rock & roll hootchie haiku

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Whiskey bottle
Brand new car
Oak tree you're in my way

(the meter can vary)

― Luke Havergal, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not a haiku. Meter can vary, but syllables are 5-7-5. Like so:

Pedantic Asshole
Corrects a Stranger' Verse
On the Internet

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, that is:

Pedantic asshole
Corrects a stranger's verse
On the Internet

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:37 (twenty-one years ago)

for a more tragic rock feel:

Overdosed drummer
Floating in the swimming pool
Choked on own vomit

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

syllables are 5-7-5

cor-rects-a-stran-gers-verse = 6

― ahem, Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

would you believe 'poem'?

good catch.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Listening to Suede
Film star - what a crazy song!
Influenced White Stripes?

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

KISS's best album
Ask Alex in N-Y-C
Its Elder for me

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Which version is best
From Derringer or Winter
Hoochie-Koo Debate

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Frankly I'm amazed
That Matt Cibula didn't
Begin this here thread

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you heard the news?
There's good rockin' at midnight.
Gonna hold my baby.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

D'oh!

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Your guitar's too high
Lengthen the strap a little
More more more that's it

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Tuesday, 29 March 2005 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

indie shoe gazers are
mostly sallow, need more sun
spandex would help too

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

VegemiteGrrl
Is a saucy Aussie lass
Who likes the rock stuff

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 00:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Ned is a boy who
sneaks up on me when I am
sure no-one is watching

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

all you poseurs get
back in line for gubmint cheese
THE MASTER IS BACK

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:54 (twenty-one years ago)

sly never outdid
'i'm on a trip to your heart'--
but then no one did

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:58 (twenty-one years ago)

full moon's tawny light
I was born to walk alone
yea, like a drifter

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

we both gasped in awe:
prince naked on purple sheets!
then we so made out

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

'the wonderful and
frightening world of the fall':
aural lysol douche

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

all that dude would say
about phife's solo mixtape
was 'wack on both sides'

(i stole that joke)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

argh mike reno's ass!
everywhere...haunting me...
nineteen eighty one

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

do not ask for whom
that insane clock necklace tolls;
it tolls for thee BOING

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Mike Reno was tough
He's got to do it his way
Or no way at all

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Mike Reno was down
on his knees, making love to
whoever he please

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Remember the time
in the closet, off the wall?
Heal the world. Shamone!

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

all I know of life
I learned from sir isaac hayes
true guerrilla pimp

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

My mama loves me
Down on her knees, she hugs me
Loves me like a rock

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you went uptown
riding in your limousine -
Park Avenue clothes

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

If you said bye to
Me tonight there would still
Be music left write

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Austin you've not only failed at the rules you set out but those rules are wrong. Haikus don't have to be 5-7-5. They do, however, need a break, or breath, or caesura or whatever the fuck you want to call it, after the first, or second, line. For starters. You can't just choose a sentence with 17 syllables and call it a haiku. For fuck's sake!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

haha!

it's like a jungle
sometimes it makes me wonder
how i keep from go

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 05:36 (twenty-one years ago)

wing understands beak
eyes call to the feet and say
"bock bock! chicken chick-"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 05:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I never heard of no haiku that lacked the 5-7-5 pattern, but I'm willing to learn from someone who knows better than I do. Which could be almost anyone. Also, in my understanding each of the first two lines traditionally describes a different aspect of a single image and the third ties them together. But as I say - poetry in general ain't my strong suit.

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:02 (twenty-one years ago)

You gotta nice ass!
I like the way you walk girl!
Fries come with that shake?

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, I don't know why I got so exercised about it.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:05 (twenty-one years ago)

So...no duel at dawn then? Damnit!

― Austin Still (Austin, Still), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

when you're sitting back
in your rose pink cadillac
send me dead flowers

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Come along and ride
On a fantastic voyage
Slide slippity slide

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

And right now, right now
It's time to KICK OUT THE JAMS
BROTHERS AND SISTERS

― My name is Kenny (My name is Kenny), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:32 (twenty-one years ago)

there's a man outside
in a long coat, gray hat
smoking a cigarette

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 06:34 (twenty-one years ago)

all you poseurs get
back in line for gubmint cheese
THE MASTER IS BACK

-- Haikunym

Haikunym: Master?
Many agree; but ask me
I Beg2Differ

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 07:04 (twenty-one years ago)

When I was just a
Baby, my mama said don't
Ever play with guns

But I shot a man
Back in Reno, Nevada
Just to watch him die

And that train whistle
When I hear it blowin' I
Hang my head and cry

― Glading the Wanderer, Wednesday, 30 March 2005 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I can see for miles
I can see for miles and miles
Miles and miles and miles

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Master of Puppets
Pulled your strings twisted your mind,
smashed your dreams MASTER

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Life, it fades away
Drifting further everyday
Lost within myself

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 30 March 2005 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

Man in a trenchcoat
Badge out, laid-off, says "Bad cough"
Look out, kid - thing done.

― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 15 November 2005 06:14 (twenty years ago)

Morrissey and Marr
and Westerberg and Stinson.
Mick and Keef to thread.

― A|ex P@reene (Pareene), Tuesday, 15 November 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

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