Horrible 70s album titles like I've Got My Own Album To Do

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REO Speedwagon - You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't Tuna Fish or whatever the fuck that one is called
Eddie Harris - That Is Why You're Overweight

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Saturday, 1 October 2011 03:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

those are both pretty bitchin'. try harder.

wasabi pea-sized masculinity (latebloomer), Saturday, 1 October 2011 03:44 (2 years ago) Permalink

Joe Walsh to thread.

Pleasant Plains, Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

Elvin Bishop: Hometown Boy Makes Good!

The Man With The Flavored Toothpick (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:35 (2 years ago) Permalink

the Harris title makes sense in context with the album art, the woman's hand holding a bon-bon or truffle or whatever

but why single out the 70's? i mean there aren't many worse album titles than say 'Dongs of Sevotion' or 'Sometimes I Wish We Were an Eagle'

Stormy Davis, Saturday, 1 October 2011 04:55 (2 years ago) Permalink

oh man prog rock totally wins this thread

Yes - Tormato
Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It
Caravan - If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Do It All Over You

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:32 (2 years ago) Permalink

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:38 (2 years ago) Permalink

Caravan also wins for 'For Girls Who Go Plump in the Night'!

Stormy Davis, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

ha ha, yes!

Blind Dog at St. Dunstans was a pretty dreadful album title too

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 05:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

OK, time to defend prog rock :

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other is a quote from artist John Minton - "We're all awash in a sea of blood, and the least we can do is wave to each other", which isn't very quirky at all.

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

Caravan - yes awful, although I quite like the Blind Dog At St Dunstans title.

|III|||II|||I|I||| (Matt #2), Saturday, 1 October 2011 08:17 (2 years ago) Permalink

Ha yeah Joe Walsh's 'But Seriously Folks' was what immediately sprung to mind when I saw the thread title (xposts). Also:

Lowell George - Thanks, I'll Eat it Here

Gavin, Leeds, Saturday, 1 October 2011 08:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

haha i was JUST about to post the Lowell George title

some dude, Saturday, 1 October 2011 11:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

Frampton - I'm In You

Turrican, Saturday, 1 October 2011 11:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

It's a compilation, isn't it?

Not the 70s but it's hard to beat that run of three albums from Phil Collins: "Hello, I Must Be Going!", "No Jacket Required", "...But Seriously" ... which rips off Joe Walsh too!

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:10 (2 years ago) Permalink

Oh, that Phil Collins and his waging war on restaurants that don't let him in!

Turrican, Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:17 (2 years ago) Permalink

Think I'd refuse to pay the bill in any restaurant that let Phil Collins in

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

I love puns MORE than the next man but...

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:23 (2 years ago) Permalink

Hate "Crisis? What Crisis?" by Supertramp

Juice Should Be Sterliized (Tom D.), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:26 (2 years ago) Permalink

Good lord, I never realized "Whale Meat" was a pun, I just thought it was a stupid album title.

Prostetnic Vogon Limbaugh (Dan Peterson), Saturday, 1 October 2011 12:36 (2 years ago) Permalink

Van der Graaf Generator - The Least We Can Do Is Wave to Each Other is a quote from artist John Minton - "We're all awash in a sea of blood, and the least we can do is wave to each other", which isn't very quirky at all.

We're All Awash in a Sea of Blood would have been a way better album title

geeta, Saturday, 1 October 2011 18:27 (2 years ago) Permalink

Kansas were on a roll, as Leftoverture is some painful titling, and then came Point of Know Return.

Mike Love's Jagger (Spectrist), Saturday, 1 October 2011 18:45 (2 years ago) Permalink

It is obviously a great album, but I have always hated the title 'Hall of the Mountain Grill'

master musicians of jamiroquai (NickB), Saturday, 1 October 2011 20:07 (2 years ago) Permalink

Budgie - if I were brittania I'd waive the rules

blank, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:31 (2 years ago) Permalink

The Lowell George one is especially bad because it was also what he wanted the first Little Feat album to be called. Amazing that he held onto it for SO LONG.

cwkiii, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:37 (2 years ago) Permalink

Sabbath's Technical Ecstacy is pretty ridiculous, especially considering the decidedly non-technical content.

Nate Carson, Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:41 (2 years ago) Permalink

per metal injection (Eazy), Saturday, 1 October 2011 21:46 (2 years ago) Permalink

Every song on D.I. Go Pop is like a horrible 70s album title.

GoshLovely, Saturday, 1 October 2011 23:36 (2 years ago) Permalink

Stretchin' Out in Bootsy's Rubber Band
Ahh... The Name Is Bootsy, Baby!
Bootsy? Player of the Year
This Boot is Made for Fonk-N

shake it, shake it, sugary pee (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:00 (2 years ago) Permalink

This might be the third time in the last month I've posted this:

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:01 (2 years ago) Permalink

jer.fairall, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

jer.fairall, Sunday, 2 October 2011 00:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

Uriah Heep - The Magician's Birthday

geeta, Sunday, 2 October 2011 03:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

I'd think Budgie's "If I Were Brittania I'd Waive the Rules" kind of fits here.

earlnash, Sunday, 2 October 2011 03:59 (2 years ago) Permalink

Fred Wesley & The Horny Horns - Say Blow By Blow Backwards
even Joe Walsh gets a headache thinking bout that one

Paul, Sunday, 2 October 2011 04:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

Jim Capaldi's "Whale Meat Again" was a protest song about the killing of Whales. (upthread)

Mark G, Monday, 3 October 2011 08:49 (2 years ago) Permalink

Makes it worse.

Naive Teen Idol, Monday, 3 October 2011 13:32 (2 years ago) Permalink

think there's a faces best-of, maybe released after the 70s but recalling its syntactic constructions, good little boys ... when they're asleep

honest weights, square dealings (schlump), Monday, 3 October 2011 13:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

This may be the best/worst:

per metal injection (Eazy), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:04 (2 years ago) Permalink

Faces - A Nod Is As Good As A Wink...To A Blind Horse

1971, so this may be the template

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

Ringo Starr - Ringo's Rotogravure

OK this isn't verbose but it's one of those albums I used to stare at as a record-store clerk, thinking 'what a dumb title'

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:20 (2 years ago) Permalink

see also Ringo The 4th - his sixth album

dismissible objects one fucks with (m coleman), Monday, 10 October 2011 14:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

Is "Sometimes I Wish we were an Eagle" a pun?

She Got the Shakes, Monday, 10 October 2011 14:51 (2 years ago) Permalink

IMO "Too Old To Rock'n'Roll, Too Young To Die" is a great title. Sums up pretty well the thoughts of the first generation who grew up with rock music, and how they dealt with not being teenagers anymore.

Hongroe (Geir Hongro), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 13:21 (2 years ago) Permalink

Man - Do You Like It here Now, Are you Settling In? and (although I kinda like this one) 2 Oz. of Plastic With A Hole In The Middle.

Prostetnic Vogon Limbaugh (Dan Peterson), Tuesday, 11 October 2011 15:06 (2 years ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

I've been thinking (for no particular reason) about lame 70s album titles recently and just found this thread.

For sheer crassness, I can't help thinking of "Fanx Ta Ra" by Sad Cafe:

Daniel Giraffe, Sunday, 22 January 2012 07:18 (2 years ago) Permalink

xp Oh I get it... "Which one's Willie." Which means no one in the band was named Willie. Quite a hoot/hollar combo.

billstevejim, Sunday, 22 January 2012 08:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

Gentle Giant - Pretentious - For the Sake of It. Never heard of this, probably a bootleg if it exists.

This definitely exists and is not a bootleg. It's a compilation but at least the title can't be blamed on the band, the liner notes say the label came up with it. Although they did apparently play gigs with a backdrop with "PRETENTIOUS" in big letters above them.

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo), Sunday, 22 January 2012 12:42 (2 years ago) Permalink

greg kihn to thread, surely

scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Sunday, 22 January 2012 14:22 (2 years ago) Permalink

(i realize it's hardly in the true caravan spirit, but 1978's "next of kihn" would have been a prime offender even if he hadn't gone back to the well a dozen times)

scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Sunday, 22 January 2012 14:25 (2 years ago) Permalink

Doobie Brothers - What Were Once Vices Are Now Habits

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 22 January 2012 16:39 (2 years ago) Permalink

Why not just call your record "Barely Give A Fuck Anymore"

Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 16:58 (2 months ago) Permalink

ringo'd used it already iirc

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 17:31 (2 months ago) Permalink

Here I Am With All My Money, Also Fuck You

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 18:51 (2 months ago) Permalink

brimstead, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:05 (2 months ago) Permalink

That's not even proper colloquial grammar

Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:09 (2 months ago) Permalink

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:09 (2 months ago) Permalink

My Name is Coco Montoya, Ya Think i'd know better, prepare to die

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 19:58 (2 months ago) Permalink

easy lols, but i lolled

Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 24 June 2014 21:54 (2 months ago) Permalink

I'm Not Left-Handed (My Guitar Is Just Upside-Down)

Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 22:12 (2 months ago) Permalink

sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 22:16 (2 months ago) Permalink

Head East, Flat as a Pancake

how's life, Monday, 30 June 2014 16:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

Euro version:

heavy on their trademark ballads (Eazy), Monday, 30 June 2014 16:31 (1 month ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Doctor Casino, Monday, 4 August 2014 16:47 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

dude on the left rules

sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 4 August 2014 18:59 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

They used the same background as:

austinato (Austin), Monday, 4 August 2014 20:18 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Sorry, that should be:

austinato (Austin), Monday, 4 August 2014 20:19 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Was kinda thinking, after the Joan upthread, that it'd be cool to assemble a record collection entirely of 70s albums where the artist is in front of a blue sky background. Four hundred copies of Leo Sayer's Endless Flight, mysteriously available in every thrift store box in the lower forty-eight states, would line the walls, floors and ceiling, creating weird perspective effects where it looks like Leo, looking like a poor man's Richard Simmons, is jumping over everything else you own:

Doctor Casino, Monday, 4 August 2014 20:35 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Alternately, the idea may be that they've let Leo be sucked out of the back of a plane, Air Force One style. Not such an endless flight, buddy!

Doctor Casino, Monday, 4 August 2014 20:37 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

"Endless Flight" should be a picture of him looking at his watch on a commercial airplane

'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 20:52 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Passenger next to him is either (a) a buxom, eyelash-batting rocker babe, with Sayer mugging wild-eyed ("can you believe my luck, with this flight being endless and all?") or (b) a yakking grandma, shoving unwanted family photo album into Leo's lap (with other distractions surrounding: shrieking baby, record execs, cigar-smoking mustachioed old money type, etc). However, if photo is really cheap, everyone can just be quietly perusing an in-flight magazine.

Doctor Casino, Monday, 4 August 2014 21:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

I feel like there might also be a bell-shaped tourist in an xxxl Hawaiian shirt, his gut spilling over the armrest onto Leo

'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Monday, 4 August 2014 23:17 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

...with an implausibly large sandwich, also spilling its guts.

Doctor Casino, Monday, 4 August 2014 23:26 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Was kinda thinking, after the Joan upthread, that it'd be cool to assemble a record collection entirely of 70s albums where the artist is in front of a blue sky background.

It's like the record company bussed all these artists to the mall have their pictures taken in front of that backdrop.

Now you're messing with a (President Keyes), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 00:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

unregistered, Monday, 11 August 2014 00:17 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

unregistered, Monday, 11 August 2014 00:19 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

that's a classic of this form

ruffalo soldier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 14:43 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

To Whom Who?

'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 14:54 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

The track titles spell out 'music always brings goodness to us all, p.s. unless one has some other motive for its use.'

sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 13 August 2014 14:57 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

mahb, Monday, 18 August 2014 11:07 (1 week ago) Permalink

Got so close to "Cherry I'm Lloyd!"

Actually would be cool if the album title was "All You Have Is Your Soul" and it was a split release by Cher Lloyd and Sorry I'm Late...

Doctor Casino, Monday, 18 August 2014 13:11 (1 week ago) Permalink

I feel like the most horrible '70s-style album title in semi-recent memory is Modest Mouse's Good News For People Who Love Bad News

some dude, Tuesday, 19 August 2014 23:18 (1 week ago) Permalink

i always felt like this title, album art, everthing was something maybe aerosmith had had laying around for 30 years

ruffalo soldier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 20 August 2014 14:35 (1 week ago) Permalink

Surprised this hasn't come up yet.

Pheeel, Thursday, 21 August 2014 08:07 (1 week ago) Permalink

oh ericpaws

SEEMS TO ME (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 August 2014 15:42 (1 week ago) Permalink

Anticipating McCartney's "I Used To Be Gregor Samsa".

a lot of really bad records changed my life (staggerlee), Thursday, 21 August 2014 23:25 (1 week ago) Permalink

soref, Sunday, 24 August 2014 00:48 (4 days ago) Permalink

soref, Sunday, 24 August 2014 00:49 (4 days ago) Permalink

soref, Sunday, 24 August 2014 00:49 (4 days ago) Permalink

good ones! don't know that guy

ruffalo soldier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 25 August 2014 19:50 (3 days ago) Permalink

I only realised after posting those that The Toast Of Christmas Past was released in 2013! Richard Digance, keeping the horrible 70s album title flame burning

soref, Monday, 25 August 2014 20:23 (3 days ago) Permalink

why did Leo Sayer have a career? I have never understood this

Οὖτις, Monday, 25 August 2014 20:24 (3 days ago) Permalink

Well, of course, he could dance.

Doctor Casino, Monday, 25 August 2014 20:36 (3 days ago) Permalink

Obligatory...

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 25 August 2014 20:56 (3 days ago) Permalink

Can't believe that no-one ever used it before (at least afaict), so I think if I ever made an album in the 70s, i would horribly title it Hot Dogs In Di's Car. Need to think about which terrible visual pun to go with for the cover art though.

john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 28 August 2014 13:00 (2 hours ago) Permalink

Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 28 August 2014 13:04 (2 hours ago) Permalink

excellent! they will also appear next to a ww2 plane on the follow up record, Never Say Di

john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 28 August 2014 13:16 (2 hours ago) Permalink

FYI Macedonia (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 August 2014 13:38 (1 hour ago) Permalink

ellis? who the fuck is ellis?

john wahey (NickB), Thursday, 28 August 2014 13:43 (1 hour ago) Permalink

Steve, of Love Affair

FYI Macedonia (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 August 2014 13:45 (1 hour ago) Permalink

FYI Macedonia (Tom D.), Thursday, 28 August 2014 14:10 (1 hour ago) Permalink


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