100 Reasons Why "Ignition - Remix" Is So Damned Great

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

1. The rhythm is really insistent without being hard - it's got this sort of bossanova groove, just bubbling under the song, easing it gently but irresistably across

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:44 (6 years ago) Permalink

2. Writing a good "weekend" song is hard to pull off. I fear that the guy who prompted me to begin this thread will say "Nonsense! Anybody can write a good 'weekend' song!" When I see his "weekend" song on the charts, I will concede his point. Until then, I'll note that many, many "weekend" songs are released each year, but very few of them actually poke their heads above the surface. This is because most of them sound forced. R Kelly's greatest gift is his ability to sound natural; engaged; genuine. Even when he's singing in a very mannered fashion.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

3. How is this song in particular a good "weekend" song? For starters, there's the delay in mentioning the weekend. Note a shitty "weekend" song, Loverboy's "Working for the Weekend," for purposes of comparison, which shoots its entire wad in the chorus's first line & then has nothing compelling to say.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:48 (6 years ago) Permalink

4. Not so "Ignition - Remix." R Kelly delays the song's moment of revelation until the chorus's second to last line:

This is the remix to ignition
Hot and fresh out the kitchen
Mama rollin that body
Got evey man in her wishin
Sippin on coke and rum
I'm like so what I'm drunk
It's the freakin weekend baby
I'm about to have me some fun

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:50 (6 years ago) Permalink

5. I mean, Jesus Christ, you might as well fault Bob Marley's heartbreaking Wait In Vain because its substance is facile

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

6. "it's not rocket science" right right insofar as rocket science is boring

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:51 (6 years ago) Permalink

7. But to return to the lyric - what could be funnier than R Kelly's ongoing project of writing new lyrics in which to identify that the version you're hearing is a remix? Think R Kelly doesn't know that that's funny? Where the hell's my boy Trife, he knows what that kind of thinking is called: "racism."

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:53 (6 years ago) Permalink

8. Of course Kelly knows that it's funny to lead of a chorus with a line like "this is the remix to ignition." Kelly's whole persona, aside from his public/non-album one which has gotten completley away from him, is a greatly controlled, beautifully constructed thing. It's the good-time-lovin'/deep-thoughts-thinkin'/survived-it-and-came-to-tell-you-how-it-looks-from -the-mountaintop friend from your own neighborhood, assuming that your neighborhood was a poor neighborhood in the midwest. (More on this momentarily.) He knows his audience, and his audience wants him to keep it light when he's making a party song. That's what this is about.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 03:58 (6 years ago) Permalink

9. Here's where that "more on this momentarily" comes in. Your neighborhood probably wasn't Kelly's poor midwestern block, right? Wrong! Of course it was! Because he goes to great pains to universalize that neighborhood, not through long dull paragraphs like these you're presently reading, but by the miraculously casual tone in which he delivers songs that are anything but casual. Try "The World's Greatest": think there was no malice-of-forethought behind the "ad-libbed" part at the end where he substitutes "I done made it" for "I made it"? Think again. That's there by design. It sells you exactly what you're accusing Kelly doing accidentally: it convinces you (successfully, I'd add) that there's no artifice, no craft to it.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

10. Therefore, R Kelly has won and the terrorists have lost.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:02 (6 years ago) Permalink

11. The extra beat! The extra m*therfu*king BEAT! It's a held chord, is what it is, but it's the last thing you'd expect - right on the line "Bouncin' on 24s," right when you'd expect it to either go back to the tonic or jump into the chorus, and it just

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

12. hangs

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

13. there

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:06 (6 years ago) Permalink

14. And then we enter into the levels of reference again, which is where I get completely dizzy "Rollin' on 24s/while they say on the radio": what do they say? Oh, good God, they say what critical theory thought they'd say: "This is the remix to igntion"

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:08 (6 years ago) Permalink

15. which is to say that the song describes a party where they're listening to the radio play a song describing a party where they're listening to the radio playing a a song describing a party where they're listening to the radio playing a song describing a party and well you get the general idea

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

16. Which is joy itself! The song has absorbed its creators, its listeners, everybody!

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

17. I take back what I said earlier about the song being dumb

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

Holy crap.

― David Allen, Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:10 (6 years ago) Permalink

18. I'm saving the rest of this for tomorrow's Last Plane to Jakarta update, I have to be at work in seven hours (it's midnight now) and I can't stay up any later yammering on about a point as glaringly obvious as the greatness of this wonderful, wonderful song

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:11 (6 years ago) Permalink

you maniac

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:26 (6 years ago) Permalink

(if anybody's interested, I really will finish this tomorrow, will probably both post it here & to LPTJ - warning, it'll probably also include why "The World's Greatest" is also quite triffic)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:31 (6 years ago) Permalink

19) Rum and coke is severely underrated and underrepresented in the world of weekend party booty jams.

― scott seward, Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

yeah but then he mentions crystall and god knows that's overrepresented

― Brian the Snorf, Sunday, 15 June 2003 04:59 (6 years ago) Permalink

"Cristal," actually: personally I liked that weird moment that was all about Alize. Anyway, lovely, John, except the thing about "World's Greatest" is that he does that thing where suddenly he's turned into Sam Cooke, and while that's not nearly a bad thing I still have this reaction where I go "WTF, why is R Kelly turning to Sam Cooke?" and it distracts me from the song itself. (This also has to do with the fact that there's this guy who used to sing in the Chicago subways and was basically a really good Sam Cooke impersonator, and I start feeling like he's on the radio, and that's also disorienting.)

― nabisco (nabisco), Sunday, 15 June 2003 05:09 (6 years ago) Permalink

bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

― adam west (adamwest), Sunday, 15 June 2003 05:24 (6 years ago) Permalink

20. the vocal phrasing on the line "that's why I'm all up in ya grill/tryin' to get you to a hotel", hiccuping extra syllables out of the vowel sounds in a great rhythm which I've most definitely ripped off for a hi-hat pattern.

― Al (sitcom), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:12 (6 years ago) Permalink

21. in the car, 2 months ago:

me: is this a coke ad?

nancy: yeah, i think so.

me: this sure has been on a long time

nancy: yeah.

me: holy fuck, this is that r kelly song everyone on ilm is talking about!!

nancy: wow.

me: i hope they play it again.

nancy: yeah.

me: is THIS a coke commerical?

nancy: i'm really confused now.

― jess (dubplatestyle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:19 (6 years ago) Permalink

Yeah, Al, that's a good one.

22. Am I the only one who thinks he sounds like he's been through some shit on this song? Maybe that's my projecting real life onto the song. There's just way too much soul for a song about downing mix drinks, and you can almost here him trying. I mean, it sounds like he really needs to have fun this freakin' weekend or he's gonna stress out.

Actually, that's only in part of the song, and that juxtaposed with his obvious lust for partying has a great effect.

― Adam A. (Keiko), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

23) i played it at this party and everyone was juiced and all these punk rock girls sang along with the BUT SO WHAT IM DRUNK line!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 15 June 2003 06:34 (6 years ago) Permalink

It occurs to me I've not heard this song.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 15 June 2003 07:32 (6 years ago) Permalink

24. He spreads the melodies through the lines, in fact he carries the flow of a particular harmony across a whole verse like... er..... Dose One, I guess.

― nick.K (nick.K), Sunday, 15 June 2003 08:00 (6 years ago) Permalink

I like the colour scheme in the video - it stood out on MTV

'thru ma 'fro' - wordplay. sweet.

― s.r.w. (s.r.w.), Sunday, 15 June 2003 09:47 (6 years ago) Permalink

25. That synth line in the background of the chorus! It sounds like the Human League!

26. There's something about the production that sounds stripped down just enough so it seems to (cough) "bear the devices"--I'm thinking of the drum fills just before the chorus, and the aforementioned synth line, even the way he double-tracks his vocals ("Sippin' on coke and rum [rum]/I'm like so what I'm drunk [drunk]")....It's like each device calls a bit of attention to itself because the overall production is so sparse (by contemporary standards). Even the relatively langorous way he sings "bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce" (I take it she's bouncing very slowly) calls more attention to that word than a typical R&B/hiphop track where "bounce" would be one of a zillion instructions spit out in 20 seconds or less.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

27. The asides in the lyrics: "I'm like, 'So what...'"

28. The good grammar: "Food everywhere / as if the party was catered"

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

29. I have to say this song fills me with a slight bit of hometown pride (I know someone who went to R. Kelly's high school! etc.) despite his rather foul offstage behavior. I picture R. hanging out at one of those massive Jackson Park BBQs with ragga blasting out of 10-ft-high amps.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:23 (6 years ago) Permalink

30. "I don' normally do this but, uh..."

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:25 (6 years ago) Permalink

31. When in fact he does normally do this - unless there's some Ignition Mega-Mix 12" coming (we should all be so fortunate), Kelly is claiming that he doesn't normally release the remix at all, then saying he'll let you hear a little of it, and then just playing it.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:37 (6 years ago) Permalink

32. And, well - precisely: this is more of that quality Kelly brings to the table that has enabled him to stay strong at the cash register longer than many: it's the dreaded "A" word, you know, "authenticity," all the baggage that carries.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:39 (6 years ago) Permalink

33. Not the authenticity of "here's my soul," though that's in there, too, and more about it later. The authenticity of "here's what I got, seems good, I'm not gonna mess with it much more." The authenticity of sufficiency, not excellence. The authenticity of excellence is exactly why so many people vomit when other people start goin' on about authenticity.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

34. I'm like, so what, I'm drunk.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:42 (6 years ago) Permalink

35. But what we're going to have to come back to is what Nabisco brings up & it's where any hyperbole in which we've been engaging will really find its feet and start doing the Charleston. "WTF, why is R Kelly turning into Sam Cooke?" because R Kelly is Sam Cooke

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

36. OK I have to go to work now (it's a quarter 'til seven in the morning), everybody keep the reasons coming

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:46 (6 years ago) Permalink

Sam liked 'em young too. Hopefully R. will not share his ultimate fate however.

I'd like to hear R. get busy a capella like on the second track of Night Beat.

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

I have to drive 8 hours today and I haven't slept a wink!

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 15 June 2003 10:49 (6 years ago) Permalink

37. YOu don't even need to own a copy to hear it all the time, just turn on the radio, or if you live in the city open the window.

― nick.K (nick.K), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:07 (6 years ago) Permalink

38. i dislike it profusely

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:15 (6 years ago) Permalink

39. It makes me want to buy a shotgun.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:16 (6 years ago) Permalink

40. stevem and Alex are...The No-Fun Brigade!*

*I have also expressed the same feelings about this song, but I was wrong.

― Neudonym, Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:20 (6 years ago) Permalink

41. Because the video has a 360-degree shot of R.'s incredible braidwork, and a funny "white guy learns to dance" part, and shout-outs to dead homiez.

― Neudonym, Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:22 (6 years ago) Permalink

don't get me wrong - i don't think its THAT bad, i just have no real feeling for it at all thats the problem. it doesn't excite me, it doesn't make me smile or anything. i wouldn't dance or wave a bottle of beer to it. thats not a flaw on my part or a flaw on the part of the song. JOhn makes good points about the track that i appreciate. and if you're able to ignore the fact that R Kelly is a complete tosspot then more power to you.

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 15 June 2003 16:36 (6 years ago) Permalink

Skipping 218 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

this thread made me put the 4 hours of R. Kelly shit in my iTunes library on shuffle and it's really putting me in a good mood

― from 'your house' to 'your pussy.' (some dude), Thursday, 18 June 2009 05:34 (7 months ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

159.

― Dan Majerle and the Wailers (Whitey on the Moon), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:07 (6 months ago) Permalink

160. &

― trill ent. dudes get wiped down, totally (The Reverend), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:12 (6 months ago) Permalink

(I think that's worth at least two spots on this list)

― trill ent. dudes get wiped down, totally (The Reverend), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:12 (6 months ago) Permalink

I don't understand why the video of me dancing to Ignition - Remix in the backseat is not a youtube hit

― save your lover! (Z S), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:15 (6 months ago) Permalink

haha so dope

― king kongro (J0rdan S.), Friday, 17 July 2009 04:18 (6 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

161. It's an Al Green tribute without the slightest hint of reverence.

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 09:38 (5 months ago) Permalink

162. The way the original single of "Ignition" (not the remix) segued into "Now usually I don't do this, but...uh...go on head and break em off with a little previews of the remix" and played the whole first verse of the remix before fading out during the chorus.

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 09:50 (5 months ago) Permalink

like so:

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 09:52 (5 months ago) Permalink

I had never heard this song until earlier this week. It's pretty good!

― claws of jungle red (Stevie D), Friday, 28 August 2009 14:30 (5 months ago) Permalink

this is the best thread

― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Friday, 28 August 2009 14:44 (5 months ago) Permalink

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, August 28, 2009 9:50 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^ this is awesome!

― thomp, Friday, 28 August 2009 14:56 (5 months ago) Permalink

Yeah...IIRC the original was out for like 3 months before the remix, so it was like, you know it's coming, what does the rest of it sound like, etc.

― Mad Men on the BBS (some dude), Friday, 28 August 2009 15:07 (5 months ago) Permalink

^^^this

― horribly jaded internet person who takes nothing too seriously (The Reverend), Friday, 28 August 2009 21:41 (5 months ago) Permalink

OK guys so I'm OBSESSED with this song and realized I'm completely unacquainted with the R&B canon. Where should I start if I'm really into this (major-key harmonies, soulful falsetto, etc)?

― An adult loves to win awards (Stevie D), Saturday, 29 August 2009 16:46 (5 months ago) Permalink

to be honest i have no idea how to recommend something to you, because knowledge of this song is like a venn diagram overlap of every single human i know, so its kinda hard to know what R&B you actually know.

I recommend starting with an early 'rhythm and blues' compilation from the mid-20th century

― butthurt (deej), Sunday, 30 August 2009 03:11 (5 months ago) Permalink

woah i had never heard the "original" ignition before and i love it. remix is better but like, not even by that much. besides that "wiik wok wiik wok" guitar line during the chorus and the "bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce" i wouldn't have even thought the two songs were related. would've just assumed they were commonly reoccuring r kelly motifs.

― samosa gibreel, Sunday, 30 August 2009 03:54 (5 months ago) Permalink

OMG, I listened to this a few times in the past couple days, having been inspired to by this thread & it is like SUPERGLUE ON MY BRAIN - the chorus just keeps cycling over & over and then bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce..

Damn fine song, though, and deserving of all the recent praise.

― Pullman/Paxton Revolving Bills (Pillbox), Sunday, 30 August 2009 07:08 (5 months ago) Permalink

listening to Suga Free's Doe Doe and Skunk and it feels related. (great lil' slick song) (i looked for a Suga Free thread, but don't think it exists)

― Ludo, Sunday, 30 August 2009 08:53 (5 months ago) Permalink

toot toot / beep beep = ultimate payoff

― ABSOLUTELY NO SCRUBS WHATSOEVER, Monday, 31 August 2009 00:20 (5 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

ahhhh I listened to it with headphones for the first time and at the end of every line he layers his voice and it echoes and I can't even wax eloquent about it right now because I'm busy furiously clicking the repeat button

― Andrew Kornfan, Friday, 9 October 2009 06:31 (4 months ago) Permalink

163 by the way. wowza

― Andrew Kornfan, Friday, 9 October 2009 06:35 (4 months ago) Permalink

Such a great thread.

― Bill A, Friday, 9 October 2009 08:03 (4 months ago) Permalink

Single of the decade.

― Sickamous (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 9 October 2009 08:13 (4 months ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

164. It mixes over "Love Story" by Layo and Bushwacka surprisingly well, as long as you (sadly) take out the awesome hanging chord/extra beat leading into the chorus.

(Love this song, not my usual style but I love it.)

― dog latin, Friday, 22 January 2010 14:10 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

clearly one of my favorite songs of the decade.
one of the only that made me go "wow" the first time I heard it properly.
a kind of "love at first sight" thing !

― AlXTC from Paris, Friday, 22 January 2010 14:17 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Single of the decade.

― Sickamous (Scik Mouthy),

Clever.

― Blue Fucks Like Ben Nelson (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 January 2010 14:19 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

Haha

― brain thoughts (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 22 January 2010 14:21 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

I guess I must have dismissed it completely when it first came out (not a big R Kelly/r'n'b stan in general) but you can't mess with this.

― dog latin, Friday, 22 January 2010 15:01 (2 weeks ago) Permalink

GAH OMG totally just noticed the amazing piano bits in this song. It is so laid-back and wonderful and accentuates everything so perfectly. Shit this song just got like three times better.

― 26 Mixes Focaccia (Stevie D), Monday, 1 February 2010 07:33 (1 week ago) Permalink

what the hell is going on in the MJ videos?

― forksclovetofu, Monday, 1 February 2010 07:37 (1 week ago) Permalink

Ignition (Remix) is possibly my favourite song of all time. Wrote a piece about it/trapped in the closet for my university's magazine. S#pretty good:

R KELLY – MISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS

We all have topics of conversation that repeatedly come up after a few drinks. Mine include Motown (“Oh God, music will never get better than this!”), the work of Shane Meadows (“He just seems really down to earth, top bloke, having a pint with him would be rad!”) and, predominately, trying to persuade people that R. Kelly is a genius rather than a slightly grubby R’n’B star.

Earlier in the decade Kelly was accused to recording himself having sex with an underage girl. Not just regular sex though, oh no. The video allegedly showed him urinating on her. This is possibly why my argument rarely wins people over. Even though he was found guilty on all 14 charges it is hard to erase the case from the memory. And of course we must remember that back in 1994 he married the sadly deceased singer Aaliyah. When she was fifteen. And R had known her since she was twelve. However, I feel that as hard as it can be to do so, we have to separate the personal life from the material the artist produces. People still love Annie Hall and Chinatown regardless of the directors predilections, right?

Whatever you think about his music, it’s impossible to deny the fact that Robert Sylvester Kelly is one of the most fascinating characters in music today. He has managed to ride the waves of controversy that have dogged his career and still remains one of the biggest selling artists in America today. One of the most interesting things about him professionally is his willingness to reveal so much about himself. I remember reading an interview with him in Q magazine a few years back when he discussed the trouble he has in living with the R. Kelly persona that he has created. He said that sometimes he didn’t want to be this sex-loving, club-hopping star bur wanted to ‘just be Robert, the God loving family man (Kelly has three children from his marriage which dissolved at the start of the year). His songs mainly come in two flavours: the upfront sex fueled club banger and the introspective, almost embarrassingly open quiet ones. It’s the former category that appeals to me; if we take it that 95% of all pop music is, and always has been, about sex, then R. is the undisputed king of pop (as we live in the post-Jackson age someone has to take the title). No one writes about sex like he does. This is a man who has songs called ‘Sex Planet’, ‘Good Sex’ and ‘Bangin’ the Headboard;’, a man who sings lines like ‘Girl, I got you so wet it’s like a rainforest/Like Jurassic Park except I’m your sex-a-saurus baby’. You sense that this is a man who does not find sex shameful in any way; rather he is someone who embraces and celebrates everything about his own sexuality. I can’t think of another singer who would holler the line ‘We’re like two gorillas in the jungle baby makin’ love’ in such a matter of fact, un-ironic way.

When I raise the Kelly topic I’m often accused of having an ‘ironic’ liking of him. This is a concept that I don’t fully understand as I don’t subscribe to the notion of guilty pleasures. Irony, in this sense, is something that we use to create a sense of distance between something that we like but feel like we shouldn’t. We feel above the subject, as if our liking of it validates it somehow. There is nothing ‘ironic’ about my love of what is Kelly’s undoubted masterpiece, Ignition (Remix). The song, like so many others in his vast back catalogue, is about going out, having fun and, eventually, having sex. It is, and I have to admit at this point that I’m prone to hyperbole, one of the most joyful three minutes of music ever made. Ignition sounds like every good memory you have of nights out with friends condensed into one blissful sequence that doesn’t end with a hangover. From the moment Kelly intones that he ‘doesn’t usually do this…’ to the moment the vocal drops out and an almost celestial synth line waltzes in and out of the mix, it is a paean to joy. It’s also the last great song to hit the number one spot in the charts (though, in fairness, Yeah! By Usher comes close). Ignition (Remix) cemented Kelly’s position as master of the intro. His other great intro comes from the 1994 smash Bump n’ Grind, when he tells the girl he’s wooing that whilst his ‘mind is telling him no’ his body, his body ‘is telling me yes!’. The conviction in his delivery is almost frightening.

If I haven’t converted the person listening to me by droning on and on about Ignition (Remix) then I play the trump card: Trapped in the Closet, his 22 part hip-hopera. Trapped can easily be viewed as an absurd, pointless, repetitive mess that cannot sustain its narrative for long enough to make it watchable. This is, frankly, a load of rubbish. Trapped in the Closet is one of the defining pop-culture artifacts of the decade. It is in fact a lovingly crafted piece of drama that manages to be incredibly amusing whilst being knowingly silly. It is to Kelly’s credit that this knowingness does not become irritating at any point.

The plot is far too labyrinthine to be turned into a pithy synopsis, but essentially it deals with issues of fidelity, homosexuality, identity and masculinity. Set it in Spain, swap Kelly for Javier Bardem and you’ve got a Pedro Almdovar film. Incidentally, Trapped… shares Almodovar’s fetishization of the telephone. The characters sing-talk their way through a series of hilariously convulted and bizarre situations that involve gay couples, wife swapping and midget strippers. It’s the sheer oddness of the piece that makes it such compulsive vieiwing. Admittedly, some moments when seen in isolation, such as the infamous moment where it’s revealed that there is a man in the cupboard and that man is a midget, which seem laughably bad, but when viewed in order these moments of utter strangeness become oddly plausible.

At several points R. Kelly, who plays the central character Sylvester and several others (including an old drunk and ‘Pimp Lucious’ whose name tells you all you need to know about the character) interjects and comments on the events. This breaking of the fourth wall is obviously a reference to dramatist Bertolt Brecht’s alienation techniques as well as Austrian director Michael Haneke’s classic 1997 film Funny Games. These interjections exemplify the blurring of fiction and reality within the piece that make it so great. The characters are constantly trying to ascertain what exactly has happened to the other characters and work out possible outcomes. There’s even an utterly abstract commentary section wherein R Kelly is sat in a chair pretending to watch the episodes whilst he talks about them as if they were real. He goes on to claim that people often ask him if it’s based on his own experiences and he says that whilst it isn’t it ‘takes a few chapters from real life,’ a statement that makes me realize how mundane my own life is.

Homosexuality is a theme not often explored in the world of ‘urban’ music and it is admirable that Kelly makes two gay characters, Rufus (a pastor) and Chuck (a deacon) two of his main characters. They are not presented as camp but as two ‘normal’ men who fell in love with each other but have to keep this love secret because society would not, they feel, accept it. The fact that both men work for the church adds an interesting frisson to the relationship.

Ok, enough theorizing. The main reason why I love Trapped in the Closet so much is because it’s laugh out loud funny. There are too many good moments to mention but personal highlights include: Sylvester stopping his wife from having sex with because he’s got a cramp in his leg, the rhyming of ‘Rufus and Chuck’ with ‘what the fuck’ (I should mention that the swearing in the piece is absolutely exquisite; every ‘fuck’ and ‘motherfucker’ is a work of art) and the midget literally crapping himself in terror.

Trapped in the Closet is the work of a man who, seemingly, does not care what people think of him. It is an irresistible hour and a half that confirms R. Kelly’s place as one of the most important pop-culture figures working today. Just try not to think about I Believe I Can Fly.

JOSH BAINES

― Dwight Yorke, Monday, 1 February 2010 10:55 (1 week ago) Permalink

'Even though he was found guilty on all 14 charges it is hard to erase the case from the memory'
^unfortunate typo

― Popture, Monday, 1 February 2010 11:12 (1 week ago) Permalink

oops!

― Dwight Yorke, Monday, 1 February 2010 11:17 (1 week ago) Permalink

just me or is there a touch of autotune on "mama, ROLLIN that body"

sorta wish it wasn't there but eh whatcha gon do

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 1 February 2010 11:38 (1 week ago) Permalink

Nice article Dwight Yorke!

― dog latin, Monday, 1 February 2010 11:54 (1 week ago) Permalink

― ecuador_with_a_c, Monday, 1 February 2010 16:13 (1 week ago) Permalink

that was a lot better than a university

― LRN, which helps companies build ethical cultures (bernard snowy), Monday, 1 February 2010 16:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

er fuck, my finger slipped

post should say: "that was a lot better than a university magazine article entitled 'R.Kelly: Misunderstood Genius' has any right to be"

― LRN, which helps companies build ethical cultures (bernard snowy), Monday, 1 February 2010 16:46 (1 week ago) Permalink

i can never hear the hanging chord in this btw

― plaxico (I know, right?), Monday, 1 February 2010 18:06 (1 week ago) Permalink

it's just an extra measure - it comes right before the chorus - you sorta think the chorus should kick in sooner than it actually does and it leaves you hangin for a second

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 1 February 2010 18:09 (1 week ago) Permalink

Thanks, LRN. I think?

― Dwight Yorke, Monday, 1 February 2010 19:41 (1 week ago) Permalink

xxp I can't hear it either!!

― 26 Mixes Focaccia (Stevie D), Monday, 1 February 2010 19:49 (1 week ago) Permalink

Yeah, it's not really a hanging chord. As Tracer says it's that little bit before the chorus where you hear R say "yeah, c'mon". It delays the chorus coming in slightly, making for false anticipation and breaking from the 4/4 tradition. It's very clever actually, and was what drew me to the song in the first place.

― dog latin, Monday, 1 February 2010 19:55 (1 week ago) Permalink

Are you talking about when he says "that's why they say it on the radio" bit? the extra measure?

― 26 Mixes Focaccia (Stevie D), Monday, 1 February 2010 20:01 (1 week ago) Permalink

I would wager money that R. Kelly has no idea that Brecht and Haneke exist.

― PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Monday, 1 February 2010 20:03 (1 week ago) Permalink

Or I guess it's half a measure depending on how you count the BPM

― 26 Mixes Focaccia (Stevie D), Monday, 1 February 2010 20:03 (1 week ago) Permalink

ignition (single, not remix):

― ┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐ (Steve Shasta), Monday, 1 February 2010 20:10 (1 week ago) Permalink

Pies Pies Pies: I was trying to be funny. I liked the idea of Kells watching Funny Games. S'not meant to be a wholly serious piece.

― Dwight Yorke, Monday, 1 February 2010 22:33 (1 week ago) Permalink

haha okay that does make me feel better because that section, esp. in the context of the rest of the piece, was really making me go o_O

― PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Monday, 1 February 2010 22:45 (1 week ago) Permalink

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.