Rolling Worst Music of 2017

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

"Today we share a new song to inspire the weary-disappointed hearts of so many crest-fallen citizens. We just started working on a new album, but “Smoke ‘em Out” begged to be turned loose on the world now, as a means of participation during these turbulent yet invigorating times. Joined on guest vocals by our fellow Future Feminist ANOHNI, “Smoke ‘em Out” welcomes the new character who will be occupying the White House with a mob of women and children armed with forks and knives. In the wake of this unnatural disaster, we feel a call to rise, shout, and burn the house down. The future is female.
peace, Bianca & Sierra Casady"

"begged to be turned loose"

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:07 (two months ago) Permalink

also, i got blocked from Anohni's FB page when I dared to bring up CocoRosie's Kill Whitey parties when she posted a link to the song lmao

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:09 (two months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

fault in our stars actor & lowkey EDM festival DJ attempts to breaks out as a budding pop star with hilariously atrocious results:

joshywinty (josh), Monday, 6 February 2017 22:02 (one month ago) Permalink

Watching the Beta Boys video from the previous year's thread led me down a Youtube recommend alley to the work of their sole female member, "Fellatia Geisha". It's, um, interesting. Not exactly good interesting.

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:13 (one month ago) Permalink

Oh wow, she has a new one this week, and um...

Lots of things going on here, but I can't help zeroing in on the use of an FCUK t-shirt to apparently signify rebellion against "intersectional feminism"

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:27 (one month ago) Permalink

Was just coming here to post the Ansel track.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:25 (one month ago) Permalink

abysmal real name of 2017 and hard to see how that track & video will be beaten either

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:34 (one month ago) Permalink

the second one is kinda like beat poetry on a Thursday night at Borders circa 1999

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:38 (one month ago) Permalink

I don't hate this ansel elgort thing as much as I should

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:41 (one month ago) Permalink

I guess I'll tolerate anything* if it's over a decent synthesizer

* except, like, nazi shit, no one post that buzzfeed article, I've read it

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:43 (one month ago) Permalink

i didn't think it was bad either

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:58 (one month ago) Permalink

um

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:08 (one month ago) Permalink

there was an "exposé" a few months about a "burgeoning" "subgenre" of fascist/neo-nazi themed songs over giorgio moroder ripoffs

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:15 (one month ago) Permalink

So far nothing in this thread is truly awful.

daavid, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 05:05 (one month ago) Permalink

best/worst thing about the ansel elgort song is his overenunciation of every single word

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:45 (one month ago) Permalink

i think he learned it phonetically

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:46 (one month ago) Permalink

as a person who has actually liked a fair number of FJM/J. Tillman things, his decision to double down on po-faced "political" lyrics has resulted in, I believe, some dizzying new lows worthy of this thread

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:48 (one month ago) Permalink

That Elgort video is pretty good on mute, cause you know, cute mostly-naked boy + Cocaine Noir visuals.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:07 (one month ago) Permalink

I hope his acting is better than his singing, otherwise he might ruin the upcoming Edgar Wright movie that he's starring in.

MarkoP, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:14 (one month ago) Permalink

The Elgort song is mostly guilty of trying too hard. It reminds me a bit of that Kiefer Sutherland country track from last year in that regard (although that was way funnier).

Those Fellatia Geisha tracks are just straight up appalling, through. Like Kitty (Pryde) performing lyrics written by Milo Yiannopoulos.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:47 (one month ago) Permalink

haha that ansel elgort song is hilariously bad, thread delivers

fjm is annoyingly bad ;_;

niels, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:19 (one month ago) Permalink

apparently there's a 13-minute song kicking around but I don't feel up to torturing y'all on that level

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:21 (one month ago) Permalink

This is from 2014, but I was just sent it because he's touring:

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:04 (one month ago) Permalink

At long last, the lead single of a certain animated group's upcoming 4th album. No, not that one:

MarkoP, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:21 (one month ago) Permalink

This Prozzak song isn't good, but they were probably one of the very last turn-of-the-millennium bands that I would have expected to still be around in 2017, so that's something.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:31 (one month ago) Permalink

Well their upcoming album, due in March, is called "Forever 1999".

MarkoP, Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:12 (one month ago) Permalink

wow 2017 shaping up to be worse than last year

wonder if that arthur brown shit is to poor for tom waits to sue

niels, Thursday, 9 February 2017 18:03 (one month ago) Permalink

alternate titles: "Sia Continues To Not Do Subtext"; "I Didn't Expect Melanie Martinez To Be Where Katy Perry Is Being Positioned, Huh"; "If You Told Me Katy Perry Was Doing 'Pleasantville' I Would Have Expected Pinup Shit"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:30 (one month ago) Permalink

"stumbling around like a wasted zombie" is a great description of whatever the chorus is trying to do

the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:33 (one month ago) Permalink

there's something so awkward about how capitalism/mainstream pop absorbed counterculture in the way it's expressed here - it's like when Dr. Evil does the "i'm hip" routine

worst indeed

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 18:48 (one month ago) Permalink

the thing is, it isn't really counterculture at all. it's Sia writing a Sia song that is essentially "Chandelier"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:00 (one month ago) Permalink

I only meant to suggest that criticizing popular culture within a pop framework is awkward when the content of the critique is so banal/superficial/"without any subtext"

it isn't really counterculture - but doesn't it rely on misconstrued countercultural aesthetics?

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:12 (one month ago) Permalink

imo a song that tells people they are zombies and have to find real purpose in such vague terms is virtually insidistinguishable from telling people to get real jobs and stop watching reality tv

mh 😏, Sunday, 12 February 2017 20:53 (one month ago) Permalink

Fuck, Sia has really dropped off in quality since We are Born - not sure if it's related to her sobering up and doing music 24/7 or the money. Happy for her health-wise I guess.

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Monday, 13 February 2017 03:04 (one month ago) Permalink

xp promo otm and a self-indictment

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:44 (one month ago) Permalink

am I horrible if I say sia's best bits were zero 7 vocals

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:45 (one month ago) Permalink

Nope.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 09:51 (one month ago) Permalink

Otoh, "I'm watching porn in my hotel dressing gown" is v Rolling Worst Music 2002.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 12:11 (one month ago) Permalink

(picture of Trump in bathrobe)

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 14:40 (one month ago) Permalink

k3vin k., Wednesday, 22 February 2017 17:05 (one month ago) Permalink

Bryson Morris sings that song / so i don't even bother

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 18:40 (one month ago) Permalink

I like that he has braces.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:08 (one month ago) Permalink

Dare I stick my head out and admit that I sort of like the Katy Perry song, just a bit put off by the rubbish lyrics and scansion

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:11 (one month ago) Permalink

I cannot get past that Cocorosie/ANHONI song

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:17 (one month ago) Permalink

The best thing that I will say about that Perry song is that, after hearing it maybe twice, it doesn't actively annoy me in any way. Other than that, I can't right now recall a single thing about it.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:22 (one month ago) Permalink

Filed under "Machine-gunning fish in a barrel":

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Thursday, 23 February 2017 15:05 (one month ago) Permalink

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Thursday, 23 February 2017 16:37 (one month ago) Permalink

Jessie Ware co-wrote this. I'm horrified

monotony, Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:03 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Go fuck yourself, Ed.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

wow, fuck this guy so much

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:45 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Gross

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Sunday, 5 March 2017 01:03 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I know you're lonely
Please remember you're still free
To make the choice and leave
Don't call me up, you need to show me

another very strong contender indeed

niels, Sunday, 5 March 2017 09:06 (three weeks ago) Permalink

"New Man" is bad but "Galway Girl" is jaw-droppingly awful - terrible lyrics, too many words for its melody, awful performance, patronising sentiment, kill it with fire

boxedjoy, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 10:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink

i think ed wants to fuck the new man tbh

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 10:12 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I guess there had to be a first time that someone rhymed "asshole bleached" with "every single Ministry CD". The guy they're describing doesn't really sound like your average Ministry fan though.

how's life, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 13:19 (three weeks ago) Permalink

blu ray
true say

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 13:25 (three weeks ago) Permalink

So the Ed Sheeran album is definitely the worst album of the year? Or is Sun Kil Moon still the one to beat?

Frederik B, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 13:36 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Some brief moments on the Koz record are at least legitimately funny. Then again, it's also 7,000 years long.

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 13:37 (three weeks ago) Permalink

and he has yet to sully the good name of Jessie Ware

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 March 2017 13:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

So the Ed Sheeran album is definitely the worst album of the year? Or is Sun Kil Moon still the one to beat?

― Frederik B, Tuesday, March 7, 2017 8:36 AM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Didn't you say the new SKM "is the most I've ever liked Mark Kozelek"?

Evan, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:15 (three weeks ago) Permalink

That's a low bar, and I'd only made it through three tracks at that point...

But the sad truth is probably that I'd prefer abysmal failure to competent and boring... I also kinda like the first Sheeran single, am fascinated by the rest.

Frederik B, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:33 (three weeks ago) Permalink

🤷 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Frederik B, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 21:33 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Highly insulting in regards to the first 3 SKM records! Though not sure if you've ever tried them.

Evan, Tuesday, 7 March 2017 22:00 (three weeks ago) Permalink

youtube is currently having a spirited debate over a) whether there is in fact a bar on grafton street b) whether he meant a cross street c) whether there just USED to be a bar because omg it's about his parents omg so sweet d) whether it doesn't matter because ed's songwriting simply cannot be contained by such matters as facts

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Wednesday, 8 March 2017 02:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

...the...song...title.

Just, no.

https://soundcloud.com/thehernies/padawan-of-your-love

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 March 2017 22:18 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Also the more I think about it, doesn't the song title basically mean the equivalent of "Hi, I'm the little kid you used to babysit and I'm all grown up now I think and I wanna do you. I hate sand."

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 8 March 2017 22:22 (three weeks ago) Permalink

The Stargate single features Sia and P!nk imitating Sia and is very insipid and leans towards the "self-parody" side of the predictability spectrum

monotony, Tuesday, 14 March 2017 03:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

I still have no idea how Sia is a pop star.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 12:39 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wow this is traaaash.

maura, Tuesday, 14 March 2017 13:47 (two weeks ago) Permalink

woooow

I don't mind Sia overall, but whoever first said "Sia doesn't do metaphor" ruined my ability to listen to her lyrics without giggling

also, what if this song is her attempt to do metaphor and... it's just one bad metaphor they keep repeating as a chorus

mh 😏, Tuesday, 14 March 2017 14:43 (two weeks ago) Permalink

https://youtu.be/jjM4f-Er8W0

Not raving but drooling (contenderizer), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 16:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

fuck that, need the full effect

Not raving but drooling (contenderizer), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 16:36 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Fuck that Sia track is awful, it's been all downhill since "1000 Forms of Fear" (her last semi decent album)

Carlotta's Portrait (Ross), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 18:35 (two weeks ago) Permalink

atlas pain look like the house band for the house party i never want to be invited to

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Tuesday, 14 March 2017 22:24 (two weeks ago) Permalink

ahaha

maura, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 02:07 (two weeks ago) Permalink

If that Atlas Pain song had clean vocals instead of rote "extreme" vocals it would be halfway decent. But then it would be a power metal song, and those are outlawed in America.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 15 March 2017 02:13 (two weeks ago) Permalink

maura, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 16:44 (two weeks ago) Permalink

:o

maura, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 16:45 (two weeks ago) Permalink

that wouldn't have even flown in 2001 when it seemed like any idiot with a synthesizer and a dirty mouth could get a record deal

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 15 March 2017 16:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Of course, any time a white rapper takes a comedic approach to hip-hop (especially with racially charged lyrics), it's easy to see it as a white dude making fun of rap music—and potentially black culture in general.

This has happened with Riff Raff, Lil Dicky, and others. As Miller’s profile grows, skepticism is being thrown in his direction as well.

As soon as I bring up the topic, his voice takes on a serious tone.

“I fuckin' love rap music,” Miller responds. “All kinds, all sorts. It's not my intention to make fun of rap music. Some songs are lighthearted parodies of today's rap culture, for sure. But I don't want people to make the mistake thinking that I'm hostile or aggressively making a fool out of rap culture. It's just a light parody."

maura, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 16:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

wtf

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Wednesday, 15 March 2017 17:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

"a light parody"
light...
light?

ahhh, white

mh 😏, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 18:36 (two weeks ago) Permalink

how does this shit get 15 million views

frogbs, Wednesday, 15 March 2017 18:42 (two weeks ago) Permalink

normie shitheads eat what they're given

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Wednesday, 15 March 2017 19:05 (two weeks ago) Permalink

some men just want to watch the world burn

Not raving but drooling (contenderizer), Wednesday, 15 March 2017 20:48 (two weeks ago) Permalink

that guy should be eaten IMO

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 March 2017 00:04 (one week ago) Permalink

preferably by several lions

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 March 2017 00:04 (one week ago) Permalink

wait until you hear 'gays 4 donald'

Frank said on twitter that this song isn’t meant to be a political statement, rather just a filthy ballad about wanting to have sex with Donald Trump.

But of course that could just be Frank being facetious.

(frank = pink guy's mastermind. check out who his #1 genius scholar is)

maura, Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:29 (one week ago) Permalink

finding out about this guy depressed me

maura, Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:35 (one week ago) Permalink

nuke this guy's house, come back for a second run just to be sure

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:58 (one week ago) Permalink

think this might belong here

devvvine, Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:01 (one week ago) Permalink

it's like someone played him 'radioactive' and he said 'i can make this song even better'

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:10 (one week ago) Permalink

Yeah it feels like summer to me
And she was a lover to me

how's life, Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:19 (one week ago) Permalink

also i just opened the pink guy video and immediately realised how in fact he has 15 million views it is schmucks like me we are all schmucks we are all normie shitheads

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:19 (one week ago) Permalink

youtube, the democratizing grassroots platform that leads to a wellspring of content

*actually looks at the content*

oh god what have we done

mh 😏, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:09 (one week ago) Permalink

remember when youtube was just grainy footage of people at the mall falling down the stairs

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:14 (one week ago) Permalink

better times

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:51 (one week ago) Permalink

Holy shit, Darke Complex, the nü-metal band I wrote about for Stereogum (and posted in last year's thread), have turned the Stereogum headline into a T-shirt:

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 26 March 2017 20:37 (three days ago) Permalink

Sort of weird that the shirt says Stereogum on it instead of their own band name. It could have said DARKE COMPLEX up top (they could keep the little logo for laffs), maybe with an attribution to Stereogum under the quote at the bottom.

JRN, Sunday, 26 March 2017 20:55 (three days ago) Permalink

that looks a bit like a joke gift from a manager; not a lot of thought going on with layout in general when somebody's assistant is having shirts printed

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Sunday, 26 March 2017 21:50 (three days ago) Permalink

I emailed their publicist to see if she can get me one.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 26 March 2017 22:00 (three days ago) Permalink

ok I watched a little of their video and the music kind of has a korn vibe too?

the sports jersey rapping guy is really something

mh 😏, Sunday, 26 March 2017 23:27 (three days ago) Permalink


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.