Worst band to have headlined the Glastonbury Festival in the last 20 years

The idea of Carter headlining Glastonbury is still preposterous but I'm not sure they're worse than The Levellers/Kings of Leon/Skunk Anansie/Stereophonics.

― Vulvuzela (Matt DC), Monday, 21 June 2010 17:38 (1 minute ago)

Oh man.

― ilxor has truly been got at and become an ILXor (ilxor), Monday, 21 June 2010 17:38 (1 minute ago)

I somehow managed to set the other poll to expire in two years' time.

Impossible to narrow down further:

The Black Crowes (1993)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (1993)
Manic Street Preachers (1999)
Skunk Anansie (1999)
Stereophonics (2002)

Virtually everyone from 1990 to 94, except the Mondays and The Cure, is a total "how the fuck did they get there?" pick, but I suppose the festival was much smaller.

O'Connor, Costello, Gabriel all not really "how the fuck...?" picks.

Imagining a Venn diagram in which "Really? They headlined?" (Christy Moore, Shakespears Sister) intersects with "actively horrible" (Black Crowes, Red Hot Chili Peppers). I think Skunk Anansie would have to take it.

Black Crowes are right in the centre of that Venn diagram for me. I had no idea they were so popular.

Kneejerk instinct is to pick the wretched primal scream, but then I remembered watching that chem bros set of TV, and my god it was DEADLY. I swear I saw people in the audience shots yawning and dancing at the same time.

Primal Scream were really not big enough to headline in 1998. I remember they pulled pretty much the smallest crowd I have ever seen for a headliner. Admittedly it was shitting it down with rain and the first 20mins of their set was all the slowest, darkest material from Vanishing Point, and I don't think there were many people interested in continuing to brave the torrent after that.

Deadly? That's nuts. The Chems played to the biggest Pyramid Stage crowd ever, that being the last year before the fence went up so the crush was ridiculous. I'm sure some people were yawning but it was packed at least half the way up the hill.

I hope The Levellers walk away with this one.

Seahorses never headlined? Shame.

Sterophonics

I picked rod stewart. What the fuck is a skunk anansie?

I remember 1994 being this massive transitional year - main stage hopelessly behind the times (even the Levellers were 2 years past their peak) but the Other Stage was phenomenal - Orbital, Bjork, Beastie Boys, Manics. Sunday alone had Oasis, Pulp, Radiohead, Blur and Spiritualized.

2002 had the most dreadful uninspired headliners ever. I can barely remember anything about that festival and not in a good way. I remember enjoying QOTSA and Orbital and, erm, Brazil winning the World Cup on the big screen but nothing apart from that. I'm sure it must have been better than I remember.

Seriously guys, nothing is worse than the Levellers.

Not even Skunk Anansie or Travis?

or Stereophonics, for that matter?

They are not filthy hippies.

not, but they are Stereophonics

Stereophonics have that combination of the worst music plus the worst fans (see also Oasis). The Levellers probably had that as well but hating on filthy hippies/Levellers fans is like hating on the festival itself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwN2uOFcpHg

never forget

Seahorses never headlined? Shame.

― HI DERE, Monday, June 21, 2010 2:00 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol

Deadly? That's nuts
well it bored the piss out of me, sorry.

They are not filthy hippies.

― ô_o (Nicole),

Unarguably true!

Matt and Dan make some compelling arguments in favor of the Stereophonics. And I do remember the one one roadtrip I took with my sister where she played one of the Stereophonics albums.

I should have thrown her out of my car.

Seahorses never headlined? Shame.

I don't think they were ever allowed back after this.

It's Skunk Anansie, though Muse make the worst music

^^^ Well worth watching for how hilariously inept it is. (xpost)

hahahaha Matt

Muse make the worst music

They were also one of Stephenie Meyer's sources of inspiration for writing Twilight, thus making them one of the most evil bands to have ever existed.

Muse + Mormonism = Twilight?

brrrr

Actually lolling at the out-of-tune vocals on Love Is the Law. That's the death throes of Britpop right there.

You either have to laugh or cry at that one.

Started off laughing, ended up crying during the guitar solo. What a fucking abomination that band were.

jeez. this is why i hate glastonbury and just have to go o_0 at people getting excited about it. especially having just returned from sónar which is a million times better in every conceivable way, why would you ever choose glastonbury over it?

also skunk anansie are soooooo not the worst band on that list, though the vast majority fit somewhere between "bad" and "execrable".

Stereophonics (2002)
Rod Stewart (2002)

for a same-year double whammy that will take some beating.

prob voting oasis.

Stereophonics (2002)
Rod Stewart (2002)

for a same-year double whammy that will take some beating.

*cough*

The Black Crowes (1993)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (1993)

leaning kings of leon or stereophonics

Red Hots in 1993 still were not terrible

yeah that's an insult to rhcp

Gotta be Black Crowes.

Got to be The Levellers.

Can I just say - I saw that Black Crowes headline set and they were great! I wasn't on drugs or anything. They totally won me over.

I don't think I've ever heard Ash despite seeing their name about a bazillion times

Oh you should hear Girl From Mars

I've never heard Arctic Monkeys or Kings Of Leon

I saw that Black Crowes headline set and they were great! I wasn't on drugs or anything.

The first step is admitting you have a problem...

oh I've always had a problem

I mean, okay, I had been on drugs for four days prior to that. But they were awesome

i would file all of these under ACTIVELY AWFUL AND SHOULD NOT BE INVITED TO FESTIVALS IN ANY CAPACITY APART FROM MAYBE TOILET CLEANERS:

Happy Mondays (1990)
Carter USM (1992)
The Black Crowes (1993)
Red Hot Chili Peppers (1993)
The Levellers (1994)
Oasis (1995, 2004)
Pulp (1995, 1998)
Radiohead (1997, 2003)
Ash (1997)
Primal Scream (1998)
Blur (1998, 2009)
REM (1999, 2003)
Manic Street Preachers (1999)
Travis (2000)
David Bowie (2000)
Coldplay (2002, 2005)
Stereophonics (2002)
Rod Stewart (2002)
Moby (2003)
Paul McCartney (2004)
Muse (2004, 2010)
Arctic Monkeys (2007)
The Killers (2007)
The Who (2007)
Kings of Leon (2008)
The Verve (2008)
Neil Young (2009)
Bruce Springsteen (2009)
Gorillaz (2010)

Ironically their debut single was called "All I Want To Do is Rock"

even at that stage they were desperately toning it down - live the song had been All I Want To Do Is Fuck

i don't get what people have against skunk anansie.

whiney is just "hugging it out" and "keeping it posi"

Can I place 800,000 votes for Muse on behalf of everyone who forgot to vote thanks

oh, and nothing wrong with minidiscs btw

Even own "Loveless" on prerec.

Funny story someone told me over the weekend. Siobhan Fahey's at a party a few years ago and meets Michael Eavis. She says "Thanks for letting us headline in 92, we had a fantastic time." He looks at her uncertainly and says, "No I don't think so. What band were you in?" "Shakespear's Sister." Eavis shakes his head: "No, I think you must be mistaken. You never headlined Glastonbury." Siobhan insists they did. Eavis wracks his brain and asks who else was on the bill. Siobhan says Lou Reed was on before them. Eavis looks delighted and says, "There you go! Lou Reed must have headlined!" Finally Siobhan gives up and walks off. She can laugh about it now, apparently.

Was also reminded that Ash only headlined Sunday in 1997 because Steve Winwood pulled out. Steve Winwood?!?

Shakespears Sister headlining definitely seems bizarre now but they had some pretty big hits at the time. lol at that story...

Can't see anyone else as limp and dreary as Travis. At least Stereophonics occasionally give rocking a bit of a half-hearted go.

I actually saw that Travis headline set and it was quite sweet and enjoyable, have to say. I didn't want to see them either, but I was already there for some reason and the proximity of the cider bus and toilet facilities suddenly made it very doable. I'm not a fan but they kinda won me over a bit, I remember a cool cover of The Band's "The Weight" and all the usual singalong tunes they had at the time, it was awwwright with me... but Pyramid headline sets are always a bit like that, you usually stand at the back and watch the screens drinking cider and letting it wash all over you, other areas of the festival are more engaging, just the way it is...

Didn't see any of the Pyramid headliners this year and don't feel like I enjoyed the festival any less. Would have liked to see Stevie, avoided Muse by the plague and while I was vaguely curious about Gorillaz apparently they came very close to bombing.

There are 2 or 3 Skunk Anansie songs that are worth the careers of some of the bands lower down that list.

it's astonishing to me that gorillaz are still, like, a popular thing. their songs are all totally ropey and non-distinct, how and why do people give a shit about them?

racking my brains to try to remember the titles of the skunk anansie songs i didn't mind in the 90s. easily better than your happy mondays, primal screams, oasises, verves, arctic monkeys et al.

I think plenty of Gorillaz songs are way catchy. Not so much on their latest, though (which I still like).

it's astonishing to me that gorillaz are still, like, a popular thing. their songs are all totally ropey and non-distinct, how and why do people give a shit about them?

Lex otm. Plus who is interesteed in how many famous old hasbeens Damon Albarn has in his address book?

The entire concept just seems really smug, even by Albarn standards.

Muse in 2004 were a really good band. Much better than 80% of these.

I mean, let's be frank here, a 9 year old could have played guitar better than Lou Reed managed in his guest spot (xp)

Hmm, maybe more like 50%. The Cure, 3 votes?!

I don't much like big festival crowds, but my gf was baffingly insistent on seeing the headliners - Gorillaz ok (Dizzee *much* more enjoyable immediately before), but Albarn's arts-page curatorial good taste kills fun - of c it was great to see Mark E Smith reading lyrics from sheet of paper in front of a giant inappropriate crowd (and he sounded good), but the 'enjoy my excellent smorgasbord' attitude was joy-draining.

Muse were professional. I'd rather take out my bowels with a tent peg than see them again.

So I was reading about last minute headliners, and (even thought neither of them ended up playing) can anyone shed any light as to why the hell Steve Winwood was chosen to headline 1997 with Neil Young further down the bill? By any rationale that decision makes no sense at all.

Because you could sing his name to the tune of "Steamy Windows" by Tina Turner.

His management probably insisted on it.

Michael Eavis has said Steve Winwood is one of the artists he's most looking forward to seeing at this weekend's Glastonbury Festival

FYI Mumford & Sons would walk this poll if we were to rerun it.

i dunno i think it'll be forever difficult to look beyond stereophonics in any 'worst' poll

Re. Steve Winwood. You have to remember that (at least in those days) Glastonbury is not all about bands. And beyond that, it' not remotely focussed about the main stage. In the 80s and 90s the pyramid stage was pretty MOR which was fine because there's like 50 other stages with shit going on.

When Winwood took to the stage there was likely Stereolab raging away at the other (huge) stage, Billy Bragg in a big top and so on.

Last time I was there was '93 where iirc Ultramarine, Stereo MCs and The Orb packed way more in front of the second stage than watched the Black Crowes on the Main Stage. I realise the main stage/headliner thing is way more of a thing now.

My memory is that the 'headliner' as people have it nowadays, was some big act we didn't mind missing as we got the jump on the exiting population going home.

Jesus christ, that Top 3.

Everything - yeah I get that (I've been 14 times, including in the 90s when the atmosphere was *very* different). I suppose what I'm getting at is the specific decision to let Winwood headline over Neil Young, which doesn't make a great deal of sense even by old fart logic.

Glastonbury logic though.

Do you have a source for Winwood being originally billed above Young? I know Neil had to pull out because he cut his finger or something, but the only posters I can find online don't have Young's name on them.

Since TV coverage got bigger, the final band on the last night has become the 'headliner' in feel as well as tradition. Previously, the bigger draw would more likely be mid-evening.

Which would explain why Lou Reed was on before Shakeyspearsies. Because on the last night, tum ti tum etc.

Nah, the really big headlining slot (in both festival and media terms) is the Saturday night one.

But yeah, the mid-evening draw does make some sense. The first time I went, in 1998, Bob Dylan was below Sonic Youth (!!!) on the bill.

I remember Blur playing before Spiritualized in 1994 and it felt like they were the real headliners with Spiritualized the blissed-out coda. I would love to know if there was real logic behind the bills in those days or whether they were just disorganised.

Other stages would be disorganised, certainly.

Spiritualized were identifiably night-time music in a way that 1994-era Blur weren't maybe? Didn't Bjork offer to swap places with Orbital in 94 because she knew their set would be much cooler in the dark?

At the Phoenix Festival in 1995 Suede refused to play unless they went on after Bob Dylan. IIRC the official billing had Dylan top of the bill and Suede second but the actual running order was the other way round.

Arctic Monkeys, 0? really?

So, it would seem like Coldplay are headlining Glastonbury this year. AGAIN.

a popular MOR rock band high up the bill at Glastonbury? surely not?

Huh, I didn't know Glastonbury was still a thing.

Classic Snrub.

They're gonna go super conservative and Xfm this year, overcompensating for Kanye tanking it last year. The other headliners will end up being the Foo Fighters and Muse or something. Maybe Adele.

I saw Skunk Anansie live in 1995, halfway through the afternoon at the Heineken festival in Leeds and they were ferocious and thrilling. Then everything they did after that seemed like a massive letdown.

There was a multi-part documentary on TV about Glastonbury in1992 or 1993 and every episode ended with a clip of the Shakespeare's Sister set, so it's odd if Eavis doesn't remember it.

Lol at the Skunk Anansie discussion upthread where American people are shocked that a British band popular in Britain would headline a British festival, when they haven't even heard about it!

After their second album, Skunk Anansie were huge in Finland too. I saw them at a local festival in 1997, and even though the music isn't really to my taste, their performance was totally electrifying. I don't get why people here hate them so much?

think it's mainly cos they are shit

They're gonna go super conservative and Xfm this year, overcompensating for Kanye tanking it last year. The other headliners will end up being the Foo Fighters and Muse or something. Maybe Adele.

― Matt DC, Thursday, February 18, 2016 3:52 AM (19 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

No Foo Fighters (or Muse I think but not sure). Radiohead (pretty sure). Adele. Jeff Lynne's ELO before Coldplay on Sunday.

Muse & Adele I reckon

boring headliners, but more diversity in the full line up (compared to the 90s britpop and 00s landfill eras)

GLASTONBURY REVEAL FULL 2016 LINE-UP
http://crackmagazine.net/2016/03/glastonbury-reveal-full-2016-line-up/

zz top in 2016 does seem rather strange though...i remember than on the Whistle Test in 1985

LCD Soundsystem, Skepta and ZZ Top added to Glastonbury lineup
http://www.theguardian.com/music/2016/mar/29/glastonbury-festival-lineup-announcement-lcd-soundsystem-skepta-zz-top

The other headliners will end up being the Foo Fighters and Muse or something. Maybe Adele.

kind of impressively prescient, but also kind of not

zz top in 2016 does seem rather strange though...i remember than on the Whistle Test in 1985

a good band at glastonbury does seem a bit odd tbh

ZZ Top are exactly the sort of band they wheel out to play a Sunday afternoon slot, it's not remotely surprising.

This is among the worst set of Pyramid headliners I can remember, although 2002's hat-trick of Coldplay, Stereophonics and Rod Stewart takes some beating. The weekend will still rule.