pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

jfc, as if there isn't an infinitely growing universe of personal minutiae published daily on the web

yes as whiney put it on your tumblr and let this not cross my path

As someone who's read thousands of wedding-advice articles over the last six months, I'd also like to note that on its merits, it's a crappy wedding-advice article.

we did our own wedding music and tbh we did a fantastic job but i don't think anyone wants to hear me talk about it.

tho if i did i would do a better job than that guy.

yo CAD.... BRING IN THE KATZ

brb gonna post a "Songs for Gay Sex" list on my tumblr

I don't see "Shout" listed anywhere on that page, which completely undermines the entire premise of this person DJing a wedding as far as I'm concerned.

it is offensive to think an amateur could successfully DJ his own wedding or gay sex on the first try. i mean, this is somebody's job. have some respect.

Gay Marriage to Alfred: Your Soundtrack (xp)

I've been asked to give some advice about how to prepare gay sex playlists. That’s not an easy job. Every gay and sex is, obviously, very different. Your “elaborate Bacchanalian” gay sex is likely going to be very different from our "DIY, tent in the woods" gay sex. (Man, do I hate the term “DIY gay sex” with all its Pinterest and Pornhub aesthetic implications, but it is what it is.)

props if you actually did that raymond scott ending whiney

incredibly obvious considerations dressed up as revelatory knowledge

this is the biggest problem with this piece (which is saying something)

"consider putting in big hits and older stuff that the old ppl might recognize and enjoy"
"I know you like to listen to Rick Ross but that might kill your dance party"

sage advice. that is some real wedding wizard shit there

If only this article had been around when my friend played Mystikal's Shake Ya Ass, to general consternation, at a smart rural wedding 14 years ago.

this article is really making me feel like a room without a roof

props if you actually did that raymond scott ending whiney

― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Monday, May 19, 2014 1:12 PM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I did. Only one ILXor was at my wedding, mercifully, so maura can confirm if she reads this thread

i can confirm this!

good music all night

where's my pitchfork article

right next to my wedding invitation
*cries all night*

jesus

the perfect last song

the rest of the night will feature the first 57 seconds of this song. the dj will loop it back after the second knopfler 'woo hoo'

the doors are locked so don't try to leave

xp Ha, I did once end a wedding set with the Theme From Cheers.

I bet Benny Goodman would be more fun to listen to than half the shit that guy ended up putting on his list

there are lots of larger, more egregious things about that article, but putting "you're not the one" on the dancing playlist seems very odd

hide the evidence

She didn't want to hire a wedding photographer.
I thought it would be best to enlist DJ Pre-Prepared Playlists Via My MacBook Air.
At this point, I’ve spent hours trying to nail down the right playlists, and it is not an easy job. There's a lot of second-guessing involved. I frequently catch myself trying to get in the heads of my more musically attuned friends who will be in attendance—people in bands, friends who have been loudly critical of my road trip playlists, and so forth. I've had to remind myself a bunch of times that hey, it's my wedding, and if people have a problem with the music I pick, tough shit.

good attitude

tough shit

(Man, do I hate the term “DIY wedding” with all its Pinterest and Etsy-based aesthetic implications, but it is what it is.)

yeah tbh i do hate weddings where they try to overthink certain aspects into an overly refined style that tries to please everyone

if you want to hit a broad range of people and have everyone from hipsters to grandmas have fun, i feel like leaning heavily on motown/stax/60s soul & R&B is a good call

at my wedding the music will just be 'me and my bitch' on a loop for three hours, and if anyone has a problem, tough shit

xp yea definitely. everybody loves that stuff. was probably 80% of our wedding music

I'm still mad that "Ventolin" was vetoed from my wedding playlist

man, do i hate the idea of a wedding suggestive in any way of indie websites *writes article about wedding playlist for pitchfork dot com*

aphex twin xp?

Is there another "Ventolin" out there?

there's glycerin out there

if you want to hit a broad range of people and have everyone from hipsters to grandmas have fun, i feel like leaning heavily on motown/stax/60s soul & R&B is a good call

― dollar rave club (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, May 20, 2014 10:12 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I gave my DJ some Numero comps too for extra hipster points

xp not sure, i have asthma so "ventolin" has always existed as this whole other thing for me. had it in my mind though that it was also an aphex twin song

I just think of the Garbage song "don't forget your ventolin"

"Stigmata" was also vetoed but I didn't feel as strongly about that one.

I just think of the Garbage song "don't forget your ventolin"

― 龜, Tuesday, May 20, 2014 10:39 AM

i kinda hated picking the music to my wedding. i've always felt self conscious about liking music as much as i do, it feels like a character flaw and frankly i hate the idea of using it to "show off "to people, makes me nauseous...so we did a few things, like she walked in to this old roger miller song her and her dad listened to and we danced to "this will be our year" by the zombies

but we kept it pretty lite like soul/r&b stuff...some talking heads shit like that

i dunno

people seemed to have fun, was a good nite, lot of that stuff people fuss over on weddings is kind of whogivesashit.jpg

i would hate to like make my nice aunt uncomfortable by playing some song w/swearing in it or something, she's a nice lady...

haha our recessional was 'this will be our year'

oh yeah and not the country roger miller it was mission of burma roger miller, deep birdsongs of the mesozoic jam FUCKERS and then my vows were lecturing everyone about how eno left some really crucial no wave bands off No New York

Dudes my sister and her significant other played "This Will Be Our Year" at my wedding. By trying to avoid cliche we become cliche.

i fuckin played metal machine music on 8 track and everyone fuckin appluaded when i got married

j/k i'm unloavable no one will marry me