Someone already took a similar potshot but re: Ezrin... dude who red-lined LOU REED albums is gonna tell me how many good songs I really have?
^also a dude who manned some near perfect Alice Cooper albums.
― One Way Ticket on the 1277 Express (Bill Magill), Wednesday, 24 October 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link
all lou reed albums are masterpieces you just don't know how to listen right
― terrell sug (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 24 October 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link
the kimmel appearance is tonight, yes?
― With extreme tenderness - flexible - always guided by the words (get bent), Thursday, 25 October 2012 00:34 (eleven years ago) link
i honestly thought axl was neil doing an axl imitation when i first clicked on the clip
― da croupier, Thursday, 25 October 2012 00:42 (eleven years ago) link
only eventually did the moves suggest someone slightly younger than 60
I just made this on Fake Convos, and it's probably not as funny as it should be, but it took a while and I'm gonna share it anyway:
http://i.imgur.com/S3FcL.jpg
― Bout to go Jethro TULL on that ass (Johnny Fever), Thursday, 25 October 2012 00:52 (eleven years ago) link
there's no way Axl actually shows up for Kimmel tonight, right?
― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 25 October 2012 01:24 (eleven years ago) link
i say yes, he'll do it to promote the vegas dates cuz he needs the money.
― With extreme tenderness - flexible - always guided by the words (get bent), Thursday, 25 October 2012 01:29 (eleven years ago) link
Bumblefoot is jamming with the house band
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 25 October 2012 01:30 (eleven years ago) link
sucks that jimmy kimmel's show isn't actually live
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 25 October 2012 01:31 (eleven years ago) link
http://cdn.beta.abc.com/service/image/index/id/d43a57c2-1789-4d82-a283-7454d9f227e6/dim/114x114.jpg
― With extreme tenderness - flexible - always guided by the words (get bent), Thursday, 25 October 2012 02:40 (eleven years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A6BRu6zCMAAV9Nk.jpg:large
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 25 October 2012 03:04 (eleven years ago) link
cool, axl's into cosplay!
― Philip Nunez, Thursday, 25 October 2012 03:15 (eleven years ago) link
so surreal to see him do a tv interview
― burrito smalls (some dude), Thursday, 25 October 2012 04:51 (eleven years ago) link
what was it like? should I watch it online? DETAILS
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 October 2012 04:52 (eleven years ago) link
it was fine. rather bizarrely positive audience response to axl listing his current bandmates.
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 25 October 2012 04:56 (eleven years ago) link
haha yeah big outpouring of support for DJ Ashba
― burrito smalls (some dude), Thursday, 25 October 2012 04:58 (eleven years ago) link
http://dlvr.it/2N7TmS
― With extreme tenderness - flexible - always guided by the words (get bent), Thursday, 25 October 2012 05:38 (eleven years ago) link
lol @ http://cdn.beta.abc.com/service/image/index/id/d43a57c2-1789-4d82-a283-7454d9f227e6/dim/114x114.jpg
― *triumphant sauce horns* (crüt), Thursday, 25 October 2012 07:51 (eleven years ago) link
For those off-put by Axl's disingenuous welcome, here are two far more appealing jungle invitations:
"Jungle life, you're far away from nothingIt's all right, you won't miss homeTake a chance, leave everything behind youCome and join me, won't be sorry, it's easy to survive"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r0n9Dv6XnY
"I was standing in the jungle, I was feeling alright... Then a lion sang to me and smiled: 'Come join us if you so desire.'... Pretty soon I knew the tune and We sat and sang under the moon And the jungle rang in joyful harmony."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swpv4k8YQRw
― JessFlip, Thursday, 25 October 2012 14:05 (eleven years ago) link
In that pic w/Paul Simon with the hat and stache and shit he kind of reminds me of... Beefheart?!?!
― Miss Anus Regrets (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 25 October 2012 17:10 (eleven years ago) link
that's not Paul Simon is it?
― Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 25 October 2012 17:23 (eleven years ago) link
Axl is very tiny if he and Paul are the same height
Axl is short, apparently.
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 25 October 2012 17:34 (eleven years ago) link
Although a police report reprinted in this article says he's 5'9", which isn't that short. Also, I'm going to copy a hilarious block of text from that article, which had me shaking with laughter.
I'd been shuffling around a surprisingly pretty, sunny, newly renovated downtown Lafayette for a couple of days, scraping at whatever I could find. I saw the house where he grew up. I looked at his old yearbook pictures in the public library. Everyone had his or her Axl story. He stole a TV from that house there. Here's where he tried to ride his skateboard on the back of a car and fell and got road rash all up his arm. He came out of this motel with a half-naked woman and some older guys were looking at her and one of 'em threw down a cigarette, not meaning anything by it, but Axl freaked out and flipped 'em off and they beat the crap out of him. Hard to document any of this stuff. Still, enough Wanted On Warrant reports exist for Axl's Indiana years to lend credence to the claim that the city cops and county troopers pretty much felt justified, and technically speaking were justified, in picking him up and hassling him whenever they spotted him out. One doubts he left the house much that they didn't spot him, what with the long, fine, flowing red hair. Must have been sweet to be Axl.
I went to the city cops. They've mellowed along with the town. In fact, they were friendly. They found and processed the negatives of some heretofore unknown mug shots for me, from '80 and '82, the latter of which (the one where he's shirtless) is an anonymous American masterpiece. Then the ladies in the records department rummaged some and came back with this report, which I've never seen mentioned in any of the bios or online or anything. It's written by an officer signing himself "1—4." I took it back to the Holiday Inn and spent the rest of the afternoon reading. Let's call it The Sheidler Incident. It begins:
FULL NAME: BAILEY, WILLIAM BRUCE…
ALIASES: BILL BAILEY…
CURRENT PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT: SELF EMPLOYED—BAND
CHARGE: W[ANTED]O[N]W[ARRANT]BATTERY…
AGE: 18; HEIGHT: 5'9"; WEIGHT: 149
HAIR: RED; EYES: GRN; BUILD: SLENDER; COMPLEXION: FAIR…
Here's how it all went down that day—allegedly. I'm about to cherry-pick the pivotal bits. A little kid named Scott Sheidler was riding his bike in front of an older kid named Dana Gregory's house. He made skid marks on the sidewalk. Dana Gregory ran out, picked Scott up under the armpits, kicked over his bike, and ordered the boy To get on his hands and knees and scrub the skid marks off the sidewalk. The kid went squealing to his old man, Tom Sheidler. Tom Sheidler went to Gregory and asked if it was true, what Scotty had said. Dana Gregory said, "Yes and I'm going to beat the fuck out of you." The mom, Marleen, ran up to the scene and began to shout. Around the same time, Bill Bailey appeared, red, green, slender, and fair. And here I need to let the report take over, if only temporarily, as I can't begin to simulate its succinctness or authority:
M. Sheidler stated that Bailey was also arguing with Sheidler and that he was using the "F" word in front of her kids. M. Sheidler stated that she went up to Bailey and pointed her finger at Bailey and told him not to use the "F" word in front of her kids. M. Sheidler stated that Bailey, who has a splint on his arm, then struck her on the arm and neck with the splint. I looked at M. Sheidler and could see some red marks on her arm and neck which could have been made by being struck.
This matter of which hand it was subsumes the narrative for a stretch. Marleen Sheidler says "with the splint," and little Scott says "with a splint," but Dana Gregory's younger brother Chris 15 says "with the opposite hand that his splint is on" (adding that Bailey struck Sheidler in response to "Sheidler Strikeing [sic]" him). Bill Bailey himself then goes on to say that he "struck M. SHEIDLER in the FACE with his LEFT HAND the hand with out the SPLINT." Once again, this only after "MARLEEN SHEIDLER struck him in the face" (though seconds earlier, by his own admission, he'd told her "to keep her fucking brats at home"). The story ends with a strangely affecting suddenness: "BAILEY stated SHEIDLER then jumped at him and fell on his face, he then left and went home…"
The thing I couldn't stop wondering as I read it over was: Why were they so freaked out about the skid marks? Is making skid marks on the sidewalk a bad thing to do? It makes me think I spent half my childhood inadvertently infuriating my entire neighborhood.
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 25 October 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link
I could totally see someone getting really uptight about that for no good reason.
― how's life, Thursday, 25 October 2012 17:53 (eleven years ago) link
surprised at how personable and cheery he was on kimmel
― seasonal hugs (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 25 October 2012 17:55 (eleven years ago) link
i was really hoping he would do the interview in screechy-Axl voice.
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 25 October 2012 18:04 (eleven years ago) link
rod stewart denies the semen-pumping story.
The book also clears up the urban myth about Stewart once ingesting so much semen that he had to have his stomach pumped. Stewart writes that his former publicist Tony Toon made up the tale after he was fired. Stewart says that Toon "fed the press a story in which, as a consequence of an evening spent orally servicing a gang of sailors in a gay bar in San Diego, I had been required to check into a hospital emergency room to have my stomach pumped." He continues: "I have never orally pleasured even a solitary sailor... And I have never had my stomach pumped, either of naval-issue semen nor of any other kind of semen."
Stewart says that Toon "fed the press a story in which, as a consequence of an evening spent orally servicing a gang of sailors in a gay bar in San Diego, I had been required to check into a hospital emergency room to have my stomach pumped."
He continues: "I have never orally pleasured even a solitary sailor... And I have never had my stomach pumped, either of naval-issue semen nor of any other kind of semen."
― With extreme tenderness - flexible - always guided by the words (get bent), Thursday, 25 October 2012 20:15 (eleven years ago) link
Rod wasted a perfect opportunity to use a seaman pun. I guess I shouldn't be surprised given that he threw away all his other opportunities at doing something cool
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 25 October 2012 20:23 (eleven years ago) link
due to "you're in my heart" i always thought the rumor concerned his affection for manchester united
― da croupier, Thursday, 25 October 2012 20:55 (eleven years ago) link
lol @ "I have never orally pleasured even a solitary sailor"
― *triumphant sauce horns* (crüt), Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:07 (eleven years ago) link
haha that's awesome
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:30 (eleven years ago) link
weirdly qualified that denial with 'orally'
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:38 (eleven years ago) link
Wake up maggie I think I got something to say to you - I have never orally pleasured even a solitary sailor!
― tylerw, Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:45 (eleven years ago) link
omg tyler
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:51 (eleven years ago) link
really gives "sailing" a new lease of life
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Thursday, 25 October 2012 21:55 (eleven years ago) link
I must have heard this song 500 million times, but somehow I just heard for the first time Axl Rose saying "OH MY GOD" at the beginning. How did I miss that?
― Poliopolice, Friday, 26 October 2012 19:18 (eleven years ago) link
"either of naval-issue semen nor of any other kind of semen."
Well, uh, thanks for clearing that up, Rod!
― The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Friday, 26 October 2012 19:21 (eleven years ago) link
What's not clear to me is why you'd need to have your stomach pumped after drinking a gallon of semen anyway. As far as I understand it, it is a perfectly healthy beverage though apparently its consistency is that of warm snot.
― Poliopolice, Friday, 26 October 2012 20:19 (eleven years ago) link
maybe you have your stomach pumped for other reasons and thus FIND 1 liter/gallon/hectare of semen in yr belly as a result
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 20:21 (eleven years ago) link
what's important is that i am so jealous of rod's way with the ladies that he is gay
― tylerw, Friday, 26 October 2012 20:24 (eleven years ago) link
I don't really buy the "semen is healthy! drink up, ladies, amirite?" thing
― *triumphant sauce horns* (crüt), Friday, 26 October 2012 20:25 (eleven years ago) link
well I try to have 8 glasses a day but I struggle with that
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 26 October 2012 20:31 (eleven years ago) link
It's full of protein, isn't it? That's why I heard Boy George named his record label 'More Protein', anyway!
― The Jupiter 8 (Turrican), Friday, 26 October 2012 20:31 (eleven years ago) link
The worst variant of the Guinness Diet ever.
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 26 October 2012 20:33 (eleven years ago) link
http://alecguinness.com/starwars2.jpg
― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, 26 October 2012 20:38 (eleven years ago) link
well played!
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 26 October 2012 20:39 (eleven years ago) link
Damn, should have responded with
Brilliant!
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 26 October 2012 20:40 (eleven years ago) link
if you suck me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine
― Gandalf’s Gobble Melt (DJP), Friday, 26 October 2012 20:42 (eleven years ago) link