rolling fuck this shit worst songs of 2015 thread

the production is incredibly innovative imo and i think smith has some pretty interesting idiosyncrasies in his vocal performance

I dont think ive heard Latch though i havent googled all the lyrics yet.

Not one from googling but I saw something on the computer called Ninth Parallel that sounds like Prog PC Music, this may be the one that tips me over the edge.

is 'blow up the moon' a 'walk the moon' spinoff band?

ella henderson kinda-sorta happened here too at least w/ that one song but its eventual success was relatively minor compared to how long it was pushed at radio, promoted on tv and such

yeah I remember Ella being on Ellen ages ago singing that song about going down to the river to pray. Always had trouble picturing any of the English people I know bothering to get on the tube to commune with God on the Southbank but I don't know her life

Also I haven't read this thread in weeks I can't believe you still haven't said anything to your co-worker saer lmao

that would be "Ghost" and it's not so much fuck this shit worst as just unremarkable AC filler

We're back again today with the same playlist, I keep thinking I've identified most of the worst offenders, but with it being so long there's always an old enemy from last week reappearing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECzoKdWgvrM

He's back again

Yesterday I put something on before he was able to. I was able to put something on yesterday to stop this attack, but quietly enough it didnt get too much in the way of serenity. Unfortunately I could also hear the air conditioning and some people talking in another room

Today the antagonistic and threatening sounds are back. It reminds me of the day some hooligans from Birmingham City came into the woods and urinated on a resting squirrel and graffitied a tree

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eUdwabtcrE

Or, in case you don't have time to listen to the whole thing, the highlight:

In my dreams you're the dutch and I'm the dutchess
And your blunts are always loose
So I'm in charge of rolling dutches
And we getting so high
We always get the munchies
And we go for early brunches
That turn into late lunches
And we ain't got a label
We just rolling with the punches
I make fun of your belly
And tell you to do some crunches

this might be a good year to start a worst song of the year poll and this is a good place to pull nominations

I think he knows

The music was quieter today, though it was the same playlist

but later on, it disappeared

there is now silence

life is good

boy oh boy I sure love that low-hanging fruit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7--C6Qb-JAs

Those lyrics are haunting. I like the part where they say baby baby over and over.

lol

as easy they are to hate i do find bep genuinely amusing much of the time :(

he is humming

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a8qXZoiszs

"any requests? I have too much to choose from"

this is a new playlist now he has put on now, ed sheeran followed by swedish house mafia. and his humming along

SRSLY americans why the fuck did you legitimise him, JUST SAY NO to boring bland british whiteboy soul

hahaha no one ever went broke betting on American susceptibility to this shit

I feel barely-positive about Disclosure and hate Sam Smith with the heat of hell but "Latch" is a total jam

actually I guess I hate hearing it out but on the radio it sounds perfect

god, is that only song that uptight motherfucker has ever sounded LOOSE on?

latch is disclosure's best song. liking their others and not that is to labour under a misapprehension

The longer but essentially identical answer is that this very whitebread congeniality sets up shop at the exact point where politeness short-circuits with rudeness, offering a soulfulness so garish, so ripe for colonisation by a particularly gauche display of aspirationalism, that it can only end up as the authentic* music of a street culture disinterested in the vexed, handwringing negotiations of self and other that both inspire and erode 90% of contemporary British dance music.

tim f's sharpest bit of crit this decade imo

(that's about 'control' i should say but it remains the pertinent vector into "bland whiteboy soul" hardman postures)

Yesterday I left the room briefly and came back in and everyone was laughing, and he said "yeah sorry, guilty pleasure this one"

lmao I should clarify that was a *positive* writeup of "control" (as it well should be)

between video and song this is a pretty good contender for worst of the year imo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSam5sBjvPk
"Most video directors thought my ideas were too zany, I forced myself to learn how to edit and directed the video myself, and who better to star in my video then The Fat Jewish who has always been a supporter of my Instagram page. I wanted to create something that made you feel like you were on drugs and portrayed internet culture in a nutshell."

It gave me a headache and so I took an aspirin, so technically speaking I suppose I do now feel like I'm on drugs.

i was able to last 1 minute before shutting it down

SPLURT
#OMW2SYG
"The Fat Jew"
"Swiggity Swooty I'm Comin Fo Dat Booty"
pseudo-"RAPPA POM POM!"-dancehall stylez
champagne facial
sub-tim and eric video skills
"OFFICIAL MERCH"
recurring iphone framing
#SWOOTYDANCE

i'm just saying this has everything you want from a legit worst song of 2015 contender

This might be a controversial offering, but Little Big Town has a new Top 40 crossover called "Girl Crush." It's not about platonic admiration of another woman, it's about being furiously jealous of a girl who gets to date someone she has a standard crush on. Even the intimations of lesbian urges are couched in this jealousy. I want to taste her lips is followed by Yeah, 'cause they taste like you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYZMT8otKdI

Hoping this doesn't start some "is it right or wrong to be offended/not offended" thing, but using the phrase "i've got a girl crush" to mean "i wish that i was jessie's girl" seems pretty fucking tragic

turns out jezebel already wrote about the song (figured it made the radar of people who don't wait till it hits the top 40), but in terms of country audiences not digging the saphphic winks, rather than the co-option of the phrase "girl crush" to mean something bitter

http://themuse.jezebel.com/little-big-towns-girl-crush-a-perfect-storm-of-country-1693794535

i'm not saying your take is necessarily wrong, but that song is great

feel like a song like this generates its energy *because* its gets its own core concept wrong. it's "annoying."

yeah i wonder if it would do as well if the line was "I have a hate crush"

like, everyone knows what "girl crush" means, everyone knows what lesbianism is, even way down there in nashville. this is... both! neither! some other thing! about a dude anyway!

i think "girl crush" is a beautiful song and i love it but i feel your take croup

phrases like 'man crush'/'woman crush' etc have just become another 'no homo' anyways (perhaps they always were but at first it was at least kinda charming that heteros were getting less uptight abt expressing strong maybe-physical admiration for members of the same sex)

it's definitely well written, catchy, etc. not pretending there's songs i love that aren't also reprehensible and depressing in their pandering/co-option.

i see that charlie puth is (rightly) an alum of this thread, i only realized yesterday via radio dj chatter that his surname is pronounced 'pooth'

it's about mimetic desire

Cant wait to find out whether Blake or brad gets to be the guy at a country music awards show who talks about someone with a hot wife and then sings "I got a guy crush" to applause

"girl crush," as an expression, I thought expressed or expresses something important for which it felt like there hadn't been a good phrase before. an experience people had and recognized. ime it was never "no homo" in the way that "man crush" usually got laden with (due to bro-ist usage from pretty early on i think, and much more commonly used as "YOU have a man crush on him, ha ha ha!"). it was a good thing for our culture to have more ways of women expressing admiration, solidarity, and even the kind of passionate but not necessarily sexual (but not necessarily not) feelings you can have towards other people, especially when you're young and they just seem so tremendously awesome and amazing. but our pop music just leaves this all behind.

woolf:

It was protective, on her side; sprang from a sense of being in league together, a presentiment of something that was bound to part them (they spoke of marriage always as a catastrophe), which led to this chivalry, this protective feeling which was much more on her side than Sally's. For in those days she was completely reckless; did the most idiotic things out of bravado; bicycled round the parapet on the terrace; smoked cigars. Absurd, she was--very absurd. But the charm was overpowering, to her at least, so that she could remember standing in her bedroom at the top of the house holding the hot-water can in her hands and saying aloud, "She is beneath this roof.... She is beneath this roof!"

team dresch:

It's where the obvious turns dumb, and clarity turns off
I'm standing somewhere near the back of the room
I'm on my left - I'm in between her
She's amazing, her words save me
She holds her head as if it's truth

and we get, what, "i kissed a girl and i liked it"? i might be a little out of date with that reference. and not being a pop-hating snob, just a pop lover disappointed in the state of the art.

well like i was getting at with the brad-paisley-at-the-cmas scenario, if a guy sang about mimetic desire (a phrase i didn't actually know before it came up here!) and referred to it in anguished self-seriousness as a "guy crush", people would be rofling. but between this and "i kissed a girl" - where katy keeps demeaning the smoochee as an "experimental game" etc - pop is clearly ok with the idea of these kinds of self-loathing erotic impulses coming from women.

and to be clear, i can totally understand being affected by "girl crush" AS an ugly expression of mimetic desire - "Kissed A Girl" is probably one of my favorite Katy Perry songs because of that weird, contemptuous undertone. i just find it depressing that 20 years after "rebel girl," THIS is how the phrase "girl crush" makes the top 40.

DC & dc otm

as hot a take as "those backwards hillbillies who listen to country" is for sites who only cover music for the viral angles, the "controversy" is largely not:

http://m.billboard.com/entry/view/id/119493

yeah i was kinda surprised when i searched for commentary about this song and just found "can hillbillies handle GIRLS KISSING?" as if the GIRLS KISSING aspect wasn't couched in male-flattering lovers-triangle talk

KRYS Corpus Christi, Texas, has only recently begun spinning the song, and while PD Big Frank Edwards says it's too soon to gauge a response, he adds, "I'm a narrow-minded, conservative, eighth generation Texan, and I think the song is fine."

gonna end all my reviews like that