Rolling UK Pop/Chart/"Few people would dispute that Elbow have given us the album of the year" Thread 2009

The guy out of Honey Ryder is some merchnat banker who quit and has been ploughing his dosh into a 'new model'pop career right?

Interesting how U2 became to this year's Brits what Adam Ant was to Live Aid.

Promote the new single which promptly tanks.

Available on physical and download and it's their worst first-single-off-the-album performance since 1983.

It's hard to see where they fit in anymore - Coldplay have the anthems, Kings of Leon have the rock, the Killers have the pop and Radiohead have the adventure and U2 are stuck in a limbo in the middle of them all.

And yet the Prodigy come back at exactly the same time and score a huge hit.

"Omen" is a bit Prodigy-by-numbers but it's catchy, it works and it sounds as though it has something to do with 2009.

Whereas I've heard "Boots" maybe two dozen times now and still can't remember any of it.

I am of course obliged to the Brit Awards for relieving me of the onerous duty of having to write about Years Of Refusal. Even the Kings of Leon sometimes have their uses!

xpost: Yup, Honey Ryder are a duo consisting of a former banker for Credit Suisse and a former MTV employee... ooh, CONSPIRACY!

U2 have been around for what seems like forever, and will be, until they die. Bit like the rolling stones, but with more actual effort put in.

"Boots" reminded be, yeah "Pump it up" and "subterranean", the middle bit is quite good though. But heck, it reminded me of another u2 single I couldn't recall (at the time)! And that says a lot of the generic nature of "the U2 single" of which "Boots", and "Elevation" (for it was that one) fall into. Then they produce something as "not bad" as "Stuck in a moment" and it's OK, sort of.

They are, really, Abba. The singles come out, as spaced out as they are, and you don't mind, really. But hearing themall in one go makes you go "Noo! Make it STOP!"

Over on IMM, there's an idea to 'replace' the U2 album with all songs penned by the respective artists with the same titles as the forthcoming U2 album. Seeing this, and having just downloaded 'songstar', I dashed off a lyric in 3 mins flat, and had a go. Then thought better of it and deleted it. Now I've heard the U2 song, I'm not sure mine's not better anyway.

Whereas I've heard "Boots" maybe two dozen times now and still can't remember any of it.

I've heard it a handful of times and it's stuck in my head. Not that it's any endorsement of its quality, juries still out on it. Don't know whether it's just a mess, chockful of hooks or something in between.

it's nice not having heard the U2 yet.

'Omen' is just Prodigy jacking Pendulum which is a sad state of affairs (or would be if i cared about them any more).

Interesting midweeks:

1 Kelly Clarkson (up from 103)
2 Taylor Swift (up from 22 - she's getting the big media push in the UK now for sure)
3 Lily
4 Leon & his Kings
5 GaGa - Just Dance
6 GaGa - Poker Face
7 T.I. & Justin
8 Shontelle
9 PCDs & Missy
10 Alesha

In the albums, the Prodigy at a comfortable #1 (rather more comfortable than Morrissey this time last week, as it turned out) with Lamb of God at 6 and Joe Bonamassa at 12 (is this the Mojo/Bob Harris/Johnnie Walker vote?).

I quite like Omen but it doesn't really sound like Pendulum at all.

it totally does palette-wise. they have some tracks with that kind of beat on their albums too.

REIGN OF FEAR ENDS; REIGN OF SUCK BEGINS as Kelly Clarkson gets her first-ever UK number one with a song that I'm torn between either quite liking or thinking "Nice job on making her sound like Nicki French, there". In something that I can't imagine anyone thinking would ever happen, Taylor Swift - Taylor Actual Frikkin' Swift - is at number two with her slightly uncomfortably zoomed close-up shots (it may just be me that thinks this, but the angle they shoot her from seems really weird), and then in further Gigantic Climber news Poke Of Face is at 3 and TI Knows He Said Some Things But That's The Old Him is at 4. Then Lillah and various other old stagers clutter up the rest of the ten (that Pussycat Dolls single with Missy Elliott is actually a thing, apparently).

Somehow, in the midst of all this upheaval, "Sex On Fire" is still at number 16, one ahead of Take That 'ave A Jolly Old Sing-Song. STILL-ON-TOP-WATCH - "Get On Your Boots" is at number 20.

And in the rest of the chart... erm... "Paper Planes" climbs again, which is, y'know, nice. Madcon re-enter at 35 despite not actually being the version of "Beggin'" used in that Adidas advert but never mind eh, and MGMT occupy both numbers 38 and 39.

Albums: PRODIGY R TEH CHAMPOINS, with KofL dislodged for one week only (probably). The Slumdog Millionaire OST climbs to 13, PopArt is actually up one place to 18, Erasure's Total Pop compilation (looks pretty but can't defend for toffee) is at 21, with Lamb of God, Joe Bonamassa and Connie Fisher occupying slots 25 to 27.

Erasure's Total Pop compilation (looks pretty but can't defend for toffee)

Also known as "Pop! 20 Hits", plus "Solsbury Hill" and a load of tracks you'll skip...

i've spent half the day with 'love story' on loop. what a fucking amazing song. especially weird as it underwhelmed initially, but once it clicks it REALLY clicks.

my life would not suck without 'my life would suck without you'. why is the clarkson trying so hard to prove how FUN!!11 and POP!!!11 she is, her best songs were all the dark and bitter ones on the last album :(

Lex I'm glad you've become a "Love Story" convert! It is weird how, for such an instant/"classic" seeming pop song it takes a few listens to click.

FFS:

1 - straight in - the fucking Saturdays. This fucking country.
2 Kelly C
3 Flo Rida Sings Dead Or Alive
4 GaGa (Poker)
5 Taylor Swift
6 TI/Justin
7 Lily
8 GaGa (Dance)
9 Shontelle
10 Leon & his Kings

In the albums U2 at number one but so far only 65,000 sold. At 11 the Answer and at 13 the Red Light Company.

I'll get me coat.

In the albums U2 at number one but so far only 65,000 sold.

Coulda sold more if record shop assistants weren't so intimidating and rude.

Lex I'm glad you've become a "Love Story" convert! It is weird how, for such an instant/"classic" seeming pop song it takes a few listens to click.

i've become a huge taylor convert over the past week (well, not convert - i just hadn't bothered to listen before, but w/the press ramping up over here, her albums finally fell into my letterbox). the entire fearless album is incredible. she has such a gift for a great denouement. on deadline so no time to write more, but frank and i have been talking about her on poptimists.

hey two amazing albums called fearless in the space of less than a year. hurrah for jazmine sullivan/taylor swift mindmeld.

also, no sign of princess nyah's 'frontline' in the itunes top 100. another UK funky fail :(

another UK funky fail

Would have made a better U2 album title.

Suggest Chart Ban on Comic Relief records.

ONCE AGAIN CARLIN SETS MORAL TONE FOR UK RECORD-BUYING PUBLIC as, by the shortest of short heads, Flo Rida pips The Saturdays to nab his first UK number one, and deny them theirs. Unless Wikipedia's fibbing, that's the first Comic Relief single to miss out on the top spot since "Absolutely Fabulous" back in 1994 (and the first in a year when the telethon takes place since "Stick It Out" in 1993). Other interesting things about this top 10 - none.

Aside from the top two, our highest new entry goes to... Chipmunk! Tis pity it's not, like, particularly good or anything, but "Chip Diddy Chip" wipes its feet, doffs its cap and enters at 21. "Sex On Fire" dips to 22 this week, so that's the cue for "Revelry" to come storming in with reinforcements at 29; Uninteresting New Lemar Single is at 31, and Beyonce's "Halo" being at 40 means that both she and the Kings of the Leon have three singles each inside this week's top 40.

In albums: U2 STILL ON TOP for first week. Red Light Company's £5.99 At HMV gets them to number 13, one spot ahead of All The Tina Turner That's Fit To Print. The Answer get to be the new Dragonforce, sort of, at 26.

Lex, do not underestimate Kelly's latest so fast. Fav tracks are "All I Ever Wanted", "Already Gone" and "Longshot", huge on dramatic bombast and closer to My December than what one would think by looking at the album cover.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH CHARITY: Brydon & Jones' lustily crap take on "Islands in the Stream" puts Tom Jones on top for the first time since - who'd have thunk? - "Green Green Grass of Home", way back in 1966. Flossie slips to 2, meaning he's still exactly one position ahead of The Saturdays, whose failure to make number one last week may have very well set the seal on them being the new Rachel Stevens, if her career had consisted entirely of her cover of "More More More". Akon's new single gets to number 9, possibly by accident; even less conspicuously, it turns out that Oasis has a new single this week, too! It's at number 10, edging out "Just Dance", meaning that, for the first time in, er, a bit, there's only one Lady GaGa single in the top 10 ("Coming For To Carry My Poker Face", #4).

Elsewhere: September's had a second hit! Crumbs! "Can't Get Over" is YOUR number 14, people, with "Halo" climbing to number 20 in commemoration of this fact (First Day Covers will be available at Post Offices nationwide from tomorrow morning). After 74 weeks (approx.) outside the top 40, Katy Perry's After Singing A Ballad Now, Is She? finally makes its own wee breakthrough and is at 27. US teen synth-rock boys (i.e. they ugly) Metro Station have their one and only UK hit at 37 (will probably climb), and Your Actual Worst Single Of 2009 So Far, Annie Lennox's cover of "Shining Light", somehow drags its sorry ass to number 39 (will hopefully not climb).

Albums: U2 STILL ON TOP - TWO WEEKS OF DOMINANCE, THIRTY YEARS OF OMNIPOTENCE. Annie Lennox's The Collection gets to number two, one ahead of Kelly C. T-Swift is at number 5, one ahead of Faryl's One Hayley Westenra Is Never Enough. Big week for Very Best Ofs - Michael Ball is at 11, The Dubliners at 16, Everly Brothers at 23 - and that's obviously why Starsailor could only make number 26 with their new one. Lee Mead's second album - was he always on Fascination, btw? - creeps in at number 39.

Annie Lennox's cover of "Shining Light", somehow drags its sorry ass to number 39 (will hopefully not climb)

pretty scary cover too
http://www.chartstats.com/images/singles/34257.jpg

More on that Lee Mead album:

Highlights include the lead track from the album, "Nothing Else Matters", a duet with Hayley Westenra on "When The Stars Go Blue" and the Spandau Ballet classic, "Through The Barricades".

I am pretty tolerant of Westenra thanks to unpopular Nintendo Wii fish-molesting simulator Endless Ocean.

IN SHOPS TOMORROW:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51nsf5W9QkL._SS500_.jpg

HE HAS COVERED "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY"

Looking forward to Mrs Keating's answer record F U Right Back.

His mum's dead. Show some compassion.

F U Right Back From Beyond the Grave

job done.

The Comic Relief TOTP special, basically the show that would have been on (for the most part), had the show not been canned, specifically to showcase the two CR singles.

But oh! The Saturdays did not fulfil their part of the script! Instead, a bemused Flo Rider and crew get to perform the mandatory number one end-of-show song, and seemed to be the party record everyone enjoyed! How about that! TOTP lives and bites back!

And ends up being a much better 'final show' than the pony 'highlights' thing that was the real 'final' one.

Oh, and let us not forget Barry Gibb doing nothing perceptible on the record, but getting a co-performer credit on a number one hit to his name.

(Lay off the hair dye, wack!)

Robin Gibb, dammit!

didn't notice but last week's top 10 featured only 2 songs by male artists. maybe not a first but feels v unusual.

COMIC RELIEF "NOT FOR LIFE, JUST FOR CHRISTMAS" as "Barry Islands In The Stream" is unceremoniously dumped from number one by...

...

...

...

"Poke of Face", which hits the top spot having initially entered at number 30 fully nine weeks ago. I can't think of the last time it's taken a song that long to reach number one - the only one I can think of that comes remotely close would be "You're Beautiful", which went top in its seventh week on the chart.

Popular Comedy Foursome wind up directly swapping places with Popular Comedy Onesie, in fact, as they drop to three with Flossie hanging onto number two. Beyonce's tribute to converting old churches into shit nightclubs climbs to number nine; other than that, not much interesting going on in the top 10...

But outside it, well. A combination of the music of Printed Circuit, an androgynous redhead girl in a trenchcoat and probably the worst fake driving ever witnessed in music video history propels La Roux's "In The Kill" to number 11, three places ahead of Big Box Hollywood Star at 14. "Up All Night"'s steady irrelevance continues at 19, one place ahead of the stunningly rubbish Pussycat Dolls ft. Nicole Scherzinger (something tells me that name might not stick) "re-imagining" of AR Rahman's "Jai Ho!" As I so fearlessly predicted last week, Metro Station do indeed climb, all the way to 22; Franz Ferdinand have to do iPod ads now, and it gets them to 27; and Unnecessary Enrique/Ciara collaboration makes its way to number 30. One spot behind "Sex On Fire", which now looks certain to outlast its funny-smelling cousin, "Revelry", which is currently languishing at 37.

In the albums, the Mother's Day Champion Chase is won at a canter by - oh yes - Ronan Fucking Keating, crossing the line several lengths ahead of Annie Lennox, Kings of Leon and, er, Faryl, with long-time leader STILL ON TOP languishing back in sixth. Major sales bumps go to Bette Midler, who climbs 12 to number 9; The Saturdays, who are up 13 at 20; and Definitely 100% Super-Top Lionel Richie & The Commodores, up 22 to number 14 in order to celebrate the release of Lionel Richie's actual new album, Fuck Off, which lands at number ten. Peter Doherty - the Andrew Cole of indie - enters at 17 with I Think You'll Find William Blake Would Agree With Me, with Barry Manilow's Unprovoked Assault On The 1980s at 22 and New UCJ Thingy Melody Gardot at number 40.

the skream remix of that la roux track is really good - original is total pony though, and wtf is with her name? "la roux" MAKES NO SENSE ugh. i mean...why not la rousse?

rolling funky fail update: KIG's 'head, shoulders, knees & toes' enters at no 41. perempay & dee's massive 'in the air' finally gets a digital release, fails to bother top 75. i hate the stupid charts and stupid britishers blah blah blah

also, ne-yo's 'closer' took ages to get to no 1 too. polyhex says its chart run was:

22-24-12-7-5-3-2-{1}-2-4-6-4-6-8-11-12-16-22-27-26-28-33-37-42-46-55-63-65-68-66R(5)-62->31

Still just the eight weeks, mind; then again, I'd actually forgotten that ever got to number one at all...

La Roux (the singer at least)'s mum:
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42657000/jpg/_42657375_acklandlive_cut.jpg

NME bringing you the big stories first, comments section not entirely interested

Unnecessary Enrique/Ciara collaboration

"too much time on ilx"

Incidentally, this week sees "Use Somebody" racking up exactly half a year in the top 40. It's currently at number ten.

TWO WEEKS OF "POKER FACE" NOT REALLY INTERESTING ENOUGH TO PUT IN CAPS but never mind. GaGa gets a second week on top, anyhow, edging out The Noisettes, who get to be this year's reason for New Young Pony Club to act all huffy and such by dint of attempting to sell some car or other. They also get to be the only British act in this week's top ten; for god only knows what reason, JAY HURRRR is YOUR number five, and Metro Station make somewhat inevitable climb to number nine. Akon's "Gor Blimey, You're A Fetching Young Filly, Ain'tcher?" continues to have the number eight spot on lawk.

La Roux, tragiquely, reste at le numero eleven. Not even that freakishly uninteresting article in The Times' weekend magazine, where she and her music were basically equated to processed ham, could make the British public want "In For The Kill" more than "My Life Would Suck Without You". She does get to stay a nose in front of Unnecessary Remix Of "Show Me Love", though, as that debuts at 12, and at least she's not The Saturdays - "Just Can't Get Enough" is powerbombed from 4 to 14 this week. Back-to-back Lillah singles a bit lower down, as "Not Fair" enters at 16, one spot ahead of "The Fear", and then ROLLING UK FUNKY SUCCESS as KIG's "Head, Shoulderz, Kneez & Toez" debutz at 18. Unnecessary Enrique/Ciara Single is now at number 20.

Some kind of MP3 thing less popular than some kind of car is only possible explanation for Franz only climbing to 22; White Lies "still tedious", confirms #34; Jennnnnnnnifer Hudson gets her second hit at 37; and Asher Roth's "We May As Well Just Go Home Now" debuts at 40 to preface the worst summer in living memory.

On a similar note - Ronang is still top of the albums! Go belated Mother's Day! People still feeling the need to buy Kings of Leon and Lady GaGa albums sees Pet Shop Boys get nudged from the midweek summit down to number four; Lillah and Prodge make decent-ish climbs to 6 and 7, and at number eight, Akon's Freedom makes its first-ever top 10 incursion.

Lower down, residual climbs for Elbow and Fleet Foxes confirm them as top 40 fixtures from here to eternity; Royksopp's new one debuts at 21; James Morrison's first album resurfaces at 22; some sort of reissue of Pearl Jam's Ten is at 29; and Mastodon make it to number 34. Other than that, yeah, HMV sale or something, resulting in lots of climbs for things that have been around for aaaages, and a top 40 debut for Ladyhawke's album at 32.

I finally heard the Asher Roth/Lady Gaga by accident the other day (flatmate had radio 1 on while we played Pro Evo) and... I have to say, I love that we live in a world where I can hopefully just only hear these things once or twice in passing at most, a couple years ago I couldn't imagine a world where I wouldn't be hearing something like this all the time. 'Pokerface' is horrible, downright horrible. (Although if 1Xtra picks up the Roth in a big way I may quit general daytime radio forever.)

THR-THR-THR-THR-THREE WEEKS - NO, REALLY, "Poker Face" has been the UK's favourite song for three weeks now. It tops a hellishly uninteresting top ten, enlivened only by La Roux unconvincingly miming pulling out of a slipstream to make it up to number 7. Oh, and JAY HURRRR may possibly have a run at the top spot, having climbed to 3, just behind The Noisettes.

Under-under-under: Just Jack returns to the top 40. What a wondrous sentence that is, eh? "Embers" is at 17, and then, guess what? Jack Penate returns to the top 40! Yes, we all with the great stuff kids go for this week, and "Tonight's Today" is your number 23. Five places behind that - Doves! I am going to guess that Fearne Cotton is loving that (where that = "Kingdom of Rust", obv). Then Pink's second half-decent single in a row makes it to 31, four spots ahead of Flo Rida's second consecutive ignoring of a THIS IS NOT YOUR SKIP sign; and then, Lady Sovereign returns to the top 40! "So Human" gets all the way to number 38.

Under-under-under-under - "Untouchable" is knocking on the door at 41, while "Amy's Not At Her Desk Right Now, Can I Take A Message?" makes its first serious strides at 45, one ahead of Urgh James Morrison. Bat Of Lashes rises to 56 from 79 last week, but I can't see it going much beyond that; and Shontelle's done a song with Akon and it's at 72 oh joy.

SEXWATCH '09: "Sex On Fire" officially outlasts "Revelry" by climbing back to 27 while its sibling drops to 50.

ALBUMS: Oh look, Lady Gaga's number one there too, and the BBC seems very excited about that and I'm not quite sure why. Ronang drops to four, Annie climbs to three, and I would reckon you've probably already guessed Kings of Leon are number two. Flo Rida's A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. is highest new entry at five; second-highest would be Laughing Len at 19, then Peej and John Parish at 25, Metro Station at 35, and Gomez at 63. X amount of fun, X amount of laughter.

Gomez to become first band to win Mercury twice, calling it

Laughing Len at 19

really?

BRITISH POP "STILL ON TOP" - yup, Calvin Harris gets his first non-Dizzee-assisted number one, "I'm Not Alone" dislodging Poke Of Face after three bastard weeks, AND NOT ONLY THAT but La Roux storms up to number four in some kind of rubbish-eyewear double-whammy. And The Noisettes are still number five! Everything's alright forever! Lovely Sexy Magic zooms in at 6.

The Hillsborough memorial single is at 16, with Depeche Mode quite predictably entering at 24. Bat For Lashes gets a first-ever top 40 hit at 36 (from little acorns do MGMT grow), and, in further "what you've all been waiting for" news, James Morrison's follow-up to "Broken Strings" enters at 39, 21 spots behind its predecessor.

Lady Gaga is still Bestest at album-selling, tho, with Doves having to settle for second place. Bat For Lashes - literally EVERYWHERE this week - charts at 5, with YYYs at 3+3+3 (i.e. nine). For some reason Tapestry is at 12 - some kind of reissue thing? - and, for less reasons, Eoghan Quigg is at 14. Nu-Neil-Young at 22, Totally Best Of Ultravox Ever at 35.