Worst Music Writing 2007

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Oh yeah, missed that.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

........."the sound coming out of the shed was perfect,a sirens song of cicada like rhythms and circular breathing chants.A palpable sense of brotherhood was evident when the participants finally emerged.Swathed in unknowable scents and fingerpainted mandalas on their chestnut faces,they let go a war whoop of confident alliance before they laid down vocals for their next track"

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:52 (seventeen years ago) link

never say siren song

― friday on the porch (lfam), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:53 (seventeen years ago) link

"Punk is back!! and Goodys Stores has got 'em.Posable rubber action figures engage in musical poses and can be bent any way you want!!As a dedicated dealer you will also get 3D Punk Is Back posters.Realistic leather jackets and ripped jeans are just part of the amazing detail given to each figure.Order all 5!..1-Polly(with ripped dress),2-Frankie(with ripped jeans),3-Casey(with boom box),4-XXXEna(with rubber whip),5-Pete(with guitar)"..

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

surely that Ben Jensen Pazz & Jop "piece" belongs here...?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe Pitchfork subs Americanize copy from UK writers... someone will know

Umm yeah, I wouldn't take "soccer" as an indication either way. It doesn't even require an editor -- I'd assume plenty of British writers submitting pieces for American publications would switch to "soccer" as a matter of course.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Heh, when I studied in the UK I got excited about being able to use British spellings and probably overdid it on my term papers, one of which used the word "programme" over and over.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:08 (seventeen years ago) link

"soccer" for "football", yeah. Not "jersey" for "shirt", though.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, sorry: I was not aware y'all did not use "jersey" like that. Possibly better evidence, then, yes!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Wait, Nabisco NOT OTM?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:31 (seventeen years ago) link

we should start a compilation thread of such limited occurrences.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Umm, wait, a google search turns up severak million hits for "England football jersey," so ... umm, I think some of you may indeed be using it that way.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:33 (seventeen years ago) link

YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE JERSEY
YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE JERSEY

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Common parlance = football top. Though I suppose common parlance isn't really what bros aiming for.

― jimn (jimnaseum), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Football jersey = as worn by goalkeepers. Football shit, as worn by outfield players.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Football shit

-insert Charlton joke here-

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Dom has a sensible answer for everything!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:39 (seventeen years ago) link

amirite?

-- dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (juror...), November 20th, 2006.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:41 (seventeen years ago) link

GET THAT FOOTBALL SHIT OFF PARIS'S THREAD SHOW SOME RESPECT

-- The Lex (alex.macpherso...), November 23rd, 2006.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 00:03 (seventeen years ago) link

someone from coke machine glow will win this by year-end

― pinder (pinder), Friday, 2 February 2007 01:17 (seventeen years ago) link

someone from coke machine glow will win this by ~~year-end~~mid-February

Fixed.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 2 February 2007 01:21 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm glad i still bought that new isis record despite the negative commentary from that 'critic'. his review was so persuasive it might have made me think twice.

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Friday, 2 February 2007 02:14 (seventeen years ago) link

persuasive? it smacked of desperation, doubtless its point, but the idea was so forced, lame, and badly-executed, that it came off as meta-reviewing of the lowest imaginable order.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 02:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Hunter S. Thompson has much to answer for.

― Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Friday, 2 February 2007 06:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I asked Hunter Thompson "how badly-executed does it get?"
Hunter Thompson hasn't answered yet

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Friday, 2 February 2007 07:14 (seventeen years ago) link

of course i agree with you, louis :)

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Friday, 2 February 2007 07:29 (seventeen years ago) link

"What Allen meant, maybe, was that Albarn is a character actor. He writes in the distinctly British tradition of the character song"
??????

he's joking ...right ?

― toe-foo (toe-foo), Friday, 2 February 2007 12:14 (seventeen years ago) link

I will be trying my best to win this award in 2007. The problem is that my writing is merely forgettable as opposed to actively awful, but I'll see if I can overcome that. Perhaps a few more "I don't get current music" or "they're pretty good for women" or "watch as i conflate inconsequential band-of-the-moment into the saviors of their so-called generation" stories will do the trick.

― mike a (mike a), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:30 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm only gonna write awesome reviews in 2007. this one is awesome:

http://decibelmagazine.com/reviews/feb2007/eyesofligeia.aspx

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Wrong thread, showoff.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

haha i just noticed the mickey slam in the jason gross link

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

well where is the good stuff thread?? too much bad around.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

You should start one and call it "I SCOTT SEWARD GET TO WRITE AWESOME FUNNY THINGS AND YOU DEWEY/TRUMAN MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T SO FUCK YOU HERE IS MY THREAD"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:08 (seventeen years ago) link

well that would just be rude.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

and you can't talk to me that way. i'm a union man.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

and ANYBODY can write awesome funny stuff! people just have to try and not suck so hard. it's easy!

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:14 (seventeen years ago) link

yeah most of us have to deal with EDITORS who are always HARSHING OUR BUZZ MAAAAAAN, try writing for that fucker jessica harvell sometime

i'm actually really disgusted with my longtime free gig because they're all fancy now and i do not fit in

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:18 (seventeen years ago) link

I've got my favourite music writing of 07 here as well, if someone wants to star a whole new thread I'll happily c+p this again:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/3amcontent/tm_headline=bruv---hate&method=full&objectid=18424452&siteid=94762-name_page.html

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

i only edit people who suck

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:20 (seventeen years ago) link

just kidding freelance pool, i luv u boo

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:20 (seventeen years ago) link

we luv U 2 big papi

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

editors? what's that?

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:24 (seventeen years ago) link

i know rite?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:30 (seventeen years ago) link

is jess a stern taskmaster? he IS a tight-ass. god, it must be hell. i feel for you people.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:32 (seventeen years ago) link

we feel ourselves too.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:33 (seventeen years ago) link

well, Jess keeps all freelancers under a strict gag order, so you'll have to look for the subliminal cries for help that we slip into reviews (also, Matt, you're doing stuff for BCP? I don't remember seeing any of it, or was it under a pseudonym?)

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:57 (seventeen years ago) link

http://img.timeinc.net/ew/img/daily/618/wordbop_l.jpg
"i'll never tell"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:59 (seventeen years ago) link

Haikunym's pseudonym is "Vuckovich Oglivie"

― Andy_K (Andy_K), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:03 (seventeen years ago) link

I should've known something was up the week the whole music section was written in haiku form.

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:05 (seventeen years ago) link

sadly, i've done reviews like that

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 78 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

We got one of these threads for the 08? Ben Walsh (such a 90s lads mag journo name) decides that an Eagles review is the best place for him to desperately reassert his a) masculinity and b) love of obscure underground counter-culture acts like Neil Young.
-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:47 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Worst Music Reading 2008.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

^^ lives up to name

― banriquit, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

wtf, that terrible article about joshua bell busking won a PULITZER?!

― Jordan, Monday, 14 April 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link

link doesn't work, but that is a little surprising. That article struck me as an unremarkable example of freakonomics journalism.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 14 April 2008 22:33 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

― Jordan, Monday, 14 April 2008 22:39 (sixteen years ago) link

They eat that Dickensian aspect shit up @ PPHQ!

― David R., Monday, 14 April 2008 23:16 (sixteen years ago) link

four months pass...

http://therawness.com/fun-with-hipsters-the-digital-internet-jukebox/

Not starting a new thread just for this but jesus fucking christ.

― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 11 September 2008 09:22 (fifteen years ago) link

I think the original term for this was "wyatting."

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 11 September 2008 10:51 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

that hipster article :|

― ('_') (omar little), Saturday, 4 September 2010 00:26 (thirteen years ago) link

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