post your made-up tom waits lyric

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"Crazy Drunk Troll"
by
Tom Waits

Standing in a soup line
Crazy Drunk Troll man
Warbling like a whipporwill

Poured gasoline on myself
Banging on a old dirt can
Samson cut the drunk hair
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

― banana squad (dayvidday), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:03 (7 years ago) Permalink

the perjury of the rainbow
coming over the parkin lot
it does not care about me
the old man, the gold pot

i threw out my old cubano
traded it for nicaruag'
pissed up at the rainbow
it landed on the log
man troll gas beany jim-jam

― tom waits for no one (noize duke), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:14 (7 years ago) Permalink

No one cares when the blind man lies
For the truth can see right through him.
A pigeon bird perches on the window sill
The man with his lights knocked out is dim.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

*sounds of garbage cans rolling down a cobblestone hill*

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

The ugliest man I ever saw
dealt three card monte in Arkansas
he scratched his belly as he stroked his jaw
and said "man troll gas beany jim-jam,"

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

(gypsy tamborine and cigar-box guitar accompaniment)

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:23 (7 years ago) Permalink

Down in a coal mine, RAT TAT TAT!
Shuffling the shoeshine, BUT NOT WITH THAT!

― Porcupine Kiss, Novacaine Lips (Bimble...), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

Welcome to Hell's Lobby, Rose said
a night with you is a shot in the head
We'd lost God at the Greyhound station, by now he had to be halfway to Jackson
her eyes on fire and her voice like evaporated gin

and the duke sidles up to the bar
a dollar in this town only goes so far
his vest of silk straight from Siam
man troll gas beany jim-jam

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

(marc ribot solo)

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

oh my god this is fun

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

The crazy midget with the eyes of fire
Drank bourbon and spat on the funeral pyre
Said, "I don't know much but I know a liar
And somehow we all gotta pay."

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Saturday, 8 April 2006 04:44 (7 years ago) Permalink

On this train to Baltimore
Frankie tells me about the shore
Says the crab leg shells are so clean
When morning breaks, I'll fiddle the bean

Perfume and pine tar fill the air
a ragtag midget sells his ware
Says if I buy, he'll treat me right
I hear his laughter all through the night

Back on base, the sargeant growls
Says we ain't gonna make it anyhow
The infantry snaps, cause a big scene
When morning breaks, I'll fiddle the bean.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 8 April 2006 05:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

*train whistle, umbrella pump going schook-schook-schook, three dozen marbles dropped on ceramic tile floor*

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 8 April 2006 05:06 (7 years ago) Permalink

The devil plays marimba
While Johnny's on the floor
He drank up all his dreams
And they threw him out the door

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Saturday, 8 April 2006 05:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

Well it's a broke-down dead-ended two-bit gig
where the tight-rope walker dances polkas and jigs
The fix is in, Maria, keep your hands clasped tight
jigsaw puzzle flim flam pontoons tonight

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Saturday, 8 April 2006 05:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

This is a useful reference:

http://www.officialtomwaits.com/music/m_lyrdic.htm

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Saturday, 8 April 2006 05:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

To wit:

Murder in the Red Barn
[Murder in the Red Barn/Bone Machine]
Murder In the Red Barn actually refers to a murder in Victorian rural England. A man called Richard Cawdaw? had a relationship with a dairy maid. But after an argument he killed her with a spade in a red barn on the farm and buried her under a pile of straw. He then ran off to the Isle of Man, but wrote to the girl's mother pretending to be the girl herself, telling her that she had settled down with a man. However, a woman had a dream of the murder and the body buried beneath the straw. After the body was found, Richard Cawdaw was found guilty on the strength of the dream and was sentenced to be hanged. The British public was intrigued by the murder and the court case, and foot lengths of the hanging rope were sold for a guinea each. The story was made into a musical melodrama, called, funnily enough, The Murder In The Red Barn.

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Saturday, 8 April 2006 05:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

In the early frozen morning,
A hopeful hard-on brings sadness

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Saturday, 8 April 2006 06:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

No. Try again.

― Gilbert O'Sullivan (kenan), Saturday, 8 April 2006 07:57 (7 years ago) Permalink

I don't have enough weathered soul

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Saturday, 8 April 2006 08:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

I don't have enough weathered soul,
Barnboard necktie, and rigamarole,
All i got is an ashtray fedora tonight,
And a ten gallon headache, just shoot out the light,
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

― m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Saturday, 8 April 2006 15:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

I love this thread.

― Porcupine Kiss, Novacaine Lips (Bimble...), Saturday, 8 April 2006 16:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

it's raining at the green crown
the barmaid's got a leer like a neon sign
rose tattoo on her left thigh
the boys are here to get high
i don't like how it's going down
might be time to get outta town

a dollar-fifty wedding gown
in a trunk that came over on the mayflower
the rats i think ate that thing
silver dollar wedding ring
christ it's coming all unwound
might be time to get outta town

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 8 April 2006 16:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

*attic door hinge, wind in the shutters, small brass band*

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 8 April 2006 16:29 (7 years ago) Permalink

I was waiting for you
I was sat in the sun
I could picture your face on the tip of my tongue
I woke up laughing

― Zwan (miccio), Saturday, 8 April 2006 16:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 8 April 2006 17:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

(he should really do a whole robert frost album. "the death of the hired man" would be the centerpiece.)

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Saturday, 8 April 2006 17:23 (7 years ago) Permalink

The forty-year-old virgin and the fourteen-year-old whore
Both know there's nothing worth living for
The bridegroom's unconscious on the living room floor
And Ludwig and Gretl don't care any more
So close your eyes baby I'll tell you the score
God is a bastard, a drunk and a thief
The world is a rake and you are a leaf
Three thousand blind Indians in search of a chief
And you'll never go home any more.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Saturday, 8 April 2006 17:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

oh the vultures on the strip are eyeing her ring
and the parking lot prairie dogs elected me king
but her husband's been missing since the spanish civil war
and we're not welcome in Tuscon anymore...

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Saturday, 8 April 2006 18:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

you forgot one thing.. (marc ribot solo)

― noizem duke (noize duke), Saturday, 8 April 2006 18:38 (7 years ago) Permalink

(Stroh viola solo)

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Saturday, 8 April 2006 19:04 (7 years ago) Permalink

I spent my last five on a spit shine and walked uptown
and played stickball with the shinbone of a dead grey dog

― bendy (bendy), Saturday, 8 April 2006 19:16 (7 years ago) Permalink

mr. rockefeller sent for a taiwanese vest
accordian barstool bookie knows the rest
sings an old sea song 'neath a kansas city moon
the train don't stop in the broken leg monsoon

he said jesus forgot how to forgive
a crippled waltz is all that he can give
father jackson's playin' find the lady
the slaughterhouse girls know how to drive you crazy

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Saturday, 8 April 2006 19:38 (7 years ago) Permalink

Got an old whisky bottle filled with gasoline,
Gonna see my ex-old lady way down in Abilene,
Even when I'm sober it don't make no sense,
Left my overcoat hanging on a barbwire fence

― m0stly clean (m0stly clean), Sunday, 9 April 2006 01:35 (7 years ago) Permalink

Dog in the manger on Cannery Row,
Jesus and Haysoos,nowhere to go,
Mirror sees itself, in the lottery moon,
Cash in your chips, you're leavin' soon.

― don, Sunday, 9 April 2006 02:38 (7 years ago) Permalink

"Man troll gas beany jim-jam" is my new favorite meme. All I have to do now is find a way to insert it on other threads ...

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Sunday, 9 April 2006 02:44 (7 years ago) Permalink

And it's hey hey,
my my,
put your money on the nickel and you'll never die,

― don, Sunday, 9 April 2006 03:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

but the blessed don't care
and the dirt don't cry.

― don, Sunday, 9 April 2006 04:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

the rocky shoaled ghost ship
cast its moth eaten sail
the midshipman busted with opium
and made haste but couldn't make bail

our lime green curtain of death
casts aglow and ashimmer our flight
and the borealis glows in forever night

thought the compass points east
we're still facing north
with bacchus' gale blowing off towards course

so dream of dwarfs tonight
so dream with dwarfs tonight.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 9 April 2006 04:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

no jimjam, no credibility

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Sunday, 9 April 2006 04:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

shoptgun shell on the Tallahassee road
her old man's comin' but he gotta reload
the lions were roaring and the clowns all cried
circus kept a rollin but the strongman died

(kazoo and turntable solo)

up on the tightrope sittin with the band
dollar glass of whiskey in my red right hand
meet my baby on the Nashville line
in a train track jungle by the crooked line

(eerie whistling fades into train noises)

― sleeve (sleeve), Sunday, 9 April 2006 05:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

line = pine

― sleeve (sleeve), Sunday, 9 April 2006 05:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

Line works well, too, though.

― Porcupine Kiss, Novacaine Lips (Bimble...), Sunday, 9 April 2006 07:10 (7 years ago) Permalink

In the forest moves old moon
Wonderin if it aint too soon
To get on up and bloody the sky
It was movin in the wood, it was gettin high

Now up gets up old blood moon
Whistling his old sea shanty tune
I Shoot him down like an old tin can
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

― Major Alfonso (Major Alfonso), Sunday, 9 April 2006 12:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

EARLY WAITS

It's another runaway night on Sunset
As the cars all swim by with their fins
A busted sweetheart walks lopsided
Candy-caned and covered with gin...

(*acoustic guitar, piano*)

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 10 April 2006 16:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

Now man th troll gas on th beany jim jam,
Hoist the mainsail and ready to ram,
fish come a-walkin on the mainland soon,
Boom or bust, Big Dipper's gone spoon.

― don, Monday, 10 April 2006 20:45 (7 years ago) Permalink

rusted peg leg and a muffin tin
old transmission and a pint of gin
busted jew's harp and a graveyard grin
dancin' the Tennessee waltz

two fried eggs and some cornbeef hash
a one-eyed dog and thirty dollars cash
one man's treasure is another man's trash
outside Toledo in the fall

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 10 April 2006 21:05 (7 years ago) Permalink

Cholera on the phone
A talking shoeshine directing traffic with his pennyloafers. Ahh, nothing wrong with him a good insole wouldn't fix.
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

― bob.cheerful (bob.cheerful), Monday, 10 April 2006 21:07 (7 years ago) Permalink

Tom Waits Haiku

Drunken piano
Man troll gas beany jim-jam
Free Hogwash: two-bits

― bob.cheerful (bob.cheerful), Monday, 10 April 2006 21:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

Now, for this next rambling, I'm gonna have to go all the way back to 1910. Apparently, two investment traders got into a scuffle resulting in one trader shooting the other in the testicles. The bullet passed cleanly through the trader and landed in the ovaries of Eleanor Roosevelt, who gave birth 9 months later. The baby and mother were fine, and the trader was ok, although understandably a bit sheepish about the whole affair. Eventually, the baby grew up to be John Maynard Keynes who gave us the idea of interventionist economic government policy. He named the emerging policies Keynesian Economics - after his imaginary Uncle.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Securities Exchange act of 1934 came to be. Now I'd like to sing a song about it:

Heebie-jabba
Dooba-jabba
Fiddlestick Pine
I'm headed east on the Burlington Line

Laissez-faire, moneterists, classical scam
Sleeping in my hat, eatin' all my ham
Heart-o-gold hooker kickin' an old tin can
Man troll gas beany jim-jam

― bob.cheerful (bob.cheerful), Monday, 10 April 2006 21:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

Candy Corn Clown
by
Tom Waits

The candy corn clown man
banging in the wood shed on an empty sink
scary clown mask
drinking gasoline from a barbed wire sheepskin

― banana squad (dayvidday), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 01:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

Peg Leg Howell at a dance marathon
The bastard never stood a chance.....

― Jason Vivone, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 03:15 (7 years ago) Permalink

Froggy went a-courtin and he did ride
With a inside ring and a foregone bride,
Rode so high and they rode so fast,
Wedding porrait tattooed by Thomas Nast.

― don, Tuesday, 11 April 2006 03:34 (7 years ago) Permalink

I tracked her by the rustle
of her fishnets in the dark
then we coupled in the alley
her hips slappin 'gainst the wall

Then I cried my deep gratituted
to hard drugs and paper money
And back out on the freighter
could smell my dick already

― JB Young (JB Young), Tuesday, 11 April 2006 05:11 (7 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

this thread still has the power to make me laugh uncontrollably. so great.

― scott seward, Friday, 9 November 2007 10:29 (5 years ago) Permalink

a little backstage drama
never hurt nobody's mama
but i'm sleeping in garbage
my dinner's a clam

she called me a liar
said my "pants were on fire"
and that's the way it'll end up
man troll gas beany jim-jam

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

Some of these are amazing.

― Scik Mouthy, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

And it's hey hey,
my my,
put your money on the nickel and you'll never die,

but the blessed don't care
and the dirt don't cry.

is my favorite

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 9 November 2007 12:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

wow, revive. I wish english was my first language so I could even try to come up with something worthy.

― Moka, Tuesday, 11 August 2009 07:05 (3 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

"Don" is really good at this.

― Ground Zero Mostel (Hurting 2), Friday, 3 September 2010 19:46 (2 years ago) Permalink

He's got his shreveport motorcade hangin off his nose
and his alabaster cummerbund's higher than a crow
hes throwin strikes in a bowling alley bathroom stall
man troll gas beany jim-jam

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 3 September 2010 19:57 (2 years ago) Permalink

Hmm, the early Sean Connery filmography can be fashioned in to Waits lyrics
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000125/

Dixon's on the green dock, a sailor of fortune
changed his name to Achmed for a blood money portion
was a Titanic deckhand on the night to remember
There's no road back for the ladies of the manor

Hire an opera singer for the armchair theater
The man who would be king doesn't want to meet her
The boy with the meat axe is standing above
The woman of straw and a woman in love.

― bendy, Friday, 3 September 2010 20:33 (2 years ago) Permalink

well the seagulls are angels and the wind's a minuet
and i been chased out of des moines by bent cops and bad debts
and the sunset's a hurdy-gurdy just crankin out regrets
i told ya rosie, i'd do all i can

and the car won't turn over even with a skeleton key
you know it hasn't seen service since robert e. lee
saginaw or san diego , baby it's all the same to me
man troll
gas beany
jim-jam.

― zvookster, Friday, 3 September 2010 21:43 (2 years ago) Permalink

1 year passes...

"When morning breaks, I'll fiddle the bean."

― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 18:36 (9 months ago) Permalink

that's a really sad line

― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 18:38 (9 months ago) Permalink

"Broken Leg Monsoon" would be a hell of a name for a tribute band.

― Everything You Like Sucks, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 18:52 (9 months ago) Permalink

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