http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en-GB&client=mv-google&v=UQvN8-nsxpw
― dextor ellis bextor, Sunday, 20 May 2012 12:46 (eleven years ago) link
Why hello there. We understand you are a writer and have things to say, and write things, mainly about Florence and the Machine. And that you are a member of a band, that band being, oddly enough, the band you have linked in this opening post. It could be possible that you are thinking "I am clever and I will introduce myself further by posting this without context as a means of possible spam so that my foolishness that was rightfully mocked earlier might somehow be ignored!"
And yet.
― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 20 May 2012 12:52 (eleven years ago) link
not a writer. wrote an obnoxious thing about florence as a one off for my mate's website. the rest is accurate though.
― dextor ellis bextor, Sunday, 20 May 2012 12:59 (eleven years ago) link
oh, and not 'possible spam', DEFINITE spam.Incidentally this song is our debut single (well... this versions just a demo. we're doing a version proper with stephen street which will be out on Normal Records towards july/august.)we're great and florence is shite.
― dextor ellis bextor, Sunday, 20 May 2012 13:14 (eleven years ago) link
c-minus for effort
― crüt, Sunday, 20 May 2012 13:18 (eleven years ago) link
They're all really ugly. They have terrible hair, I don't like their clothes, and I don't want to fuck any of them. Also their shoes are really ugly, I think they're too skinny and possibly need to gain some weight. Maybe do something about their faces. Grow some beards. See if they can't look a couple of years older. Or maybe younger. They should look more like they're in a boyband. They should look more like they're in Radiohead. They should be more tall and have different fat distribution. Maybe bleach their hair. Maybe pierce their ears or get cosmetic surgery to look more like Justin Bieber. Actually they're so ugly, I'm not sure it will help. Man, I do not want to put any of them in my vagina, so why on earth would I want to put them in my ears? Look at their awful clothes. They can't seem to make up their minds whether the weather is warm or cold. Like, half of them are wearing leather jackets and the other half are wearing vests. Seem like a total image band to me. And their image screams "I am going to hate this." However, two of them appear to making out in the promo photo, so there might be some good slash fan fiction potential at some point. I don't like the way their legs are all so open. Dirty sluts. They probably want it.
Oh wait, I've just realised that my sound card has gone again. I've just watched the video without sound. But, you know, they're men. It doesn't matter what they sound like, it just matters what they look like. And based on how ugly they are and how much I dislike their clothes, they definitely suck big hairy moosecock.
Now go away.
― They have fangs, They have teeth! (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:37 (eleven years ago) link
I think this band is really cool
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:39 (eleven years ago) link
^^^ says someone who has never seen any other bands, ever.
― banal like a null (snoball), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:44 (eleven years ago) link
no they have really cool haircuts and wear really cool clothes
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:46 (eleven years ago) link
I think these guys are gonna be really big
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:48 (eleven years ago) link
See? Why would we need to know what they sound like, when we can judge them entirely based on what they look like? This is, apparently, the way it's done.
― They have fangs, They have teeth! (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
where is NME on this??? somebody should tell them about these new young lads!!!
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
what a joke... NME is probably covering justin bieber or some shite... lol!!!
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:50 (eleven years ago) link
sounding like something scraped off a toilet venue floor in 2003 is a worse reflection on yr character than shitting on florence
― Serov devochka s persikami (nakhchivan), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:50 (eleven years ago) link
please stop the fantastic satire! it's making me weep onto my distressed brogues!
― dextor ellis bextor, Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:54 (eleven years ago) link
who are you??
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:55 (eleven years ago) link
I really wanna know don't care
― banal like a null (snoball), Sunday, 20 May 2012 14:56 (eleven years ago) link
we just make music for ourselves, and if anyone likes it, that's a bonus. or a travesty.
depends on your feelings towards posh singers whose songs are written by the geezer out of test icicles. if you like em, then slagging us is the soup du jour it seems.
― dextor ellis bextor, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:00 (eleven years ago) link
there's a certain kind of ironclad self-belief that mistakes unironic 5th-gen revivalism for "keeping the faith" and bone-headed misogyny for ironic banter that means we're not gonna get any play from dexie here i suspect. so much as i'd love to see him evolve into a much-loved regular i get the feeling this kind of puppy-ish self-promo is all we're gonna get and we shd probably go to the public vote
― Vermicious Knid A (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:00 (eleven years ago) link
dextor, do u enjoy watching european football?
― Mordy, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:01 (eleven years ago) link
but just to spell it out dex, you're barking up 3 or 4 wrong trees. i don't think anybody here is a butthurt Florence fan. we just don't share your exciting new vision of futurist pop either. soz.
― Vermicious Knid A (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:02 (eleven years ago) link
slagging us is the soup du jour it seems
― Mordy, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:03 (eleven years ago) link
He's ugly, so we don't have to pay attention to his posts, either! Win-Win!
― They have fangs, They have teeth! (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:06 (eleven years ago) link
yeah mordy, it will be multi format. and on the compliment- cheers! a lot of other people reckon i look like pierce brosnan too.
― dextor ellis bextor, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:09 (eleven years ago) link
"other people"
― crüt, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:13 (eleven years ago) link
Come on, come on, I'm sure his mum thinks he's attractive, too. That makes two.
― They have fangs, They have teeth! (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:14 (eleven years ago) link
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The Valentines may refer to:
The Valentines (rock band), an Australian rock 'n' roll band active from 1966-1970, chiefly noted for their lead singer, Bon Scott The Valentines (doo-wop band), one of the most highly regarded American Doo Wop groups from the mid 1950s
― Serov devochka s persikami (nakhchivan), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:27 (eleven years ago) link
I miss Brother.
― owenf, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:31 (eleven years ago) link
nakh otm
― crüt, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:33 (eleven years ago) link
Viva Valentines Beyond
― Serov devochka s persikami (nakhchivan), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:35 (eleven years ago) link
i thought everybody here liked supergrass
― The term or title antichrist, in Christian theology, refers to (contenderizer), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:51 (eleven years ago) link
@_@
― markers, Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:51 (eleven years ago) link
you probably should have warmed up for this with a few cat gifs and posts about situation comedies
― spextor vs bextor (contenderizer), Sunday, 20 May 2012 15:58 (eleven years ago) link
sounding like something scraped off a toilet venue floor
trying v. hard to parse this, third eye opening
― cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 20 May 2012 16:09 (eleven years ago) link
The Gerogerigegege have an album they recorded at a toilet venue I think
― crüt, Sunday, 20 May 2012 16:17 (eleven years ago) link
Thing is, something that actually *sounded* like the floor of a toilet venue like, say, the Bull & Gate, feels - i.e. really really sticky and slightly damp - would probably actually sound something like Annie's Bubblegum.
Which would actually be awesome. And I feel we're doing the floors of the toilet venue circuit of Britain a vast disservice, comparing this band to them.
― They have fangs, They have teeth! (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Sunday, 20 May 2012 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
hey y'all, is this worth playing even for lols or could I get the same effect from staring at a wall
― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Sunday, 20 May 2012 17:22 (eleven years ago) link
jesus christ, when will someone just invade this country and kill us all to save the embarrassment of stuff like this.
― Jamie_ATP, Sunday, 20 May 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link
xp It would have to be a phenomenally ugly wall. This guy is about half as entertaining as Tailpipe Man.
― banal like a null (snoball), Sunday, 20 May 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link
Cheer up Jamie, you could be [country] or [country].
― poxen, Sunday, 20 May 2012 18:32 (eleven years ago) link
i couldn't have been more certain that this was an iltmi thread
― flopson, Sunday, 20 May 2012 18:57 (eleven years ago) link
this guy : Black Sabbath : sissymanwhore : Kraftwerk
― cissémanwhore (DJ Mencap), Sunday, 20 May 2012 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
Did this guy do something really annoying on some Florence & the Machine thread? Like, the vibe here seems sorta harsh even by ILX standards.
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 21 May 2012 03:58 (eleven years ago) link
Music Criticism 2012, UK Division: "Instead of a review of this performer's concert, here are 50 insulting remarks about her appearance."
― Word of Wisdom Robots (Abbbottt), Monday, 21 May 2012 04:01 (eleven years ago) link
sid james' laugh is one of the greatest things in history
― mexican sumner (electricsound), Monday, 21 May 2012 04:04 (eleven years ago) link
a real charmer this one
― lag∞n, Monday, 21 May 2012 04:05 (eleven years ago) link
okay, yeah, he seems like kind of a challopsy pill. And the 50 insults thing is really terrible. He's like fifteen though right? Dude could grow out of that and become a true ILXor although probably a somewhat dull one. Trying too hard, doesn't have the fundamental spark of a CaptainLorax.
― Doctor Casino, Monday, 21 May 2012 04:15 (eleven years ago) link
No I think this band is really onto something. I don't think anyone has ever made music like this before. Maybe garagey power pop-punk will be the next craze thanks to The Valentines. Great name too.
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Monday, 21 May 2012 04:23 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8h2qlIAuJw
― Lee971 (Lee626), Monday, 21 May 2012 05:49 (eleven years ago) link
cartel syndicate ripoff
― dexdexter ellis bextor (electricsound), Monday, 21 May 2012 05:51 (eleven years ago) link
To be serious for a moment... The fact that ILX is giving him more than the usual newbie hazing over that Florence shit is one of those moments that makes me actually proud of ILX.
Like all the conversations and discussions we've had are actually starting to sink in and the penny has dropped. When you have the entire open goal of Florence's music and how awful it is, just sitting there and you go for insulting her appearance, that's not just lazy thinking and bad writing, it's sexist shit and sexist shit has real life consequences.
I know dude is so oblivious he's probably gonna go on now about how we "can't handle his banter" and bonus points if there's a "make me a sandwich" joke involved (see how engrained this shit gets, that I can internally make the insults before dudes make them.) This shit is insidious, that it's not the one dude who thinks he's hilarious, but the way that all the males on a messaeboard who could go either way (who could be reasonable posters or could act like pillocks, before anyone makes any LJ jokes) take that example. So it makes me heartened to see people calling him out on it, even if he's too clueless to even recognise what he's being called out for. It's one of those cases where I think peer pressure can actually work in a way that 100 carefully argued threads about gender can't always.
It's actually heartening. So no one spoil my moment, please.
― They have fangs, They have teeth! (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Monday, 21 May 2012 07:36 (eleven years ago) link
I hope this doesn't spoil your moment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btEKT85fx2w
― Lee971 (Lee626), Monday, 21 May 2012 08:10 (eleven years ago) link
oh and WRT taking a slagging for writing sexist shit about female musicians:
How Not To Write About Female Musicians: A Handy Guide
― Lee971 (Lee626), Monday, 21 May 2012 08:29 (eleven years ago) link