Hey, No Offense, But All Your Blogs Bite It

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And is that supposed to show that there's some kind of music-crit establishment conspiracy to promote indie rock? Maybe the blogger ought to stop looking in publications that tend to specialize in indie rock.

It's a bit like posting examples of critics "jizzing themselves over hip-hop" that are all from Source, XXL, and King.

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Rap reviewers don't spend lots of time speaking in preposterous superlatives about mostly-average music. Although rap reviewers are hardly examples of great crit either.

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 13:52 (eighteen years ago) link

It isn't - it's purely to make fun of people who think indie rock matters. If you ever saw the "this Shins song will change your life" scene in Garden State, the blog makes more sense.

― save the robot (save the robot), Monday, 18 July 2005 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

"I'm completely overwhelmed by this record. I Am a Bird Now is beyond any semi-confectionary aesthetic distance that you might bring to discussing your average album. This music grabs a hold of you and doesn't let go. It feels timeless and gorgeous and bigger than life. It may not be "soul" in the strict, music appreciation 101 sense, but it could make even the most jaded atheist approach a metaphysical regard. It is assured, seering and majestic SOUL to the utmost. I'd put on my critic's cap and dive into scrutiny, but I am too enraptured by this artist's music."

yeah youre right man change the artist name and thats exactly what the source said about slim thug

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:54 (eighteen years ago) link

haha xpost djdee beat me to it

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:54 (eighteen years ago) link

tho when i see some of these rap blogs go off about dipset or swishahouse or some bullshit its the same thing really & i would read a rap version of that site every damn day

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:55 (eighteen years ago) link

hhahaha, thats what i said about slim thug.

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 13:55 (eighteen years ago) link

"'Purple Haze' is a deep and at times uplifting album that continues to direct Cam'ron's never-ending journey through that part of the subconscious most in tune with the sights and colours of nature, with the emotions that are born in the day and the night."

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:56 (eighteen years ago) link

"Thus far in their short career, DSR have found themselves tenuously lumped in with the spiky and contrived screwed music scene most prominently lead by the likes of UGK and the increasingly shambolic Michael Watts. DSR have turntables and a fondness for Screw tapes but, apart from the guitarist’s asymmetrical indie hair, there the similarity ends.

Screw context, screw biography—DSR have been around too short a time for either to matter. What is important is that they have a sense of adventure, romance, belief and intelligence, of art, a desire to explode preconceptions and exceed expectations that marks them out way above and beyond any of their perceived peers."

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 13:59 (eighteen years ago) link

"We're almost exactly half way through 2005, and we may just have come across the album of the year. With Diplomatic Immunity, Dipset has set a landmark in modern rap music and therefore must be heard by everyone. This undoubtedly marks the first chapter in a long and illustrious career. Welcome them into your world."

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 14:03 (eighteen years ago) link

The album's producers weave a grand, sweeping tapestry to give Sigel's lament the heft and majesty it deserves. Like Ghostface's The Pretty Toney Album, The B.Coming swims in the sad signifiers of 70s soul: glistening strings, weeping guitars, swollen horns. On "Feel It in the Air", producer Heavy D has nothing but mournful noir saxophones for ya, baby. Ty Fyffe slathers "Change" in swooning, melodramatic violins. On "Wanted (On the Run)", da Neckbones give the chipmunk-soul treatment to Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive", mining that track's theatrical sweep with stunningly funky results. Even "Gotta Have It", the album's only remotely club-ready track, drowns in an ugly, metallic synth wash. The tracks build on each other, swirling into a symphony of pain, a fitting soundtrack to one man's dark days.

That's an actual Pitchfork review, so maybe it's partly just their style, not a statement on whether or not indie rock "matters" (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean).

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:11 (eighteen years ago) link

"Wanted (On the Run)" is the worst song on that album!

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 14:13 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah dude i mean that indierock4eva site has got madvillain and edan reviews up too, its just corny writing i think

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 14:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Admittedly, I do get annoyed when I see one of these sites gushing over something nearly indistinguishable from two dozen other records (i.e. Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah). But first of all, maybe that reviewer hears something I don't, and second, I think it's just a general tendency of young inexperienced (or just bad) music writers to equate florid praise and purple prose with good writing. It almost seems like their primary experience reading criticism came from reading book-jackets and seeing movie commercials ("A magnificent tour-de-force!" etc.), I know a guy who writes regularly for cokemachineglow, and if they'll publish his stuff, they'll probably publish anyone.

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 18 July 2005 14:20 (eighteen years ago) link

did nobody hear me?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:37 (eighteen years ago) link

(although i'm probably going to look foolish when someone tells me everyone already knew who it was 6 months ago)

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:38 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh, ok. Who is it?

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I don't get it, sorry.

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:41 (eighteen years ago) link

i'm going to give the author a headstart by saying that it's REALLY REALLY easy to figure it out

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:41 (eighteen years ago) link

I totally don't know who it is! Do tell.

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 15:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Brent D

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Ott

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:44 (eighteen years ago) link

edan

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 15:46 (eighteen years ago) link

The general premise of the site seems like something Ott would appreciate, but I guess I assumed he liked indie rock too much to want to ruthlessly take on its champions.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:47 (eighteen years ago) link

you guys can figure it out with logic!! you CAN!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:48 (eighteen years ago) link

slocki you hush!! i mean it!

― strng hlkngtn, Monday, 18 July 2005 15:49 (eighteen years ago) link

I stayed up watching The Wire until late. I don't feel logical.

xp-hmmmmmm

― Adam In Real Life (nordicskilla), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:49 (eighteen years ago) link

raggett

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link

blount

― W i l l (common_person), Monday, 18 July 2005 16:45 (eighteen years ago) link

now THAT is a very interesting speculation.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 18 July 2005 16:47 (eighteen years ago) link

My next review for the Seattle Weekly is so so so totally gonna excerpted to be on the indierock4eva blog. I know it. I KNOW IT.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 18 July 2005 16:53 (eighteen years ago) link

dammit, 3! you knew i was gonna do a dipset4eva blog and now you gave away the idea! fuck it.

― Al (sitcom), Monday, 18 July 2005 16:55 (eighteen years ago) link

haha i actually started one of those months ago but gave up after two posts

― strng hlkngtn, Monday, 18 July 2005 17:05 (eighteen years ago) link

the policeman who stopped you

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 18 July 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

id take a six of tecate over any rocafella release since 2001 besides sigel and maybe that bleek with 'round here' on it

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 19:55 (eighteen years ago) link

speakin of 2001 there it goes

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 19:57 (eighteen years ago) link

I did some investment banking while we were back there, I'm a millionaire now.

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 18 July 2005 19:58 (eighteen years ago) link

haha look what i found-

Subject: camron interview
Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2002 07:55:18 -0400
From: ethan
To: ryan@pitchforkmedia.com

youll have this by next week

----

Subject: Re: camron interview
Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2002 18:25:06 -0500
From: "Pitchforkmedia.com"
To:
References: 1

Give it to NLYPM, I can't use it.

Ryan

----

Subject: Re: camron interview
Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2002 23:33:03 -0400
From: ethan
To: "Pitchforkmedia.com"
References: 1 , 2

why the fuck not

----

Subject: Re: camron interview
Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2002 22:27:49 -0500
From: "Pitchforkmedia.com"
To:
References: 1 , 2 , 3

You know why, we don't cover mainstream rap. A Cam'ron review would be totally out of place and weird.

Ryan

-- simon trife (simo...), August 26th, 2002.

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 20:00 (eighteen years ago) link

MEEEEEEMMMMMMREEEEEEEZZ

― miccio (miccio), Monday, 18 July 2005 20:01 (eighteen years ago) link

robble

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 20:01 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha whoa bizzaro world!

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

so what's happened since June '01? did Sosa pass Hank Aaron yet?

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 20:02 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.villagevoice.com/music/0345,clover,48359,22.html

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 18 July 2005 20:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Times sure change. Predicted this in 2001?

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 20:03 (eighteen years ago) link

freaky zeaky testifed to congress bout his steroid use

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 20:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Jay-Z vs Nas.

― deej.., Monday, 18 July 2005 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

I wanted to like the Cam album, really, but man I sure didn't and I also didn't have any beer in the fridge. that Tecate hit the spot, too.

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 20:05 (eighteen years ago) link

sterl are you submitting that for consideration on dipset4eva.blogspot.com

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 20:06 (eighteen years ago) link

haha gear right now my entire life revolves around turnin wack rap cds into hard liquor

― 3, Monday, 18 July 2005 20:07 (eighteen years ago) link

I received two bucks one time for a CD by this chap named Hard Todd

― Gear! (Gear!), Monday, 18 July 2005 20:14 (eighteen years ago) link

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