IMPORTANT ILM GENRES POLL

try again

POWER METAL The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave…….. without the princess.

* VIKING METAL The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

* GORE METAL The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* DOOM METAL The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ‘HEAVY METAL’ protagonist.

* GLAM METAL The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* NU METAL The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

Folk or doom. As in life, etc...

the doom one did make me chuckle

idk I kind of love the black one myself

the prog one is funny too

i dont get the honda civic reference in the nu-metal one but the baggy trousers catching fire is lol

the gore metal one im pretty damn sure is an actual lyric from a cannibal corpse song

haha I like "That’s the end of the sad story." at the end of the doom one. Candlemass should have ended every song that way.

you mean they didn't??

how many classic songs could have ended with the line "That’s the end of the sad story." ?

Candlemass "and please let me die in solitude... That is the end of the sad story."

Too much sex going on in most of these genres.

so folk then?

New Wave of British Metal: Protagonist rides in on an 18-wheeler loaded with crates of black leather pants and vests, runs over the dragon, drives the princess home, fucks her brother.

the honda civic reference is golden. I don't how many civics I've seen with a godmamn juggalo sticker on em!

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shReddit

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The protagonist IS the dragon...

.... That’s the end of the sad story.