Top 100 disturbing/distracting/definitely non-sexy examples of purportedly sexual pop lyrics

Submitted for your approval: Emerson Lake & Palmer's "Taste Of My Love." I cannot imagine a more perfect song for this thread.

"Taste Of My Love"

Oh, you look so hungry, woman
How come you strayed in here
With your eyes so bright
On this long hot night

Could it be for a taste of my love

Down on your knees
With your face to the wall
Saying please, please, please
My friend said I should call

Well, I do feel lonely, woman
And to tell the truth
I could use some company
So come closer to me

Help yourself to a taste of my love

Call up room service
Order peaches and cream
I like my dessert first
If you know what I mean

Yeah, taste it, taste it, taste it
Around the maze of pleasure
To the gates of pain
You're driving me insane

Take all you need from the taste of my love

I want to love you
Like nobody ever loved you
Get on my stallion
And we'll ride

I want to hold you
And enfold you beyond reason
I want to dynamite your mind
With love tonight

Go down gently
With your face to the east
The sun may be rising
But we haven't finished the beast

Ooh, you still look hungry, woman
I'm glad your came in here
With your eyes so bright
On this long hot night

Ooh, you need love, I need love
Here it comes, the taste of my love

I'm gonna love you
Like nobody ever loved you
Climb on my rocket
And we'll fly

Over the moon
Past the sun 'til we find
The gates of heaven
Open wide for lovers

I'm gonna love you
Like nobody ever loved you
Climb on my rocket
And we'll fly

"Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth"

― Mark G, Monday, March 16, 2015 11:59 AM

Somehow the first time I've made the connection between this Damien Rice line and Ed Sheeran singing "Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?"

yuk.

Written when he was twelve maybe? (xpost)

Yeah, I noticed that too.

The new Calvin Harris/Big Sean song, 'Open Wide', seriously

I'm taking off her blouse
While she taking off my trousers
[...]
Open that shit wide
Let me see how big your mouth is

Before she reach
I could smell her perfume
I could not wait to get her inna di room
Feel like a surgeon
Prepare di surgery
But I hope di likkle girl no charge me fi perjury
Action wit di injection
Worky, worky girl, according to plan

"Running down a central reservation in last night's red dress
And I can still smell you on my fingers and taste you on my breath"

if you wouldn't be pleased if Beth Orton txted you this the next day then I

Not disturbing & prob too obvious, but— Led Zeppelin “Whole Lotta Love.” Just goes to show, imo, double entendres for penis in song almost invariably fail to be sexy.

lol I remember as a young teen (still uncomfortable with the idea of sex), already happily listening to punk & psych rock, yet for some reason I had an aversion to Led Zeppelin. I remember telling my friend metaphorically it had “too much cock in it,” ha!

Show me what you got on my LCD
Let's get down to it
So you can get down on me
Cybering is so 1999
You've got to be textually active
If you wanna be mine

'Cause...

I wanna fuck you hard
I wanna feel you deep
I wanna rock your body
I wanna taste your sweet

I wanna fuck you hard
I wanna feel you deep
I wanna aah ahh
I wanna aah ahh

When I text it's sex! sex! sex!
You start to undress! Dress!
Poppin' out your chest,
In your friends' request.
Now I'm rocking on your top
And you know I just can't stop stop
Make you drop
Feel you up till I hit the spot
'Cause I can't take TAKE TAKE
ALL THIS WAIT! WAIT!
I'm so impatient
You got me wait'n
Cut this shit!
Show your tits!
Flip it out on my sidekick
Like quagmire on family guy
Giggity! Giggity! All the time

that's from the same song

now and forever I love Neil Diamond's "Forever in Blue Jeans":

and honey's sweet
but it ain't nothing next to baby's treat

we have a winner. xp

i find some of those "feel like makin love" 70s rock cliches kind of hot tbr.

"Afternoon Delight" with its fish metaphor

but you got some bait awaitin' and I think I might
try nibbling a little afternoon delight

i find some of those "feel like makin love" 70s rock cliches kind of hot tbr.

true, tacky and sexy not mutually exclusive

Nibbling the bait takes the cake.

Bob's Yer Uncle / Happy Mondays

look, up in the sky, it's Paul the sweet banana with possibly the most awful ever:

Well, well, take off your face
Recover from the trip you've been on
I want you to lie on the bed
Get you ready for my body gun

I'm gonna do it to you, gonna do ya sweet banana
You've never been done
Yes, like a rabbit, gonna grab it
Gonna do it 'til the night is done

Officially, it's "Polygon" but yeah.

(.. naah)

ken andrews (failure guy) typically has about one of these per album. there's an ON album that has some couplet about getting a girl drunk and tasting her "ocean funk"

"Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth"

― Mark G, Monday, 16 March 2015 11:59 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Could you all maybe include the name of the artist and song with the lyrics, for context?

― Tuomas, Monday, 16 March 2015 12:23 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yes

no

Beyoncé - 'Blow':

Can you eat my skittles
It's the sweetest in the middle
Pink is the flavor
Solve the riddle

I'm a lean back
Don't worry it's nothing major
Make sure you clean that
It's the only way to get the
Flavor

This gem by Enrique Iglesias:

You know my motivation
Given my reputation
Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude
But tonight I'm fucking you

haha well as far as that goes nothing beats Akon following up "I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful" with "Damn, you's a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch."