F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One
Contributions from several ilxors. I'm definitely looking forward to this. Actually, this'll be the first time I actually read Idolator in a while.
― kshighway1, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:48 (10 months ago) Permalink
It should always be read. But I would say this.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:49 (10 months ago) Permalink
Anyway the revulsed reactions from various friends who had never encountered brokeNCYDE before ensured this started off with a bang.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:50 (10 months ago) Permalink
i think all songs on this list will be agreeably terrible
― burrhurt (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:50 (10 months ago) Permalink
it's sad cuz whiney is banned
he will be happy that you started this though, kshighway
― burrhurt (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:55 (10 months ago) Permalink
Whiney was banned? Wtf, we need him back immediately.
― kshighway1, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:57 (10 months ago) Permalink
I like Whiney fine, but he's been insufferably ornery lately. Some time away may do him good.
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:59 (10 months ago) Permalink
wow "Control Myself" is a really thoughtful choice
― een, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:02 (10 months ago) Permalink
kshighway, give him one of your other user names ; )
― velko, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:03 (10 months ago) Permalink
:-)
― kshighway1, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:07 (10 months ago) Permalink
i totally knew that was whiney about a sentence into that
― idyll of october 2009 (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:09 (10 months ago) Permalink
[Special thanks to Jordan Sargent and [NAME REDACTED] from [LOL FAMOUS WEB SITE] for helping us put together this list
lol wat
― idyll of october 2009 (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:10 (10 months ago) Permalink
where's dom passantino when you really need him?
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:11 (10 months ago) Permalink
was thinking the exact same thing
― idyll of october 2009 (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:13 (10 months ago) Permalink
"control myself"? this list is not off to a good start. :(
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:13 (10 months ago) Permalink
it was me & arianna huffington
― burrhurt (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:14 (10 months ago) Permalink
anyway, jeezus. i'd never actually heard brokencyde. now i know why i feel icky when i watch emotwink porn.
― my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:16 (10 months ago) Permalink
Hope Whiney comes back soon, but in the meantime I'm sure we'll all be following this.
― RIP Whiney G. Weingarten has been banned permanently. 51 suggest ba (kshighway1), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:18 (10 months ago) Permalink
ahahahahaha wat
― Mordy, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:21 (10 months ago) Permalink
I said I hope Whiney comes back soon, but in the meantime many of us will be reading whatever he writes for this Idolator series.
― RIP Whiney G. Weingarten has been banned permanently. 51 suggest ba (kshighway1), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:24 (10 months ago) Permalink
i think your crush on Whiney is cute.
― sarahel, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:26 (10 months ago) Permalink
― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 3:13 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark
^This... BrokeNCYDE OTM, though.
― one boob is free with one (daavid), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:29 (10 months ago) Permalink
hahaha i didn't know that whiney wrote for idolator
― call all destroyer, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 04:28 (10 months ago) Permalink
"control myself" is a great song, actually surprised it was deemed beyond the pale
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 08:59 (10 months ago) Permalink
any list that starts with brokenCYDE is gonna be a good one, for sure. A bold move immediately excluding 'My Humps', I'm pretty sure that we (okay, I) can only find it fun and funny now after years of being overexposed and acclimatised, forgetting how mindblowingly awful it first felt.
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 09:22 (10 months ago) Permalink
how many songs do brokenCYDE have?
― coz (webinar), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 09:49 (10 months ago) Permalink
Out of curiosity, did anyone here who likes "Control Myself" actually read the reasons *why* Maura didn't like the song?
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 12:19 (10 months ago) Permalink
Yeah, I just did -- her criticism might hold more water if the production was as boilerplate as the lyrics.
― M. Grissom/DeShields (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:10 (10 months ago) Permalink
she lickedoffher lipgloss
Okay I'm not gonna lie, I love this song but I do see why someone would not like it, given it's an oddly-muted club banger that is completely anonymous and personality-free coming from a couple of the biggest personalities in the music industry.
All I can really say is zuh-zuh-zuh-zuh-zuh
― the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:23 (10 months ago) Permalink
It's an 8.0. It could never be a 9.0 or a 9.5 or a 10.0. Though it could be a 6.5 or a 7.5. But it's better than a 6.0, definitely.
― sw00ds, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:27 (10 months ago) Permalink
I will admit that I was shocked to discover a few months ago that I had put it on my (108-track) Best of 2006 mix, but that's just because I'd completely forgotten about it.
― M. Grissom/DeShields (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:36 (10 months ago) Permalink
i'm glad Jordan helped w/ this, Whiney kept asking me for suggestions but i was like, sitting at home with a newborn baby, and did not have enough hate to spare
― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:45 (10 months ago) Permalink
the "Control Myself" blurb forgot to mention the 3 most pathetic things about the song:
1) that Fergie was their first choice for the hook and they got J.Lo after she said no2) that LL was purposely recycling his "Going Back To Cali" flow for old school points3) that the Clipse actually got all butthurt and accused LL of biting because they had their own song with the whole ancient "zuh-zuh-zuh" thing on it around the same time
― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:46 (10 months ago) Permalink
god i wish i could still comment on Idolator, some stupid error message keeps coming up no matter what browser i'm on for the past 6 months anytime i try to comment
― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:48 (10 months ago) Permalink
― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:45 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark
Why you hate the babby? :(
― Samuel (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:05 (10 months ago) Permalink
haha
― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:26 (10 months ago) Permalink
48 is up
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:13 (10 months ago) Permalink
― cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:16 (10 months ago) Permalink
We loved the Iraq war? Or The Moldy Peaches?
― Samuel (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (10 months ago) Permalink
#48 just made me a Whiney FAN 4 LYFE
― Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (10 months ago) Permalink
the Moldy Peaches were the equivalent of a seventh-grader from gifted class screeching “Cheese monkey!” at bullies until they were too sad and confused to give him the beating he so clearly deserved.
clearly this is whiny speaking from experience right?
― brrrmuda triangle (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:18 (10 months ago) Permalink
what the fuck is that song
also lol at the ad hominem attack
― the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:18 (10 months ago) Permalink
I am going to be so entertained at Dan's reactions to all these horrible songs yet to be unearthed.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:19 (10 months ago) Permalink
it's kind of nice to know that my wholly unfair prejudgment of The Moldy Peaches was absolutely 100% accurate
― the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:25 (10 months ago) Permalink
by pdfreeman at 2:22 pm
@Christopher R. Weingarten: Millionaires are the new Runaways, grandpa.
^Phil OTM
― Turbohongro (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:45 (10 months ago) Permalink
as tom ewing said on twitter, "who's got the crack?" is 47 places too low on this list. what a vile song.
― lex pretend, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:04 (10 months ago) Permalink
I'm hoping that Ashlee Simpson, The Goo Goo Dolls, and Smashmouth didn't make the Worst of the 00's list, since they're all listed on the barfing iPod.
― dabug, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:29 (10 months ago) Permalink
(Ashlee for not having any songs that are anywhere in the vicinity of the 50 worst of the decade, other two because any badness worth anything happened before the decade started.)
― dabug, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:31 (10 months ago) Permalink
*~~ashlee's wondrous~~*
― access flap (omar little), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:33 (10 months ago) Permalink
also cuz "all star" is a dope song
― k3vin k., Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:34 (10 months ago) Permalink
a little bummed that the top is an admittedly hellish cover rather while a true shitstorm Shady goes unacknowledged entirely. i'm not sold that hellish covers are a notable aspect of the 00s so much as pop in general (though youtube does make it easier to poop one out without really promoting it), and I'd hate for negligible artists to think they should focus on their originals (which I really think tend to be worse - sure adam duritz ripped us a big one of his own this decade) instead of inane takes on old chestnuts. I mean better they reiterate the canon instead of attempting to add new entries.
That said, this list was lolgastic, and I'm obviously grateful for something to blather about.
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:31 (8 months ago) Permalink
don't ask me what "lolgastic" means because i don't know
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:32 (8 months ago) Permalink
yeah, the one gripe i keep making about this list is that there are too many sullied 20th century songs, not enough terrible songs actually written in the last 10 years represented
― some dude, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:33 (8 months ago) Permalink
still, it's been a hell of a ride! especially this thread becoming ground zero to track the death of idolator.
― some dude, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:35 (8 months ago) Permalink
I will say this: the Counting Crows cover is always playing in my doctor's waiting room, so there is a lot of fear and dread I associate w/this song.
― ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:36 (8 months ago) Permalink
why did they let a hobo front their band? was it some sort of sponsership deal with shelter?
― SORRY ASS IMPRESSIONS (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:36 (8 months ago) Permalink
while a true shitstorm Shady goes unacknowledged entirely
"Ass Like That" was on the first draft of the list.
Da doing doing doyyyyyng
― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:38 (8 months ago) Permalink
if, unlike Alien Ant Farm, Smashmouth and most of the acts in that last entry, I can't necessarily pull out a Counting Crows original that's worse, it's because "Big Yellow Taxi" was a humongous piece of shit before they even got their paws on it.
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:39 (8 months ago) Permalink
this is the first version I ever heard
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:42 (8 months ago) Permalink
great final entry
― the finest of display name homies (s1ocki), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:43 (8 months ago) Permalink
lol wow i forgot the big skynyrd guitar solo in grant's version, wtf
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:45 (8 months ago) Permalink
whiney and maura (if she reads ilm), you are gods for this list and luckily you have 10 yrs to recover before the sequel.
― SORRY ASS IMPRESSIONS (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:47 (8 months ago) Permalink
The amount of writing we did total for this is the size of a 33 1/3 book
― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:48 (8 months ago) Permalink
i dunno what the legals would be, but you guys should look to get it published! just tack on a new top 50-100 albums list or something.
some scary shit from the song's wikipedia page:
In 1996 a "Big Yellow Taxi (Traffic Jam Mix)" peaked on the U.S. dance charts at #39 and was part of the Friends: Music from the TV Series soundtrack album (see Joni Mitchell#Singles and External links).
The song was also performed as part of the finale during the 1997 Lilith Fair tour with the Indigo Girls, Jewel, Sarah McLachlan and Meredith Brooks.
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:50 (8 months ago) Permalink
or worst 50-100 albums list, i mean
call it 33 and a turd
― the finest of display name homies (s1ocki), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:52 (8 months ago) Permalink
whiney, i literally clapped my hands while giggling to that entry. i think 'board-shorted' might be my new favorite term.
― And now my dick is where? Oh, this is too rich (the table is the table), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:55 (8 months ago) Permalink
― the finest of display name homies (s1ocki), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 8:52 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
^____________^
― deej, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:14 (8 months ago) Permalink
A serious thank-you to Whiney and Maura for all the work they put into this. I loved reading/listening to it.
― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:20 (8 months ago) Permalink
Yeah, it was a lot of fun to read. Thank you both.
― ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:47 (8 months ago) Permalink
Likewise!! It is great stuff.
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:49 (8 months ago) Permalink
I mean you knew that already. What I meant was that I loved it.
― Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:53 (8 months ago) Permalink
I will add my thanks. This was a fun read and a fun thread, too. I will miss this.
FWIW I never liked "Big Yellow Taxi" that much. Don't it always seem to go that most "political" pop music doesn't really ask the listener to take any responsibility for the situations they declaim?
(")They(") suck(s).
― Shh! It's NOT Me!, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:00 (8 months ago) Permalink
I will miss this.
esp since it signals the end of idolator as well.
― da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:11 (8 months ago) Permalink
You mean you don't want to read vapid blurbs about Jessica Simpson's ear candling?
― ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:13 (8 months ago) Permalink
I already miss Idolator a lot. I asked upthread where I could get writing of this calibre on a daily basis and nobody answered with anything that met this requirement. Personal blogs are cool and all but there are some things that are truly improved with more than one person involved.
also I will miss this thread, one of the few I haven't killed with my "charming" personality.
― Shh! It's NOT Me!, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:27 (8 months ago) Permalink
the new ID♥LATOR logo is hilarious in how it's like the polar opposite of nick denton's original gossip/snark/humiliation vision of 05
― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:31 (8 months ago) Permalink
(fuck you, Ned!)
Ah ya punk. :-D Nah, I'm currently on vacation and also slightly under the weather so I'm glad someone else stepped up, I'm only just now reading all this.
Echoing everyone's thanks for this whole thing.
― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:49 (8 months ago) Permalink
aw, you guys are so sweet
― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:51 (8 months ago) Permalink
whens the poll??? good job, whiney and maura dot com.
― bnw, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:52 (8 months ago) Permalink
You're the parking lot, motherfucker. You drove your shitty steamroller over something everyone loved so you could pander your sensitive pussyhound whine to people waiting in line at the Carl's Jr.
<3 <3 <3 x 1000
― that sex version of "blue thunder." (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:55 (8 months ago) Permalink
thx whiney and maura. i imagine this was like the musical version of sailing up the river in apocalypse now.
― jealous ones sb (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:57 (8 months ago) Permalink
thanks for following along all this time, everybody! i just reread this whole thread and it was like tripping back through the last eight weeks. which, whew.
― maura, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 17:15 (8 months ago) Permalink
I don't know, the original vision was pretty hilarious too.
― cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 17:47 (8 months ago) Permalink
― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 17:54 (8 months ago) Permalink
You're the parking lot, motherfucker. You drove your shitty steamroller over something everyone loved so you could pander your sensitive pussyhound whine to people waiting in line at the Carl's Jr.<3 <3 <3 x 1000
agreed. and i love joni mitchell, but "big yellow taxi" was always a little too cutesy for me.
― The Détourn of the Depressed (get bent), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:08 (8 months ago) Permalink
love it. thanks for everything you guys.
i think my personal favorite was blue october.
― kaygee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:33 (8 months ago) Permalink
can't find the Alan Partridge clip where he talks about 'Big Yellow Taxi' :(
― moron oil (Gukbe), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:36 (8 months ago) Permalink
I never even noticed this thread!reiterating my plea for a 2cd set from whiney
― If COMETS had horoscope they would have the SUN conjunct URANUS (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:47 (8 months ago) Permalink
Seriously it was an awesome and well-researched list but the abject shittiness of each entry crowded out any room for zingers.
― cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:45 (8 months ago) Permalink
I feel like there is no room for zingers right now, sure.
― ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:49 (8 months ago) Permalink
The list doesn't really have that problem, though.
― ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:50 (8 months ago) Permalink
A heh.
― cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:57 (8 months ago) Permalink
"Ass Like That" was on the first draft of the list.Da doing doing doyyyyyng― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
No "FACK"?
― Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 23 December 2009 02:22 (8 months ago) Permalink
still think that the chipmunk song is a little too good for this list
― tiger's wood (latebloomer), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 03:21 (8 months ago) Permalink
and for this world imo
― aun™ (s1ocki), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 03:26 (8 months ago) Permalink
ha!
― tiger's wood (latebloomer), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 03:34 (8 months ago) Permalink
so i have a question
did u guys actually actively research, finding bad songs that were new to you, or just organize the list from your collective traumatized memories?
― j/k and the fa™an (s1ocki), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 22:12 (8 months ago) Permalink
both!
― sunn o_O))) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 24 December 2009 03:03 (8 months ago) Permalink
ha jump rope sucks so bad
― forks©lovetofu (forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 December 2009 20:49 (8 months ago) Permalink