Rolling UK Pop/Chart/"Few people would dispute that Elbow have given us the album of the year" Thread 2009

FFS:

1 - straight in - the fucking Saturdays. This fucking country.
2 Kelly C
3 Flo Rida Sings Dead Or Alive
4 GaGa (Poker)
5 Taylor Swift
6 TI/Justin
7 Lily
8 GaGa (Dance)
9 Shontelle
10 Leon & his Kings

In the albums U2 at number one but so far only 65,000 sold. At 11 the Answer and at 13 the Red Light Company.

I'll get me coat.

In the albums U2 at number one but so far only 65,000 sold.

Coulda sold more if record shop assistants weren't so intimidating and rude.

Lex I'm glad you've become a "Love Story" convert! It is weird how, for such an instant/"classic" seeming pop song it takes a few listens to click.

i've become a huge taylor convert over the past week (well, not convert - i just hadn't bothered to listen before, but w/the press ramping up over here, her albums finally fell into my letterbox). the entire fearless album is incredible. she has such a gift for a great denouement. on deadline so no time to write more, but frank and i have been talking about her on poptimists.

hey two amazing albums called fearless in the space of less than a year. hurrah for jazmine sullivan/taylor swift mindmeld.

also, no sign of princess nyah's 'frontline' in the itunes top 100. another UK funky fail :(

another UK funky fail

Would have made a better U2 album title.

Suggest Chart Ban on Comic Relief records.

ONCE AGAIN CARLIN SETS MORAL TONE FOR UK RECORD-BUYING PUBLIC as, by the shortest of short heads, Flo Rida pips The Saturdays to nab his first UK number one, and deny them theirs. Unless Wikipedia's fibbing, that's the first Comic Relief single to miss out on the top spot since "Absolutely Fabulous" back in 1994 (and the first in a year when the telethon takes place since "Stick It Out" in 1993). Other interesting things about this top 10 - none.

Aside from the top two, our highest new entry goes to... Chipmunk! Tis pity it's not, like, particularly good or anything, but "Chip Diddy Chip" wipes its feet, doffs its cap and enters at 21. "Sex On Fire" dips to 22 this week, so that's the cue for "Revelry" to come storming in with reinforcements at 29; Uninteresting New Lemar Single is at 31, and Beyonce's "Halo" being at 40 means that both she and the Kings of the Leon have three singles each inside this week's top 40.

In albums: U2 STILL ON TOP for first week. Red Light Company's £5.99 At HMV gets them to number 13, one spot ahead of All The Tina Turner That's Fit To Print. The Answer get to be the new Dragonforce, sort of, at 26.

Lex, do not underestimate Kelly's latest so fast. Fav tracks are "All I Ever Wanted", "Already Gone" and "Longshot", huge on dramatic bombast and closer to My December than what one would think by looking at the album cover.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH CHARITY: Brydon & Jones' lustily crap take on "Islands in the Stream" puts Tom Jones on top for the first time since - who'd have thunk? - "Green Green Grass of Home", way back in 1966. Flossie slips to 2, meaning he's still exactly one position ahead of The Saturdays, whose failure to make number one last week may have very well set the seal on them being the new Rachel Stevens, if her career had consisted entirely of her cover of "More More More". Akon's new single gets to number 9, possibly by accident; even less conspicuously, it turns out that Oasis has a new single this week, too! It's at number 10, edging out "Just Dance", meaning that, for the first time in, er, a bit, there's only one Lady GaGa single in the top 10 ("Coming For To Carry My Poker Face", #4).

Elsewhere: September's had a second hit! Crumbs! "Can't Get Over" is YOUR number 14, people, with "Halo" climbing to number 20 in commemoration of this fact (First Day Covers will be available at Post Offices nationwide from tomorrow morning). After 74 weeks (approx.) outside the top 40, Katy Perry's After Singing A Ballad Now, Is She? finally makes its own wee breakthrough and is at 27. US teen synth-rock boys (i.e. they ugly) Metro Station have their one and only UK hit at 37 (will probably climb), and Your Actual Worst Single Of 2009 So Far, Annie Lennox's cover of "Shining Light", somehow drags its sorry ass to number 39 (will hopefully not climb).

Albums: U2 STILL ON TOP - TWO WEEKS OF DOMINANCE, THIRTY YEARS OF OMNIPOTENCE. Annie Lennox's The Collection gets to number two, one ahead of Kelly C. T-Swift is at number 5, one ahead of Faryl's One Hayley Westenra Is Never Enough. Big week for Very Best Ofs - Michael Ball is at 11, The Dubliners at 16, Everly Brothers at 23 - and that's obviously why Starsailor could only make number 26 with their new one. Lee Mead's second album - was he always on Fascination, btw? - creeps in at number 39.

Annie Lennox's cover of "Shining Light", somehow drags its sorry ass to number 39 (will hopefully not climb)

pretty scary cover too
http://www.chartstats.com/images/singles/34257.jpg

More on that Lee Mead album:

Highlights include the lead track from the album, "Nothing Else Matters", a duet with Hayley Westenra on "When The Stars Go Blue" and the Spandau Ballet classic, "Through The Barricades".

I am pretty tolerant of Westenra thanks to unpopular Nintendo Wii fish-molesting simulator Endless Ocean.

IN SHOPS TOMORROW:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51nsf5W9QkL._SS500_.jpg

HE HAS COVERED "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY"

Looking forward to Mrs Keating's answer record F U Right Back.

His mum's dead. Show some compassion.

F U Right Back From Beyond the Grave

job done.

The Comic Relief TOTP special, basically the show that would have been on (for the most part), had the show not been canned, specifically to showcase the two CR singles.

But oh! The Saturdays did not fulfil their part of the script! Instead, a bemused Flo Rider and crew get to perform the mandatory number one end-of-show song, and seemed to be the party record everyone enjoyed! How about that! TOTP lives and bites back!

And ends up being a much better 'final show' than the pony 'highlights' thing that was the real 'final' one.

Oh, and let us not forget Barry Gibb doing nothing perceptible on the record, but getting a co-performer credit on a number one hit to his name.

(Lay off the hair dye, wack!)

Robin Gibb, dammit!

didn't notice but last week's top 10 featured only 2 songs by male artists. maybe not a first but feels v unusual.

COMIC RELIEF "NOT FOR LIFE, JUST FOR CHRISTMAS" as "Barry Islands In The Stream" is unceremoniously dumped from number one by...

...

...

...

"Poke of Face", which hits the top spot having initially entered at number 30 fully nine weeks ago. I can't think of the last time it's taken a song that long to reach number one - the only one I can think of that comes remotely close would be "You're Beautiful", which went top in its seventh week on the chart.

Popular Comedy Foursome wind up directly swapping places with Popular Comedy Onesie, in fact, as they drop to three with Flossie hanging onto number two. Beyonce's tribute to converting old churches into shit nightclubs climbs to number nine; other than that, not much interesting going on in the top 10...

But outside it, well. A combination of the music of Printed Circuit, an androgynous redhead girl in a trenchcoat and probably the worst fake driving ever witnessed in music video history propels La Roux's "In The Kill" to number 11, three places ahead of Big Box Hollywood Star at 14. "Up All Night"'s steady irrelevance continues at 19, one place ahead of the stunningly rubbish Pussycat Dolls ft. Nicole Scherzinger (something tells me that name might not stick) "re-imagining" of AR Rahman's "Jai Ho!" As I so fearlessly predicted last week, Metro Station do indeed climb, all the way to 22; Franz Ferdinand have to do iPod ads now, and it gets them to 27; and Unnecessary Enrique/Ciara collaboration makes its way to number 30. One spot behind "Sex On Fire", which now looks certain to outlast its funny-smelling cousin, "Revelry", which is currently languishing at 37.

In the albums, the Mother's Day Champion Chase is won at a canter by - oh yes - Ronan Fucking Keating, crossing the line several lengths ahead of Annie Lennox, Kings of Leon and, er, Faryl, with long-time leader STILL ON TOP languishing back in sixth. Major sales bumps go to Bette Midler, who climbs 12 to number 9; The Saturdays, who are up 13 at 20; and Definitely 100% Super-Top Lionel Richie & The Commodores, up 22 to number 14 in order to celebrate the release of Lionel Richie's actual new album, Fuck Off, which lands at number ten. Peter Doherty - the Andrew Cole of indie - enters at 17 with I Think You'll Find William Blake Would Agree With Me, with Barry Manilow's Unprovoked Assault On The 1980s at 22 and New UCJ Thingy Melody Gardot at number 40.

the skream remix of that la roux track is really good - original is total pony though, and wtf is with her name? "la roux" MAKES NO SENSE ugh. i mean...why not la rousse?

rolling funky fail update: KIG's 'head, shoulders, knees & toes' enters at no 41. perempay & dee's massive 'in the air' finally gets a digital release, fails to bother top 75. i hate the stupid charts and stupid britishers blah blah blah

also, ne-yo's 'closer' took ages to get to no 1 too. polyhex says its chart run was:

22-24-12-7-5-3-2-{1}-2-4-6-4-6-8-11-12-16-22-27-26-28-33-37-42-46-55-63-65-68-66R(5)-62->31

Still just the eight weeks, mind; then again, I'd actually forgotten that ever got to number one at all...

La Roux (the singer at least)'s mum:
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42657000/jpg/_42657375_acklandlive_cut.jpg

NME bringing you the big stories first, comments section not entirely interested

Unnecessary Enrique/Ciara collaboration

"too much time on ilx"

Incidentally, this week sees "Use Somebody" racking up exactly half a year in the top 40. It's currently at number ten.

TWO WEEKS OF "POKER FACE" NOT REALLY INTERESTING ENOUGH TO PUT IN CAPS but never mind. GaGa gets a second week on top, anyhow, edging out The Noisettes, who get to be this year's reason for New Young Pony Club to act all huffy and such by dint of attempting to sell some car or other. They also get to be the only British act in this week's top ten; for god only knows what reason, JAY HURRRR is YOUR number five, and Metro Station make somewhat inevitable climb to number nine. Akon's "Gor Blimey, You're A Fetching Young Filly, Ain'tcher?" continues to have the number eight spot on lawk.

La Roux, tragiquely, reste at le numero eleven. Not even that freakishly uninteresting article in The Times' weekend magazine, where she and her music were basically equated to processed ham, could make the British public want "In For The Kill" more than "My Life Would Suck Without You". She does get to stay a nose in front of Unnecessary Remix Of "Show Me Love", though, as that debuts at 12, and at least she's not The Saturdays - "Just Can't Get Enough" is powerbombed from 4 to 14 this week. Back-to-back Lillah singles a bit lower down, as "Not Fair" enters at 16, one spot ahead of "The Fear", and then ROLLING UK FUNKY SUCCESS as KIG's "Head, Shoulderz, Kneez & Toez" debutz at 18. Unnecessary Enrique/Ciara Single is now at number 20.

Some kind of MP3 thing less popular than some kind of car is only possible explanation for Franz only climbing to 22; White Lies "still tedious", confirms #34; Jennnnnnnnifer Hudson gets her second hit at 37; and Asher Roth's "We May As Well Just Go Home Now" debuts at 40 to preface the worst summer in living memory.

On a similar note - Ronang is still top of the albums! Go belated Mother's Day! People still feeling the need to buy Kings of Leon and Lady GaGa albums sees Pet Shop Boys get nudged from the midweek summit down to number four; Lillah and Prodge make decent-ish climbs to 6 and 7, and at number eight, Akon's Freedom makes its first-ever top 10 incursion.

Lower down, residual climbs for Elbow and Fleet Foxes confirm them as top 40 fixtures from here to eternity; Royksopp's new one debuts at 21; James Morrison's first album resurfaces at 22; some sort of reissue of Pearl Jam's Ten is at 29; and Mastodon make it to number 34. Other than that, yeah, HMV sale or something, resulting in lots of climbs for things that have been around for aaaages, and a top 40 debut for Ladyhawke's album at 32.

I finally heard the Asher Roth/Lady Gaga by accident the other day (flatmate had radio 1 on while we played Pro Evo) and... I have to say, I love that we live in a world where I can hopefully just only hear these things once or twice in passing at most, a couple years ago I couldn't imagine a world where I wouldn't be hearing something like this all the time. 'Pokerface' is horrible, downright horrible. (Although if 1Xtra picks up the Roth in a big way I may quit general daytime radio forever.)

THR-THR-THR-THR-THREE WEEKS - NO, REALLY, "Poker Face" has been the UK's favourite song for three weeks now. It tops a hellishly uninteresting top ten, enlivened only by La Roux unconvincingly miming pulling out of a slipstream to make it up to number 7. Oh, and JAY HURRRR may possibly have a run at the top spot, having climbed to 3, just behind The Noisettes.

Under-under-under: Just Jack returns to the top 40. What a wondrous sentence that is, eh? "Embers" is at 17, and then, guess what? Jack Penate returns to the top 40! Yes, we all with the great stuff kids go for this week, and "Tonight's Today" is your number 23. Five places behind that - Doves! I am going to guess that Fearne Cotton is loving that (where that = "Kingdom of Rust", obv). Then Pink's second half-decent single in a row makes it to 31, four spots ahead of Flo Rida's second consecutive ignoring of a THIS IS NOT YOUR SKIP sign; and then, Lady Sovereign returns to the top 40! "So Human" gets all the way to number 38.

Under-under-under-under - "Untouchable" is knocking on the door at 41, while "Amy's Not At Her Desk Right Now, Can I Take A Message?" makes its first serious strides at 45, one ahead of Urgh James Morrison. Bat Of Lashes rises to 56 from 79 last week, but I can't see it going much beyond that; and Shontelle's done a song with Akon and it's at 72 oh joy.

SEXWATCH '09: "Sex On Fire" officially outlasts "Revelry" by climbing back to 27 while its sibling drops to 50.

ALBUMS: Oh look, Lady Gaga's number one there too, and the BBC seems very excited about that and I'm not quite sure why. Ronang drops to four, Annie climbs to three, and I would reckon you've probably already guessed Kings of Leon are number two. Flo Rida's A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. is highest new entry at five; second-highest would be Laughing Len at 19, then Peej and John Parish at 25, Metro Station at 35, and Gomez at 63. X amount of fun, X amount of laughter.

Gomez to become first band to win Mercury twice, calling it

Laughing Len at 19

really?

BRITISH POP "STILL ON TOP" - yup, Calvin Harris gets his first non-Dizzee-assisted number one, "I'm Not Alone" dislodging Poke Of Face after three bastard weeks, AND NOT ONLY THAT but La Roux storms up to number four in some kind of rubbish-eyewear double-whammy. And The Noisettes are still number five! Everything's alright forever! Lovely Sexy Magic zooms in at 6.

The Hillsborough memorial single is at 16, with Depeche Mode quite predictably entering at 24. Bat For Lashes gets a first-ever top 40 hit at 36 (from little acorns do MGMT grow), and, in further "what you've all been waiting for" news, James Morrison's follow-up to "Broken Strings" enters at 39, 21 spots behind its predecessor.

Lady Gaga is still Bestest at album-selling, tho, with Doves having to settle for second place. Bat For Lashes - literally EVERYWHERE this week - charts at 5, with YYYs at 3+3+3 (i.e. nine). For some reason Tapestry is at 12 - some kind of reissue thing? - and, for less reasons, Eoghan Quigg is at 14. Nu-Neil-Young at 22, Totally Best Of Ultravox Ever at 35.

The Tapestry reissue is even getting TV adverts unusually.

Oh, and "Is That Amy You'd Be Looking For, Then?" has climbed into the top 40 at 35.

Oddly enough, though, there's drops for "I Love College" (down to 41), "Sugar" (down to 35), and... "Untouchable", which is down to 42 from 41. I'm guessing that's down to it not being out physically yet, but I think that First Girls Aloud Single Not To Go Top 10 medal might just be finding a chest to get pinned on.

Elsewhere: Fightstar's not-exactly-any-good "Mercury Summer" is at 46, one ahead of Ercola's "Every Word". Two Miley singles - "The Climb" advanceth to 49, and "Hoedown Throwdown" (do not want to know) is new at 62. The Jools Holland Effect sends "Zero" rocketing to 68. There's another Basshunter single, and it's at 76, one ahead of "White Winter Hymnal", which is two ahead of The Prodigy's "Warriors Dance". Deadmau5 and Kaskade climb to 91, five spots ahead of Eoghan Quigg's reworking of "Get Off The Internet". Alexandra Burke's "Hallelujah" re-enters at 86.

ACTUAL FUCKING HISTORY RIGHT HERE PEOPLE: For the first time ever, a song with "Number 1" in the title has actually got to number one in the charts and it's Tinchy Stryder and hat-boy from N-Dubz wot done it. Congratulations to them and their pretty half-decent record. Having missed last week's chart (SECOND WEEK OF NON-ALONE-NESS is what I would have called it fwiw), I also missed La Roux soaring (painfully) to number two, which is where she/they stay this week, with The Calvinist slipping to number three. Yes, that's an all-British top three right there for the first time since... don't actually know, but I'll be going and checking ChartStats in a bit to find out, won't I? Yes I will. Aside from "We Made You" climbing to number five, nothing else of interest in the top 10, really.

BUT OUTSIDE THAT: Biffy Clyro offshoot Marmaduke Duke get the festival season started early, with "Rubber Lover" (YES SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE THERE) getting to number 12, one ahead of Pink Has Designs On Your Kneecaps, which is in turn three ahead of Miley Cyrus' "Maybe I Like The Misery". Prodigy's back-ness continues, with "Warriors Dance" getting to 18, and Keri Hilson has her first proper grown-up hit with "Return The Favor", at 20.

"Numa Numanenome" is at 22, Championg At Beer Pong re-enters at 26, one ahead of "A Personal Journey Through The Theme Tune From Tiny Planets With Girls Aloud", and Deadmau5 brings back the heyday of all chart dance acts being slightly dodgy Amiga-based animations (there was Usura, and... someone else), with "I Remember" finally breaching the 40 at 39 (one ahead of Bat For Lashes).

BUT OUTSIDE THOSE: Not posting last week meant missing Frankmusik's first top 40 hit, and this week it drops from 26 to 42. Sizeable-ish hoiks for "Hoedown Throwdown" (43) and Third Alesha Dixon Single (45). It would also appear that "Zero" peaked last week at 49 - it's at 64 this week :-(

It's another week of GAGA SMASH PUNY ALBUM CHART, not sure how long that makes it now but never mind eh. Depeche Mode have to settle for runner-up spot, Noisettes are at 7, Fightstar's Be Human (ewwwwwwwwwwwww) debuts at 20. And at 32 - CAMERA OBSCURA! Seriously! The Scottish ones! With the woolly hats! And the scowling! And such! Paul Morley's endorsement puts them six whole spots ahead of Asher "So Many Other Songs" Roth, with Entirely Necessary 10cc Best Of one spot further back. Lacuna Coil's Shallow Life (ewwwwwwwwwwwww) is at 43, and Christy Moore's new thing charts at 51. One behind Eoghan Quigg :-(

And the answer - 29th March 2008 ("American Boy" - "Mercy" - "Better In Time/Footprints In The Sand").

and?

lol at Gallows and Maccabees beating The Horrors in the LP charts.

Not much else happening, is there?

wonder if there will be any #1s this year that AREN'T a solo artist (either with/without guests). Comic Relief collectives don't count.

Black Eyed Peas, probably?

and of course the Manics with "Jackie Collins Existential Question Time"

Midweeks:

Singles

1 Dizzee Rascal 45.5k
2 Black Eyed Peas 22.4k
3 Alexander Rybak (Eurovision winner) 14.7k
4 Tinchy/N-Dubz 14.3k
5 Eminem 12.6k

Top 10
7 Daniel Merriwether

Top 15
Soulja Boy
15 Jade Ewen (UK Eurovision entry)

Top 30
Paolo Nutini
25 Yohanna (Iceland Eurovision entry)
Star Pilots
Green Day

Top 40
Keri Hilson
Eminem (Beautiful)
Alicia Keys (No One - Britain's Got Talent Effect Pt 1)

Top 50
Katy Perry
Asher Roth
50 Girls Aloud

Top 60
Alex Swings Oscar Sings (German Eurovision entry)
Kelly Clarkson

Top 70
Michael Jackson (They Don't Care About Us - Britain's Got Talent Effect Pt 2)
Waldo's People (Finnish Eurovision entry)
69 Urban Symphony (Estonian Eurovision entry)

Top 80
71 Lady GaGa (Paparazzi)
Beyonce (Diva)
Lenka

Albums

1 Eminem 63.9k
2 Green Day 23.7k
3 Manic Street Preachers 17.99k
4 Lily Allen 6.2k
5 Madness 5.5k

Top 15
11 Alesha
Jarvis Cocker
Tori Amos

Top 20
Steve Earle

The biggest Eurovision chart onslaught since 1974?

I didn't see the Icelandic entry, and the bit they showed seemed to be a random segment from somewhere in the middle. Was it really that good?

Rather a fine song, actually - conventional in format but she can certainly sing and there was a nice political subtext too.

WOW (and YAY) at that Eurovision chart invasion!

Non-scientific vox pop:

1. Yohanna's "Is It True?" (Iceland, #25) was my partner's favourite song from the first semi-final.

2. Alex Swings, Oscar Sings "Miss Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" (Germany, Top 60) was the unanimous favourite of the six neighbours whose dinner party I crashed to watch the voting.

3. The co-worker who sits opposite me now has Urban Symphony's "Rändajad" (Estonia, #69) as his mobile ring-tone.

Incidentally, the jury-only voting results have now been released. Same Top Two (Norway/Iceland), but Jade Ewen moves up to 3rd and France's Patricia Kaas moves up to 4th.