Official I Love Cricket Joe the Plumber Fanfic/FAQ Thread

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max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 15:27 (6 years ago) Permalink

“You’re gonna leave it that way? You can’t just walk out and not finish the job young man. Just because I can’t pay you right now, doesn’t mean you’re not gonna be paid.” Mrs. Treves was shocked the two young men from the reputable 5 star company wouldn’t complete the job when they discovered she didn’t even have the money for a down payment.

Joe the Plumber a 4 year employee with the company and 26 years old apologized.

“No, no there has to be another way” the 42 year old destitute woman pleaded. “My husband just got back to work. He’s working 12 hour shifts after being off over a year. I took a day off work which I can’t even afford to do and my house is a complete mess. The only rooms that aren’t messed up other then my daughters is my room. Everything else is a mess.

Joe the Plumber told his co-worker to hold up in the van. He’d be out soon. “Mam let me see the upstairs and the damage to it. Maybe there is something I can do.”

Leading the young man upstairs, he looked at her big round ass in jeans sway left to right. Full figured, blond, and wonderful curves with suitably sized tits, he maintained his professional composure while developing a craving for her ass after each step.

“That’s just my room. This is my daughters, but the other rooms are destroyed.” He looked at each and agreed with her.

“You have a nice room mam. It’s good that it wasn’t destroyed and ya know mam” sitting down on the edge of her bed “I’m gonna work something out for ya. Ya said your takin the day off?”

She said yes. “Umm, will ya be here at 9:30?” She said yes she wasn’t going anywhere. "Well mam, I’m gonna do ya a big, big favor. I am, but I’m not sure you’re gonna like the favor provides ya with a satisfactory favor.”

“What are you getting at young man?” She was open to ideas but confused.

“I’ll be back so I can assess everything and explain what I’m willing to do. You said you’d be here right mam?”

“Yes Joe the Plumber I’ll be here. I’ll wait for you. Thank you, thank you for willing to help me out.”

“Believe me, it will cost ya mam, but it won’t be as bad as ya think. In fact mam, you’ll be so pleased afterwards, you will want me to come again and help ya out, I think.”

“Huh, pardon me? I’m not sure what you mean Joe the Plumber?”

“Oh I’ll explain when I get back. See you soon.”

She was happy and waited for him to come back. 9:30 rolled around, Joe the Plumber was back, but he drove up in his own car, a 2000 Cadillac Seville. Wearing a nice pair of Dockers and a Polo shirt, he looked too groomed for someone who was going to do some plumbing work.

“Joe the Plumber why are you dressed like that, aren’t you working?” He said he will be. “Why are you wearing that cologne? I don’t get it?”

“Mam, I understand your predicament. I am willing to help you out 110 %. I have some questions for you. First off may I have a coffee?” She said yes, went to her kitchen and brewed some.

Following her in, he initiated the conversation. "Mrs. Treves, have you ever heard the term MILF mam?”

“Pardon me what was that again” she asked.

“The word is MILF mam. Each and every time I look at you, I think to myself you’re a one top notch MILF. You have kids, you are a very attractive woman, and topping all that off, personally I think you’re one fine desirable woman.”

She took a guarded step backwards. “What, what are you? Who are you? If you think you’re going to get away with something like I think you mean young man, you are absolutely crazy.”

“I’d say, from my experience you are one of the finest specimens I’ve seen in the short period of time I’ve worked as a service consultant with this company.”

“But Joe the Plumber, I’m confused. Tell me what this word MILF means. I’m a MILF you say? What is a MILF Joe the Plumber?”

“Okay, like I said mam you are a very, very attractive woman.”

“Stop right there young man. I already don’t like where this is going. I don’t know what a MILF is, but from the sound of how you started, I don’t want any part of whatever it is you are conjuring up. No young man, I do not.”

“Leslie, which is her first name, a MILF is a Mother I’d Like to Fuck. Yes mam, you are one sexy woman and an even more incredible MILF. I’d love to have sex with you, fuck your brains out and allow you to suck on my big black cock. That’s why I cleaned up, changed, and put on the cologne so that I would look more presentable for you.”

“I’m what to you? Joe the Plumber, Joe the Plumber, Joe the Plumber I’m ashamed that a nice young man would say that to a woman.”

“Leslie, Leslie, ohhh Leslie I’m surprised a woman such as yourself doesn’t consider herself a sexy woman. Do you have a full length mirror nearby?” She escorted him to one. “Look at yourself Leslie. Look at your hair. Isn’t it, well how should I put it, ravenous? It’s thick, stylish, and so pretty. I love blond hair Leslie. I’m sure you do to or ya wouldn’t color it.”

Standing behind her as she stood in front of her mirror in the hallway he went onto say “Look at your upper body Leslie, your breasts, bosoms, or however you refer to them, they are beautiful creatures. That’s how I like referring to them. Yes your boobs Leslie are simply incredibly sexy creatures. Very desirable creatures for a woman of your age let me add and you are one fine, fine mature woman I too.”

She was being led on that she was as sexy as sexy gets and falling for his compliments left and right. She was being lead to believe she was as sexy as a 21 year old college student. But that is exactly what Joe the Plumber liked about the 42 year old Leslie Treves.

Eventually she began to smile in the mirror and as soon as he saw one, he rose his hand up, graced the left side of her body, and just barely skimming along her left boob. She was not comfortable with his unsolicited advance. Her smile quickly turned to a scour.

Although she loved being complimented for her physical attributes, she didn’t want his advances. Or so she thought. Picking up on her disapproval, immediately he apologized profusely.

He said he was sorry and assumed the indications he was getting from her said she was attracted to him but he was wrong. He was completely wrong and began to leave. He said he would never see him again and began to open the front door.

“Wait Joe the Plumber” she called out. “Just wait a second.” Pausing and looking a few seconds at herself in the mirror and then turning around to look at Joe the Plumber and not smiling she appreciated the compliments.

“Nobody has ever spoken to me the way you’ve just spoken to me. Umm, those were very, umm” but she stopped for a moment and walked up to him and took his hand. “Come back in Joe the Plumber. Please stay and throw more compliments at me. The way you put them is fascinating and, well you’ve made me feel special, did you know that?”

Smiling and looking at her he replied “I hoped I would Leslie. Because what I said, I meant. Leslie, you are sexy. You know what they say? ‘Sexy is as sexy does’ or something like that I think.”

“Damn Joe the Plumber” turning away from her mirror “what is it you want? What can I do as your little special MILF?” Putting her hands against his chest, she offered her hands up for beginners. Then she pulled his shirt out of his Dockers and slid her hands underneath rubbing his chest slowly up and down. He let her do as she pleased for the time being.

“You sure do have a nice chest Joe the Plumber. Never in a million years would I think I would be fooling around on my husband and I’m not sure how far I’ll go for that matter.”

“Leslie does it matter to you how far ya go when you’re with a good lookin black man like me who finds you so hott and so damn sexy, and he’d do it all for ya and expect it all in return?”

That reply confused her but essentially what he was getting at was he’d fuck her in any place, any position, and every way possible as long as she was a willing participant.

“Damn it you sexy man I want to have sex with you. I wanna see that big bad cock of yours. Show me your big black cock honey, please?”

Thinking to himself “That’s the spirit.” He looked at her and asked “Now where would you prefer to let me get sucked off at and fuck you as well Leslie?”

Not saying a word, she took his hand, went upstairs and instead of doing him in her room, she went into her daughters room, sat down and undid his Dockers. They dropped to the floor and she pulled out his limp but long black cock and fondled it while looking up at Joe the Plumber.

She was amazed at the size seeing as though it was not even hard. She smiled as if grateful he let her have it. Her eyes said “Thank you” and eventually so did she.

She stopped while holding his length in the palm of her hand. Sitting on the edge of her daughter’s bed, she said to Joe the Plumber “I’ve never had sex with a black man before. Are you as exciting as I’ve been lead to believe?”

He roared out in laughter. “Leslie, I don’t know the answer to that. All I know is when I find someone I like, like you, and I’m attracted to that person, like you, I know I’m gonna put all of me into having the best sex I can with that person. Leslie, I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again you’re hott and sexy and I wanna do what’s best for both of us so that you can get the best deal on fixing up your house the right way. How’s that sound to you?”

“Wow Joe the Plumber, what do you want me to do for you? How and what can I do so I get the best service once I give you what you desire? God I love this cock of yours Joe the Plumber. It’s, well it is so exciting.”

“Go ahead try it on for size any way you’d like baby.”

She slipped her lips over it. She sucked it deeper in her mouth. She sucked it harder and harder and it grew bigger and thicker. Not growing much longer then it was, it did get a lot thicker then she ever imagined it would. Erect and solid as if concrete post, she patted the mattress next to her and he lay down beside her.

Pulling off his underwear and removing her clothes except for her large bra and underwear, he took off his shirt. Inching her way underneath his cock, she sucked on his balls. Licking them or swallowing them, she was careful not to hurt him.

She loved his cock and appreciated its beauty more and more. He began to love the way she tenderly sucked his sack and cock or licked it with her tongue. She was gifted. Never did she do this with a white mans cock. Never did she even do it with her own loving husband. He was just an average white man. Loveable but not gifted.

No way was her husband gifted like Joe the Plumber was gifted. One thing Joe the Plumber appreciated more then her husband ever did was her full figured sumptuous body. It was his flaw. He wholeheartedly craved the plump woman’s body. Leslie was perfect in that respect.

Lying on the bed, he grabbed her panties even though she was wearing hers still. He tugged at them. She took them off. She gave them to him. Looking at her, she still wore her bra. Her tits were huge. Her cleavage was more then abundant.

Holding her underwear in his hands they were larger then life. But Joe the Plumber adored them. They turned him on. Putting them up to his face, he sniffed them heavily. He was in heaven. He loved the scent. He pulled them away from his face. He was smiling.

“Damn Leslie your underwear drive me absolutely wild. I could sniff these for days on end. I wish I had an endless supply of these” but stopped short of saying anything else.

Giggling down below she looked up towards his face. Still holding his hard long massive cock in her hands, she was shocked he felt that way about underwear of any kind. They were just underwear. “Oh Joe the Plumber, come on they are only underwear dear.”

“Oh they’re more then just underwear Leslie, these are your underwear. The holdings of orgasmic juices you hold with in you. No, sorry baby doll, these undies of yours turn me on and could do so any time I lifted them up to my face and smelled them. Yes baby, you turn me on big time.”

Giggling more, she went down on him again and sucked him off hard because of his undying compliments. She loved how he made her feel. He was so sweet to have complimented her the way he did. She wanted to please him anyway she could, regardless if he was going to fix her house up.

Finally she crawled over him and dangled her large tits down over his face as they whisked themselves left to right. He loved her prowess. He loved her willingness.

“I want to fuck you Leslie. Do you want me to fuck you too? How about trying something special? How about you get on your knees and I go inside that special sexy big round ass of yours? Now how’s that sound to you?”

Too excited to say anything but yes, she said it was a great idea. Leslie never had anal sex in her life with anyone. She knew the position and assumed it. He got behind her and mounted his thick cock up against her. Going slowly, she bellowed out in pain, at first. Going in a little deeper, she screamed out even more. He pulled out and suggested she and him apply some lubrication that would ease the discomfort. She had him put baby oil inside her and on his cock.

He poured and pushed it up inside her white round butt. The oil spilled over on to her daughter’s comforter. Leslie didn’t seem to mind. She was enjoying herself way too much.

Leslie heard a ‘whirring’ sound, but paid no mind to it. Joe the Plumber heard it soon enough. A time delayed web cam started itself up as it moved about like a motion sensor. In other words, if there was motion in the room, it would move to that location and stay fixated on it until further action was taken.

It video taped Joe the Plumber fucking Leslie. The daughter would see what happened later that afternoon or evening.

Meanwhile Joe the Plumber continued to fuck Leslie up her ass. She loved every second of his cock inside her. She moaned and screamed in pleasure for more of it inside her ass. Her tits bounced back and forth like someone hanging on a rope and swinging.

“How’s about we do it the usual way Leslie? How’s about you let me lie down and you sit on me and hump me like a gorilla? I sure would love ta feel you and see you do me that way. Mmmmm I can just picture us fucking one another like we’ve never fucked before. God that sounds sexy doesn’t it?”

“Ohhh Joe the Plumber you are too much. You make me feel so horny, so turned on. Ohh Joe the Plumber I do want that. Thank you, thank you Joe the Plumber” and she kneeled over him and slipped her fat hairy pussy over his big thick black cock and the two agreeably smiled as they began fucking each other.

Jolting off the bed, she lifted up and down rapidly becoming wetter and wetter and hornier by the minute. Joe the Plumber could cum at her command. It wasn’t a big deal to him in that respect other then he did see her as a one sexy big ass woman with tits to cry out for.

A perfectly shaped large fat ass which covered just about his whole mid-section while her cunt enveloped his cock she was swallowed up in the erotic nature of it all.

Finally he switched positions and she lie on her back. He pushed his cock inside her and humped his special customer heavenly. She moaned, screamed, screeched, and groaned out loud and in pleasure for more and more, and even more of him.

She pushed and pushed back to the point of a screeching climatic orgasm and not once but twice orgasming for him; easily she surprised him and made him cum a little prematurely himself.

To her it was quite okay that he did, because Joe the Plumber was coming back to do other ‘repairs’ in her house or she would go to his place to help him ‘sew’ up things which needed mending too. Either way that day proved profitable for both.

What happened with regards to that web cam, she got through it. The house over a period of two and a half weeks was completely fixed up and each morning prior to beginning his work, Joe the Plumber and Leslie had sex with one another making life great for a short period of time.

Eventually their little ongoing relationship moved over to his house so she could do some ‘sewing’ for him and ‘mend’ things where needed.

Learning and experiencing sex and being labeled a MILF after all wasn’t so bad she found out.

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 15:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

joe the plumber (ice crӕm), Thursday, 16 October 2008 16:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Is Joe the Plumber a Muslim?

A: No, Joe the Plumber is a lapsed Catholic.

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 16:13 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: How much do Joe the Plumber's services cost?

A: They cost $250,000

joe the plumber (ice crӕm), Thursday, 16 October 2008 16:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 16 October 2008 16:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Is this the site for FAQs about Joe Sixpack?

A: No, this site deals only with Joe the Plumber.

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:03 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Hairstyles aside, does Joe The Plumber enjoy the musical stylings of Phil Collins?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Does Phil Collins have any inside info about Joe the Plumber?

Yes, In the Air Tonight is about Joe the Plumber.

joe the plumber (ice crӕm), Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

whoops do over

Q: Hairstyles aside, does Joe The Plumber enjoy the musical stylings of Phil Collins?

A: Joe the Plumber has a heart and two ears, doesn't he?

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

fyi, in the air tonight is a fanfic about Joe the Plumber

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

hay max i webmaild u fyi

joe the plumber (ice crӕm), Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

EXCLUSIVE original draft of in the air tonight, obtained by i love cricket:

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Joe the Plumber
Ive been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh Joe the Plumber
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Joe the Plumber, oh Joe the Plumber

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
Ive seen your face before my friend
But I dont know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where youve been
Its all been a pack of lies

And I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Joe the Plumber
Ive been waiting for this moment for all my life, oh Joe the Plumber
I can feel it in the air tonight, oh Joe the Plumber, oh Joe the Plumber
And Ive been waiting for this moment all my life, oh Joe the Plumber, oh Joe the Plumber

Well I remember, I remember dont worry
How could I ever forget, its the first time, the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up, no you dont fool me
The hurt doesnt show; but the pain still grows
Its no stranger to you or me

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

ya duder i got it but i cant reply since u didnt include ur email address

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

unless u are "ro✧✧✧@il✧✧✧.c✧✧"

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

o ha im retarded

you at scoopsnoodle dot com

joe the plumber (ice crӕm), Thursday, 16 October 2008 17:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

LJ OA UG IG SE RR (libcrypt), Thursday, 16 October 2008 18:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

i propose changing I Love Cricket's name to I Love Joe The Plumber

Mr. Que, Thursday, 16 October 2008 18:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Propsal: denied.

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 19:35 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Does Joe the Plumber have any pets?

A: Yes, he has a dog

♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Thursday, 16 October 2008 20:38 (6 years ago) Permalink

♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Thursday, 16 October 2008 20:40 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: What's his dogs name?

A: Labrador the Retriever

joe the plumber (ice crӕm), Thursday, 16 October 2008 20:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Is Joe the Plumber related to Michael Chiklis of hit TV show "The Shield"?

A: No, he is not

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 20:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

Ginny laid her hand on Joe the Plumber's chest and panted. "That was truly one of your better efforts."
"Of course it was, Weasley. I can't have you telling all your Gryffindor pals that I suck in bed, now can I?" Joe the Plumber leaned over and nipped at a still-erect pink nipple.
Ginny gave a little moan and ran her fingers through Joe the Plumber's silver hair. "You're worried about what I might say about you?"
Joe the Plumber made a face at her. "Of course not...I'm too happy right now to worry about anything."
"Oh Joe the Plumber...I didn't know you enjoyed yourself THAT much..."
"Well..." Joe the Plumber chuckled. "I did enjoy myself, but there are a few other things that I'm looking forward to..."
Ginny sat up, eyes gleaming expectantly. "Oooh, do tell me!"
"So sorry, my little red rose, but I'm afraid not. You may be one hell of a good lay, but you're still in Gryffindor."
Ginny scowled. "What does that have to do with anything?" Her features softened into a sassy little smile. "Well then, maybe I can persuade you..."
There was a slight hitch in Joe the Plumber's breath as she lightly bit the base of his neck. "It's not going to work, you know." But he did nothing to stop Ginny as she licked her way down his torso, and stopped thinking altogether as she continued lavishing her considerable skills upon his willing flesh.
******
Hermione sighed and closed another book. She wasn't finding anything that sounded remotely like the curse cast on Seamus, and she didn't know what to tell Harry.
She suddenly felt a fluttering kiss on the back of her neck and smiled. "Ron..." she breathed.
Ron sat down next to her with a slightly pouty look on his face. "How'd you know it was me?"
"As if anyone else would start kissing my neck in the library!" Hermione grinned.
"Well...no one else had better try, anyway!" The redhead attempted to look ominous and Hermione giggled.
"So why were you looking for me?" Hermione asked. "I've been researching Harry and Seamus' problem -- Harry told you, right?"
Ron nodded. "He did tell me, but actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else."
"Oh?" Hermione replied. "What is it?"
Ron reached forward and took one of her hands in his own. His blue eyes were looking intently into her brown ones. "Hermione...you know that I...I love you..."
Hermione reached out with her other hand and stroked his freckled cheek. "Of course I do! And I love you as well."
Ron gulped. "Well, it's just that...I thought..." He paused, but his gaze never wavered, searching deeply into her. "I want to marry you."
Hermione stared at him. She hadn't known what to expect, but this definitely wasn't it.
"Ron - we're not even done with school yet!"
"I know, but it's our last year!" He continued excitedly: "We can plan to have the wedding over the summer after graduation. I thought maybe we could do it here, but I know girls tend to have specific ideas about wedding plans, so I wouldn't want to..." He stopped babbling for a moment. "So, what do you think?"
Hermione was speechless. She honestly couldn't recall this ever happening before, and didn't really know how to deal with it.
Panic crept into Ron's expression "Herm? You.. don't want to marry me?"
"Oh Ron!" Hermione finally found her voice. "It's just... Well, I'm just really surprised. I hadn't thought about getting married right out of school."
"Well, then maybe you should think about it. You don't need to say yes right away." Ron smiled.
Hermione smiled weakly. "Okay...I'll think about it."
*****
"WHAT?" Lavender shrieked. "How could you not have said yes!?!?"
"Keep your voice down!" Hermione hissed at her. The four girls were gathered in one corner of the Gryffindor common room. "I didn't say yes because...I'm just not sure! This is a huge decision!"
"You DO love Ron, don't you?" Parvati asked.
"Of course she does," drawled Ginny. "Who could possibly resist the Weasley charm?"
She looked pointedly to the other side of the room where Ron was sitting with Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean. She couldn't quite tell what they were talking about, but considering the rude gestures her brother was making and the way the others were laughing, it was quite likely he was repeating one of Fred and George's obnoxious stories.
Hermione glanced over at Ron and smiled wistfully. He was so cute and so sweet..."Yes, I do love him. I just never considered getting married so soon. I know that I don't want to just settle down and have kids... I mean, I love your mum and your whole family, Ginny, but I can't see BEING her..."
"That's allright," Ginny replied. "I certainly can't see turning into my Mum. I truly don't know how she managed the seven of us. I think I would've killed one of the twins. I'm only their little sister and I certainly wanted to quite often."
Parvati laughed. "I think that anyone who's ever known Fred and George Weasley has wanted to throttle them at some point or another. I can't even begin the list the number of times I've wanted to toss Fred in the lake, but then, I think the three of you have heard about most of them. But anyway, Herm, what are you going to do about Ron?"
"Well, I told Ron I needed time to think," Hermione sighed. "And I do. I can see us being married, but I don't know that right after graduation is what I want. I'll just have to wait it out for the time being, to make sure I do the right thing. Besides, I'm more worried about Harry and Seamus right now..."
They all looked over at the boys. Harry had Ron on one side and Neville on the other, while Seamus sat across from them with Dean next to him. They were all laughing and joking, but the naked longing on two of the faces was obvious. Somehow, something needed to be done -- and fast.
*****
The next morning, Hermione, Lavender and Parvati were just beginning to enjoy their pumpkin pancakes when Ginny arrived -- with purple-streaked hair. The other girls stared.
"Ginny?" Lavender ventured. "Did you have an accident in Potions or something?"
"What? You mean my hair?" Ginny replied as she helped herself to some pancakes. "No -- I just cast a spell. I wanted my hair to match my lingerie for tonight."
Parvati groaned. "That's really more than I wanted to know...thank goodness you didn't match the carpet to the draperies." Parvati suddenly realized that this *was* Ginny she was talking about. "Oh god, you didn't, did you?"
Ginny just smirked at her.
Lavender looked confused. "Why are you talking about home furnishings? I don't get it..."
Hermione hastily cleared her throat and changed the subject. "So are you seeing the Slytherin King again then, Ginny?"
"That I am..." Ginny began, when the flutter of the owls delivering the post interrupted any further conversation for a few minutes.
They all stopped to watch the spectacle that was post delivery. No matter how many times it happened, there was something simply amazing about the dozens of owls swooping into the Great Hall with packages and letters.
Parvarti got a letter and package from Fred, which she was looking at with apprehension. "You know it's something from the joke shop...I'm too afraid to open it, maybe I can get one of the guys to do it."
They went back to eating when suddenly Harry interrupted them. "Hermione! I need to talk to you!"
"Why am I getting a feeling of déjà vu?" Hermione grumbled good-naturedly. "See you later, girls."
She followed Harry out into the hallway. "Okay, what's going on?"
Harry thrust a sheet of parchment at her. "Look at what one of the school owls delivered to me this morning!"
Hermione looked down and read:
Be at the top of the North Tower at midnight if you want to end the curse on your boyfriend.
Come ALONE.

max, Thursday, 16 October 2008 20:57 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Is Joe the Plumber "over"?
A: Basically, yes.

max, Friday, 17 October 2008 16:05 (6 years ago) Permalink

I lived in Toledo for 20 years and it's a shithole. I blame guys like Joe the Plumber for this state of affairs.

LJ OA UG IG SE RR (libcrypt), Friday, 17 October 2008 16:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

Will you write a fanfic about it?

max, Friday, 17 October 2008 16:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

I'm contributing to the FAQ part.

LJ OA UG IG SE RR (libcrypt), Friday, 17 October 2008 16:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

Is Toledo a shithole?

Yes.

Is Joe the Plumber to blame?

Yes.

LJ OA UG IG SE RR (libcrypt), Friday, 17 October 2008 16:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

☑ (Pleasant Plains), Friday, 17 October 2008 22:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Which one of these men is Joe the Plumber?:

A: Trick question!!!! None of them! This is the real Joe the Plumber:

♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Saturday, 18 October 2008 01:17 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Who is Phil the Bricklayer?

A: Nobody cares.

♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Saturday, 18 October 2008 19:28 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Where is Joe the Plumber?

A: Wherever there is a socialist, Joe the Plumber is there. Wherever wealth is being redistributed, Joe the Plumber is there. Whenever Israel is in trouble, Joe the Plumber is there.

max, Thursday, 30 October 2008 20:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

"Did somebody call for a plumber?"
"Oh gosh, Joe" exclaimed a startled Sarah. "I didn't hear you there. I was so busy reading the press and the media. You know, all of them."
"Permission to come aboard the Straight Talk Express?"
"Granted!" she cried, nasally.
The unlicensed Plumber, his plunger erect, boarded the bus and slid into a seat next to the unindicted Governor.
"I don't know about you, but my polls sure could use a bump," he whispered into her ear.
"For sure," purred the Governor, sliding off her $800 spectacles. "Whaddayasay this time, we play 'Obama and Ayers'?"
"That's not working so great anymore. How about 'Obama and Khalidi'?"
"Ooh, go on," said the Governor, undoing her Valentino blouse, $2,000 button by $2,000 button.

As the Plumber explores her North Slopes, the Governor ran her manicured fingernails across his manly small-town chest, tracing the embroidered name on his uniform: "SAM."
"Good golly, Joe, I haven't felt muscles like these since that moose I shot, skinned, gutted, and dressed--while giving birth to Piper. Or was it Track?"
As the Governor donated the rest of her clothing to charity, the Plumber covered her in kisses, striving to keep her red places red. But just as she reached down to touch his ever-growing capital gains, there was a cry from outside.
"Mom! Mooom!!!!"
"Aw heck," muttered the Governor. "What do you want, Bristol?"
"My water broke and my contractions are 5 minutes apart. Are you sure I should be taking a campaign bus tour across Pennsylvania?"
"You'll do it and Florida, too, young lady!" barked the Governor. "Now fly back to Alaska and get ready."
The Governor turned back to the Plumber, who was ready to fill her pipeline.
"Come on, baby," he moaned. "Wave your white flag of surrender."
"Oh yes, Joe, yes! My gosh," she exhaled in ecstasy, "I think I can see Russia."
But suddenly, their preconditioned negotiations were interrupted by an angry voice.
"What the hell is this?"
The two of them shot up, decoupling.
"John!"
"Senator!"
"Porking... on my own campaign bus... when we're down so many points in Ohio..." the Senator hyperventilated, staggering around, clutching his heart. He dropped to the floor, murmuring his last words, "My friends..."
The Governor gazed in horror at the man before her, lying in a very un-pro-Life position.
"Oh doggone it," she exclaimed. "What the heck do I do now?"

Kramkoob (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Friday, 31 October 2008 19:43 (6 years ago) Permalink

Very well done JW

♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Friday, 31 October 2008 21:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

hahaha!

888 (ice crӕm), Saturday, 1 November 2008 17:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q. Where can I find a picture of Joe giving a cocky grin to the camera as his face points upward to the inexorable heaven-bound future of these great United States?

A.

Uncle Shavedlongcock (max), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 21:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q: Who is Phil the Bricklayer?

A: Nobody cares.

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Saturday, October 18, 2008 2:28 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

lol

! (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 21:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

Q. Who designed the cover of Joe's book, which I have reproduced here: ?

A. Stevie Wonder

Uncle Shavedlongcock (max), Wednesday, 5 November 2008 21:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Report: Joe the Plumber Says McCain 'Appalled' Him


Joe Wurzelbacher says he felt "dirty" after "seeing some of the things that take place" on the campaign trail.

FOXNews.com

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

'Joe the Plumber' told conservative radio host Glenn Beck on Tuesday that he felt "dirty" after hitting the campaign trail with Republican presidential nominee John McCain and "seeing some of the things that take place," Politico reported.

Joe Wurzelbacher said he was specifically put off by McCain when it came to talk of the $700 billion bailout.

"When I was on the bus with him, I asked him a lot of questions about the bailout because most Americans did not want that to happen," Wurzelbacher told Beck. "I asked him some pretty direct questions. Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact, I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him."

Wurzelbacher said he stayed on the trail with McCain "honestly, because the thought of Barack Obama as president scares me even more."

Wurzelbacher, however, offered kind words to McCain running mate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

"Sarah Palin is absolutely the real deal," he said.

♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Wednesday, 10 December 2008 23:30 (5 years ago) Permalink

Q: Who, according to Joe the Plumber, is the real deal?
A: Sarah Palin and/or Evander Holyfield

Seanadams Molloy (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Wednesday, 10 December 2008 23:31 (5 years ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

January 7, 2009

Joe the plumber headed to Middle East

Posted: 09:01 PM ET

(CNN) – Joe Wurzelbacher: Plumber. Campaign celebrity. Foreign correspondent?

‘Joe the Plumber’ is headed overseas to try his hand at covering the conflict in Gaza, Wurzelbacher’s publicist Thomas Tabback confirmed to CNN Wednesday.

Wurzelbacher plans to spend 10 days in Israel reporting on the conflict for pjtv.com, a Web site run by conservative media outlet Pajamas Media.

The famous plumber will be focusing on the Israeli perspective on the situation. "It's tragic, I mean it really is,” Wurzelbacher told CNN affiliate WNWO “I don't say that in any little way. It's very tragic, but at the same time what are the Israeli people supposed to do.”

Wurzelbacher told WNWO he’s not worried about the potential dangers of his new gig. "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,” he told the CNN affiliate.

“Israeli officials are very excited to have him,” Tabback told CNN.

Filed under: Joe the plumber

♪㋡♫㋡ (gr8080), Thursday, 8 January 2009 04:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

Q: Is Joe The Plumber worried about getting killed in Gaza?
A: "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,”

♪㋡♫㋡ (gr8080), Thursday, 8 January 2009 04:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

3 years pass...

buzza, Wednesday, 7 March 2012 08:30 (2 years ago) Permalink

buzza, Wednesday, 7 March 2012 08:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

am0n, Wednesday, 20 June 2012 14:17 (2 years ago) Permalink


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