Bon Jovi: C/D

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Ok, so you guys are pretty open-minded listeners on this board. I'm arguing with my friend on why Bon Jovi sucks my rear. What does ILM think? 80's cock rock or great memories?

― Brock K, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

dud dud dud dud. and i like cock rock!

― chaki, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Shot in the head!
You're so lame!
You give rock...a BAD name (bad name).

Though bless his heart Chuck Eddy almost makes Slippery When Wet succeed.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

In high school I hated his long-haired guts, and guys like him were instrumental in my immersion in punk culture. As I get a little older, my view becomes a little more charitable to Bon and his ilk. At least back then rock was rock (no DJs on the stage, thanks), rockers wore tight pants, there was a little glamor and romance in living on the bus. Now the big acts are knuckleheaded neanderthals in baggy jeans and nasty dreadlocks... We could start a whole thread about those videos: "Wanted Dead Or Alive","Every Rose Has Its Thorn", the grainy B&W footage showing that behind the spotlights, there's a dark side to the R&R dream... sweaty, tired guys with towels, dudes passing out on stage, doe-eyed nymphs pressed against the bus... they don't make them like that anymore.

― Andy, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

You sure? I think you just described Blink-182.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Andy makes a good point. The corporate metal of yesterdecade is much better and stylish than the shiite that is out now. Bon Jovi does suck your rear, cause there was much better cock rock than bon jovi. Def Leppard, Whitesnake, Poison, the crue, Tesla, Firehouse, GNR, and Great White just to name a few much more deserving ones. Leppard was probably the best out of any of the hair bands way back when. Bon Jovi just sold records off of girls in wet t-shirts on "Slippery When Wet" and jonny boy's looks.

― Luptune Pitman, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

They were, and are bloody terrible.

― Norman Phay, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I was three-quarters of the way through a European tour when I played at a club called the Underground in Gothenburg, Sweden. My bassist had gone home by then, & I'd booked the Swedish shows myself, so it was just me taking trains from place to place. After a thoroughly enjoyable show I went back to my typically comfy Swedish hotel room and flipped on the TV. It was about three in the morning, but it's always hard for me to sleep when I'm by myself in a new city.

There was a French show on the television, and the guests of the fifty-odd-year-old French TV show host were Bob Geldof and Jon Bon Jovi. He'd ask them questions which a person to their side would translate, and they'd answer in English. Bon Jovi claimed, unconvincingly, that he'd always been a big Boomtown Rats fan when he was growing up in New Jersey. Geldof didn't say a whole lot.

Then Bon Jovi sang "I Don't Like Mondays," which seemed, in a small hotel room in Sweden at three in the morning, like proof positive that you can't kill surrealism.

What this says about their Classic or Dud status I don't know but this incident has been haunting me for years.

― John Darnielle, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Ok, so you guys are pretty open- minded listeners on this board.

heh.

― marek, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Mostly dud, but "Livin' On A Prayer" is a great song.

― Mark, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

were the 80's rockers any less than knuckleheaded and neanderthalian than those of today? is there really much difference between the 70's rock anachronism of gnr and the ilk and the sub-hip-hop poseur-ism of limp bizkit etc?

― marek, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I think just the obvious aesthetic difference... I guess I'd rather see a skinny dude in leather pants and a Les Paul singing songs of wasted nights and hotel debauchery than some fat, bald monobrow bellowing about his parents' divorce... it's all subjective, isn't it?

― Andy, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I guess I'd rather see a skinny dude in leather pants and a Les Paul singing songs of wasted nights and hotel debauchery than some fat, bald monobrow bellowing about his parents' divorce

Andy is 100% OTM.

― Norman Phay, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

we think we want the skinny guy in leather pants.. but thats just cuz its not around as much anymore and we're nostalgic. as soon as a record company tries to bring it back (ie: candlebox or buckcherry) we all get disgusted and remember why we hated it in the first place. looks like the only answer is the strokes.

― chaki, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

You might be right, Chaki... skinny guys with skinny ties.

― Andy, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I'd rather have a guy in leather pants than The Strokes. But I would not want Axl Rose in leather pants these days. Sebastian Bach is still quite slim. Have you seen his new show on VH1?

Oh yea...to answer the question Bon Jovi sucks and Mr. Jon's acting sucks as well.

― Lindsey B, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Yes! "Metal Madness" or something on VH1? SB was hosting it all last week and he did a whole show with Rob Halford. You could see the respect in his eyes. He was almost crying when they swapped dreams they'd had of performing with their old bands. Then SB snapped out of it and was like "yeah they were nightmares actually, cause I hate those guys! Take it from us, Rob Halford and Sebastian Bach - you can kick the man out fo the band, but you can't kick the band out of the man! Metal Madness! We'll be right back!"

Livin on a Prayer is a great song, admit it everybody.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I admit nothing, you goddamned punks! Jovi was pretty much always terrible, though I admit that the first single "Runaway" seemed like a breath of fresh air, if only because it was a metal-influenced act that wasn't particularly scared to use keyboards. But that got stale pretty fast.

― Sean Carruthers, Friday, 8 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Isn't it about time Jel showed up and launched a Bon Jovi defense? (I'm not up to the job, I think they're lousy.)

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I'll give Slippery When Wet a classic vote except for "Social Disease" and "Never Say Goodbye." If "Livin' On a Prayer" why not "Without Love" or "I'd Die For You?" I'm surprised the anti- rockists don't celebrate it as some sort of ultimate rock-into-pop project. I think it was the first album of most guys I know. New Jersey was a bit of a dud due to all those country-rock ballads. "Born To Be My Baby" wasn't bad though despite having the worst song title ever. A dud throughout the 90s, at least based on the radio singles.

Didn't most of the original heavy rock bands use keyboards?

― sundar, obsessive defender of the underdog, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I think they are classic. Great sing along songs. Not ground breaking or unique.

Hmmm...that's all I can say.

― jel, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I think they're good. What's their live album called? One Fantastic Night or something. One Wild Night, I think that's it. I particularly like that 'ooohaahoohaahoohaah' noise on Livin' on a Prayer. One of the earliest examples of sampling in popular music.

― Peter Miller, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

thats not sampling, thats richie sambora singing though his guitar like a fucking asshole.

― chaki, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Possibly the only example of that, then...

― Peter Miller, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

(pete frampton)

― jel, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I think the new jersey and young guns solo album were underappreciated attempts at americana, and were jbj's name clsoer to that of ryan adams, or if he carried the same type of uncut cred, they would be seen as late 80s classics, moments when jon said fuck this harisprayt shit, lets jsut paly the blues and rock and country roll.

― goeff, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

i like that jbj looks like one of the pod people in INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS before they haf formed fully

as a listener i INFINITELY prefer gnr (or indeed limp bizkit), but then i h8 ballads (ie i guess i am not of the jel persuasion on this thread)

― mark s, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

rock ballads make the world go round. that is science.

― jel, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

What, even "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You"? Or "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing"? Or "Don't Cry"? Or indeed "Bed Of Roses", "This Ain't A Love Song", "Always", "I'll Be There For You" ... ?

Incidentally Bon Jovi are dud for the unbearable whingeing nostalgia of "These Days" alone, though I still quite like "Livin' On A Prayer" in a silly way. Someone at my school used to have the piss taken relentlessly out of her for liking BJ and, even though the pisstakers were mostly Oasis fans, I took their side. And *that* says something!

― Robin Carmody, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

keep the faith = the best baggy/rock crossover evH

― , Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

dud!

― g, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Everything up through _Slippery When Wet_ is classic, after which they become a screaming nightmarish dud. "Wanted Dead Or Alive" is one of the best songs of the 80s.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

"Wanted Dead Or Alive" is one of the best songs of the 80s.

I will grant you the spectacular Vegas-cheese ballad stupidity of the song, but isn't there something about the way Mr. Jon sings it that makes you want to grab his ball-hairs and set them on fire?

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

[...] isn't there something about the way Mr. Jon sings ["Wanted Dead Or Alive"] that makes you want to grab his ball-hairs and set them on fire?

I reserve that reaction for "I'll Be There For You". That is one of the worst songs ever written.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Mercifully, his acting career seems to have fizzled out. A few years ago, when that video box with the blurb, "Jon Bon Jovi is magic!" began showing up on shelves, this feeling of intense dread came over me.

― Curt, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I'm almost positive it was a Bon Jovi song that I was hearing when I realized that I hate Rock & Roll.

And does "Bon Jovi" translate into "Good Joke"?

― Dave225, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I don't really give them much thought but when one of their songs comes on in the pub I usually quite like it. I remember my friend Sam buying Slippery When Wet when it came out and my being a bit worried cause it looked like a tough boy's metal album. But then he played it to me and I realised it wasn't really.

― Tom, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

you know, bon jovi have made some great pop songs - and i speak as someone who HATED them in sixth grade, back when all my friends were totally in love with jon. but 'wanted dead or alive' is classic beyond compare. they totally fit the jersey mold, trying to be bruce springsteen tricked out in leather pants and lots of frost & hairspray.

bon jovi is also classic for helping break cinderella and skid row - 'slave to the grind' is one of my top 5 records of the late '80s/early '90s hard rock boom.

― maura, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Ned, your posts seem to be growing increasingly hostile and violent these days. Is something wrong?

― sundar subramanian, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Mercifully, his acting career seems to have fizzled out.

not true, he's the new love interest on 'ally mcbeal' ...

― maura, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

And Luptune: Poison? Great White?

― sundar subramanian, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Ned, your posts seem to be growing increasingly hostile and violent these days. Is something wrong?

SILENCE, FOOL. ;-)

No, things are fine, thanks for asking. But music that fills me with hate will always provoke open loathing. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I am actually reminded now, though, of an interview Mr. Jon did in 1992 in MM where he claimed that Nirvana/Soundgarden/Mudhoney/Pearl Jam et al were obviously 'influenced' by him. Having concluded that his head was severed before being implanted deep between his leathery buttcheeks, I will agree that further taunting of him is a bit like beating up a baby.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Obviously, Poison are the most important band of the 1980's.

― jel, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Jel, you hurt me deeply in my heart.

― Dan Perry, Tuesday, 12 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

"Talk Dirty to Me" is the only worthwhile song I've heard from either Poison or Great White. Better than Bon Jovi my ass. Even New Jersey smokes Open Up and Say . . . Ahhh and Twice Shy.

― sundar subramanian, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Better than Bon Jovi my ass.

Nah, gotta disagree. Poison by a country mile here. "Don't want NOTHIN' but a GOOD TIME!"

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

I think you'll find the line is "don't NEED nothin but a good time" implying that they already HAVE a good time and therefore want for nothing.

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Why, even better for them, then. :-)

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Sundar is correct. Poison is false metal most pernicious. If I'm going to get the NY Dolls, then I want Thunders & Johansen, thanks. Bon Jovi may suck (though they know their way around a pop melody pretty well: "Wanted" would make a GREAT song for whoever it is that does that "I do/wonder if you feel the same way I do" R&B song that was on the radio about a month ago), but they're not false metal, because they have no metal pretentions.

That said, both bands must be fed to sea serpents at the earliest available opportunity.

― John Darnielle, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

My favorite Poison story:

A goofy guy no one really liked in my high school was horning in on a discussion about hot women in the music industry. His contribution was Rikki Rocket. After our giggles subsided, we informed him that his beloved Ricki was a man. His response: "Really? Are you sure? Damn. Still, he makes a really hot chick."

From this point on, I couldn't help but look at Poison as That Awful Band With The Hot Shemale Drummer.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Dr ess Rikki Rockett

― jel, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

they have no metal pretentions

Did Poison, though? All time, hands down, greatest quote ever: Rikki Rockett on his band's work: "We don't make art. We make hamburgers." GENIUS.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

And PRESCIENT.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

Oh yes.

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

3 years pass...

It's interesting how Bon Jovi are selling their tickets know in Oct. for their UK June '06 tour. I heard some tickets were on sale for £75; at that price they can bugger off! They are not the band they used to be in the 80s and early 90s. They have "sold out" and "poppified" themselves just to make more money; just like when Cher changed to dance music and brought out "believe", she "sold out" to sell more records!

― Gareth, Thursday, 6 October 2005 01:17 (7 years ago) Permalink

Phoo, Bon Jovi. Bon Jovi man, Bon, Jovi. Classic or dud. Meh that's tough. If they're not the epitomy of dudness in rock, what is ? Classic pop you say ? Now that's almost debatable.

― blunt (blunt), Thursday, 6 October 2005 01:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

7 years pass...

From the Daily Mirror:

Bon Jovi are offering fans a lot more satisfaction than the Rolling Stones - selling tickets for their gigs from just £12.50. The Livin' On A Prayer rockers have stepped in with their cut-price offer after the Stones announced it would cost from £95 up to £375 to see them on their 50th anniversary tour. But touts are flogging the tickets for thousands. Rob Hallett, Bon Jovi's UK tour promoter from AEG Live, said the band felt that rock fans were being priced out of the market and were determined to act. "I was delighted when they came to me insisting on ticket prices for the Because We Can tour next year that enabled all to attend," Mr. Hallett said. A Bon Jovi source added: "We are in the middle of a recession and that's why the band think £12.50 is perfect."

― The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Monday, 29 October 2012 17:12 (6 months ago) Permalink

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