show etiquette

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I go to tons of shows and it drives me nuts when everyone seems to be talking during the bands, but refreshingly I don't seem to see it super often -- maybe it's the shows I go to (either so small that there's not enough of the audience to out-chatter the band, or so big that the band drowns out anyone who is talking). I'd say what Jordan did was avoidable but I kinda applaud him for doing it, I totally fantasize about doing that kind of thing but never do. closest I got was at a movie once when a guy would not stop talking next to me, and I turned to him like I was going to say something important or friendly and just went 'SHUT THE FUCK UP' and amazingly he did for the rest of the movie, which was such a great moment.

goodness gracious great walls o gina (some dude), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 13:18 (fourteen years ago) link

If you are in an assigned seat and can not move, then yeah, tell them to stfu.

If you can move, then move. always easiest first best choice.

nicky lo-fi, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 13:21 (fourteen years ago) link

I turned to him like I was going to say something important or friendly and just went 'SHUT THE FUCK UP'

heh. I did this too, at a seated GYBE gig. the exact same words, the exact same effect.

I genuinely intended to be polite to the endlessly chattering gimps next to me, but all my pent-up rage just fell out of my face.

m the g, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 13:26 (fourteen years ago) link

The first time Brian Wilson did Pet Sounds in London - the OPENING FUCKING NIGHT, his first involved gig here since before the old queen died and all - there were two fellas a couple of rows bag talking at normal conversational volume throughout. Finally leapt out of my seat and pleaded with them to let the music talk. One of them told me he'd been waiting 40 years for this night and I was not going to ruin it for him by making him be quiet. That he had paid for his ticket and he intended to savour every minute however he chose.
WTF do you say to people like that, who know they're ruining it for others but completely don't give any sort of a fuck?

ithappens, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 13:42 (fourteen years ago) link

killing's too good for 'em...

preferred method is to beef w/ ned raggett (stevie), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 13:56 (fourteen years ago) link

Typical Londoners. You wouldn't get that anywhere else in the UK.

anagram, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 13:59 (fourteen years ago) link

Hard to know how much of an asshole one will be. I loathe bullying, so the staring-down bs just makes me want to goad them into action. The key is for them to swing, and you not be embarrassed to dodge or back off, so that it's obvious to security that those people need to be kicked out, and you get to stay. I've only accomplished that twice in 25 yrs of shows. Usually they'll back off. Another tactic is to push past them and say you figured they wouldn't mind since they don't seem into the show, ha ha. My best experiences are showing up early and staying right up front. If I come late, I hang in the back, since I'm 6'1"+. Also, it's helped that bands I've seen lately are way too loud to even attempt to talk over.

Fastnbulbous, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:13 (fourteen years ago) link

I have heard people complain that they went to a gig where the band was so loud that they couldn't even have a decent conversation...

m the g, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link

i prefer talking to people over going to concerts but its pretty lame that these people are paying $15 to talk in a loud bar

max, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:16 (fourteen years ago) link

Stevie ... they were Glaswegians who'd come down to London for the opening night.

ithappens, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:16 (fourteen years ago) link

last gig I went to (and I don't get to many these days) featured someone shouting I LOVE THIS SONG! repeatedly throughout about three quarters of the songs. AAAAAAAH.

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:16 (fourteen years ago) link

Ah, right. Good job you didn't try and fight them, then. Although, my name's not Stevie. xp

anagram, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:18 (fourteen years ago) link

Sorry anagram. Misread which post I was replying to.

ithappens, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:22 (fourteen years ago) link

I was not going to ruin it for him by making him be quiet. That he had paid for his ticket and he intended to savour every minute however he chose.

This level of selfish asshattery just boggles my brain. What a frightful human being.

At most other events (theatre, cinema, etc), you'd be able to get an attendant to give them them "you're spoiling it for other patrons" warning, but when faced with that kind of gibbering selfishness I doubt even that would work.

The biggest problem for me is that the talking itself is super distracting, then yr own irritation adds to this, THEN one's indignance and rage takes over with a final result that you're completely removed from the moment of enjoying the music, and it can take an age to get back into that mindset EVEN IF the yapping fuckwit does shut up when asked to. Which they rarely do, ime.

Bill A, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:24 (fourteen years ago) link

Last year I went to see Neko Case at a seated show, and one girl in the audience was yelling shit loudly at the stage after every song -- nonsense stuff like "Neko, I want to have your baby!" to which Neko rightly responded with, "Uh, I think you're a little confused" -- until Neko finally asked her to please not ruin it for everyone else. Audience girl then called her a bitch, so Neko stopped the show and asked security to remove her, to thunderous applause.

El Poopo Loco (Pancakes Hackman), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:29 (fourteen years ago) link

There was a pretty classic discussion about this here several years ago, btw, but no phrases I'm putting into the search engine ("Talking At Live Shows," etc.) are turning anything up. Maybe it was just part of a bigger thread, I'm not sure, but somebody else can find it. Definitely also delved into the phenomenon of tall people standing in front of short people at shows, fwiw.

xhuxk, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Tall people look over the heads in a crowd and go "Oh look there's a hole in the crowd, nobody there!"

So they go into the spot, and see it's populated by shorter people.

And then go "oh. Oh well, it's better than over there" and STAY!

Mark G, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 14:45 (fourteen years ago) link

The guy in front of you who insists on taking camera phone photos the whole time is just as annoying. I once had to watch an Animal Collective show through the camera of the jerk in front of me because it was packed and I couldn't move.

Also annoying to stand near: the freaky dancer.

Damn hippies.

Sam Weller, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 15:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Dealt with to some extent on this thread (but apparently there was an earlier one that talked about it more, because I mention it here too):

people who doesnt like to go to shows , although they love music, and live in a place where it's available - c/d?

xhuxk, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 15:12 (fourteen years ago) link

Last year I went to see Neko Case at a seated show, and one girl in the audience was yelling shit loudly at the stage after every song -- nonsense stuff like "Neko, I want to have your baby!" to which Neko rightly responded with, "Uh, I think you're a little confused" -- until Neko finally asked her to please not ruin it for everyone else. Audience girl then called her a bitch, so Neko stopped the show and asked security to remove her, to thunderous applause.

I actually really enjoy between song heckling, especially if it's at all witty. Though maybe this girl was just more obnoxious than anything. But if I could be disappointed in Neko case and her fans, if that were at all possible, I might be after reading this.

Mister Jim, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

I hope I never attend a show with you Master Jim. Between song heckling is almost never "witty".

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 19:47 (fourteen years ago) link

And even if it is, you have to choose your marks. For one thing, you don't do it after every song. For another, Neko Case?

El Poopo Loco (Pancakes Hackman), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 19:51 (fourteen years ago) link

kinda disagree

"you don't rock" and "play the hit" were two of my favorites

when i go to a lot of shows i start to see a lot of the same people, 'specially if it's a trendy act in a small venue. i have sympathy for the idea of concerts as just an extension of your social life. but you should be nowhere near the front and respectful of listeners and if you're a ligger talking loudly i'm not sure i'd step in to save you if it led to your being beaten viciously.

chronicles of ridic (zvookster), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 19:52 (fourteen years ago) link

I'm not saying it can't be witty, but nine times out of ten the heckler thinks he or she is 1,000,000 times more witty than they actually are.

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 19:55 (fourteen years ago) link

Pretty glad I didn't go to the Girls show at teh Blue Note last night tbh

Trip Maker, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Though I would have liked to see Smith Westerns

Trip Maker, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link

One of my favourites concerns Bono on stage at a famine relief concert, whether true or not I don't know nor care.
There he is standing centre stage between songs and he starts clicking his fingers every 3 seconds and he starts his sermon:
"Everytime I click my fingers someone in Africa will die of starvation". He continues to slowly click his fingers to the silent crowd.
Cue heckler:"Well stop clicking your bloody fingers then!"

I just wish he hadn't adopted the "ilxor" moniker (ilxor), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link

hahaha

guammls (QE II), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link

xxp

there was no one there & everyone looked to be 18-20

smith westerns were really rad

birther blood (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link

I figured, with the weather and all. If I was going anywhere it would have been to the DIY show on Orr street to see my friends. The fact that no one was there and they were being really loud makes it worse. The Blue Note is so depressing when it is empty.

Trip Maker, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:13 (fourteen years ago) link

Pretty used to being surrounded by 18-20 year olds.

Trip Maker, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:14 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/bono.asp

PaulTMA, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:16 (fourteen years ago) link

whether true or not I don't know nor care

chronicles of ridic (zvookster), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:17 (fourteen years ago) link

congrats

PaulTMA, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:17 (fourteen years ago) link

PaulTMA, why do you hate fun?

sarahel, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:19 (fourteen years ago) link

sarge u were in the right they were in the wrong

i almost got beat up at a gwar show in like 96 cuz dudes were trying to start a pit by the back bar

the dong remains the same (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:19 (fourteen years ago) link

Way to rain on my parade, Paul. :'(

I just wish he hadn't adopted the "ilxor" moniker (ilxor), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Don't worry ilxor, I'll tell it to my friends as if it were true.

Moka, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:29 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh, I rarely heckle myself. But I do enjoy it. Not if its overdone, true. But I like the way it deflates the typical show dynamic a bit. My favorite example, I guess, is at the end of some bands set and before they went offstage to wait out the inevitable encore, some guy yelled "play another song you fucking faggots!" Admittedly not witty, but it made me laugh. Now that I think about it, I only really like it when there's a roomful of people all rapt over some sensitive soul up there sharing their intelligence and genius or whatever. I like seeing that deflated.

xposts

Mister Jim, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:30 (fourteen years ago) link

this is how it's done
http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyloaf/files/2009/02/soybomb.jpg

guammls (QE II), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:31 (fourteen years ago) link

I think the thing is also that what even constitutes heckling or rude behavior at a show is going to depend a lot on the type of show it is. Like say a punk show and an indie show and a metal show and a jazz show are going to have totally different norms of behavior. Heckling is funniest at the indie show, and most obnoxious at the jazz one.

Mister Jim, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:33 (fourteen years ago) link

some guy yelled "play another song you fucking faggots!

Anyone that laughed at this is a disgusting savage imo.

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:35 (fourteen years ago) link

Heckling is funniest at the indie show

Everything is funniest at indie shows. Indie music is funny music.

I just wish he hadn't adopted the "ilxor" moniker (ilxor), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:38 (fourteen years ago) link

Admittedly not witty, but it made me laugh.

typed with all the pride of a man boasting about the size of his last turd.

I only really like it when there's a roomful of people all rapt over some sensitive soul up there sharing their intelligence and genius or whatever.

yeah god forbid people go to shows to appreciate and enjoy artists they admire.

لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:41 (fourteen years ago) link

tell you what'd be funnier than "play another song you fucking faggots" - punching "mister jim" in the face

لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:41 (fourteen years ago) link

sometimes a man boasting about the size of his last turd is pretty funny

sarahel, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link

i think ur wrong there

لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:42 (fourteen years ago) link

or just have a really low bar for "funny", whichever

لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:43 (fourteen years ago) link

a good heckle is shouting count-offs right before a band is getting ready to start a song like "1-2-3-4!" my friend got a band to "false start" two times in a row...that's stuck in your lizard brain as a musician, it's hard not to

the dong remains the same (M@tt He1ges0n), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 20:51 (fourteen years ago) link

They're both in G as well.

Halfway there but for you, Tuesday, 16 April 2024 20:58 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

I saw KG&tLW headline a festival last week. In amongst the crowd there were a number of 'mosh circles' - there was one near me and I could see four or five others from the drone shots of the crowd shown on the screens. Just a circular area within the crowd with people moshing, or occasionally all running round in a furious circle, or in the slower parts keeping the circle open but entirely empty, until the rock kicked back in and it was mosh time again. Never seen anything like that before, is it common in festival shows?

ledge, Thursday, 30 May 2024 15:08 (one week ago) link

If you generally avoid metal or hardcore adjacent shows, not surprising it would look weird on a first view

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Thursday, 30 May 2024 15:24 (one week ago) link

A pig pile is a style moshing popular amongst the Boston hardcore scene in the 1980s. It involved one person being pushed to the ground and others beginning to pile on top of them.[14]

oh yeah sounds fun

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2024 15:25 (one week ago) link

some hilarious shit in this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehIXgbxX6vk

Hmmmmm (jamiesummerz), Thursday, 30 May 2024 15:26 (one week ago) link

Isn't that mostly a bunch of blokes jogging round in a circle together?

so the thing about moshing is there seem to be two schools of thought, based on fellow moshers I've talked to, and me not being around when it developed, idk if one is more right than the other:

1) my lifer metalhead friend, who had his girlfriend stolen by Trey from Morbid Angel, claims contact with other moshers isn't the point, that it is supposed to be running in a circle only and collisions are accidental, and says if you wanna do the other thing, you just slam dance and fuck the circle.

2) everyone else I know feels yes, you run in a circle, but you are intentionally supposed to push/bang into other people gently as part of the running, but organically, not like, abandoning the circle to beeline for some person across from you

quite frankly I'm usually tuckered out after running in a circle once though

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2024 15:56 (one week ago) link

frankly most pits I've been in have people following both rules so I just throw on some Lidocaine and pray for the best

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2024 15:56 (one week ago) link

I was there for the evolution of "pile of limbs" thrash pits into the circle thing, I distinctly remember the first circle pit I saw (Husker Du & Zero Boys, summer 1986) and I was like wtf. generally I see behavior #1 these days.

I painted my teeth (sleeve), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:00 (one week ago) link

My experience in the late 80s and early 90s was that the bulk of the audience at shows would be tightly packed together and pushing and shoving each other in time with the music, but it wasn't violent, it was just sort of swaying as one. Then there would be circles that would open up, sort of the way kids gather and form a circle around a fight in the schoolyard, and within that circle people would run out and do little dances, kicking and punching at the air. Sometimes two of them would run into each other and shove each other away, or grab each other's wrists and swing around in a circle, eventually breaking free and flying backward into the ring of people surrounding the open area.

The only time I saw the "everybody run in a circle" thing was at specific moments in a show when the band would call for it; Fishbone had one particular song, "Subliminal Fascism," where they wanted everybody to do that.

When shows allowed stage diving, the open circles would close up so people could catch divers. Nobody wants to see someone come flying out and splat on the floor.

Instead of create and send out, it pull back and consume (unperson), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:08 (one week ago) link

unless it's the Nuge

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:19 (one week ago) link

of course, there are also circle punchers, who are little cowardly shits who sit at the edge of the pit and punch people in the stomach opportunistically, as they run by...only to scamper away giggling afterward.

i thought it was just one asshole shithead troll at a festival I was at, when it happened to me again in another state by a completely different person within the same year. fortunately they usually hit the one guy who makes them regret it afterward.

Iacocca Cola (Neanderthal), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:20 (one week ago) link

Well this is all weird and fascinating.

Isn't that mostly a bunch of blokes jogging round in a circle together?

otm. I can imagine it being fun once or twice but strange that apparently it's now a thing everyone does.

ledge, Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:50 (one week ago) link

My experience in the late 80s and early 90s was that the bulk of the audience at shows would be tightly packed together and pushing and shoving each other in time with the music, but it wasn't violent, it was just sort of swaying as one. Then there would be circles that would open up, sort of the way kids gather and form a circle around a fight in the schoolyard, and within that circle people would run out and do little dances, kicking and punching at the air. Sometimes two of them would run into each other and shove each other away, or grab each other's wrists and swing around in a circle, eventually breaking free and flying backward into the ring of people surrounding the open area.

same except i was a girl and would have always preferred not to be nonconsensually pressed against a stranger, pushed, groped, etc. when i finally started going to shows with a little more space, it was SO much better. nowadays i feel empowered to ask people to back off/not touch me.

Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:53 (one week ago) link

moshing is no joke but stage diving/crowd surfing is kind of a goofy corny thing to juxtapose with heavy music, it adds a sort of ska punk flavor to the proceedings

brimstead, Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:55 (one week ago) link

very clearly remember having a much-anticipated Sugar show almost ruined for me by the guy standing behind me

Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:55 (one week ago) link

it's all goofy and corny til someone violates your bodily autonomy
those days were terrible (note: i have never crowd surfed nor would i have considered it bc i knew what might happen and dnw to b lifted by groping strangers' hands)

Piggy Lepton (La Lechera), Thursday, 30 May 2024 16:58 (one week ago) link

Dutch band De Staat made this video a few years ago, and the idea bled into their live shows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ttGgIQpAUc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilQp_WcCFmU

Maresn3st, Thursday, 30 May 2024 17:01 (one week ago) link

xp yeah, as I reflect now my goofy/corny impression is almost completely due to seeing aerial shots of the idiots on MTV. The few times I’ve experienced it irl were not goofy at all

brimstead, Thursday, 30 May 2024 17:15 (one week ago) link

the “jogging in a circle” thing seemed to be a uniquely American phenomenon, my limited experience of Australian 90’s mosh pits was more just chaotic jumping up and down

and yeah LL otm re being a girl - in general being anywhere close to any of “the action” in those packed spaces almost inevitably ended up as a deeply unpleasant experience, lots of weird grabby hands in places you don’t want ugh

werewolves of laudanum (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 30 May 2024 17:36 (one week ago) link

just here to say crowd surfing is cringe. no exceptions.

interstellar anthropologist+music philosopher, (Austin), Thursday, 30 May 2024 18:35 (one week ago) link


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