Do your non-music-loving friends hurt your feelings?

i put on a cluster & eno record and it got all awkward during scrabble

i stopped being friends with someone once for a bet.

i won 25 crisp canadians dollars

people pay more than that to be my friend

I am the only hip-hop head I know IRL.

(except Oilyrags! but we don't argue who bit what from who on a regular basis or anything)

Point being its hard out here for a hoos. I gets lonely.

"Plainsong" by the Cure was playing once, and my friend said it was "horrible, unlistenable". I felt like crying.

I mean, what's with this subjectivity bullshit?

I felt like crying.

"But it's just rain", you said, brushing the tears away.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v201/sevenxviii/hardforahoos.jpg

Curtis that is freaking fantastic, man. You've made my day. I wish there was an associated children's book or something. Classic.

As for this thread, I feel real sorry for ya'lls. Bimble is a lonely person, too, but when folks object to my music it usually makes me just think badly of them, rather than have hurt feelings. I did have one friend (notice past tense) who used to say some kinda nasty dismissive things about some of my music, even though he did like music and we had some stuff in common.

Also, "later arpeggiator" is a classic screen name. Well done, mate, well done.

"But it's just rain", you said, brushing the tears away.

:-)

(or "it's just the way i smile")

Once I had some worker friends over for an evening of good times, and I guess I played too much Kraftwerk or something, because the next day at work I overheard them saying that "Zach only listens to MIDI music". It kind of hurt my feelings, I guess.

During high school, my friends and I came up with a designated-driver system that ensured inebriation about three times a month. We split into four-man teams, with each of us assuming driving duties for one weekend a month. The only rule: the driver had complete control over the stero.
Being from small-town Canada, my friends were listening to a jumble of classic rock and country, with Steve Miller, Tom Petty and AC/DC being particular favourites. On my first night as designated driver in our system, I brought PiL and The Pop Group to soundtrack the trip to the bush party.
I never had to drive again. My feelings were in no way hurt.

This thread is very odd.

i don't really hang out with people who don't like music. a lot of friends don't necessarily like the majority of what i listen to, but they appreciate my zeal and knowledge.

This should really be the other way round, you're doing something wrong.

This should really be the other way round

Do your feelings hurt your non-music-loving friends?

i'd say a good percentage of my friends have really good taste in music. the rest don't have BAD taste per se, just not what i listen to. the ones that have what i'd consider shite taste i just try not to talk about music with. and i'm not very good friends with them anyway.

wasn't there a thread about pretending to like certain bands to impress guys/girls? i am currently in the midst of that right now. i'm really having a hard time dealing with this person's enjoyment of jack johnson and dave matthews band. it may be a breaking point for me. i don't know.

Yeah, I think it's more the reverse: I always have a hard time faking enthusiasm when my friends score tickets for [insert big important concert here], which always comes off (understandably) as kind of rude.

A few weeks ago a co-worker and I were joking around and she made a reference to a passing headband-wearing tourist as looking like "Blondie in the 'Get Physical' video" and my brain kind of exploded while trying to decide where to start (Blondie is a group?) and again I felt like a humorless bastard. Even though I didn't say anything at all...just a long unintentional pause.

So yeah, it's me, not them.

Do your feelings hurt your non-music-loving friends?

That wasn't worth it

learnt at a very young age to not care. I like what I like and won't shove my taste on other people, so long as they don't try to get me to listen to Damien Rice or some shit. The only downside is that I'm one of those who always ends up going to gigs by myself, which is ok once in a while but mostly kind of sucks.

I am the only hip-hop head I know IRL.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 27 May 2007 20:02 (Yesterday)

The mysteries of the universe explained. (To be fair, I spent most of high school in the same predicament.)

Most of my friends have alright, if not great, taste in music. One friend steadfastly ignores anything made after 1980 (keep in mind said friend was born in 1987), but has pretty good taste in pre-'80 stuff. One friend, however, cannot be seen eye to eye with. He listens mostly to shitty Christian rock, which he tries to lower my defences to by calling it "gospel", which it is quite clearly not, and hates everything to which I listen.

i was very glad to bump into someone who actually knew anything about "Chill Out" by the KLF and we both recounted the same story of putting it on for our friends and being told we'd "hit a new level of weirdness".

That wasn't worth it

Actually, yeah, it felt like it was, because first I didn't understand what you meant by "this really should be the other way around" and second your name, after all, is annoyingly long and even ends with the word "Annoyman". So, yeah, all in all, contextually it was probably worth it. But nothing personal or anything, obv.

This is why I make friends with record store clerks about town, other musicians, and huge nerds. People who don't feel passion for tunes, or can't, at least, deal with my bubbling enthusiasm for whatever subgenre youtube clip I've unearthed from the vault contrasted and related somehow with a piece of art on display at the whitney museum's psychedelia exhibit (among other random connections that may or may not exist but are displayed in shimmering technicolor due to my hyperactive synapses snapping electical pulses every which way) aren't worth wasting my breath on.

For the most part I don't care. I talk about music stuff all the time and am constantly reassured that whichever friend was around for it doesn't care at all. No worries, I say, just let me ramble. And I only have one friend who listens to the same stuff I do.

It's cool, though. I've been able to turn a few non-music loving on to something I like. My John Mayer-loving roommate is now enamored with the Birthday Party.

I wish my friends and I shared musical taste. But, I know that I'm so out of touch, it's not worth the effort. I've actually come to find that they are more offended than I am when it comes to not liking the same bands. So, I don't even try to make them like what I like anymore.

However, I will never forget the look on my friend's face when she listened to Einsturzende Neubauten!! I told her she wouldn't like it, but she was willing to make the effort to listen to my stuff. I'll give her credit for that. As soon as she heard Blixa's voice, her eyes nearly came out of her head and her face was stiff. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen!

That wasn't worth it

Well then why don't you stop being all cryptic and explain what you're trying to say? Or if you can't bring yourself to reveal your thoughts or be serious here, why don't you just shut it?

My John Mayer-loving roommate is now enamored with the Birthday Party.

That's so fuckin' cool, man! Reminds me of a friend I had in high school that I somehow rather accidentally got into Wolfgang Press of all things. He just seemed to like them from the getgo. Go figure.

As soon as she heard Blixa's voice, her eyes nearly came out of her head and her face was stiff. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen!

Bahahahah

------Well then why don't you stop being all cryptic and explain what you're trying to say? Or if you can't bring yourself to reveal your thoughts or be serious here, why don't you just shut it?

Word g!

I once offered our uni common-room a selection of Slowdive's Pygmalion, Ride's GBA, SFA's Radiator, and (I think) some early Mercury Rev, and each in turn was brutally slaughtered as being 'shite' and 'weird'. To answer the original question, then: all the fucking time.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings

On the one hand, I get great pleasure out of introducing friends to new music that they end up loving. The flip side is that I have to go into it with very, very low expectations. Frankly, I don't make year-end compilations anymore because when I gave them out, the response was universally muted with little or no feedback.

common-room otm

Nope. Two reasons— Both my father (also on ILX, though more a lurker) and my girlfriend have excellent taste (him an avant-jazz head, her a former freeform DJ who got me into Prince). The second reason is that I've so long listened to things that other people don't like that it doesn't phase me. Although I would think that they'd stop coming to me for recommendations after a while.

But I've been giving away albums before a move, mostly of promo shit, and I keep getting caught in the "Well, y'know, I don't like it, but you might" thing (it also happens at used record stores). The unspoken thought is "You have terrible taste in music, and this is pretty terrible, so you might like it," though I have to admit that I'm not all that great at discerning different terrible tastes from other terrible tastes, especially when people (like my roommate) like roughly the same things that I do, only (to my ear) more boring. He was listening to some new band that sounds just like Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, and I told him that he might like them or Jesus and Mary Chain, or even Spacemen 3, and he just gave me this blank look and said, "Yeah, JAMC are OK, but this just came out."
Which is fine. He bought it, it's not atrocious, and maybe he doesn't have the hangup I do about narrative genre histories.
But it seems like, aside from my dad and my girlfriend, the only person who's taste I respect is my neighbor's 11-year-old girl, who's always excited, never fronting or trying to be cool about what she likes, and has gotten me to enjoy a lot more radio music than anyone else in a while. Like, Yellowcard's kinda fun! Who knew?

ok ethan i'll play them hot shots II and madvillain next time and they'll still say it's shite. what i'm trying to say is that people in general are into adult-contemporary/indie dreck like snow patrol, and anything with a bit of originality is shunned.

Hot Shots II is shit. Madvillian's overrated.

grr my point is that ANY vaguely outre music liked by members of ILM isn't going to fare well with the average listener, REGARDLESS of whether other ILM'ers like it.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings

Heh. Although I don't know why people always use the plural; you get a much better reaction if you say to someone "you really hurt my feeling".

thing is, i like such a huge variety of music that i can relate with just about anybody on some level as far as tastes go. i feel comfortable hanging out with people who dig reggae as much as metalheads. i don't expect everyone to be as much of an obsessive nerd as i am, and don't consider such a trait to be a necessity for friendship - but i find people that are music nerds semi-regularly and appreciate them a lot.

i really only reserve my hatred and bile for people who like what i consider to be boring wastes of aural space, ie your nickelbacks, your snow patrols, your faith hills, your james blunts and disturbed and the eagles and santana's "supernatural" or whatever. or for people who don't really listen to music at all, which is something i just really can't fathom.

Damn, such hatred for Snow Patrol! Their first few albums are great as is the Reindeer Section side project. They did sell out in almost as big a way as Simple Minds, I'll grant you.

I remember showing a girl named Erica "Erica's Word" by Game Theory only for her to tell me that she thought it was "too 80s" and then going back to her Garden State soundtrack (no, really, she turned Frou Frou or whatever back on almost immediately after). Of course doubly ironic considering the Garden State's famous scene. That kinda, sorta hurt my feelings I remember.

you get a much better reaction if you say to someone "you really hurt my feeling".

Ha! That's brilliant, I'll have to try that one sometime!

As for having my feelings hurt -- I used to work at biggish music store (pronounced en Francais it would be 'ashem-vay'), and one night at closing I played 'The Punch Line' by the Minutemen over the ground floor PA. (Sounded amazing -- then again everything sounded amazing through that set-up.) However, one of my co-workers turned to me and said that D Boon's singing sounded like Timmy from South Park.

Reader, he stung me.

(On a related note, this same person was convinced that Madonna's surname was pronounced 'Sicc-own').

Thread title question: Slightly.

Question #1: Well sure that'd be nice but It's not likely to happen. In fact, the more your taste is honed, and specialized, the less chance there is that someone will like exactly the same stuff as you. I just accept the compromise.

Question #2: None of my friends hate any of my music, because...

Question #3: I'm as picky with friends as I am with music, so I won't be friends in the first place with someone who hates any of my favorite artists. Or more important, they won't be fans of an artist I hate. This isn't because I gave them a list to check off; it's because my general idea of their likes and dislikes is reliable enough that they'll never like any artists that I find particularly heinous. That's because taste is coordinated. Your taste in music lines up with your politics, which lines up with your taste in clothing, which lines up with...food, whatever. Someone who likes Garth Brooks will not like Tofu. There are many, many artists that are grounds for absolutely ruling out friendship with a person, but anybody I've made friends with would never like any of them.

I don't understand question #4.

music is for retards. the most redeeming feature of it is lyrics

i like to see why people like the things they like, and if popular music only makes up 8% of what they care about then, thank god, they're more well-adjusted than i am. it doesn't preclude a connection on a lot of other levels. lots of boring people are interested in music, lots of worthwhile people aren't as much as other interests, etc.

I'm as picky with friends as I am with music, so I won't be friends in the first place with someone who hates any of my favorite artists. Or more important, they won't be fans of an artist I hate. This isn't because I gave them a list to check off; it's because my general idea of their likes and dislikes is reliable enough that they'll never like any artists that I find particularly heinous. That's because taste is coordinated. Your taste in music lines up with your politics, which lines up with your taste in clothing, which lines up with...food, whatever. Someone who likes Garth Brooks will not like Tofu. There are many, many artists that are grounds for absolutely ruling out friendship with a person, but anybody I've made friends with would never like any of them.

Wow. You are the living proof that I am wrong when I dismiss idiotic arguments as being predicated of strawmen.

http://www.davno.ru/posters/collections/propaganda/img/poster-01.jpg

C/D: It's what you like, not what you're like.

original poster seems to have mistaken this board for a place where social inadequates who value cultivating their own tastes more than dealing with people or engaging with the world congregate in the knowledge that the 99.9% of the world who are better adjusted than them won't be reading or caring. Actually, juding by a quick look around, he or she may not be wrong. And I am aware of the irony of this!

Rich Smorgasbord, I hate you.

interested observer, I don't get the point of your post. yes, we love music, maybe too much. some other people don't like music that much. what happens when you put them in a room together?!

thing is, i like such a huge variety of music that i can relate with just about anybody on some level as far as tastes go

DING DING DING.

To the original poster: are your tastes so insular and dull that you can't talk about anything?

Jesus, how do you make any friends like that? Asshole.

No, I like all types of pop, hip-hop, rock, r&b, disco, techno, house, and every other genre you can think of. Except country, I haven't gotten too into that, probably because I grew up around it so it was always the boring thing that was on that I didn't wanna hear.

Admittedly, though, my tastes aren't so awe-inspiringly universal that every fucking person I come across is dying to hear my latest infatuation.

I didn't call this thread, "isn't it hard to talk to people who don't like cluster & eno?" This isn't a thread about getting along with acquiantances, it's about your friends and their reaction to your favorite stuff. Maybe all your friends are kept at such distance that you just don't give a shit, but I'm 20 years old and I live with my friends, so it kind of is a part of my life. And on top of that, this thread really isn't even about me. My friends DON'T hurt my feelings when it comes to music. I usually just feel bad that I can't explain what is so great about so-and-so album.

As I get older, I care less and less about what other people think.

As I get older I am surrounded more and more by people who do not listen to music or do not have or make the time to listen to stuff (so I do not bring it up or discuss it). That includes friends who are just too busy with work, parenting, whatever...

Curmudgeon is OTM.

The reason old people like old music is because they haven't had time to pay attention to music since their entry into the real world.

I thought it was because I was trying to be cool w/ some marginalized (c)rap while younguns was all hanson'in'

I spent ages making a party mixtape for a friend's birthday and he wouldn't put it on because he was scared of Deerhoof and then he put The Beatles on and oh no.

I've had friends look through my CD collection and say "don't you have anything good?"

I fixed (or made a feeble attempt at fixing) a friends iTunes external drive library file issues yesterday (all whilst grumbling underneath my breath, "this is exactly why I collect vinyl and CDs - scahrewww this digital music shit") and out of 79,000 tunes not a single Slayer song ... What...The...Fuck.