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F2K: Idolator Counts Down The 50 Worst Songs Of The ’00s, One By Ear-Splitting One

Contributions from several ilxors. I'm definitely looking forward to this. Actually, this'll be the first time I actually read Idolator in a while.

kshighway1, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

It should always be read. But I would say this.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

Anyway the revulsed reactions from various friends who had never encountered brokeNCYDE before ensured this started off with a bang.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:50 (seven years ago) Permalink

i think all songs on this list will be agreeably terrible

burrhurt (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:50 (seven years ago) Permalink

it's sad cuz whiney is banned

he will be happy that you started this though, kshighway

burrhurt (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:55 (seven years ago) Permalink

Whiney was banned? Wtf, we need him back immediately.

kshighway1, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

I like Whiney fine, but he's been insufferably ornery lately. Some time away may do him good.

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 02:59 (seven years ago) Permalink

wow "Control Myself" is a really thoughtful choice

een, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:02 (seven years ago) Permalink

kshighway, give him one of your other user names ; )

velko, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:03 (seven years ago) Permalink

:-)

kshighway1, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:07 (seven years ago) Permalink

i totally knew that was whiney about a sentence into that

idyll of october 2009 (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:09 (seven years ago) Permalink

[Special thanks to Jordan Sargent and [NAME REDACTED] from [LOL FAMOUS WEB SITE] for helping us put together this list

lol wat

idyll of october 2009 (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:10 (seven years ago) Permalink

where's dom passantino when you really need him?

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:11 (seven years ago) Permalink

was thinking the exact same thing

idyll of october 2009 (k3vin k.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:13 (seven years ago) Permalink

"control myself"? this list is not off to a good start. :(

Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:13 (seven years ago) Permalink

[Special thanks to Jordan Sargent and [NAME REDACTED] from [LOL FAMOUS WEB SITE] for helping us put together this list

it was me & arianna huffington

burrhurt (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:14 (seven years ago) Permalink

anyway, jeezus. i'd never actually heard brokencyde. now i know why i feel icky when i watch emotwink porn.

my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:16 (seven years ago) Permalink

Hope Whiney comes back soon, but in the meantime I'm sure we'll all be following this.

RIP Whiney G. Weingarten has been banned permanently. 51 suggest ba (kshighway1), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:18 (seven years ago) Permalink

ahahahahaha wat

Mordy, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

I said I hope Whiney comes back soon, but in the meantime many of us will be reading whatever he writes for this Idolator series.

RIP Whiney G. Weingarten has been banned permanently. 51 suggest ba (kshighway1), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:24 (seven years ago) Permalink

i think your crush on Whiney is cute.

sarahel, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:26 (seven years ago) Permalink

"control myself"? this list is not off to a good start. :(

― Mr. Snrub, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 3:13 AM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark

^This... BrokeNCYDE OTM, though.

one boob is free with one (daavid), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 03:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

hahaha i didn't know that whiney wrote for idolator

call all destroyer, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 04:28 (seven years ago) Permalink

"control myself" is a great song, actually surprised it was deemed beyond the pale

lex pretend, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 08:59 (seven years ago) Permalink

any list that starts with brokenCYDE is gonna be a good one, for sure. A bold move immediately excluding 'My Humps', I'm pretty sure that we (okay, I) can only find it fun and funny now after years of being overexposed and acclimatised, forgetting how mindblowingly awful it first felt.

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 09:22 (seven years ago) Permalink

how many songs do brokenCYDE have?

coz (webinar), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 09:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

Out of curiosity, did anyone here who likes "Control Myself" actually read the reasons *why* Maura didn't like the song?

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 12:19 (seven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, I just did -- her criticism might hold more water if the production was as boilerplate as the lyrics.

M. Grissom/DeShields (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:10 (seven years ago) Permalink

she licked
off
her lip
gloss

Okay I'm not gonna lie, I love this song but I do see why someone would not like it, given it's an oddly-muted club banger that is completely anonymous and personality-free coming from a couple of the biggest personalities in the music industry.

All I can really say is zuh-zuh-zuh-zuh-zuh

the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:23 (seven years ago) Permalink

It's an 8.0. It could never be a 9.0 or a 9.5 or a 10.0. Though it could be a 6.5 or a 7.5. But it's better than a 6.0, definitely.

sw00ds, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:27 (seven years ago) Permalink

I will admit that I was shocked to discover a few months ago that I had put it on my (108-track) Best of 2006 mix, but that's just because I'd completely forgotten about it.

M. Grissom/DeShields (jaymc), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:36 (seven years ago) Permalink

i'm glad Jordan helped w/ this, Whiney kept asking me for suggestions but i was like, sitting at home with a newborn baby, and did not have enough hate to spare

some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

the "Control Myself" blurb forgot to mention the 3 most pathetic things about the song:

1) that Fergie was their first choice for the hook and they got J.Lo after she said no
2) that LL was purposely recycling his "Going Back To Cali" flow for old school points
3) that the Clipse actually got all butthurt and accused LL of biting because they had their own song with the whole ancient "zuh-zuh-zuh" thing on it around the same time

some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

god i wish i could still comment on Idolator, some stupid error message keeps coming up no matter what browser i'm on for the past 6 months anytime i try to comment

some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 13:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

i'm glad Jordan helped w/ this, Whiney kept asking me for suggestions but i was like, sitting at home with a newborn baby, and did not have enough hate to spare

― some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:45 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark

Why you hate the babby? :(

Samuel (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:05 (seven years ago) Permalink

haha

some dude, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 14:26 (seven years ago) Permalink

48 is up

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:13 (seven years ago) Permalink

cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:16 (seven years ago) Permalink

We loved the Iraq war? Or The Moldy Peaches?

Samuel (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (seven years ago) Permalink

#48 just made me a Whiney FAN 4 LYFE

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:17 (seven years ago) Permalink

the Moldy Peaches were the equivalent of a seventh-grader from gifted class screeching “Cheese monkey!” at bullies until they were too sad and confused to give him the beating he so clearly deserved.

clearly this is whiny speaking from experience right?

brrrmuda triangle (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:18 (seven years ago) Permalink

what the fuck is that song

also lol at the ad hominem attack

the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:18 (seven years ago) Permalink

I am going to be so entertained at Dan's reactions to all these horrible songs yet to be unearthed.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:19 (seven years ago) Permalink

it's kind of nice to know that my wholly unfair prejudgment of The Moldy Peaches was absolutely 100% accurate

the blackest thing ever seen (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:25 (seven years ago) Permalink

by pdfreeman at 2:22 pm

@Christopher R. Weingarten: Millionaires are the new Runaways, grandpa.

^Phil OTM

Turbohongro (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 17:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

as tom ewing said on twitter, "who's got the crack?" is 47 places too low on this list. what a vile song.

lex pretend, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:04 (seven years ago) Permalink

I'm hoping that Ashlee Simpson, The Goo Goo Dolls, and Smashmouth didn't make the Worst of the 00's list, since they're all listed on the barfing iPod.

dabug, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

(Ashlee for not having any songs that are anywhere in the vicinity of the 50 worst of the decade, other two because any badness worth anything happened before the decade started.)

dabug, Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:31 (seven years ago) Permalink

*~~ashlee's wondrous~~*

access flap (omar little), Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:33 (seven years ago) Permalink

also cuz "all star" is a dope song

k3vin k., Tuesday, 20 October 2009 18:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

The amount of writing we did total for this is the size of a 33 1/3 book

wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:48 (seven years ago) Permalink

i dunno what the legals would be, but you guys should look to get it published! just tack on a new top 50-100 albums list or something.

some scary shit from the song's wikipedia page:

In 1996 a "Big Yellow Taxi (Traffic Jam Mix)" peaked on the U.S. dance charts at #39 and was part of the Friends: Music from the TV Series soundtrack album (see Joni Mitchell#Singles and External links).

The song was also performed as part of the finale during the 1997 Lilith Fair tour with the Indigo Girls, Jewel, Sarah McLachlan and Meredith Brooks.

da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:50 (seven years ago) Permalink

or worst 50-100 albums list, i mean

da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:50 (seven years ago) Permalink

call it 33 and a turd

the finest of display name homies (s1ocki), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:52 (seven years ago) Permalink

whiney, i literally clapped my hands while giggling to that entry. i think 'board-shorted' might be my new favorite term.

And now my dick is where? Oh, this is too rich (the table is the table), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 14:55 (seven years ago) Permalink

call it 33 and a turd

― the finest of display name homies (s1ocki), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 8:52 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^____________^

deej, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:14 (seven years ago) Permalink

A serious thank-you to Whiney and Maura for all the work they put into this. I loved reading/listening to it.

kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:20 (seven years ago) Permalink

Yeah, it was a lot of fun to read. Thank you both.

ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:47 (seven years ago) Permalink

Likewise!! It is great stuff.

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

I mean you knew that already. What I meant was that I loved it.

Tracer Hand, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 15:53 (seven years ago) Permalink

I will add my thanks. This was a fun read and a fun thread, too. I will miss this.

FWIW I never liked "Big Yellow Taxi" that much. Don't it always seem to go that most "political" pop music doesn't really ask the listener to take any responsibility for the situations they declaim?

(")They(") suck(s).

Shh! It's NOT Me!, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:00 (seven years ago) Permalink

I will miss this.

esp since it signals the end of idolator as well.

da croupier, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:11 (seven years ago) Permalink

You mean you don't want to read vapid blurbs about Jessica Simpson's ear candling?

ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:13 (seven years ago) Permalink

I already miss Idolator a lot. I asked upthread where I could get writing of this calibre on a daily basis and nobody answered with anything that met this requirement. Personal blogs are cool and all but there are some things that are truly improved with more than one person involved.

also I will miss this thread, one of the few I haven't killed with my "charming" personality.

Shh! It's NOT Me!, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:27 (seven years ago) Permalink

the new ID♥LATOR logo is hilarious in how it's like the polar opposite of nick denton's original gossip/snark/humiliation vision of 05

wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:31 (seven years ago) Permalink

(fuck you, Ned!)

Ah ya punk. :-D Nah, I'm currently on vacation and also slightly under the weather so I'm glad someone else stepped up, I'm only just now reading all this.

Echoing everyone's thanks for this whole thing.

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

aw, you guys are so sweet

wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:51 (seven years ago) Permalink

whens the poll??? good job, whiney and maura dot com.

bnw, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:52 (seven years ago) Permalink

You're the parking lot, motherfucker. You drove your shitty steamroller over something everyone loved so you could pander your sensitive pussyhound whine to people waiting in line at the Carl's Jr.

<3 <3 <3 x 1000

that sex version of "blue thunder." (Mr. Que), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:55 (seven years ago) Permalink

thx whiney and maura. i imagine this was like the musical version of sailing up the river in apocalypse now.

jealous ones sb (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 16:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

thanks for following along all this time, everybody! i just reread this whole thread and it was like tripping back through the last eight weeks. which, whew.

maura, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 17:15 (seven years ago) Permalink

I don't know, the original vision was pretty hilarious too.

cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 17:47 (seven years ago) Permalink

wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 17:54 (seven years ago) Permalink

You're the parking lot, motherfucker. You drove your shitty steamroller over something everyone loved so you could pander your sensitive pussyhound whine to people waiting in line at the Carl's Jr.

<3 <3 <3 x 1000

agreed. and i love joni mitchell, but "big yellow taxi" was always a little too cutesy for me.

The Détourn of the Depressed (get bent), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

love it. thanks for everything you guys.

i think my personal favorite was blue october.

kaygee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:33 (seven years ago) Permalink

can't find the Alan Partridge clip where he talks about 'Big Yellow Taxi' :(

moron oil (Gukbe), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:36 (seven years ago) Permalink

I never even noticed this thread!
reiterating my plea for a 2cd set from whiney

If COMETS had horoscope they would have the SUN conjunct URANUS (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 18:47 (seven years ago) Permalink

Seriously it was an awesome and well-researched list but the abject shittiness of each entry crowded out any room for zingers.

cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

I feel like there is no room for zingers right now, sure.

ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

The list doesn't really have that problem, though.

ô_o (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:50 (seven years ago) Permalink

A heh.

cee-oh-tee-tee, Tuesday, 22 December 2009 19:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

"Ass Like That" was on the first draft of the list.

Da doing doing doyyyyyng

― wordy fappinghood (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, December 22, 2009 2:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No "FACK"?

Mr. Snrub, Wednesday, 23 December 2009 02:22 (seven years ago) Permalink

still think that the chipmunk song is a little too good for this list

tiger's wood (latebloomer), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 03:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

and for this world imo

aun™ (s1ocki), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 03:26 (seven years ago) Permalink

ha!

tiger's wood (latebloomer), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 03:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

so i have a question

did u guys actually actively research, finding bad songs that were new to you, or just organize the list from your collective traumatized memories?

j/k and the fa™an (s1ocki), Wednesday, 23 December 2009 22:12 (seven years ago) Permalink

both!

sunn o_O))) (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 24 December 2009 03:03 (seven years ago) Permalink

ha jump rope sucks so bad

forks©lovetofu (forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 December 2009 20:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

eleven months pass...

The 2010 edition kicked in a few days back:

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/music/columns/f2k10/

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 December 2010 15:47 (six years ago) Permalink

two years pass...
three years pass...

WHERE CAN I READ THIS?!?!? It appears to have disappeared from the internet entirely. Even the Internet Archive Wayback Machine is giving me a page of a 404 error.

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 11 May 2017 01:56 (one week ago) Permalink

:,(

maura, Thursday, 11 May 2017 02:49 (one week ago) Permalink

We pitched it as a book, everyone blew it

Jay Elettronica Viva (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 11 May 2017 02:55 (one week ago) Permalink

if only we'd called it f2k me please

maura, Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:53 (one week ago) Permalink

Can't believe yall just let all this great writing just disappear forever. Backup your work ffs. Does anybody even have a complete list?

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:55 (one week ago) Permalink

why don't you step off

maura, Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:57 (one week ago) Permalink

and maybe educate yourself about how online content works. sheesh man

maura, Thursday, 11 May 2017 10:57 (one week ago) Permalink

it looks like its here? https://www.google.com.au/search?q=f2k+village+voice&safe=off

just sayin, Thursday, 11 May 2017 11:09 (one week ago) Permalink

Yay! Thank you!

Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 11 May 2017 17:07 (one week ago) Permalink

http://www.villagevoice.com/?s=f2k

maura, Thursday, 18 May 2017 15:52 (six days ago) Permalink


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