Why Rock Music IS Dead.

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*Rock Music Is For The Brainless & Socially Inept*

Well its true. Rock music is beloved of lager louts who follow oasis, meatheads who like metal(the worst genre known to man)
Rock fans/bands think theyre superior than anyone else, but really they're dinosaurs who shouldnt have made music since the 1970's.
Guitar music is redundant. Only loved by the spotty teenager and those who have never went beyond puberty.
Synths and new technology have made it outdated. Theres no good or innovative rock music now.
Omly the working classes bother with it now.

― Terry Dallas, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:07 (twenty-one years ago) link

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― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

but, but, but, surely Sum 41 will save us all!?

― Curtis Stephens, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Omly"??

― JasonD (JasonD), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

Omly the loamly

― weatheringdaleson (weatheringdaleson), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

i like rock music because i have never went beyond puberty

― unknown or illegal user (doorag), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

I omce went trolling and I caught a bass.
True story.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

I do not like the rock music.

― Rockist Scientist, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 20:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

But this is pop yeah yeah!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 21:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

1. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed.
2. Get Your Tongue Otta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
3. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure.
4. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? (A
PERSONAL FAVORITE OF MINE)
5. I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me? (A PERSONAL
FAVORITE OF MINE)
6. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.
7. I Got In At 2 With a 10, And Woke Up At 10 With a 2
8. I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine. (A PERSONAL
FAVORITE OF MINE)
9. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't
Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.
10. I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You.
11. I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
12. I Still MIss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
13. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.
14. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite.
15. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.
16. I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over You.
17. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You.
18. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now.
19. Mama Get A Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head).
20. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus.
21. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him.
22. Please Bypass this Heart.
23. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger.
24. You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly.
25. I Can't Fly My Kite No More Cause My Wife Won't Give Me Any Tail.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 21:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

(TS: Choking the Troll vs Mot Choking the troll)

How to be a Great Prog-Rock Reviewer
In 10 Easy Steps
===========================================

Reviewing progressive rock albums can be simple. Are you
tired of
> > agonizing over the right words to use? Confused about your
subject
> > matter?
> > Or are you just a lazy pig? Then use the following tips, and
prog rockers
> > everywhere will believe your every word. Trust me. Each tip is
followed
> > by
> > an example so you can see exactly how it's done.
> >
> > (1) In every review, you MUST praise the Mellotron. Always
describe it
> > using the word "wash."
> >
> > "Gentile Goyim's keyboardist, Kerry Mayonnaise, treats the
listener
> > to spectacular, warm washes of everybody's favorite
Mellotron."
> >
> > FOR BONUS POINTS, also mention the Hammond B-3, and imply
violence.
> >
> > "Greg Palmer's raw, two-fisted Hammond work pierces the
listener's
> > eardrums with sonic knives."
> >
> > EXTRA BONUS POINTS if you mention either of these
instruments, and
> > they
> > don't actually appear in the music.
> >
> > "On the road, King Creampuff's keyboard setup consists of
grand
> > piano, harpsichord, and several analog synths, but strangely,
no
> > Mellotron."
> >
> > (2) Any band that uses cello automatically gets a rave review.
For bonus
> > points, use the word "haunting."
> >
> > "As the music fades, a haunting solo cello appears out of
nowhere,
> > accompanied by a trio of Mellotrons, washing away."
> >
> > Subtract ten points if you compare the music to "Eleanor
Rigby."
> >
> > (3) If the music has flute in it, compare it to Jethro Tull. It
doesn't
> > matter that the music is really death metal, chanting monks,
or atonal
> > birdsong: YOU MUST MENTION TULL. For extra points, mention
Camel
> > too.
> >
> > "Paraan's music features Hyperia Gomez on flute, inviting
comparison
> > to Jethro Tull or Camel, even though the flute's main use is
as a
> > handy mallet to bang several large gongs."
> >
> > (4) You don't have to bother describing the music. Just list the
> > instruments
> > and let the reader imagine the rest.
> >
> > "From out of New Zealand comes Genghis Ka-Ka, one of the
finest prog
> > bands I've ever heard. If you are a fan of acoustic guitar,
> > haunting cello, and explosive, annihilating Hammond B-3, you
MUST
> > check out this album."
> >
> > (5) Mention the length of at least one song. Extra points if you
call it
> > an
> > "opus."
> >
> > "Side 2 of the album is completely taken up by 'Ode to
Bowser', a
> > 22-minute magnum opus based on the theme from 'My Dog Has
Fleas.'"
> >
> > (6) Casually mention the name of an extremely obscure band that
one of the
> > musicians used to play in, making your reader feel REALLY
stupid or
> > disloyal for not knowing it.
> >
> > "... featuring Sergio Blammobarpher, whom fans will no doubt
recall
> > as the charismatic ex-triangle player from ubiquitous
Icelandic
> > proggers Hund Extinctski Thirstifollicle."
> >
> > THE CUNEFORM COROLLARY: put completely obscure band names in
> > parentheses
> > for extra points.
> >
> > "Rounding out the group's sound is Bridgid Kirsch
(Dootwhapper,
> > B'nai Gwelzh) on freshly washed Mellotron."
> >
> > (7) The Syn-Phonic Rule: Praise every album by calling it the
"best"
> > example of a totally contrived category. Don't forget the
exclamation
> > points.
> >
> > * Museo Rubenstein, PASTAFAZOOL ($18). Possibly the ultimate
Eskimo
> > bassoon band of all time!!!!
> >
> > (8) If a progressive album features very long, drawn-out,
incredibly
> > repetitive, boring instrumentals, call it "space music."
> >
> > "Space rockers Mimsy Borogoves specialize in atmospheric
drones that
> > last upwards of four hours before switching notes."
> >
> > (9) Use abbreviations known only to seasoned proggers.
> >
> > "Zyzzyva's music is a thrilling blend of PFM, HTM, RIO, TNR,
ZNR,
> > and PDQ Bach."
> >
> > (10) Every keyboard/bass/drums trio MUST be compared to ELP.
> > Every quiet, symphonic prog album MUST be compared to PER UN
AMICO.
> > All raw, loud music MUST be compared to King Crimson's RED.
> > All counterpoint MUST be compared to Gentle Giant. Bonus
points if
> > it
> > sounds nothing like Gentle Giant.
> > Every "old Genesis style" band MUST be compared to
Marillion, not
> > Genesis.
> > Every male vocalist with a high voice MUST be compared to
Jon
> > Anderson.
> > Every female vocalist, regardless of range or style, MUST be
compared
> > to
> > Annie Haslam.
> > Every band that uses sudden, unpredictable tempo and time
signature
> > changes MUST be compared to Barry Manilow.
> >
> > "Angled Guard, Sweden's newest prog sensation, combines the
beauty
> > of PER UN AMICO with the rawness of RED, producing a
progressive,
> > symphonic extravaganza that could only have come from
Marillion.
> > Lead singers Jon Haslam and Annie Anderson are pictured on the
album
> > cover, inserting twin flutes up Barry Manilow's nose... taking
the
> > instrument far beyond anything Camel and Tull ever did."

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 21:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Little Golden Books That Never Made It"

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
8. Some Kittens Can Fly
9. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
10. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
11. Strangers Have the Best Candy
12. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
13. You Were an Accident
14. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
15. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
16. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
17. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 21:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

And this jem from Masonic Boom even. I got years of this crap saved up.
---Radio Free Mason wrote:
>
> Brian Merkley wrote:
> >
> > The reason the great Tragically Hip can charge 19.55 for tickets
relative
> > to 25 or whatever for sloan is could also be related to the venue.
> >
> > Tragically Hip
> > 19.55 x 5000 = approx $98,000
> >
> > Sloan
> > 25 x 2000 = $50,000
>
> Very good guess, Mr. Merkley. But not the entire story. You see, those
> are GROSS profits. Figuring out the actual net profit is a far more
> complicated set of calculations than most people even dream of.
>
> Let us start with an elementary lesson in Sound Reinforement. Please
be
> so kind as to follow me into your local music store... here we have
a 20
> watt amp capable of producing a sound that will annoy your mum in the
> kitchen downstairs, with a pricetag of $100. Next to it is a 50 watt
amp
> capable of annoying your next door neighbors two doors down, with a
> pricetag of $250.
>
> The exact difference between these two amps is expressed in a unit of
> measurement called a TUFNEL, roughly the annoyance level (measured in
> dB) divided by the dollar amount, multiplied by the inverse of the
Price
> of Eggs in China. or... (dB/$)*(1/PeC)
>
> Now, if it were simply a question of how many Tufnels it took to raise
> the volume one louder to fill the larger hall, we could simply stop
> there, and adjust the price of your ticket accordingly.
>
> TH- 19.95 x 5000 = ~95,000 - (500 Tufnels @ $40) = $75,000 net profit
> Sloan- 25 x 2000 = $50,000 - (200 Tufnels @ $50) = $40,000 net profit
>
> But wait, kids... that's not all. There is a little known
audio-economic
> theorem known as the Malkmus Effect, discovered first in the early
'90s.
> The Malkmus Theorem states that amazingly enough, "Old Fans" of a band
> actually, literally absorb more sound during a performance than do
"New
> Fans". (and yes, there is an exact mathematical formula for
determining
> whether a person is a "New" or "Old" fan, based on number of years
> "into" the band, records owned, shows attended and the 'Indie Cred
> Factor at Attained Age', all divided by the number of Duran Duran
> records hidden at the back of the closet.)
>
> Actual tests have shown that a room full of 100 "New Fans" in a room
> where a band are playing will absorb an average of between 10 and 20
> Tufnels, while an equivalent room full or 100 "Old Fans" may absorb
> anywhere up to *100* Tufnels. That means some members of the audience
> may be absorbing up to A FULL TUFNEL OF SOUND EACH!!!
>
> Someone either on this list, or on the MessageBoard was mentioning, in
> review of the Chicago show, that it sounded as if either Jay's guitar
> may have been undermixed, or Patrick's distortion may have been too
> high. Actually, neither of these were the case- this person was
> *actually* experiencing the Malkmus Effect, literally sucking the
sound
> of Jay's guitar RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR.
>
> You can imagine how complicated this all gets. It is a little known
fact
> that, hidden away in floors of anonymous skyscrapers in NYC, L.A. and
> T.O., are thousands of record company employees doing complicated
> demographic unit-shifting product enhancement target audience
surveys to
> determine *exactly* how many Tufnels a band can output for certain
> ticket prices.
>
> (This may go to partially explain why bands or record companies in
> financial distress may deliberately go out of their way to *alienate*
> their "Old Fans"- they simply can no longer *afford* the Tufnel level
> output required to satisfy them.)
>
> Now let's look at that equation again:
>
> Sloan- 25 x 2000 = $50,000 - (200 Tufnels @ $50) = $40,000 net profit
>
> assuming an equal division of New Fans and Old fans...
> 1000 New Fans (100 Tufnels @ $50) = $ 5000
> 1000 Old Fans (1000 Tufnels @ $50) = $50000
>
> After a show like this, each member of Sloan may leave the building
> *OWING* their sound engineer $1250!!!!
>
> My god! I am shocked and horrified!
>
> I propose that we immediately start a charity named the Sloan Relief
> Fund to help assuage this problem! Send me $5 (tax deductable, of
> course) and I will make sure that your favourite member of Sloan gets
> adequately bathed and fed, and in return for your troubles, you will
get
> a pin that says "I Saved A Starving Sloan!"

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 21:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

NEW VIRUS WARNING
>
> If you receive an E-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it
> immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous E-mail
> virus yet.
>
> It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble
> any disks that are even close to your computer.
>
> It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
> cream melts and milk turns to curdles.
>
> It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram
> your ATM access code, mess up the tracking on your VCR and use
> subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will
> give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
> antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your Pepsi and leave
> its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
>
> It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere
> with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in
> traffic. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will
> replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while
> dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their
> expensive haute cuisine to your Visa card.
>
> Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the hairdryer
> plugged-in dangerously close to a full and overflowing bathtub. It
> will wantonly remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
> pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and
> subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying. It is also a rather
> interesting shade of mauve. It will even blow all of your leaves and
> snow into your neighbor's yard with a note attached that you did it.
> These are just a few signs. Be very, very afraid.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 21:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

you forgot, cum stains on my pillow remind me of you

― Queen G (Queeng), Tuesday, 24 December 2002 22:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

OH MY GOD, ZAC, I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU SAVED THAT!!! BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!

thanks for that blast from the past. i had honestly forgotten about the tufnel and the malkmus effect.

― kate, Tuesday, 24 December 2002 23:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

mad props to n0rm4n's first post.

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 02:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

I have just had a "Road to Damascus" conversion. I have renounced my old religion (Amway) and now worship at the feet of Mr Noodles.
Come chant with me.

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 02:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

But but all the best dance music has lots of guitars in it!

― Dan I., Wednesday, 25 December 2002 02:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

alternate thread title: 'why ilm is dead'

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 02:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

:,(

― geeta (geeta), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 02:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

Best thread ever.

Response to original poster: Holy fucking shit. I'm truely amazed you have the basic motor skills required to operate a computer.

― David Allen, Wednesday, 25 December 2002 07:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

I killed it, and I'd do it again, because it refused to go to med school

― lenny bruce, Wednesday, 25 December 2002 13:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

Up yours, Terry! To quote Lester Bangs, Go eat a bowl of fuck! Here's wishing you a vile X-mas!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 16:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

I think someone overestimated how pop-biased ILM is. SCHOOPID!

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Wednesday, 25 December 2002 17:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

If an evil being were to take over my body, I'd have rewrote this to read:

*Pop Music Is For The Soulless & Emotionally Infantile*

Well its true. Pop music is beloved of prissy girly drink posuers who follow Britney, ninnies who like microhouse(the worst genre known to man) Pop fans/bands think theyre superior than anyone else, but really they're dinosaurs who shouldnt have made music since the 1940's.
Electronic music is redundant. Only loved by the spotty 14-year olds and those who have never went beyond kindergarden.
"grown up music" has made it outdated. Theres no good or innovative pop music now.
Omly the working classes bother with it now.

― ultimate shlongdong (ultimate shlongdong), Thursday, 26 December 2002 21:43 (twenty-one years ago) link

Rock music's death seems to be because of it's popularity. When something becomes big and accepted it attracts the less interested music fans. I can't respond to the working class comments... didn't they have an important role in the evolution of popular music across the board. Hip hop, house, rock, psychodelia, garage etc

However electronica in all it's forms is hardly a ghetto of intellectual superiority.

Most dance clubs are hardly moving to the blips and bleeps of Pole... most are an abundance of E'd cheesy quavers who want hedonism and good times, not cultural significance from a night out. Some of them are even working class

― sonicred (sonicred), Sunday, 29 December 2002 12:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Graham, Delete ILM please!

REASONS WHY UNIVERSITY IS LIKE PRESCHOOL:

1. You cry for your mother.
2. You cross the street without looking for cars.
3. Snack time is a necessity.
4. YOu bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like
(because everyone else looks as stupid as you).
5. You stay at home and play games with you friends.
6. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
7. You wear big mittens.
8. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity.
9. You take naps (lots of them).
10. You look forward to grilled chees sandwiches.
11. You begin to play with your food again (especially if it moves).
12. You don't clean your room (still).
13. You doodle on your homework.
14. You keep saying, "I wanna go home!"

I told you, if your going to feed the troll feed it shit.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Sunday, 29 December 2002 18:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Graham, Delete ILM please!
Why? He just got done FIXING it ferchrissakes!

I told you, if your going to feed the troll feed it shit.
I thought that 'chocolate pudding' smelled a bit 'off'. Thats why I stuck to the butterscotch.

― Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Sunday, 29 December 2002 20:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

the working class comment was probably the only truly false thing mr. dallas said, but "that's neither here nor there" or something

― rr, Sunday, 29 December 2002 21:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

alex in nyc, lester bangs was the king of "rock is dead"!

― rr, Sunday, 29 December 2002 21:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/files/062302-46/48429-za010.jpg

― d k (d k), Sunday, 29 December 2002 21:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

You'd be amazed what Norfolk can do to the color of your stools.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Sunday, 29 December 2002 23:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

one year passes...

Rock Music is Immortal and Timeless.

― LEOnator, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:35 (nineteen years ago) link

you kinda had a decent point to at least argue (even if its not true/ever going to be agreed with on this board) until the last sentence.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:42 (nineteen years ago) link

I have eyes the size of saucers and teeth as long as dinner knives.

― sexyDancer, Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:42 (nineteen years ago) link

my reply was reponding to the initial post.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Thursday, 19 August 2004 19:43 (nineteen years ago) link

seven years pass...

Rock music suffered its poorest album sales for eight years in 2011, the Official Charts Company has revealed.
Seven of the top 10 best-selling albums of last year were classed as pop records, with Adele and Bruno Mars both crossing the million sales mark.
Only two entries in the top 10 were rock and indie albums - Ed Sheeran's + and Coldplay's Mylo Xyloto.
Overall, rock music albums accounted for 31.2% of total music sales last year, down from 29.4% in 2010.
The figures represent the poorest year for the genre since 2003.
Artists and label bosses have previously told Newsbeat they're worried about the lack of new guitar bands being signed in the UK.
Sales of pop records rose to 33.6% last year - the highest share for the genre since 1999.
Adele led the way as her album 21 became the best-selling album of the 21st century so far.
Other British acts to achieve high sales in 2011 included Jessie J, Olly Murs and Noel Gallagher.
Rihanna had two entries in the end-of-year chart, with combined sales of Loud and Talk That Talk exceeding 1.5 million.
The best-selling albums of 2011 were:
1. Adele - 21
2. Michael Buble - Christmas
3. Bruno Mars - Doo-wops & Hooligans
4. Adele - 19
5. Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto
6. Rihanna - Loud
7. Lady Gaga - Born This Way
8. Jessie J - Who You Are
9. Ed Sheeran - +
10. Rihanna - Talk That Talk
11. Amy Winehouse - Lioness: Hidden Treasures
12. Olly Murs - In Case You Didn't Know
13. Cee-Lo Green - The Lady Killer
14. Noel Gallagher - Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds
15. Take That - Progress

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/16577226

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

and have a read at http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/16466803 too

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

Hmmm, in the US, sales increased last year for the first time since 2004, mostly thanks to Adele.

― The Reverend, Monday, 16 January 2012 18:45 (twelve years ago) link

ROOTING FOR THE SHINS IN 2012

― timellison, Monday, 16 January 2012 18:45 (twelve years ago) link

Adele isn't allowed to be Rock in the UK cos she's a woman

― little blue souvenir (Noodle Vague), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:46 (twelve years ago) link

i think the reason noone is signing rock bands here is because all the major labels got burned by all those shitty 'landfill indie' bands they signed. And the punters got fed up with it too.

still, I'm sure the same rock is still alive argument will be around in 5 years and rock is dead in about 10.

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:48 (twelve years ago) link

music is very x-factor driven at the moment but things can change quickly

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:49 (twelve years ago) link

hip hop sales are probably at a low here too but of course that wont last either.

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:50 (twelve years ago) link

Indie rock also apparently dead or dying.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2012/jan/16/indie-rock-slow-painful-death

― White Chocolate Cheesecake, Monday, 16 January 2012 18:54 (twelve years ago) link

"Rock is dead" argument dates back to punk doesnt it with all of the rockism/antirockism stuff? I know I was exposed to a lot of "Rock is Dead" blather when I was growing up in the 90s reading SPIN magazine*...

*didn't necessarily get it from that magazine; I just think its a hip contrarian stance for people who are impatient for the Next Big Thing who don't realize that the essence of Rock's lasting power is its virus-like modernism, its ability to combine with anything

― incredible shrinking man on euphonium (Drugs A. Money), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:54 (twelve years ago) link

And let's note that, because of Spotify and YouTube, sales figures aren't the only measure of success.

deej to thread!

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:57 (twelve years ago) link

The backlash has been annihilating. Post-landfill, the traditional music-press whoop that a band is "ready for arenas" (translation: they suddenly sound a bit like U2) is often just wishful thinking – Razorlight and Glasvegas went for the big time and saw their sales collapse. Bands that only recently enjoyed platinum sales (Kaiser Chiefs, Klaxons, the View) have fallen on hard times. And then there's the unfortunately named Viva Brother, who went from hype to oblivion in a matter of months last year.
If it's all cyclical then a Strokes-like shot in the arm should be imminent but three years after Guardian writer Peter Robinson accurately declared the death of landfill indie there's no sign of one. The Vaccines were 2011's only indie breakthroughs but they haven't kickstarted any movement. So what if it's a long-term trend? The Radio 1 playlist, and hence the top 40, is more deadeningly conservative than anybody can remember, dominated by an oligarchy of collaboration-happy artists (Rihanna, Bruno Mars, David Guetta, Pitbull, Jessie J), most of whom converge on the same R&B-goes-to-Ibiza template. Go hunting for guitars in 2011's top 100 biggest-selling singles and you'll find only Coldplay, Ed Sheeran and Noah and the Whale. Until Radio 1 gets over its post-landfill revulsion, that's how it will stay, as it still takes a hit single to push an album above a certain level.

its radio 1s fault then?

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Monday, 16 January 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link

Skipping 127 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

eh you go wrong w/ the word 'rock fans'. that stopped meaning something in like...the 70s. can fans of a smaller genre in the rock tradition agree about some band as much as rap fans agree on jay-z? yes. no doubt.

― iatee, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 05:04 (twelve years ago) link

well of course if you narrow it down to some smaller fanbase of some more specific subgenre you might arrive at consensus. that's my point.

― some dude, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 05:05 (twelve years ago) link

'rock' is nothing but subgenres at this point so there is no such thing as 'rock fans'

― iatee, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 05:06 (twelve years ago) link

yes...which also supports my point

― some dude, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 05:06 (twelve years ago) link

I personally don't think rock is 'dead' in any meaningful way, partly because i think the above things make it MORE interesting, i'm just saying those factors can be interpreted in the opposite way. it's all perception.

― some dude, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 05:07 (twelve years ago) link

Do those dudes who formed Mr Dream post on ILM?

― billstevejim, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 07:04 (twelve years ago) link

that was a joke

― billstevejim, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 07:10 (twelve years ago) link

from the guardian comments

Kingkerouac
17 January 2012 11:51AM
I don't mind kids getting into the 'Urban' sound at all really.
But I draw the line at Metal.
We fought the punk wars to defeat the shite you can see on show on TOTP 1976/77 currently on BBC3.
But among the collaborators were the limp, reactionary forces of metal.
I don't accept that Led Zep were metal. Or Hendrix.
But people are actually listening to Black Sabbath records. Why?
Braindead bollocks!
Metal was conservative and dull. Iron Maiden T-shirts seemd to be the uniform of every DHSS staff memeber during the 80s. Some rebellious attitude eh?

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:08 (twelve years ago) link

you really are incapable of talking about anything else, aren't you

― some dude, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:10 (twelve years ago) link

lol

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:17 (twelve years ago) link

I brought up Nickelback not bcz they're some symbol of rock's vitality & cultural dominance but bcz I think whatever hair-metal revival Kerr was talking about is going to resemble the latter part of their career (or maybe them mixed with Bowie in Labyrinth)

I mentioned R Marx bcz I think '87 is kind of analogous, of course you still had U2 making the Joshua Tree and a bunch of Britrock dinosaurs doing soul homages and rocking the adult contemporary vibe, but I think lots thought that rock was p much an outdated mode. of course by 89 there was GnR and by 91 there was Nirvana, and another 10-15 years of 'uncontested dominance' from whatever you want to call 'rock'

so to sum up: yep I'm still butthurt about ship's whole "keep dreamin that dream bro"

― incredible shrinking man on euphonium (Drugs A. Money), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:48 (twelve years ago) link

haha sorry, just one of my all-time pet peeves is the whole 'music is cyclical' thing of acting like a few broad parallels with 20 years ago can tell you that much about the future. i mean you can look at the charts and say why it kind of feels like 1990 and hey that means 1991 is around the corner but i just don't buy it, feels more like an appealing sentiment than a realistic way of looking at the world.

― some dude, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:52 (twelve years ago) link

right on with that, i'm not really trying to say music is cyclical, i'm just saying that there's more than enough evidence in the past 40 years to suggest that "rock is dead" claims are bullshit so saying "NO this time it's for real guyz" doesn't quite wash

but I still havent read your article so maybe there's more to it than that

also: Lamp is bringing up great points with the whole "do we even know what rock is anymore?" discussion

― incredible shrinking man on euphonium (Drugs A. Money), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:56 (twelve years ago) link

I'm mostly just repeating what lamp said but in limiting 'rock' to gnr and nirvana '4 guys w/ guitars' you're using the term, well, I guess how a lot of people use the term, but it misses the scope of 'rock' as a tradition / wider scope of aesthetics.

xp to DAM's post 10 minutes ago

― iatee, Tuesday, 17 January 2012 14:58 (twelve years ago) link

I see the point with that; as I mentioned I am just quibbling with something very specific that was said itt

― incredible shrinking man on euphonium (Drugs A. Money), Tuesday, 17 January 2012 15:02 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-16609484

video from bbc breakfast news about rock vs pop

― Jimmy Riddle Orchestra (Armand Schaubroeck Ratfucker), Wednesday, 18 January 2012 15:54 (twelve years ago) link

one could argue that dance is just as 'dead' by any stretch of the imagination if you look at this
http://www.mixmag.net/words/news/mixmags-greatest-dance-act-revealed

― piscesx, Thursday, 19 January 2012 13:10 (twelve years ago) link

a lot of this is starting to back up the theory that Reynolds first talked about in this piece;
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2009/dec/07/musically-fragmented-decade

― piscesx, Thursday, 19 January 2012 13:13 (twelve years ago) link

three weeks pass...

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/music_blog/2012/02/grammys-2012-the-junking-of-commercial-rock-music.html

Commercial rock has painted itself into a corner because it seldom surprises, seldom swings, and no longer possesses the creative authority to drive a conversation the way that pop, hip-hop and electronic dance music do. Innovation is discouraged, the exception being Radiohead (who can barely be considered “commercial rock” at this point), whose experimentation has become nearly as codified as Mastodon’s able riffs.

Radiohead...zzzz

― curmudgeon, Friday, 10 February 2012 16:09 (twelve years ago) link

I actually had to scroll down to realize that was Bruno Mars in that photo. Don't think I'd actually seen any photo of him before.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 16:18 (twelve years ago) link

And you know:

“Every Teardrop is a Waterfall” by Coldplay

Every time I think it's impossible to want to beat these people more soundly, they do something else to cause me to rethink.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 16:19 (twelve years ago) link

Also:

Even the alternative music album category, the place where the Grammys normally lets their freak flag fly, ignored acclaimed work by St. Vincent, Kate Bush, Wild Flag, Tuneyards and St. Vincent, among dozens of others.

Most of whom are called St. Vincent.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 16:25 (twelve years ago) link

And finally, Skrillex!

The insane Skrillex bass-drop that has become the electronic producer’s trademark is the sound of the new distortion, one that’s way fresher and more suggestive of youth alienation right now than three chords and a scream. No Grammy-nominated artist this year made a more innovative and aggressive record than Skrillex, which doesn’t necessarily make him a visionary as much as he is a portent: His noise and rebellion emanates from a laptop and not through a distortion pedal.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 16:28 (twelve years ago) link

ffs

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:40 (twelve years ago) link

sigh

Since when did rock dudes making music in a genre once known as “the sound of the city” enjoy hiking in the woods so much?
You can almost feel the dewy bliss of nature dripping into your ears — and in the perfect world, Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep,” arguably the most durable rock ’n’ roll song of the year, would be the avalanche that crushed the entire scene.

yeah Adele is the one to save rock music . lol America.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:42 (twelve years ago) link

wait a min, why are Sum 41 still getting nominated?

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:43 (twelve years ago) link

i traded my laptop for a distortion pedal

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:43 (twelve years ago) link

*merges gentle folk and soft rock with expansive post-rock structures*

― buzza, Friday, 10 February 2012 16:43 (twelve years ago) link

oh hear we go

Is the distinction that exists between so-called rock music and hard rock music the subject matter, the type of guitar distortion boxes used, and the quality of falsetto? Probably. It’s a battle between cavemen and nature boys, at least a little testosterone required. Where do the lines blur, and why? Is it a subtle class distinction — the blue-collar hard rockers versus the more “erudite” rock artists?

i think i'll stop reading now that hard rock = caveman thing has come up. Pathetic

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:44 (twelve years ago) link

*here

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:45 (twelve years ago) link

to find out which prat wrote this i need to scroll down. Fuck that i'll let someone who did read it all tell me

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:46 (twelve years ago) link

"able riffs"

― plee help i am lookin for (crüt), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:46 (twelve years ago) link

lol @ that bruno mars pic btw

― plee help i am lookin for (crüt), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:47 (twelve years ago) link

i hope someone points out to him that its not rock musics fault, its the morons at the grammys who select these things. There's plenty of great music out there.
Brits season will be up soon too, where they will say Adele saved pop music.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:48 (twelve years ago) link

oh no i read on and saw this

Rapper Kanye West, of course, is the king of assemblage, a fearless adapter of any music that catches his fancy, be it the French house music of Daft Punk, the baroque pop of Jon Brion or the indie falsetto of Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon. Bruno Mars steals from doo-wop as much as he does hip-hop, tosses in a rock strum and happy-go-lucky Sublime reggae-lite vibe, none more prominent than another. And Lady Gaga is the missing link between Elton John and late-period Cher that we never knew we needed. And the line between country music and soft rock is at times barely indistinguishable.

i am not reading any further, honest.

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:50 (twelve years ago) link

also lol @ naming "Rolling In The Deep" as the rockin' alternative to all those nominations - rock really is dead if the biggest innovation of the year is a lukewarm "Gimme Shelter" rehash

― plee help i am lookin for (crüt), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:50 (twelve years ago) link

amen

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Friday, 10 February 2012 16:50 (twelve years ago) link

'commercial'

― j., Friday, 10 February 2012 17:13 (twelve years ago) link

Also:
_Even the alternative music album category, the place where the Grammys normally lets their freak flag fly, ignored acclaimed work by St. Vincent, Kate Bush, Wild Flag, Tuneyards and St. Vincent, among dozens of others._
Most of whom are called St. Vincent.
--Ned Raggett

Skrillex is better than all these bands except Kate Bush tbh

― dave cool, Friday, 10 February 2012 17:19 (twelve years ago) link

I honestly have no problem with Skrillex at all, he's just there for me. I'm just amused by Randall going 'fresh! innovative!'

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 17:25 (twelve years ago) link

king of limbs sounds pretty "laptoppy" imo

― dave coolier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 10 February 2012 17:25 (twelve years ago) link

xpost (Yeah his argument's contextual and his audience is the LA Times and not us but even so.)

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 17:25 (twelve years ago) link

the alternative music album category, the place where the Grammys normally lets their freak flag fly

Radiohead, White Stripes, the Arcade Fire.... freaky, man

― plee help i am lookin for (crüt), Friday, 10 February 2012 17:28 (twelve years ago) link

for all the shit jethro tull got for beating metallica in the grammys, they are probably the *weirdest* band to ever win a grammy. i mean jethro tull! think about it! how could you even invent jethro tull?

― dave coolier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 10 February 2012 17:33 (twelve years ago) link

i was listening to Heavy Horses by Jethro Tull the other day and the album is dedicated to the "hardworking shire horses of England"

― dave coolier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, 10 February 2012 17:33 (twelve years ago) link

You have prompted a thread revival.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 February 2012 17:41 (twelve years ago) link

but, but, but, surely Sum 41 will save us all!?

― Curtis Stephens, Tuesday, December 24, 2002 3:15 PM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― if you ever leave me peggy, leave some propane at my door (zachlyon), Saturday, 11 February 2012 00:42 (twelve years ago) link

otm

― plee help i am lookin for (crüt), Saturday, 11 February 2012 00:43 (twelve years ago) link

at least you were 10 in 2002. made sense.

― scott seward, Saturday, 11 February 2012 00:47 (twelve years ago) link

lol

― pfunkboy (Algerian Goalkeeper), Saturday, 11 February 2012 00:48 (twelve years ago) link

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