Rolling Worst Music of 2017

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"Today we share a new song to inspire the weary-disappointed hearts of so many crest-fallen citizens. We just started working on a new album, but “Smoke ‘em Out” begged to be turned loose on the world now, as a means of participation during these turbulent yet invigorating times. Joined on guest vocals by our fellow Future Feminist ANOHNI, “Smoke ‘em Out” welcomes the new character who will be occupying the White House with a mob of women and children armed with forks and knives. In the wake of this unnatural disaster, we feel a call to rise, shout, and burn the house down. The future is female.
peace, Bianca & Sierra Casady"

"begged to be turned loose"

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:07 (four months ago) Permalink

also, i got blocked from Anohni's FB page when I dared to bring up CocoRosie's Kill Whitey parties when she posted a link to the song lmao

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 18 January 2017 02:09 (four months ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

fault in our stars actor & lowkey EDM festival DJ attempts to breaks out as a budding pop star with hilariously atrocious results:

joshywinty (josh), Monday, 6 February 2017 22:02 (three months ago) Permalink

Watching the Beta Boys video from the previous year's thread led me down a Youtube recommend alley to the work of their sole female member, "Fellatia Geisha". It's, um, interesting. Not exactly good interesting.

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:13 (three months ago) Permalink

Oh wow, she has a new one this week, and um...

Lots of things going on here, but I can't help zeroing in on the use of an FCUK t-shirt to apparently signify rebellion against "intersectional feminism"

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Monday, 6 February 2017 22:27 (three months ago) Permalink

Was just coming here to post the Ansel track.

insidious assymetrical weapons (Eric H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:25 (three months ago) Permalink

abysmal real name of 2017 and hard to see how that track & video will be beaten either

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:34 (three months ago) Permalink

the second one is kinda like beat poetry on a Thursday night at Borders circa 1999

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:38 (three months ago) Permalink

I don't hate this ansel elgort thing as much as I should

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:41 (three months ago) Permalink

I guess I'll tolerate anything* if it's over a decent synthesizer

* except, like, nazi shit, no one post that buzzfeed article, I've read it

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:43 (three months ago) Permalink

i didn't think it was bad either

Neanderthal, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 03:58 (three months ago) Permalink

um

I Am In Atlanta And Thug Is Young (imago), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:08 (three months ago) Permalink

there was an "exposé" a few months about a "burgeoning" "subgenre" of fascist/neo-nazi themed songs over giorgio moroder ripoffs

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 04:15 (three months ago) Permalink

So far nothing in this thread is truly awful.

daavid, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 05:05 (three months ago) Permalink

best/worst thing about the ansel elgort song is his overenunciation of every single word

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:45 (three months ago) Permalink

i think he learned it phonetically

na (NA), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:46 (three months ago) Permalink

as a person who has actually liked a fair number of FJM/J. Tillman things, his decision to double down on po-faced "political" lyrics has resulted in, I believe, some dizzying new lows worthy of this thread

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 15:48 (three months ago) Permalink

That Elgort video is pretty good on mute, cause you know, cute mostly-naked boy + Cocaine Noir visuals.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:07 (three months ago) Permalink

I hope his acting is better than his singing, otherwise he might ruin the upcoming Edgar Wright movie that he's starring in.

MarkoP, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:14 (three months ago) Permalink

The Elgort song is mostly guilty of trying too hard. It reminds me a bit of that Kiefer Sutherland country track from last year in that regard (although that was way funnier).

Those Fellatia Geisha tracks are just straight up appalling, through. Like Kitty (Pryde) performing lyrics written by Milo Yiannopoulos.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 17:47 (three months ago) Permalink

haha that ansel elgort song is hilariously bad, thread delivers

fjm is annoyingly bad ;_;

niels, Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:19 (three months ago) Permalink

apparently there's a 13-minute song kicking around but I don't feel up to torturing y'all on that level

a serious and fascinating fartist (Simon H.), Tuesday, 7 February 2017 18:21 (three months ago) Permalink

This is from 2014, but I was just sent it because he's touring:

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:04 (three months ago) Permalink

At long last, the lead single of a certain animated group's upcoming 4th album. No, not that one:

MarkoP, Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:21 (three months ago) Permalink

This Prozzak song isn't good, but they were probably one of the very last turn-of-the-millennium bands that I would have expected to still be around in 2017, so that's something.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 8 February 2017 23:31 (three months ago) Permalink

Well their upcoming album, due in March, is called "Forever 1999".

MarkoP, Thursday, 9 February 2017 17:12 (three months ago) Permalink

wow 2017 shaping up to be worse than last year

wonder if that arthur brown shit is to poor for tom waits to sue

niels, Thursday, 9 February 2017 18:03 (three months ago) Permalink

alternate titles: "Sia Continues To Not Do Subtext"; "I Didn't Expect Melanie Martinez To Be Where Katy Perry Is Being Positioned, Huh"; "If You Told Me Katy Perry Was Doing 'Pleasantville' I Would Have Expected Pinup Shit"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:30 (three months ago) Permalink

"stumbling around like a wasted zombie" is a great description of whatever the chorus is trying to do

the raindrops and drop tops of lived, earned experience (BradNelson), Friday, 10 February 2017 17:33 (three months ago) Permalink

there's something so awkward about how capitalism/mainstream pop absorbed counterculture in the way it's expressed here - it's like when Dr. Evil does the "i'm hip" routine

worst indeed

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 18:48 (three months ago) Permalink

the thing is, it isn't really counterculture at all. it's Sia writing a Sia song that is essentially "Chandelier"

a self-reinforcing downward spiral of male-centric indie (katherine), Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:00 (three months ago) Permalink

I only meant to suggest that criticizing popular culture within a pop framework is awkward when the content of the critique is so banal/superficial/"without any subtext"

it isn't really counterculture - but doesn't it rely on misconstrued countercultural aesthetics?

niels, Sunday, 12 February 2017 19:12 (three months ago) Permalink

imo a song that tells people they are zombies and have to find real purpose in such vague terms is virtually insidistinguishable from telling people to get real jobs and stop watching reality tv

mh 😏, Sunday, 12 February 2017 20:53 (three months ago) Permalink

Fuck, Sia has really dropped off in quality since We are Born - not sure if it's related to her sobering up and doing music 24/7 or the money. Happy for her health-wise I guess.

Everything Moves Towards The Sun (Ross), Monday, 13 February 2017 03:04 (three months ago) Permalink

xp promo otm and a self-indictment

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:44 (three months ago) Permalink

am I horrible if I say sia's best bits were zero 7 vocals

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 03:45 (three months ago) Permalink

Nope.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 09:51 (three months ago) Permalink

Otoh, "I'm watching porn in my hotel dressing gown" is v Rolling Worst Music 2002.

how's life, Monday, 13 February 2017 12:11 (three months ago) Permalink

(picture of Trump in bathrobe)

mh 😏, Monday, 13 February 2017 14:40 (three months ago) Permalink

k3vin k., Wednesday, 22 February 2017 17:05 (three months ago) Permalink

Bryson Morris sings that song / so i don't even bother

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 18:40 (three months ago) Permalink

I like that he has braces.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:08 (three months ago) Permalink

Dare I stick my head out and admit that I sort of like the Katy Perry song, just a bit put off by the rubbish lyrics and scansion

Camaraderie at Arms Length, Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:11 (three months ago) Permalink

I cannot get past that Cocorosie/ANHONI song

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:17 (three months ago) Permalink

The best thing that I will say about that Perry song is that, after hearing it maybe twice, it doesn't actively annoy me in any way. Other than that, I can't right now recall a single thing about it.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 22 February 2017 20:22 (three months ago) Permalink

Filed under "Machine-gunning fish in a barrel":

ornate orchestral arrangements (DJP), Thursday, 23 February 2017 15:05 (three months ago) Permalink

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Thursday, 23 February 2017 16:37 (three months ago) Permalink

Jessie Ware co-wrote this. I'm horrified

monotony, Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:03 (two months ago) Permalink

Go fuck yourself, Ed.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Sunday, 5 March 2017 00:11 (two months ago) Permalink

finding out about this guy depressed me

maura, Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:35 (two months ago) Permalink

nuke this guy's house, come back for a second run just to be sure

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 March 2017 11:58 (two months ago) Permalink

think this might belong here

devvvine, Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:01 (two months ago) Permalink

it's like someone played him 'radioactive' and he said 'i can make this song even better'

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:10 (two months ago) Permalink

Yeah it feels like summer to me
And she was a lover to me

how's life, Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:19 (two months ago) Permalink

also i just opened the pink guy video and immediately realised how in fact he has 15 million views it is schmucks like me we are all schmucks we are all normie shitheads

an uptempo Pop/Hip Hop mentality (imago), Thursday, 16 March 2017 12:19 (two months ago) Permalink

youtube, the democratizing grassroots platform that leads to a wellspring of content

*actually looks at the content*

oh god what have we done

mh 😏, Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:09 (two months ago) Permalink

remember when youtube was just grainy footage of people at the mall falling down the stairs

waht, I am true black metal worrior (Neanderthal), Thursday, 16 March 2017 15:14 (two months ago) Permalink

better times

removed from the rain drops and drop tops of experience (ulysses), Thursday, 16 March 2017 16:51 (two months ago) Permalink

Holy shit, Darke Complex, the nü-metal band I wrote about for Stereogum (and posted in last year's thread), have turned the Stereogum headline into a T-shirt:

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 26 March 2017 20:37 (two months ago) Permalink

Sort of weird that the shirt says Stereogum on it instead of their own band name. It could have said DARKE COMPLEX up top (they could keep the little logo for laffs), maybe with an attribution to Stereogum under the quote at the bottom.

JRN, Sunday, 26 March 2017 20:55 (two months ago) Permalink

that looks a bit like a joke gift from a manager; not a lot of thought going on with layout in general when somebody's assistant is having shirts printed

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Sunday, 26 March 2017 21:50 (two months ago) Permalink

I emailed their publicist to see if she can get me one.

Don Van Gorp, midwest regional VP, marketing (誤訳侮辱), Sunday, 26 March 2017 22:00 (two months ago) Permalink

ok I watched a little of their video and the music kind of has a korn vibe too?

the sports jersey rapping guy is really something

mh 😏, Sunday, 26 March 2017 23:27 (two months ago) Permalink

this is low hanging fruit but

global tetrahedron, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 18:21 (one month ago) Permalink

lol at "blattitude"

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 18:23 (one month ago) Permalink

Can you hear the knockin'
Do you know it's rockin'?
There's a party on the other side
Cause it's your daddy on the other side

how's life, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 18:35 (one month ago) Permalink

They're like an earnest Lonely Island.

self-clowning oven (Murgatroid), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:23 (one month ago) Permalink

this song is SIX MINUTES LONG

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:26 (one month ago) Permalink

north dakota's finest

example (crüt), Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:30 (one month ago) Permalink

I made it through the first violin solo but then I had to take a break

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:33 (one month ago) Permalink

who are his two black hype men, they don't even get microphones

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:34 (one month ago) Permalink

uh oh third violin solo!

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:34 (one month ago) Permalink

at least they die at the end

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 29 March 2017 21:37 (one month ago) Permalink

lots of gif potential from this

global tetrahedron, Monday, 3 April 2017 16:36 (one month ago) Permalink

If you know about the love and peace
he's been showin' you
blowin' you
kisses

how's life, Monday, 3 April 2017 16:40 (one month ago) Permalink

I would like for this to knock Ed Sheeran off the top of the charts.

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Monday, 3 April 2017 17:00 (one month ago) Permalink

the rap is like Mike Shinoda if he had suffered a recent stroke

Neanderthal, Monday, 3 April 2017 17:03 (one month ago) Permalink

I actually kinda like this. Not in a way that I would listen to it ever, but I don't think it's the worst. I'm happy for these people and their midwestern blend of Christianity, hip-hop, and triple-threat fiddle.

how's life, Monday, 3 April 2017 17:04 (one month ago) Permalink

also why is this pencildick decked out like a mafioso at the beginning?

is he a Cartel for Christ?

Neanderthal, Monday, 3 April 2017 17:06 (one month ago) Permalink

there's another video of them at a Tedx talk

global tetrahedron, Monday, 3 April 2017 17:06 (one month ago) Permalink

I don't care if you like the jazz or the violins, the rap automatically elevates it to like worst thing of all time

Neanderthal, Monday, 3 April 2017 17:06 (one month ago) Permalink

did we really need another Carman?

Neanderthal, Monday, 3 April 2017 17:07 (one month ago) Permalink

I'm debating whether to put the Zeal & Ardor song I heard on here. It actually isn't a poorly-done song and works pretty well for what it is, but the story behind the dude's music and the choices he made in putting together makes "Devil Is Fine" the most viscerally-repellent thing I've heard so far this year that wasn't by Drake.

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Monday, 3 April 2017 17:09 (one month ago) Permalink

Yeah, this interview is kinda mind-blowing, especially when the interviewer (who posts on ILM very, very, very occasionally) says, "Wait, did I hear that right?"

Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr, and Violent J (誤訳侮辱), Monday, 3 April 2017 18:19 (one month ago) Permalink

Yeah.

Rachel Luther Queen (DJP), Monday, 3 April 2017 18:32 (one month ago) Permalink

not sure this strictly qualifies for this thread but I feel like I need to put it somewhere

Vlogs from other credible bands such as Shed Seven (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 6 April 2017 17:44 (one month ago) Permalink

shape of you certainly needed to be here

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 6 April 2017 17:58 (one month ago) Permalink

this came out last year but unfortunately it is still terrorizing the airwaves and actually starting to cross over somewhat (from alternative to adult pop radio). unfortunately i've had to hear it a million times b/c some ppl i work w/ for whatever reason actually enjoy the sad state of today's alternative radio.

completely abominable.

dyl, Tuesday, 11 April 2017 15:46 (one month ago) Permalink

this is old but i really wanted to share

Bobson Dugnutt (ulysses), Thursday, 20 April 2017 19:12 (one month ago) Permalink

i can't

joshywinty (josh), Friday, 28 April 2017 20:41 (four weeks ago) Permalink

opened this thread expecting to see katy perry's new single

dyl, Friday, 28 April 2017 20:51 (four weeks ago) Permalink

bon appétit, dyl!

joshywinty (josh), Friday, 28 April 2017 20:52 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I was personally expecting the new Fall Out Boy single.

MarkoP, Friday, 28 April 2017 21:54 (four weeks ago) Permalink

yeah i'm waiting for that to make an appearance here (i like it)

ToddBonzalez (BradNelson), Friday, 28 April 2017 21:56 (four weeks ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

sick, fucking funny, and well tasty (katherine), Friday, 19 May 2017 04:46 (one week ago) Permalink

i was scared i was actually going to like it but nope it's trash

dyl, Friday, 19 May 2017 05:33 (one week ago) Permalink

just gonna leave this here

joshywinty (josh), Friday, 19 May 2017 06:08 (one week ago) Permalink

That Frankie Grande inspires more pity than hatred, tbh.

some sad trombone Twilight Zone shit (cryptosicko), Friday, 19 May 2017 14:35 (one week ago) Permalink


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