Horrible 70s album titles like I've Got My Own Album To Do

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REO Speedwagon - You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish or whatever the fuck that one is called
Eddie Harris - That Is Why You're Overweight

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Saturday, 1 October 2011 03:33 (3 years ago) Permalink

those are both pretty bitchin'. try harder.

wasabi pea-sized masculinity (latebloomer), Saturday, 1 October 2011 03:44 (3 years ago) Permalink

Joe Walsh to thread.

Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:25 (3 years ago) Permalink

Elvin Bishop: Hometown Boy Makes Good!

The Man With The Flavored Toothpick (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:35 (3 years ago) Permalink

the Harris title makes sense in context with the album art, the woman's hand holding a bon-bon or truffle or whatever

but why single out the 70's? i mean there aren't many worse album titles than say 'Dongs of Sevotion' or 'Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle'

Stormy Davis, Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:55 (3 years ago) Permalink

oh man prog rock totally wins this thread

Yes - Tormato
Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It
Caravan - If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:32 (3 years ago) Permalink

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:38 (3 years ago) Permalink

Caravan also wins for 'For Girls Who Go Plump in the Night'!

Stormy Davis, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:42 (3 years ago) Permalink

ha ha, yes!

Blind Dog at St. Dunstans was a pretty dreadful album title too

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

OK, time to defend prog rock :

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other is a quote from artist John Minton - "We're all awash in a sea of blood, and the least we can do is wave to each other", which isn't very quirky at all.

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

Caravan - yes awful, although I quite like the Blind Dog At St Dunstans title.

|III|||II|||I|I||| (Matt #2), Saturday, 1 October 2011 08:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

Ha yeah Joe Walsh's 'But Seriously Folks' was what immediately sprung to mind when I saw the thread title (xposts). Also:

Lowell George - Thanks, I'll Eat it Here

Gavin, Leeds, Saturday, 1 October 2011 08:26 (3 years ago) Permalink

haha i was JUST about to post the Lowell George title

some dude, Saturday, 1 October 2011 11:33 (3 years ago) Permalink

Frampton - I'm In You

Turrican, Saturday, 1 October 2011 11:43 (3 years ago) Permalink

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

It's a compilation, isn't it?

Not the 70s but it's hard to beat that run of three albums from Phil Collins: "Hello, I Must Be Going!", "No Jacket Required", "...But Seriously" ... which rips off Joe Walsh too!

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:10 (3 years ago) Permalink

Oh, that Phil Collins and his waging war on restaurants that don't let him in!

Turrican, Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:17 (3 years ago) Permalink

Think I'd refuse to pay the bill in any restaurant that let Phil Collins in

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

I love puns MORE than the next man but...

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:23 (3 years ago) Permalink

Hate "Crisis? What Crisis?" by Supertramp

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:26 (3 years ago) Permalink

Good lord, I never realized "Whale Meat" was a pun, I just thought it was a stupid album title.

Prostetnic Vogon Limbaugh (Dan Peterson), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:36 (3 years ago) Permalink

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other is a quote from artist John Minton - "We're all awash in a sea of blood, and the least we can do is wave to each other", which isn't very quirky at all.

We're All Awash in a Sea of Blood would have been a way better album title

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 18:27 (3 years ago) Permalink

Kansas were on a roll, as Leftoverture is some painful titling, and then came Point of Know Return.

Mike Love's Jagger (Spectrist), Saturday, 1 October 2011 18:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

It is obviously a great album, but I have always hated the title 'Hall of the Mountain Grill'

master musicians of jamiroquai (NickB), Saturday, 1 October 2011 20:07 (3 years ago) Permalink

Budgie - if I were brittania I'd waive the rules

blank, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:31 (3 years ago) Permalink

The Lowell George one is especially bad because it was also what he wanted the first Little Feat album to be called. Amazing that he held onto it for SO LONG.

cwkiii, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:37 (3 years ago) Permalink

Sabbath's Technical Ecstacy is pretty ridiculous, especially considering the decidedly non-technical content.

Nate Carson, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:41 (3 years ago) Permalink

per metal injection (Eazy), Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:46 (3 years ago) Permalink

Every song on D.I. Go Pop is like a horrible 70s album title.

GoshLovely, Saturday, 1 October 2011 23:36 (3 years ago) Permalink

Stretchin' Out in Bootsy's Rubber Band
Ahh... The Name Is Bootsy, Baby!
Bootsy? Player of the Year
This Boot is Made for Fonk-N

shake it, shake it, sugary pee (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:00 (3 years ago) Permalink

This might be the third time in the last month I've posted this:

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

jer.fairall, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

jer.fairall, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:22 (3 years ago) Permalink

Uriah Heep - The Magician's Birthday

geeta, Sunday, 2 October 2011 03:33 (3 years ago) Permalink

I'd think Budgie's "If I Were Brittania I'd Waive the Rules" kind of fits here.

earlnash, Sunday, 2 October 2011 03:59 (3 years ago) Permalink

Fred Wesley & The Horny Horns - Say Blow By Blow Backwards
even Joe Walsh gets a headache thinking bout that one

Paul, Sunday, 2 October 2011 04:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

Jim Capaldi's "Whale Meat Again" was a protest song about the killing of Whales. (upthread)

Mark G, Monday, 3 October 2011 08:49 (3 years ago) Permalink

Makes it worse.

Naive Teen Idol, Monday, 3 October 2011 13:32 (3 years ago) Permalink

think there's a faces best-of, maybe released after the 70s but recalling its syntactic constructions, good little boys ... when they're asleep

honest weights, square dealings (schlump), Monday, 3 October 2011 13:43 (3 years ago) Permalink

This may be the best/worst:

per metal injection (Eazy), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

Faces - A Nod Is As Good As A Wink...To A Blind Horse

1971, so this may be the template

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:18 (3 years ago) Permalink

Ringo Starr - Ringo's Rotogravure

OK this isn't verbose but it's one of those albums I used to stare at as a record-store clerk, thinking 'what a dumb title'

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:20 (3 years ago) Permalink

see also Ringo The 4th - his sixth album

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

Is "Sometimes I Wish we were an Eagle" a pun?

She Got the Shakes, Monday, 10 October 2011 14:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

IMO "Too Old To Rock'n'Roll, Too Young To Die" is a great title. Sums up pretty well the thoughts of the first generation who grew up with rock music, and how they dealt with not being teenagers anymore.

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 13:21 (3 years ago) Permalink

Man - Do You Like It here Now, Are you Settling In? and (although I kinda like this one) 2 Oz. of Plastic With A Hole In The Middle.

Prostetnic Vogon Limbaugh (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 15:06 (3 years ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

I've been thinking (for no particular reason) about lame 70s album titles recently and just found this thread.

For sheer crassness, I can't help thinking of "Fanx Ta Ra" by Sad Cafe:

Daniel Giraffe, Sunday, 22 January 2012 07:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

xp Oh I get it... "Which one's Willie." Which means no one in the band was named Willie. Quite a hoot/hollar combo.

billstevejim, Sunday, 22 January 2012 08:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

This definitely exists and is not a bootleg. It's a compilation but at least the title can't be blamed on the band, the liner notes say the label came up with it. Although they did apparently play gigs with a backdrop with "PRETENTIOUS" in big letters above them.

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 22 January 2012 12:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

greg kihn to thread, surely

scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Sunday, 22 January 2012 14:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

(i realize it's hardly in the true caravan spirit, but 1978's "next of kihn" would have been a prime offender even if he hadn't gone back to the well a dozen times)

scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Sunday, 22 January 2012 14:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

Doobie Brothers - What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 22 January 2012 16:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

sorry :/

unknown pleasure zone (uptown churl), Thursday, 25 September 2014 18:52 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

God that's so bad. I totally support the proposed dot com albums thread.

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 25 September 2014 18:54 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

(But would be okay with it also just being the all-purpose lol90s album title thread)

Doctor Casino, Thursday, 25 September 2014 18:55 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

what's the crap on the sides of that album supposed to read??

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 25 September 2014 18:58 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

dying laughing at the car over the lake album

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Thursday, 25 September 2014 19:01 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Car Over the Lake album is awesome

Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Thursday, 25 September 2014 19:08 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Can you dig the Car Over The Lake album sleeve? I knew that you could...

kornrulez6969, Thursday, 25 September 2014 19:09 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the one guy can't figure out how to do the hand goggles thing! new favorite band

emo canon in twee major (BradNelson), Thursday, 25 September 2014 19:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

j-tull.com is a double winner for terrible album titles and awful album covers. Also I once gave it a taste at one of those tower records listening stations and I have a clear memory of it being equally dreadful.

Dokken played here for a Ribfest and people were total assholes (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 25 September 2014 19:13 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"If I Only Knew" is a tite cut from that lp

salthigh, Thursday, 25 September 2014 19:20 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

dot com albums

got a personal favourite of these, a "melodic rock band" from Wales

well-behaved wingmen really hate Mystery (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 25 September 2014 23:34 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Vernon Locke, Friday, 26 September 2014 00:55 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

feel like these dot com ones aren't really in the spirit of this thread

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 26 September 2014 01:18 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

that Aynsley Dunbar one kind of wins this thread

Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Friday, 26 September 2014 01:25 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the Magic! - Don't Kill the Magic one sucks because the cover is just their band logo instead of the lead singer dressed up as a magician in a tuxedo holding a top hat & a rabbit standing up on the gallows w/a noose around is neck and the whole crowd cheering him on while the hangman is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 26 September 2014 01:39 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the Magic! - Don't Kill the Magic one sucks because the cover is just their band logo instead of the lead singer dressed up as a magician in a tuxedo holding a top hat & a rabbit standing up on the gallows w/a noose around is neck and the whole crowd cheering him on while the hangman is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Doctor Casino, Friday, 26 September 2014 02:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

but otm

Doctor Casino, Friday, 26 September 2014 02:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 28 September 2014 06:30 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I dunno if we've covered these, but Oh hai Jim Capaldi

You and Dad's Army? (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 28 September 2014 07:19 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I see now one of those is in the first segment of the thread.

You and Dad's Army? (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 28 September 2014 07:24 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

the aynsley dunbar cover up there reminded me of the existence of this monstrosity:

no lime tangier, Sunday, 28 September 2014 07:38 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

w/o the text the Aynsley Dunbar one would be an intriguing image, which is much more than can be said for most of these monstrosities

Merdeyeux, Sunday, 28 September 2014 11:47 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Fumble, "Poetry in Lotion"

The Count has shot himself (Tom D.), Sunday, 28 September 2014 13:40 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"Fumble" indeed

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 28 September 2014 15:51 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Some of these I would love to have heard the thought process & meetings behind these covers/titles

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 28 September 2014 16:14 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Feel like a certain percentage of these are artifacts of a different era of record contracts, where any pop-rock act could get four or five LPs records out of one moderately successful single early on, and then by record four or five it's clear nobody gives a fuck about this has-been, and they'll just slap whatever together. Also drugs were probably involved somehow.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 28 September 2014 16:18 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Also what are the roots of this... We're Only In It For The Money by Zappa/Mothers? Thigh no visual pun on the art

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 28 September 2014 16:24 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I think of it like a macroscopic elaboration of the Pepper's/MMT -> White Album -> Let It Be/Abbey Road comedown. This journey into the weird zone of pretension-to-unpretentiousness - - - just some shaggy guys who play rock and roll, but there's still a belief that the album cover has to be something, even if it's just like us walking across a street in a kind of distinctively framed shot or something. The rubicon has been crossed and you can't just go back to, y'know, My Girl (Gone Gone Gone) And Ten Other Hits! or Sing Along With Orleans or Still More From Wet Willie, except as a self-aware gesture that such things are the quasi-innocent hucksterism of an earlier era to which no band, no matter how down-to-earth their good-times bar rock might be, can consider returning.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 28 September 2014 16:35 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Like basically the whole idea that "the album" is now a "thing" may in fact not really well-suited to the majority of rock bands... but they, the public, and the record companies totally bought into it for whatever other reasons.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 28 September 2014 16:37 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

A lot of these albums are basically "here's the last eleven blues rock jams we've cranked out in the studio and who cares what the title is."

Yo Gotti Nutter Ting Hummin' (President Keyes), Sunday, 28 September 2014 17:56 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I confess I kinda like this one, makes me want to hear the album

The Count has shot himself (Tom D.), Sunday, 28 September 2014 20:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

As this thread has deepened and mellowed with time, I find my earlier suspicion of records like this fading as I browse the used bins, and increasingly I'm more interested in listening to these types of albums than any others, even though I'm certain they're inessential crap even in the hands of artists I like.

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 28 September 2014 20:07 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I think of it like a macroscopic elaboration of the Pepper's/MMT -> White Album -> Let It Be/Abbey Road comedown. This journey into the weird zone of pretension-to-unpretentiousness - - - just some shaggy guys who play rock and roll, but there's still a belief that the album cover has to be /something/, even if it's just like us walking across a street in a kind of distinctively framed shot or something. The rubicon has been crossed and you can't just go back to, y'know, /My Girl (Gone Gone Gone) And Ten Other Hits!/ or /Sing Along With Orleans/ or /Still More From Wet Willie/, except as a self-aware gesture that such things are the quasi-innocent hucksterism of an earlier era to which no band, no matter how down-to-earth their good-times bar rock might be, can consider returning.

Awesome post

The "5" Astronomer Royales (James Redd and the Blecchs), Sunday, 28 September 2014 20:51 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

indeed

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 21:50 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

it's kinda funny how quick it all went like dylan and lennon and them all wanting to get "back to basics" playing blues and rock n roll and stuff, it's like you guys were only away from the basics for like 5 years!

u2 removal machine (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 21:51 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

There's something about these covers though that gives me a depressing feeling, like hanging out with a middle-aged, childless uncle for too long. I don't want records to give me that yep-this-is-all-there-is feeling.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 21:57 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Some of these I would love to have heard the thought process & meetings behind these covers/titles

I think many were "we need this by Friday, here's $1000 and a bag of weed..."

Also drugs were probably involved somehow.

Yep.

Dick Clownload (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 22:10 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

The art isn't trying to match the title in a super-literal way, but this is "You Should See The Rest Of The Band" by David Bromberg.

Dick Clownload (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 30 September 2014 22:12 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 22:15 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

like hanging out with a middle-aged, childless uncle for too long.

otm, people who don't procreate are the worst

brimstead, Tuesday, 30 September 2014 23:11 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

(gatefold cover, back side is NSFW)

Doctor Casino, Sunday, 12 October 2014 22:10 (1 week ago) Permalink

Sometimes I scroll through my head and smdh at how many pointless records have been made.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 13 October 2014 03:33 (1 week ago) Permalink

Stone the Crows, "Ontinuous Performance"

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0002/169/MI0002169926.jpg

... and a Martin Parr photo essay (Tom D.), Monday, 13 October 2014 12:28 (1 week ago) Permalink

... that's better.

... and a Martin Parr photo essay (Tom D.), Monday, 13 October 2014 12:32 (1 week ago) Permalink

rip leslie harvey

mookieproof, Monday, 13 October 2014 12:47 (1 week ago) Permalink

lol'ing at "The Hexorcist - a devil of an album"

The Complainte of Ray Tabano, Monday, 13 October 2014 13:43 (1 week ago) Permalink

"Shittin' Em Out" featuring a vinyl record emerging from the artist's rear.

my jaw left (Hurting 2), Monday, 13 October 2014 14:11 (1 week ago) Permalink


hardcore dilettante, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 21:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

I had to look up that JoJO Gunne album and uh

The band's third album Jumpin' the Gunne failed to rise any higher than #169 on the Billboard Top 200 Chart. This was partially attributed to a controversial cover of an overweight naked woman jumping over the band who were in a bed as she attempted to reach a baby pig. The gatefold jacket had the same woman with the album credits written on her in black marker as she cavorts with a piglet.

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 21:18 (1 week ago) Permalink

that bunny sigler is awwwwwesome,

and yeah, jojo gunne seem pretty fuckin gross, ha ha the woman is fat!!

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 14 October 2014 21:20 (1 week ago) Permalink


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