Worst Music Writing 2007

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try living in philadelphia when even the mayor was bombing it from above.

anyway, my peoples are from bristol so lay off! you know, like 400 years ago, but still...

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Yr peoples left bcz of the dreariness!

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Bristol, former capital of the British slave industry.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:00 (seventeen years ago) link

So it holds a special place in your heart then.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:02 (seventeen years ago) link

Bristol can be pretty dreary, but that applies to pretty much everywhere, surely. Bristol certainly doesn't have a monopoly on dreariness in terms of British cities!

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:10 (seventeen years ago) link

is the writer british?

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:15 (seventeen years ago) link

Considering he uses the term "soccer jersey", I'm guessing not.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:16 (seventeen years ago) link

Let me nominate the Shins review they had on NPR the other day. If anyone can find it online, post it, because it's fucking embarrassing and awful.

― Period period period (Period period period), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:18 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe Pitchfork subs Americanize copy from UK writers... someone will know

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:26 (seventeen years ago) link

let's see if 2007 can beat Cokemachineglow's Isis review:

http://www.cokemachineglow.com/reviews/isis_intheabsenceoftruth2006.html

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:32 (seventeen years ago) link

This may be of interest:
http://rockcritics.com/features/jasongross2006_ignobles.html

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:34 (seventeen years ago) link

xpost: unless it was deliberately awful, of course. the following extract might be a bit of a give-away: "struggling to write well with such uninspiring source material."

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

philly is the biggest wannabe city around. so...effing....awful.

― the table is the table (treesessplode), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:35 (seventeen years ago) link

OH MICKEY :-(

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link

This may be of interest

HUGE roffle at the second entry there.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:38 (seventeen years ago) link

philly is the biggest wannabe city around. so...effing....awful.

That's a pretty dumb thing to say, but I'm also not sure what it's doing on this thread.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:39 (seventeen years ago) link

it was cuzza my post earlier.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:40 (seventeen years ago) link

oh no, it's happening again!

― Ska Punk/Ned Raggett/aNtiCHriSt (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh yeah, missed that.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:41 (seventeen years ago) link

........."the sound coming out of the shed was perfect,a sirens song of cicada like rhythms and circular breathing chants.A palpable sense of brotherhood was evident when the participants finally emerged.Swathed in unknowable scents and fingerpainted mandalas on their chestnut faces,they let go a war whoop of confident alliance before they laid down vocals for their next track"

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:52 (seventeen years ago) link

never say siren song

― friday on the porch (lfam), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:53 (seventeen years ago) link

"Punk is back!! and Goodys Stores has got 'em.Posable rubber action figures engage in musical poses and can be bent any way you want!!As a dedicated dealer you will also get 3D Punk Is Back posters.Realistic leather jackets and ripped jeans are just part of the amazing detail given to each figure.Order all 5!..1-Polly(with ripped dress),2-Frankie(with ripped jeans),3-Casey(with boom box),4-XXXEna(with rubber whip),5-Pete(with guitar)"..

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:57 (seventeen years ago) link

surely that Ben Jensen Pazz & Jop "piece" belongs here...?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:01 (seventeen years ago) link

Maybe Pitchfork subs Americanize copy from UK writers... someone will know

Umm yeah, I wouldn't take "soccer" as an indication either way. It doesn't even require an editor -- I'd assume plenty of British writers submitting pieces for American publications would switch to "soccer" as a matter of course.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:05 (seventeen years ago) link

Heh, when I studied in the UK I got excited about being able to use British spellings and probably overdid it on my term papers, one of which used the word "programme" over and over.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:08 (seventeen years ago) link

"soccer" for "football", yeah. Not "jersey" for "shirt", though.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:09 (seventeen years ago) link

Oh, sorry: I was not aware y'all did not use "jersey" like that. Possibly better evidence, then, yes!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:30 (seventeen years ago) link

Wait, Nabisco NOT OTM?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:31 (seventeen years ago) link

we should start a compilation thread of such limited occurrences.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Umm, wait, a google search turns up severak million hits for "England football jersey," so ... umm, I think some of you may indeed be using it that way.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:33 (seventeen years ago) link

YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE JERSEY
YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE JERSEY

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Common parlance = football top. Though I suppose common parlance isn't really what bros aiming for.

― jimn (jimnaseum), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:34 (seventeen years ago) link

Football jersey = as worn by goalkeepers. Football shit, as worn by outfield players.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:36 (seventeen years ago) link

Football shit

-insert Charlton joke here-

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:37 (seventeen years ago) link

Dom has a sensible answer for everything!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:39 (seventeen years ago) link

amirite?

-- dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (juror...), November 20th, 2006.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:41 (seventeen years ago) link

GET THAT FOOTBALL SHIT OFF PARIS'S THREAD SHOW SOME RESPECT

-- The Lex (alex.macpherso...), November 23rd, 2006.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 00:03 (seventeen years ago) link

someone from coke machine glow will win this by year-end

― pinder (pinder), Friday, 2 February 2007 01:17 (seventeen years ago) link

someone from coke machine glow will win this by ~~year-end~~mid-February

Fixed.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 2 February 2007 01:21 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm glad i still bought that new isis record despite the negative commentary from that 'critic'. his review was so persuasive it might have made me think twice.

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Friday, 2 February 2007 02:14 (seventeen years ago) link

persuasive? it smacked of desperation, doubtless its point, but the idea was so forced, lame, and badly-executed, that it came off as meta-reviewing of the lowest imaginable order.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 02:21 (seventeen years ago) link

Hunter S. Thompson has much to answer for.

― Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Friday, 2 February 2007 06:55 (seventeen years ago) link

I asked Hunter Thompson "how badly-executed does it get?"
Hunter Thompson hasn't answered yet

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Friday, 2 February 2007 07:14 (seventeen years ago) link

of course i agree with you, louis :)

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Friday, 2 February 2007 07:29 (seventeen years ago) link

"What Allen meant, maybe, was that Albarn is a character actor. He writes in the distinctly British tradition of the character song"
??????

he's joking ...right ?

― toe-foo (toe-foo), Friday, 2 February 2007 12:14 (seventeen years ago) link

I will be trying my best to win this award in 2007. The problem is that my writing is merely forgettable as opposed to actively awful, but I'll see if I can overcome that. Perhaps a few more "I don't get current music" or "they're pretty good for women" or "watch as i conflate inconsequential band-of-the-moment into the saviors of their so-called generation" stories will do the trick.

― mike a (mike a), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:30 (seventeen years ago) link

i'm only gonna write awesome reviews in 2007. this one is awesome:

http://decibelmagazine.com/reviews/feb2007/eyesofligeia.aspx

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:54 (seventeen years ago) link

Wrong thread, showoff.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

haha i just noticed the mickey slam in the jason gross link

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:03 (seventeen years ago) link

well where is the good stuff thread?? too much bad around.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Skipping 78 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

any piece that uses about.com as a source loses at life.

― maura, Friday, 27 July 2007 11:37 (sixteen years ago) link

There are so many gems in that one. Indie rock music is both a blessing and a curse.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:19 (sixteen years ago) link

"For my report I decided to write about indie rock"

― Hurting 2, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:26 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.indieradiolive.com/

This site is a goldmine!

"With the current pop music charts mostly dominated by dance hall hits and rap music, what seemed like a new rock revolution in the late 90s lead by indie rock bands like The Vines and the White Stripes fell off in favor of more stylized acts and heavily produced pop tracks."

― Martin Van Burne, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:37 (sixteen years ago) link

WHO LOST GARAGE REVIVAL?

― Hurting 2, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:40 (sixteen years ago) link

The conflation of "indie" and "alternative" is making my head hurt.

― jaymc, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:40 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh, go listen to your dance hall hits and rap music, you reactionaries!

The about.com article is also informative, with helpful Smithereens recommendations.

― Martin Van Burne, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:43 (sixteen years ago) link

I chuckled at this when I saw it on pfork today:

Indeed, seeing members of self-proclaimed "gypsy punks" Gogol Bordello on stage with the Material Matron during the naval gazing Live Earth festival hints that Eastern European folk-influenced rock acts may have reached maximum visibility.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 27 July 2007 22:38 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, whatever happened to Mike DeVille?!

― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Friday, 27 July 2007 23:28 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0900entertainment/0050artsnews/tm_headline=songs-are-why-i-got-into-musical-rat-race&method=full&objectid=19724848&siteid=50082-name_page.html

This is from my local (tabloid-sized) broadsheet and the fella writing the article is a Welsh singer-songwriter. He's also the paper's CD reviewer.

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 5 September 2007 11:12 (sixteen years ago) link

six months pass...

We got one of these threads for the 08? Ben Walsh (such a 90s lads mag journo name) decides that an Eagles review is the best place for him to desperately reassert his a) masculinity and b) love of obscure underground counter-culture acts like Neil Young.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/the-eagles-o2-centre-london-799750.html

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 15:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Dissing Level 42 = AUTOMATIC CARLIN FATWA

― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 15:52 (sixteen years ago) link

bad writing, but where's the masculinity stuff?

― Dominique, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 17:47 (sixteen years ago) link

british standards of masculinity

― The Reverend, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 18:12 (sixteen years ago) link

the whistle only dogs can hear

― omar little, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 19:03 (sixteen years ago) link

guy goes to Eagles show, gets all mad that the band he is seeing are the Eagles

― J0hn D., Tuesday, 25 March 2008 19:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I'd guess he's bringing up Neil Young to highlight the turns his career took after a successful period in the early 70s, how he managed to reinvent himself now and again, whereas the Eagles got kinda stale. Compare and contrast, innit. Nothing to do with Young being "obscure".

― Bodrick III, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 19:49 (sixteen years ago) link

The Eagles didn't get stale, they just quit.

― Bill Magill, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 20:16 (sixteen years ago) link

We got one of these threads for the 08? Ben Walsh (such a 90s lads mag journo name) decides that an Eagles review is the best place for him to desperately reassert his a) masculinity and b) love of obscure underground counter-culture acts like Neil Young.
-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:47 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Worst Music Reading 2008.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

^^ lives up to name

― banriquit, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:15 (sixteen years ago) link

two weeks pass...

wtf, that terrible article about joshua bell busking won a PULITZER?!

― Jordan, Monday, 14 April 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link

link doesn't work, but that is a little surprising. That article struck me as an unremarkable example of freakonomics journalism.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 14 April 2008 22:33 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

― Jordan, Monday, 14 April 2008 22:39 (sixteen years ago) link

They eat that Dickensian aspect shit up @ PPHQ!

― David R., Monday, 14 April 2008 23:16 (sixteen years ago) link

four months pass...

http://therawness.com/fun-with-hipsters-the-digital-internet-jukebox/

Not starting a new thread just for this but jesus fucking christ.

― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 11 September 2008 09:22 (fifteen years ago) link

I think the original term for this was "wyatting."

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 11 September 2008 10:51 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

that hipster article :|

― ('_') (omar little), Saturday, 4 September 2010 00:26 (thirteen years ago) link

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