Worst line from 'Zip Zap Rap' by Devastatin' Dave The Turntable Slave

Those poll options in full:

• SAY NO! (NO!) SAY NO! (NO!) SAY NO TO DRUGS! x 2 (NO TO DRUGS! x 2)
• Rip dibby zap, da zip dap du wap / This is what I call the Zip Zap Rap
• Hichichichy be back in a sec / Zippy zippa zappa gonna spend your whole cheque
• Zip dip zap, a zip wit a wabbit / Zippy dipa wippa got a cocaine habit
• Scooby dooby bip a zip bop blam / It started with a quarter now it is a gram
• Zoom zoom with a scooby doo bop / Buy yourself into projects you're tryin to cop
• Rip and a rap I wrote with a rhyme / I think you better call the cocaine hotline
• Zip dippa wip, you call them on the phone / A zippa dippa wip but yo habit aint gone
• It's been flip flop days and you haven't ate / I could see it in your face you were losin' weight
• Rip rap rop smoking back to back / Zippa dip wip and you had a heart attack
• From playin baseball like Willie Mays / Had you in that hospital for thirty days
• Flip flop flam but now you're back / A zippa dippa wip in your new Cadillac
• Hah, chichicha, like choking on a bone / Zippa rippa rap you gotta leave them drugs alone
• Don't be a fool / Stay in school!
• Don't get high and drive a car / You will not get very far
• Well bap boom bam you'll be up on a pole / You got thirty people pushing but it still won't roll
• And it won't start either 'cause the engine is bent / Next month you'll be crying 'bout the money you spent
• Kids against drugs now say it!
• Don't be a dope / Don't smoke that coke!
• We're talkin' 'bout cocaine / It's not good for your brain
• Zoom zoom boom a zip goes your brain / You know its only cause you've been smokin' cocaine
• Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta talent / Everybody has it so use it gallant...ly
• Maybe you'll get over you will see / That what I'm saying is really real / Like at the swap meet / A serious deal... that could change the course of your life
• It's a lifetime contract, read it with caution / Check out the small print, you've got three options
• The first one is to get your money at the expense of someone else's grief / And you know that all that means good buddy, is that you're a thief
• Second option is a 9 to 5, and 5 to 1 or the 1 to 9 / But if you read closely, you'll see you'll be there for a long time
• The third one is to go for it, and try to get the crop of the cream / When you get tired of drivin', you just hop in your limousine / Ha, a roll on
• Don't be no fool / Drugs ain't cool!
• For me or you / You know that this is true
• A rip rap rollin' with the pretty girls / Zip da wip dippy with your fresh new curls
• Gooby doop bam a zoom zip wap / Everybody to the beat let me hear a loud clap
• Zip zap zoom a bop to the beat / All the little kids put the boogie in your feet
• Kids against drugs let me hear you gettin' down / While the rhythm of the boogie bass rocks the ground
• (ASTHMATIC BEATBOXING)
• PARTY OVER HERE!
• DON'T BE NO FOOL! / STAY IN SCHOOL!
• DON'T BE A HYPE! / DON'T SMOKE THAT PIPE!
• YOU PEOPLE KNOW THE DEAL! / COCAINE DOES MAKE YOU KEEL!
• Hard times, y'all are getting harder / Cash money is the only solution / You gotta get hip to the system trip / Become a soldier in the proper revolution
• Do it now baby, 'cause when you drop the bomb / There won't be nowhere for you to run / Try to spend you last cash then you see a big flash and it's / 5 4 3 2 1 (EXPLOSION SFX)

shortlist

Rip and a rap I wrote with a rhyme / I think you better call the cocaine hotline
Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta talent / Everybody has it so use it gallant...ly

I lost my shit at "Don't get high and drive a car / you will not get very far", not least of all because he completely loses the beat on the second half of that. Although "gallant...ly" is a close second because couldn't he come up with a two syllable word ending in 'ly' to use instead? 'Wisely'?

Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta talent got my vote.

Love the beatboxing section. He sounds like he's making fart noises with his hands.

But I think I'd have to go with the amazingly clumsy line after the "car" one.

Maybe you'll get over you will see / That what I'm saying is really real / Like at the swap meet / A serious deal... that could change the course of your life

Swap meet?? What does that have to do with Saying No To Drugs?

is there a reason "zap" is directly over his crotch

like it SHOULD be "zip" right

asthmatic beatboxing ftw

The final lines cap it all off in a literally apocalyptic non-sequitur. Got my vote.

There's an amazing zen simplicity to "Zip dip zap, a zip wit a wabbit / Zippy dipa wippa got a cocaine habit."

I'm not very savvy when it comes to this stuff, but you don't smoke coke, right?

Usually referred to as smoking crack or freebase, but yes, it is a thing.

right, but not the powder though? I was just confused because the phrase "smoking coke" sounded very odd to me

I remember in high-school some kids would "snow-cap" their blunts, but I don't know how this actually worked out for them.

I'm not very savvy when it comes to this stuff, but you don't smoke coke, right?

― Vinnie

i sure don't! drugs aren't cool!

anyway, this song is truly the ursonate of rap

...ly

wit a wabbit
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jzJ1jlEbbiw/hqdefault.jpg
elmerfudd.gif

I lost my shit at "Don't get high and drive a car / you will not get very far", not least of all because

because truth

Backstory to this track? I'm guessing from circa 1982

This has of course been featured on 'worst album covers' lists for years, but impressively it manages to be even worse than the cover let on. Even his stage name... turntable slave doesn't sound very well thought out when he could have been DJ Alabaster the Turntable Master.

maybe the only entry in that 'worst album cover' list where the music actually lives up to the cover?

xxp released 1986

Ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta talent
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/74/Open_all_hours_arkwright.jpg
arkwrightopenallhours.gif

^ I knew that lyric reminded me of something familiar... that was it!

Can't put my finger on why but I'm going with 'Rip rap rop smoking back to back'.

Rip and a rap I wrote with a rhyme / I think you better call the cocaine hotline

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

i love the simple revelation in this one

Zip dip zap, a zip wit a wabbit / Zippy dipa wippa got a cocaine habit

scratching with "stop" from 'rock and don't stop' at the end of Planet Rock

I like the fact that there's still a lot of mystery around this track, the enigma that is Devastatin' Dave. Even the record sleeve doesn't give many clues, although it does contain an absurdly long list of thank-yous.

http://i.imgur.com/U28NT9J.jpg

Dude, you put out one single. Probably a bit too soon to be writing your Oscar speech.

Tbf he probably knew he'd never make another single

'86 was a vintage year for anti-drugs rekkids...

https://thebeatles1970.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/image172.png

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4fkCi9jEfE

^^^ 1987, and maybe even less equipped to fight drug use, though OTOH it has popped into my head on and off numerous times over the past few decades and I have exercised my right to say no on many occasions, so there's that.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/snm6tulJPqM/hqdefault.jpg
(they allegedly spliffed up in a bathroom in the White House before meeting Nancy Reagan)

^ Ha, yeah! I was going to mention that one!

The Smash Hits archive currently has nearly all the issues from 1986, and almost every issue has some sort of anti-smack advert in it.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Arkwright FTW.