i don't want to use internet acronyms

Wow! I am being roundly ignored by this board.

is it because I don't speaka the Francaise? Eh?
Parlez vous my ass.

It is okay not to use the acronmys. I understand.

The Francaise is a badly spelled French lady, so it's probably better not to speak that though if you want to talk about your ass, I'm sure you'll find this a reasonably attentive board if there's enough liquor involved.

Well ok then!
I once shot pool with Sir-Mix-Alot -and since he invited me to join his posse I am assuming that my ass is....rateable.
I am bowing to his expertise, as we all should do.

Also, if the francaise is a badly spelled woman, what is chicken francaise (which I love.)

?

That would be KFC, Popeyes, Church's, etc.

I assume it was once Chicken à la française, which would simply mean, orginally, 'French-style'.

Hold your horses!

What you take for our determined ignorance is merely our abstraction. Personally, I have been so abstracted for the past six hours as to qualify for catatonia among those less versed in abstracted states than we AskADrunkites.

Why, I have been without detectable motion for as long as a fortnight, discoverable to be alive only by the exhalations of concentrated alcohol fumes and a somewhat thready pulse. I awoke with a badly coated tongue and eyeballs so shrunken they rattled in their sockets when I blinked.

Yet, you come in here, ring the bell at the desk and expect service in less than the full circuit of a twelve-hour clockface! We drunks cannot be summoned from the vasty deep so easily as that. Especially in the absence of poppycakes, sherry or snuff.

That's snuff out of you, varlet.

Oh lord, aimurchie, don't be offended by our indolence. This is heavy traffic as far as we're concerned, why, poor Michael barely has the energy to summon his butler to ask the page to send the scullerymaid running to the undergardener to convey his equivocalities, at least before seven in the p.m.

Though I suppose if one were to respond to the thread question the answer must surely be that internet acronyms serve no purpose other than to make the user sound somewhat doltish, certainly with regard to the detestable lol, even further when said acronym is appended before a noun like some ghastly, bastardised injunction to act. Wtf, however, retains a pleasing anglo-saxon robustness.

Mon cher Matt,

Indolence is no insult to me, but I have never equivocated at any time, before or after 7 PM in whatever time zone you care to mention, with the undergardner. She knows my feelings as clearly as I have been able to put them to words and I know hers.

Yours in spirits,

M

PS: I've found over the years that it's not only better to leave the scullerymaid to her thankless but necessary work but it tends to make the cook less cross, too, which, I'm sure you can appreciate, is of rather more importance even than the state of the flowers. Unless the pages are overwhelmed by guests, they seem to carry my equivocalities quite nicely and when they are, the butler always manages to find a stable boy, the discretion of whom is unmatched.

I wuz readin Matt and I wuz all like LULZ!

Then MW made me go ,like, RAWR felder

Matts comeback wuz BFF...M'k?

and MW got all stable boy on his @ss

I went OMGWTFBBQ!

Dude, I LOVE when shit's all OMGWTFBBQ!