Defend The Indefensible: Neil McCormick's 'People I Don't Know Are Trying To Kill Me'

1) Tory
2) music Critic
3) makes record

2) Critics should not make records. Just cause you crit, does not mean you can do better. Do one thing or the other.

1) Obviously overrides all else. No more rock and roll for you!

Or he knew U2 weren't doing any more new singles for aaaaaages?

but "Critics should not make records" - as usual, Neil Tennant and Chrissie Hynde to thread.

UTTERLY FUCKIING TASTELESS.

seriously this is fucking awful. the whole article was so FUCKING tasteless.

i just did. i urge others to do the same!

Just kidding, London folks. Stay strong.

Perhaps his knowledge of ILm is limited to Geir's contributions?

This is the most cuntish thing I have ever read. Apart from werenotafraid.com, of course.

CUNT!!!

Just see the video.

In this case, sitting on his fat arse and saying nothing does more to help.

We heard this record by a guy called Neil McCormick, and it really brought home the horror of what we were doing. If only more of you smug decadent infidels had tried to, y'know, do something. And that video...wow.

And for those of us who haven't seen the video could you please tell us what happens in it?

hey, perhaps our "friend" "tim" should learn to "speak english"!

and i speak as a sometime fan of the badly drawn boy.

IS THE BIG ONE THIS AWFUL FUCKING IDEA OF A SONG? IF SO I HOPE I NEVER BITE THE BIG ONE ON THAT CUNT OF A SONG.

NEIL MCCORMICK IS A MESSENGER OF WHAT? 'I'M DESPERATELY TRYING TO BE FAMOUS ... 'OH LOOK PEOPLE HAVE DIED IN A TRAGEDY ... I'LL USE THAT AS MY SPRINGBOARD TO FAME AND PUT MY PRESS RELEASE IN MY PAPER'

i hope that song is a superficial joke and then maybe i'd get it.

no i havent heard jerusalem....!

By Thursday, mistimed journalistic punchline Neil McCormick?s opportunistic pre-cum of a song touching memorial to the recent attacks in London ('People I Don't Know Are Trying To Kill Me') was racing up the charts.

It was looking set to break all chart records and stay at number 1 forever as a nation fell under the spell of The Ghost Who Wanks? coupling of a melody that would make your pubic hair grow back inside your skin in horror and disgust and lyrics that would make Rick Allen laugh his other arm off lovely tune and an Important Modern Political Message.
HOLD ON A MINUTE..! It?s only sold eight copies!!

Even people I know haven't bought my record :(

Wonder if Neil's 'bezzers', Sting, David Gray and Bono, have bought their copies yet.

Now perhaps we can see an end to people using their publishing platform as a completely shameless plug for their hidden agendas. TSK!

(The Holy Moly Rules of Modern Life Vol.1 is out in all good bookshops on October 21st.)

People I Don't Know Are Trying to Kill Me

MeatLoaf-style Subtitle: ....And People Who Have Known Me For Years Are Telling Them Where I Live.

And I'm betting he is almost certainly a mate of Neils.

Surely though, beyond the sarcasm and screams of 'cunt' any reasoned individual can see that in plain terms (and forgive me for stating the obv), writing a song/making a video concerning these events, going public and releasing a single into the commercial world is entirely inappropriate and given Neil's past credentials are you really that surprised at the overall tone of this thread Tim?

Would be great if Tim from Cardiacs posted here (ILX) as he is a stand up fellow, but sadly it's not.

Umm, maybe Bono was being nice? To his friend?

Neil: "Hey bono, wanna hear a song I did?"
B: "umm, ,..... sure..."
(after)
B: ".. yeah... people should hear it... oh my phone's on vibrate..."

"He’s the walking joke that doesn’t know its own punchline. He’s “good friends” with flag-waving hair-weaving stadium pygmy Bono (by the way, is the new iPod Nano named after him?). People he doesn’t know are trying to kill him. He’s Neil McCormick.

At the Robbie Williams album playback this week, our man with an ego the size of Kettering and a self-awareness the size of his grey, maggoty little cock, was stomping around, yammering on and on about himself.

Neil hijacked (isn’t hijacking a ‘form of terrorism’, Neil?) the whole event to talk about HIS OWN SINGLE, plus his book. He concluded - to Robbie and a flabbergasted studio - with the following quote tumbling uninvited from his leprous lips:

"Well Robbie, at least I've had a track on an album featuring Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen.""

I remember this.

Who was "Tim Smith" then?

Used to live with a guy called Tim Smith, he was hallucinated an entire conversation with Mr Scruff while on acid.

"Well Robbie, at least I've had a track on an album featuring Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen.""

Worst Zing Evah? What's the opposite of "pwned" ?

Emancipated.

If memory serves this McCormick was the bass player in a late-period line up of, I think, 18 Wheeler. Seriously.

Or maybe it was (Perspex) Whiteout, now that I think about it. One of the two anyway.

Oh blimey, Whiteout. Nearly forgotten them completely...

Apologies for preventing that from happening.

Another year and it would have. Never mind. Accepted.

He was in a terrible 'power pop' outfit called Yeah! Yeah! - love those exclamation marks - in Dublin in the early eighties and wrote tweely for Hot Press.

"Whiteout? Are you sure you don't mean Whitehouse?"

This guy vs The Guardian.

Geir vs ILM.

the title would be good if it were by Wesley Willis

Neil has opinions!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/11192852/Why-none-of-these-albums-deserves-to-win-the-Mercury-Prize.html

the People I Don't Know Are Trying To Kill Me video doesn't seem to be on the internet anymore ;_;

You keep waiting for Gorillaz to storm the studio and stick a rocket up his posterior.

so we just repost every line of this piece in italics one bit at a time then?

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