.com/assets/images/gawker/2008/01/WABC_Sam_Champion_2006.jpg

"How do you say 'sneaky' in Japanese?" asked a playful Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter,

and is Matsui's porn collection a matter of public record?

And was it Julian Tavarez porn? Because Tavarez said he thought about becoming a porn star if the baseball thing didn't work out.

Julian Tavarez: Male Fluffer

playful Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter
playful Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter
playful Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter
playful Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter

ayo someone post when this shit starts. rain delay and i don't want to drink my lunch too early.

http://gothamist.com/2008/04/02/surprisingly_cl.php

pretty good game last night!!

So I flip to YES, just to see what's going on, and I'm just hoping Kay & Co. aren't totally punchable, and I tune in just before they go to commercial break after the bottom of the 8th, and not five seconds after I get there does Kay start in on his sub-Sterling "warming up is now the greatest reliever of all time" suckoff about Mariano that they usually save for An Important Game. Then coming back from commercial, he makes some half-ass attempt to draw parallels between Mariano's natty appearance coming into the park (and he did look snazzy in his Burberry chapeau) and his equally smashing couture as he enters the game.

I will take a 12 hour symposium co-headlined by Joe Morgan & Dusty Baker on why walks are bad over 5 minutes with that delusional thesaurus-humping shill.

att NY POST: The last OPENING Day ain't much history

i love it on ILB when people complain about McCarver or Joe Morgan in the post-season. hearing them is manna to my ears after a season of douchey Kay.

"delusional thesaurus-humping shill"

-wow. spectacular.

but is Kay douchey enuf to lol @Pedro injury? I wundah...

john sterling >>>>>>>>>>> michael kay. turn off the yes audio and turn on WCBS

suzyn waldeman sucks tho

I mean, I hate the guy more than a lot of people, but wtf at AP story piling on A-Rod:

When the Yankees needed Alex Rodriguez at his best, he had one of his worst games.
(...)
Rodriguez flopped in crucial spots all night. He grounded into two double plays -- one with the bases loaded -- and whiffed for the final out.

"Tonight, you can put it on me," Rodriguez said. "It was a lousy night. We pretty much screwed it up every way you can screw it up. There's absolutely no excuse."
(...)
Johnny Damon hit two solo homers for the Yankees, but Rodriguez's failures thwarted one potential rally after another.

"He's the best player in the league. Unfortunately, he had a bad night," Damon said.

Your veteran starter gives up 6 earned and 10 hits in 4 2/3 and it's A-Rod's fault you lost?

Well, duh -- Pettitte's a True Yankee, a gritty gamer, the ace of numerous World Championship teams. A-Rod's just a gun-for-hire mercenary that's as clutch as a Fendi knock-off.

"No one is more frustrated than me," said Rodriguez, adding that he'll show up early Wednesday for extra hitting work with batting coach Kevin Long.

He's one of the best players ever and this makes it sound like he's being given detention for being a goof at school.

Just as the first half of the season doesn't count, neither do the first 5 innings of a game.

Your friends,
Sportswriters

http://gothamist.com/2008/08/27/did_police_eject_a_man_from_yankee.php

unclutch a-rod doubles in a run when he should have homered, doubles again with the bases empty. nice work.

hey max, still LOL'ing at Bay in place of Ramirez?

its hard to laugh through tears doc

TRACK!!!! WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIAMBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Tie game in the seventh inning.)

Jon Lester, how cute.

TRACK!!!! MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ON THE ASS OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIAMBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:|

JASON GIAMBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE MIGHT'VE KEPT THE SEASON ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SINGLE-HANDEDLY!!!!!!!!!!!

He chewed on his glove, too! That's almost as important as pitching!

jason giambi prolongs my misery for another month

this is fuckt. i was just rooting for the fucking yankees! ugh!

this was the best possible outcome for the series. boston need to lose a little here too, as we all know.

I was @ today's game / debacle. I have sunburn on the side of my neck. I was stuck behind 3 pro-Sox chix that spent more time going for concessions than watching the damn game. (Women / Sox fans, right?) I wish I had binoculars to see John Sterling's hissy fit of joy after the Giambi single. (Loosen the Pap strings, Tito.)

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080902/COL22/809020364/&imw=Y

And that's where the Pudge conundrum became apparent: He wanted to play every game, but he did not always want to make every single play. He won a Gold Glove in 2007 more because of his name than his defense. He had gained a reputation within the organization for failing to call for breaking balls with runners on base, because he didn't want to block pitches in the dirt. He also had a tendency to get frustrated at the plate, and that carried over to his defense.

The Tigers' trade of Rodriguez for Kyle Farnsworth has not worked out. But they were right about Pudge. Just ask the Yankees. Veteran pitchers Andy Pettitte and Mike Mussina prefer throwing to backup Jose Molina. Since the trade, Rodriguez has caught 17 games for the Yankees; Molina has caught 13.

Molina actually outhitting Pudge (yeah, I know) probably has something to do w/ that game split, too.

You know what?

Chicken butt?

(Just talking about how Pudge has fallen so far he's actually getting outhit by one of the worst hitters in the majors.)

Gotcha.

http://weblogs.newsday.com/sports/watchdog/blog/90_06_giambi-jason.jpg

good work.

ok this dude who caught home run balls on consecutive nights is hilarious

would kick it with this yankees fan

LOL that Easton looks like it could be a 30"/23 oz.

It also looks.. aluminum?

Steinbrenner to be ritually sacrificed on mound after Sunday's game

George skipping finale! must be all Bernied out.

There's a rich symbolism in Molina's Last Home Run At Yankee Stadium moment.

Also, lolbaseballplayers.grammar

No Clemens no credibility

ESPN orgasms over the gang-rapists in the bleachers

Goldman:

As for the battered old Stadium itself, no sentimentality here, or only a little. It had seen much history, but all things must pass and its day had come. It was cramped, dark, and occasionally dangerous. It was built (and remodeled) with very little thought given to crowd control or accommodating the masses it regularly attracted. In this regard, it was inadequate in nearly every aspect of its design. It's time to have a building that doesn't treat its customers like cattle being shunted up and down ramps to the abattoir.

http://www.yesnetwork.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080520&content_id=1443605&oid=36019&vkey=6

gotta say i would have a lot more nostalgia for this stadium if they werent basically building a replica next door

Yankee Stadium was an important stage in my discovery of America. I came here as an immigrant in 1938. In the summer of 1939, I started working in a shaving brush factory. Some of my co-workers turned out to be of Italian origin, and they took me to a baseball game at Yankee Stadium. A seat in the bleachers in those days cost 55 cents. Home plate was far away, and it was not possible to see much of the infield play. But Joe DiMaggio was in center field right in front of us. His graceful, seemingly effortless gliding toward fly balls and the tremendous drives he hit generally in our direction in the far end of the bleachers made the visit exciting. As the years went by, I graduated from the bleachers to the grandstand at $1.10, to the reserved seats — about where the owner’s box is now — at $1.65.

In the early days, the idea that the day might come when I would sit in the owner’s box next to Joe DiMaggio would have seemed beyond even America’s capacity to fulfill dreams. Yet that is what happened, starting in the 1970s, proving America’s ability to make the impossible come true.

After George Steinbrenner became owner, my visits took place under his aegis. I developed vast affection for his capacity for friendship, which matched his fierce pride in his team. We often sat next to each other. During a playoff series game with the Red Sox, Mike Mussina was cruising along with a no-hitter and an eight-run lead when Boston got a hit in a late inning. I pointed out to George that this might be a good thing because the Yankees could now take Mussina out and rest him for a later start in the series. But, for George, there was no way a Red Sox hit could ever be considered a good thing. George was in the process of explaining this to me in his usual emphatic way, when the Red Sox underlined his point by scoring a bushel of runs. Luckily, the rally ended, the Yankees won the game and harmony was restored.

I will always have a warm spot in my heart for Yankee Stadium. This is where I grew to love this quintessentially American game, with its sudden bursts of drama, punctuated by periods of calm, which permit reflection on the subtle positioning of players, the minute adjustments that mark the difference between excellence and mediocrity, before a new drama subsumes all reflection in the emotion of the moment. I will miss the Stadium and its memories, but I am confident that the Yankees will add many experiences in their new surroundings which I shall cherish.

Henry A. Kissinger, the former secretary of state, is chairman of Kissinger Associates, an international consulting firm.

wtg moose

^_^

yes, now please retire so you can have an O's cap on your HOF plaque. (and if the BBRAA doesn't vote you in, fuck them)

Joe Sheehan recommended they re-sign Pvano!

So, were I in charge, this would be your 2009 New York Yankees:

C: Posada, Molina
1B: Teixeira
2B: Cano, Betemit
SS: Jeter
3B: Rodriguez
LF: Damon
CF: Cabrera, Endy Chavez
RF: Abreu, Nady
DH: Matsui
SP: Wang, Chamberlain, Mussina, Hughes, Kennedy, Pavano
RP: Rivera, Ramirez, Veras, Coke, Aceves, Giese

There has to be a better backup catcher than Molina out there.

Player x over molina, gardener over betemit on bench, Add player X over Kennedy (possibly shell shocked). I like Endy Chavez in CF tho.

Pavano?!?!?

Sorry to actually make an October post on this thread, and thus spoil the elegance of it all, but this has to be seen by you, if it hasn't already:

There is one very important point here. The most important thing to remember is this: If you didn't get it from me or my brother, it doesn't mean shit. I don't care about some piss-ant employee. If you don't get it from me or Hal, it's meaningless. I have a lot of things here and Hal is in New York, which is good.

-- Hank Steinbrenner, Oct. 11, 2008

Collins said Chamberlain was taken to the Cornhusker Place Detox in Lincoln, which she said is the normal protocol.

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/095J6fP4N62ld/610x.jpg

http://www.nypost.com/seven/11032008/sports/yankees/jeter_gets_no_glove_from_survey_136649.htm

"Maybe it was a computer glitch," Jeter told The Post. "Every (shortstop) doesn't stay in the same spot, everyone doesn't have the same pitching. Everyone doesn't have the same hitters running, it's impossible to do that."