Horrible 70s album titles like I've Got My Own Album To Do

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REO Speedwagon - You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish or whatever the fuck that one is called
Eddie Harris - That Is Why You're Overweight

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Saturday, 1 October 2011 03:33 (five years ago) Permalink

those are both pretty bitchin'. try harder.

wasabi pea-sized masculinity (latebloomer), Saturday, 1 October 2011 03:44 (five years ago) Permalink

Joe Walsh to thread.

Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:25 (five years ago) Permalink

Elvin Bishop: Hometown Boy Makes Good!

The Man With The Flavored Toothpick (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:35 (five years ago) Permalink

the Harris title makes sense in context with the album art, the woman's hand holding a bon-bon or truffle or whatever

but why single out the 70's? i mean there aren't many worse album titles than say 'Dongs of Sevotion' or 'Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle'

Stormy Davis, Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:55 (five years ago) Permalink

oh man prog rock totally wins this thread

Yes - Tormato
Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It
Caravan - If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:32 (five years ago) Permalink

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:38 (five years ago) Permalink

Caravan also wins for 'For Girls Who Go Plump in the Night'!

Stormy Davis, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:42 (five years ago) Permalink

ha ha, yes!

Blind Dog at St. Dunstans was a pretty dreadful album title too

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:47 (five years ago) Permalink

OK, time to defend prog rock :

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other is a quote from artist John Minton - "We're all awash in a sea of blood, and the least we can do is wave to each other", which isn't very quirky at all.

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

Caravan - yes awful, although I quite like the Blind Dog At St Dunstans title.

|III|||II|||I|I||| (Matt #2), Saturday, 1 October 2011 08:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Ha yeah Joe Walsh's 'But Seriously Folks' was what immediately sprung to mind when I saw the thread title (xposts). Also:

Lowell George - Thanks, I'll Eat it Here

Gavin, Leeds, Saturday, 1 October 2011 08:26 (five years ago) Permalink

haha i was JUST about to post the Lowell George title

some dude, Saturday, 1 October 2011 11:33 (five years ago) Permalink

Frampton - I'm In You

Turrican, Saturday, 1 October 2011 11:43 (five years ago) Permalink

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

It's a compilation, isn't it?

Not the 70s but it's hard to beat that run of three albums from Phil Collins: "Hello, I Must Be Going!", "No Jacket Required", "...But Seriously" ... which rips off Joe Walsh too!

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:10 (five years ago) Permalink

Oh, that Phil Collins and his waging war on restaurants that don't let him in!

Turrican, Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Think I'd refuse to pay the bill in any restaurant that let Phil Collins in

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:21 (five years ago) Permalink

I love puns MORE than the next man but...

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:23 (five years ago) Permalink

Hate "Crisis? What Crisis?" by Supertramp

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:26 (five years ago) Permalink

Good lord, I never realized "Whale Meat" was a pun, I just thought it was a stupid album title.

Prostetnic Vogon Limbaugh (Dan Peterson), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:36 (five years ago) Permalink

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other is a quote from artist John Minton - "We're all awash in a sea of blood, and the least we can do is wave to each other", which isn't very quirky at all.

We're All Awash in a Sea of Blood would have been a way better album title

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 18:27 (five years ago) Permalink

Kansas were on a roll, as Leftoverture is some painful titling, and then came Point of Know Return.

Mike Love's Jagger (Spectrist), Saturday, 1 October 2011 18:45 (five years ago) Permalink

It is obviously a great album, but I have always hated the title 'Hall of the Mountain Grill'

master musicians of jamiroquai (NickB), Saturday, 1 October 2011 20:07 (five years ago) Permalink

Budgie - if I were brittania I'd waive the rules

blank, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:31 (five years ago) Permalink

The Lowell George one is especially bad because it was also what he wanted the first Little Feat album to be called. Amazing that he held onto it for SO LONG.

cwkiii, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:37 (five years ago) Permalink

Sabbath's Technical Ecstacy is pretty ridiculous, especially considering the decidedly non-technical content.

Nate Carson, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:41 (five years ago) Permalink

per metal injection (Eazy), Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:46 (five years ago) Permalink

Every song on D.I. Go Pop is like a horrible 70s album title.

GoshLovely, Saturday, 1 October 2011 23:36 (five years ago) Permalink

Stretchin' Out in Bootsy's Rubber Band
Ahh... The Name Is Bootsy, Baby!
Bootsy? Player of the Year
This Boot is Made for Fonk-N

shake it, shake it, sugary pee (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:00 (five years ago) Permalink

This might be the third time in the last month I've posted this:

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:01 (five years ago) Permalink

jer.fairall, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:20 (five years ago) Permalink

jer.fairall, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:22 (five years ago) Permalink

Uriah Heep - The Magician's Birthday

geeta, Sunday, 2 October 2011 03:33 (five years ago) Permalink

I'd think Budgie's "If I Were Brittania I'd Waive the Rules" kind of fits here.

earlnash, Sunday, 2 October 2011 03:59 (five years ago) Permalink

Fred Wesley & The Horny Horns - Say Blow By Blow Backwards
even Joe Walsh gets a headache thinking bout that one

Paul, Sunday, 2 October 2011 04:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Jim Capaldi's "Whale Meat Again" was a protest song about the killing of Whales. (upthread)

Mark G, Monday, 3 October 2011 08:49 (five years ago) Permalink

Makes it worse.

Naive Teen Idol, Monday, 3 October 2011 13:32 (five years ago) Permalink

think there's a faces best-of, maybe released after the 70s but recalling its syntactic constructions, good little boys ... when they're asleep

honest weights, square dealings (schlump), Monday, 3 October 2011 13:43 (five years ago) Permalink

This may be the best/worst:

per metal injection (Eazy), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:04 (five years ago) Permalink

Faces - A Nod Is As Good As A Wink...To A Blind Horse

1971, so this may be the template

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:18 (five years ago) Permalink

Ringo Starr - Ringo's Rotogravure

OK this isn't verbose but it's one of those albums I used to stare at as a record-store clerk, thinking 'what a dumb title'

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:20 (five years ago) Permalink

see also Ringo The 4th - his sixth album

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Is "Sometimes I Wish we were an Eagle" a pun?

She Got the Shakes, Monday, 10 October 2011 14:51 (five years ago) Permalink

IMO "Too Old To Rock'n'Roll, Too Young To Die" is a great title. Sums up pretty well the thoughts of the first generation who grew up with rock music, and how they dealt with not being teenagers anymore.

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 13:21 (five years ago) Permalink

Man - Do You Like It here Now, Are you Settling In? and (although I kinda like this one) 2 Oz. of Plastic With A Hole In The Middle.

Prostetnic Vogon Limbaugh (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 15:06 (five years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

I've been thinking (for no particular reason) about lame 70s album titles recently and just found this thread.

For sheer crassness, I can't help thinking of "Fanx Ta Ra" by Sad Cafe:

Daniel Giraffe, Sunday, 22 January 2012 07:18 (five years ago) Permalink

xp Oh I get it... "Which one's Willie." Which means no one in the band was named Willie. Quite a hoot/hollar combo.

billstevejim, Sunday, 22 January 2012 08:33 (five years ago) Permalink

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

This definitely exists and is not a bootleg. It's a compilation but at least the title can't be blamed on the band, the liner notes say the label came up with it. Although they did apparently play gigs with a backdrop with "PRETENTIOUS" in big letters above them.

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 22 January 2012 12:42 (five years ago) Permalink

greg kihn to thread, surely

scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Sunday, 22 January 2012 14:22 (five years ago) Permalink

(i realize it's hardly in the true caravan spirit, but 1978's "next of kihn" would have been a prime offender even if he hadn't gone back to the well a dozen times)

scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Sunday, 22 January 2012 14:25 (five years ago) Permalink

Doobie Brothers - What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 22 January 2012 16:39 (five years ago) Permalink

Surely we can lock thread now

Οὖτις, Sunday, 22 January 2017 02:58 (one month ago) Permalink

"I may be his son, but I don't dance!"

That should be his album title

Don't you dare lock this thread don't take this away from me

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Sunday, 22 January 2017 15:06 (one month ago) Permalink

multiple xps, but 70s Linda Ronstadt, SWOON

Dysphagia Nutrition Solutions (stevie), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 12:21 (one month ago) Permalink

yah no doubt she was a total babe

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 14:52 (one month ago) Permalink

otm

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 25 January 2017 22:48 (one month ago) Permalink

Neil Harrison, "All Dressed Up And Nowhere To Go"

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Sunday, 29 January 2017 22:05 (one month ago) Permalink

Honorable mention for The Guess Who, Artificial Paradise (1973), which doesn't have much of its own title to do, but which in its elaborate fake sweepstakes packaging gestures towards a The Who Sell Out kind of deal - but without designs on a Concept audible on the record. Ho ho, see, we're just hacks in it for a quick buck - no art found here, just some blues-rock jams and unconvincing genre exercises!

stein beck ii: the wrath of grapes (Doctor Casino), Monday, 30 January 2017 00:20 (one month ago) Permalink

This is a brand new album by a band featuring ex-Thin Lizzy dudes.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Saturday, 4 February 2017 01:31 (three weeks ago) Permalink

That belongs more to the "yawnsomely literal cover art" thread.

Tuomas, Saturday, 4 February 2017 11:46 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Has this one been done yet? Saffron Summerfield, "Fancy Meeting You Here!" (1976)

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 23:45 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Sandy Davis, "Inside Every Fat Man" (1974)

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 00:24 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wtf is going on on that sleeve?

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 00:25 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I think the main character is supposed to be The Duchess's cook from Alice in Wonderland

Number None, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 00:34 (two weeks ago) Permalink

omg what a disaster

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 06:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Tinsley Ellis - Fanning The Flames (1989)

the_ecuador_three, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 13:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Not sure we've seen "I'm Just A Rock'n'Roll Singer" by Lucifer's Friend yet:

(I have half an idea this may be disqualified on grounds of irony but OMG.)

Tim, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 17:28 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Disappointed to find this beauty does not, in fact, exist:

It appears to be part of the packaging for this only slightly less horrible titles thread-worthy effort, "Sold For Prevention of Disease Only" by Wilderness Road:

Tim, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 17:41 (two weeks ago) Permalink

... making its third appearance on this thread!

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 17:43 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Easily done though.

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 17:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

BTW, speaking of not-quite-titles, I couldn't resist and finally bought that Valdy album Valdy and the Hometown Band which appears from the cover to be an album by Valdy and the Hometown Band entitled Folksinger Deluxe With A Side Of Fries. It's pleasant! Pleasantly inessential even. Very very Lightfoot-esque, or Jimmy Buffett in "Come Monday" mode. If you like those things, this will help you pass forty minutes nicely and the cover is better than anything either of those acts ever came up with.

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 17:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Has anyone else had the experience of discovering some no-name 70s band in the cheapie bin and getting excited because they seem like the kind of act that surely would have at least one of these titles, and then suffering a small disappointment when it becomes clear that they don't? Today's downer: Syracuse-based Jukin' Bone, who surely would have gotten around to it had their recording career lasted a little longer.

OTOH, Googling them led me to some of their home-town peers, whose one album is at least a step in the direction of one of these titles:

I grew up there and remember so much of this garbage - Rochester favorites Duke Jupiter had a couple groaners too:

Jukin' Bone lead singer Jumpin' Joe Whiting never stopped making this stuff: these are from 2003 and 2006 (!):

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 19:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i swear i did not intentionally juxtapose those two cd covers in a way that makes it look like joe whiting has a gigantic world-sized ass and tiny little baby legs, but i regret nothing

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 19:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

ahahaha

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 19:26 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I fully believe.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 19:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

PURE, BEAUTIFUL OIL (Sparkle Motion), Thursday, 9 February 2017 01:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Maybe this doesn't fit cos it gave me thee actual lols but

Mike Harding - Old Four Eyes Is Back

Benylin Ascent (NickB), Thursday, 9 February 2017 06:59 (two weeks ago) Permalink

oops

Benylin Ascent (NickB), Thursday, 9 February 2017 07:00 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Rochdale Cowboy looking pretty contemporary there.

mahb, Thursday, 9 February 2017 10:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Has this one been done yet? Saffron Summerfield, "Fancy Meeting You Here!" (1976)

yep: can't remember if i used that cover or the slightly more awkwardly arranged alternative that drops the !

i'm just going to assume that this title/cover is a play on "say when"

no lime tangier, Thursday, 9 February 2017 10:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

willem, Thursday, 9 February 2017 15:10 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Seems like people have forgotten about this other thread, several recent posts fit better there than here:

Album Covers featuring Yawnsomely Literal Cover Art in regards to said album's title.

Tuomas, Thursday, 9 February 2017 16:40 (two weeks ago) Permalink

There's a lot of overlap - yawnsome literalness reflects the same basic impulses that lay behind the current thread's canonical entries.

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 9 February 2017 18:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

only major difference is this one is restricted to the 70s afaict

Οὖτις, Thursday, 9 February 2017 18:13 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Can't find a decent sized pic of this cover I saw in the $2 bin this weekend, but could find an ad for it--go figure

New Riders of The Purple Sage: Who Are Those Guys?

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 13 February 2017 18:32 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Hey Tuomas contribute or quit being a bummer

blonde redheads have more fun (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 13 February 2017 23:18 (two weeks ago) Permalink

hilton felton - a man for all reasons

a but (brimstead), Thursday, 16 February 2017 04:19 (one week ago) Permalink

a but (brimstead), Thursday, 16 February 2017 04:19 (one week ago) Permalink

you could put his name on any album would make for a good album cover

niels, Thursday, 16 February 2017 13:21 (one week ago) Permalink

Nicky Hopkins, Ry Cooder, Mick Jagger, Bill Wyman, and Charlie Watts - Jamming With Edward! (1972)

Ry Cooder - Paradise and Lunch (1974)

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 February 2017 01:47 (one week ago) Permalink

i bought that Ry Cooder album cos the cover looked weird and interesting. it is neither of those.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 17 February 2017 02:04 (one week ago) Permalink

In the liner notes to the reissue of Silk Degrees, Boz Scaggs revealed he wished Paradise & Lunch had been one of his album titles.

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 17 February 2017 02:15 (one week ago) Permalink

Ian Gillan Band: Clear Air Turbulance

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 17 February 2017 17:08 (one week ago) Permalink

Might have already been posted, but he's just died so here is Peter Skellern, "Holding My Own"...

Eats like Elvis, shits like De Niro (Tom D.), Friday, 17 February 2017 17:50 (one week ago) Permalink

haha wow

tylerw, Friday, 17 February 2017 17:51 (one week ago) Permalink

That IGB cover is dope.

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Friday, 17 February 2017 18:05 (one week ago) Permalink

i'm certain this has been posted but still, in the spirit of the thread

global tetrahedron, Saturday, 18 February 2017 22:46 (one week ago) Permalink

Well, yeah (it's been posted). Frey doing something better suited to another Eagle (Walsh).

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 19 February 2017 06:41 (one week ago) Permalink

That one still floors me with how cheap it looks... the lighting, the lettering... this is a solo debut from one of the leads of a mega-selling act and looks like Donnie Iris running out his contract.

tales of a scorched-earth nothing (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 19 February 2017 13:55 (one week ago) Permalink


this one been posted yet?

tylerw, Monday, 27 February 2017 19:59 (yesterday) Permalink

this is a solo debut from one of the leads of a mega-selling act and looks like Donnie Iris running out his contract.

That was kind of the point, Frey was supposed to be relaunching his career as the one Eagle ready for the 80s (see: The Long Run gatefold), and that's how they thought to present him.

I've mentioned this before, but one of the more interesting tales in Marc Eliot's Eagles book regards the unique problem Asylum faced when launching Henley's solo career: Here they had the voice behind several of the biggest hits of the seventies whose own name and face wasn't that familiar to the listenership because of the way the band didn't court the press in their heyday. Suddenly they were faced with this huge charisma-vacuum of a drummer turned leading man whom they were gonna have to sell to MTV.

They made him take dancing lessons.

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 27 February 2017 20:21 (yesterday) Permalink


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