Poll - Songs that never fail to make white people beyond turnt

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Poll Closing Date: Sunday, 28 May 2017 00:00 (in 1 day)

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Journey - Don't Stop Believin'
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
Bon Jovi - Livin' on a Prayer
Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen
Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline
Bon Jovi - You Give Love a Bad Name
Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar on Me
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure
AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby
Rednex - Cotton Eyed Joe
The Proclaimers - 500 Miles
Oasis - Wonderwall
Weezer - Buddy Holly
Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles
Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup
The Killers - Mr. Brightside
Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up
Survivor - Eye of the Tiger
Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Don McLean - American Pie


josh az (2011nostalgia), Friday, 19 May 2017 23:40 (one week ago) Permalink

where is Hotel California?

akm, Friday, 19 May 2017 23:42 (one week ago) Permalink

No "Creep," no credibility

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Friday, 19 May 2017 23:44 (one week ago) Permalink

'american pie' makes no one turnt

mookieproof, Friday, 19 May 2017 23:48 (one week ago) Permalink

at least half of these songs get regularly sung by drunk kids at the karaoke bar I frequent on thursdays. They're always a big hit with the crowd - one time people went so crazy for Mr. Brightside that the sound-system actually broke and they had to restart the song.

josh az (2011nostalgia), Friday, 19 May 2017 23:48 (one week ago) Permalink

This sounds like a terrible bar.

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Friday, 19 May 2017 23:53 (one week ago) Permalink

is the poll about which song is best or which is most likely to get white ppl the most turnt

flappy bird, Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:05 (six days ago) Permalink

write-in for "born to be wild"

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:10 (six days ago) Permalink

I was thinking which song is the best

josh az (2011nostalgia), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:12 (six days ago) Permalink

but you can answer it however you want i guess. "bohemian rhapsody" would probably be a knockout for most likely to get white ppl the most turnt tho

josh az (2011nostalgia), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:14 (six days ago) Permalink

under pressure is the best song

don't stop believin is the most turnt-ing song

mookieproof, Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:16 (six days ago) Permalink

ha i just looked over the list and imo Bohemian Rhapsody is the best, although idk why Hey Ya isn't on here, that's the one.

flappy bird, Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:17 (six days ago) Permalink

Livin' on a Prayer by some distance

gospodin simmel, Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:21 (six days ago) Permalink

Come on Eileen is probably the one with the most ilx credibility

josh az (2011nostalgia), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:23 (six days ago) Permalink

ice ice baby is so boring. like i always want to like it because it feels boring to hate it, but sheesh that's one of the most tedious and un-fun songs i can think of.

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:38 (six days ago) Permalink

its true you hear Cotton Eye Joe everywhere you go here in the south. we also all chew on straw constantly and wearing overalls with one strap.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:39 (six days ago) Permalink

No "Total Eclipse of The Heart", no cred. That song <IS> White Girl Wasted.

to fly across the city and find Aerosmith's car (C. Grisso/McCain), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:55 (six days ago) Permalink

I don't know what "turnt" is, but this white guy likes these:

Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen
Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure
The Killers - Mr. Brightside
Don McLean - American Pie

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Saturday, 20 May 2017 00:59 (six days ago) Permalink

missing House of Pain's Jump Around.

Van Horn Street, Saturday, 20 May 2017 06:28 (six days ago) Permalink

"Come On Eileen" played in the grocery store today and it's really just a remarkable tune, voted for that

bunny slopes, Saturday, 20 May 2017 08:04 (six days ago) Permalink

feel like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" shd've made this list, lol anyway

The Remoans of the May (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 20 May 2017 09:46 (six days ago) Permalink

wtf is the Zac Brown Band?

Punnet of the Grapes (Tom D.), Saturday, 20 May 2017 09:57 (six days ago) Permalink

My son had a letter sent home from school because he led a group sing-along of Livin' On a Prayer on the bus and would not stop when asked by the driver. We were cautioned that if he did it one more time there would be a two week bus suspension. I don't know what's wrong with that boy.

how's life, Saturday, 20 May 2017 11:53 (six days ago) Permalink

maybe they're thinking what i'm thinking, that with the school year drawing to a close, and "Prayer"'s quarter-century ubiquity, the deeper cut with the equally strong chorus "Never Say Goodbye" was the better call here?

rip van wanko, Saturday, 20 May 2017 11:58 (six days ago) Permalink

Queen & David Bowie - Under Pressure
Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

Redundant redundancy...

Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative), Sunday, 21 May 2017 03:43 (five days ago) Permalink

I had to look up turnt because I am not only a white people, I am an old white male (possibly the worst kind of white people).

Bearing the definition, I cannot help but think that "Sweet Home Alabama" has to be correct because the first words of the song literally are "turn it up," however this also excludes all of the white dudes north of the Mason-Dixon who voted for Obama and have little time for stars, bars and Duke of Hazzard cars.

I was leaning towards "You Shook Me All Night Long" because it's my favorite song on the list by my favorite band on the list (both by a high margin) however AC/DC has been a staple on many a classic block party and hip-hop track. If non-white people are also getting turnt, I feel that goes against the spirit of the thread which seems to specifically be a white thing.

In the interest of educating myself I listened to Toby Keith "Red Solo Cup" for the very first time ever. It will hopefully be the last time.

After careful consideration I went with "Cotton Eyed Joe." This song is mostly played at sporting events in America now, and even though those often have very ethically diverse crowds, when that song gets pumped into the stadium, look around. White people are turnt! Everyone else is looking for the beer guy or something.
Was leaning hard towards "Don't Stop Believing" but the singer is Asian, way more multicultural than the winner of this poll should be. (Yes, I know the original singer was not. It seemed as good a way to eliminate the song.)

Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative), Sunday, 21 May 2017 03:57 (five days ago) Permalink

I wasn't sure how I felt about the thread's premise but tbf you managed to pick one of the handful of songs I dislike on the list so I think you win.

Tomorrow Begat Tomorrow (Sund4r), Sunday, 21 May 2017 04:05 (five days ago) Permalink

"Shot to the Heart" what a gr8 song yesirree

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 04:21 (five days ago) Permalink

Fun fact: Rednex are from Sweden

http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/GD6qtc2_AQA/hqdefault.jpg

josh az (2011nostalgia), Sunday, 21 May 2017 08:21 (five days ago) Permalink

lol @ america

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:08 (five days ago) Permalink

not saying we're immune to cotton eye joe, but still.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:09 (five days ago) Permalink

write-in for hey ya, ignition, or hot in herre

||||||||, Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:25 (five days ago) Permalink

omg no hey ya?

rip van wanko, Sunday, 21 May 2017 10:44 (five days ago) Permalink

lol at "Teenage Dirtbag" being on the list. who the fuck even remembers that shit, let alone gets "turnt" to it

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:29 (five days ago) Permalink

nothing is worse than when everybody sings Bohemian Rhapsody as a group

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:30 (five days ago) Permalink

White people = white Americans? If so, this is somewhat accurate.

pomenitul, Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:35 (five days ago) Permalink

I'd wager 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is the likeliest correct answer.

pomenitul, Sunday, 21 May 2017 12:36 (five days ago) Permalink

With no other input but the thread title and the last half-dozen posts or so (reading from the bottom on Zing), for some read my brain immediately started looping the chorus from Mr. Brightside, before I even looked at the poll

El Tomboto, Sunday, 21 May 2017 13:57 (five days ago) Permalink

This song is mostly played at sporting events in America now, and even though those often have very ethically diverse crowds

― Loud guitars shit all over "Bette Davis Eyes" (NYCNative)

you said it, man

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:42 (five days ago) Permalink

lol @ america

in a soylent whey (wins), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:44 (five days ago) Permalink

"nothing is worse than when everybody sings Bohemian Rhapsody as a group"

yes, yes there is something worse. It's when groups of white people sing all 56788 verses of American Pie together, which I endured on July 4th in 1995.

akm, Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:54 (five days ago) Permalink

I assume you still have PTSD from that episode

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:57 (five days ago) Permalink

I fuckin hate the song to begin with (unlike BR, which I am just sick of but is legit awesome)

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Sunday, 21 May 2017 14:57 (five days ago) Permalink

Beyond Turnt, though..

Mark G, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:03 (five days ago) Permalink

Voting for the one on here I flat out love, with no reservations: 'Come On, Eileen.'

Absolute classic.

Austin, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:26 (five days ago) Permalink

"Come On Eileen" is good but also annoying.

billstevejim, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:54 (five days ago) Permalink

"Under Pressure" is amazing tho and probably wouldn't have been eligible had Vanilla never been born.

billstevejim, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:55 (five days ago) Permalink

under pressure and come on eileen are prob the only songs here i don't hate

eh, i guess i don't hate eye of the tiger

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:57 (five days ago) Permalink

75% of the "white/lame/boring" appeal is within the first 5 seconds when people are unsure whether it's "Under Pressure" or "Ice Ice Baby."

billstevejim, Sunday, 21 May 2017 22:57 (five days ago) Permalink

Ah, also "Harlem Shuffle" and "Jump Around"

See, see the white folks run back to the chairs when they find it's "Harlem Shuffle" !

Run, White Folks, Run...

Mark G, Monday, 22 May 2017 09:29 (four days ago) Permalink

Never heard of these:

Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup

Looking forward to getting beyond turnt by them at some point soon.

Would add:

Ace of Base - All That She Wants
and definitely House of Pain - Jump Around, which is the ne plus ultra of this kind of thing

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 10:27 (four days ago) Permalink

you've never seen wites properly turnt until you've seen a bunch of scots losing their shit to '5000 miles' at a wedding

ilx liberal moron team UNITE (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 22 May 2017 10:32 (four days ago) Permalink

uh, 500 miles - clearly scottish people's cardiovascular health is not up to the challenge of 5000 miles

ilx liberal moron team UNITE (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 22 May 2017 10:33 (four days ago) Permalink

.. let alone "5,000 more"

Mark G, Monday, 22 May 2017 11:00 (four days ago) Permalink

i loled at most of these... except for "sweet caroline". it's horrifying and sobering to consider the possibility that poc think that white folks are all red sox fans.

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:14 (four days ago) Permalink

stuffwhitepeoplelike.tumblr.trite

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:34 (four days ago) Permalink

'Paradise By the Dashboard Light' and 'Friends in Low Places' are some glaring (although possibly more regional in their turntness) exclusions from this list.

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:48 (four days ago) Permalink

Also possibly out of date (source: Old Lunch's rural high school dances).

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 13:50 (four days ago) Permalink

Mustang Sally is another one. I dunno, I could just list all the songs people used to karaoke down the SU

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:02 (four days ago) Permalink

all of these songs are terrible

marcos, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:17 (four days ago) Permalink

Well, yeah.

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:22 (four days ago) Permalink

Didn't know the term either, thanks NYCNative for the link.
I'm going for 'Eye of the Tiger', although I'm sure that there are many more better picks out there. Wouldn't the following all be even better already?
Trashmen - Surfin' Bird
Ray Parker Jr - Ghostbusters
Michael Jackson - Thriller
AC/DC - Highway to Hell
Steppenwolf - Born to be Wild
Scatman John - Scatman

Valentijn, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:23 (four days ago) Permalink

xpost (Actually don't agree with that, but figured an Eagles reference was required somewhere itt.)

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:23 (four days ago) Permalink

(Oops, of course first response itt was Eagles reference.)

human/hutt hybrid (Old Lunch), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:24 (four days ago) Permalink

Never heard of these:

Zac Brown Band - Chicken Fried
Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup

I lasted about 20 seconds into both of these. I really really wish I hadn't bothered

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 14:47 (four days ago) Permalink

Had to look up "turnt"..."Sweet Home Alabama" is the only song here I count as now and forever turnt-worthy; "American Pie" comes close. There are bunch more I like. The two Bon Jovis are the two I hate the most. I don't know three or four of them.

clemenza, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:51 (four days ago) Permalink

(Including the two in the previous post--quite content to go on not knowing them.)

clemenza, Monday, 22 May 2017 14:52 (four days ago) Permalink

i don't know if this is universally applicable, but in indiana by far the most turnt-inducing white people song was "crazy train".

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:26 (four days ago) Permalink

just yell "ALLLL ABOOOOOARD!" and start cackling maniacally and hoosiers will absolutely lose their shit

Cyborg Kickboxer (rushomancy), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:26 (four days ago) Permalink

A lot of these are okay, possibly even good fun songs, but WAY overplayed. Always liked Ice Ice Baby (bizarrely it's one of my Dad's favourite songs).

Shat Parp (dog latin), Monday, 22 May 2017 15:41 (four days ago) Permalink

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 22 May 2017 16:03 (four days ago) Permalink

this poll is so dad

austinb, Thursday, 25 May 2017 01:56 (yesterday) Permalink

There is definitely a sort of meta thing I notice when people do a lot of these songs in karaoke where they're not just performing the fantasy of being Jon Bon Jovi but performing the fantasy of being the cool party person who karaokes Bon Jovi.

the last famous person you were surprised to discover was actually (man alive), Thursday, 25 May 2017 02:18 (yesterday) Permalink

As far as blanket arguments against white people go, this one I'll allow.

Should've included "Love Shack" tho.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Thursday, 25 May 2017 03:44 (yesterday) Permalink

Also, a pretty good approximation of perpetual karaoke hell if you add "Jack and Diane" and "Baby Got Back."

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Thursday, 25 May 2017 03:46 (yesterday) Permalink

Sweet Caroline

Charles "Butt" Stanton (Neanderthal), Thursday, 25 May 2017 04:07 (yesterday) Permalink

Might be a regional thing, but "Wagon Wheel" seems to be a pretty big bar band drunken singalong tune here.

earlnash, Thursday, 25 May 2017 05:19 (yesterday) Permalink

never heard of it

billstevejim, Thursday, 25 May 2017 05:27 (yesterday) Permalink

earlnash, Thursday, 25 May 2017 06:46 (yesterday) Permalink


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