I am not speaking here of those classic stars and glittering moments of the past, nostalgia for whom and for which are perennial afflictions among a certain sort of stage-struck person - stars such as Ethel Merman, who when she winked, it was said the back row flinched in pain - moments such as the tender scene in Oklahoma where Hap, Soupy and Chink castrate a calf and sing about gingham aprons.
No, I refer to the modern, souless version of Broadway - where actors and actresses by the double dozen dress up as whimsical animals and pound out relentlessly sappy lyrics culled from the papers that fell behind by Steven Sondheim's piano.
I leave this question to be answered by those capable chappies, the walking, typing dead of Ask A Drunk, whose fingernails continue to grow even yet.
― Aimless (Aimless), Thursday, 11 November 2004 02:38 (nineteen years ago) link
― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 11 November 2004 20:09 (nineteen years ago) link
I presume you were not holding you breath for an answer to this question.
My own suggestion would be to be louder than a hoover when it is hoovering. This seems to me sufficiently loud for most megaphonic ambitions. However, if you are exceptionally ambitious, you might wish to be louder than an Airbus full of irritated french people.
― Aimless, Friday, 12 October 2007 00:28 (sixteen years ago) link
I suspect that my answer caused such collective overexcitement at its potential for comedy misinterpretation that, in the end, no joke was made. A sad loss for us all, there.
― Matt, Saturday, 13 October 2007 23:05 (sixteen years ago) link
no joke was made
**ahem** {clears throat, taps foot impatiently}
― Aimless, Sunday, 14 October 2007 02:12 (sixteen years ago) link
Hey you! Yeah, you..... the one tapping your foot.
I'm casting an off broadway musical and you look prefect for the leading role!
How far off broadway you ask?
Well...... it's mostly in another State but it is to be performed in a real theater with real curtains and everything....
All you need to do is sign this "Statement of Sobriety", submit yourself for a full physical by a Doctor of our choice (at your expense), and wear these pinkish lavender tights whilst tapping your foot.... actually it is tap dancing but we can settle the details at a later date.
But for now if you would just sign here.... and here.... and here, and initial here showing that you signed here, and here, as well as here, here, here, and lastly here.
― еdë §téè£, Sunday, 14 October 2007 04:14 (sixteen years ago) link