I don't see where Kermode would disagree with that at all.
― Mordy, Thursday, 8 October 2009 17:56 (fourteen years ago) link
Dear all critics PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUK IT SOUNDS LIKE and not only by analogy with other artists, and if you cannot meet this requirement please take up knitting KTHX.
― We're gonna destroy their van, we're gonna destroy their faces (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:02 (fourteen years ago) link
^^^^^ this is my personal manifesto
― The Book of Outhere (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:06 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, that's a little hard to swallow, Mordy. Social/political/economic/gender context-identification is merely one thing that a piece of critical writing can (and, sure, in some cases probably should) do. But it isn't the primary function of all music criticism. Providing relevant purchasing advice for an interested audience is just as valid. Or just talkin baot bands, or whatever.
― That's not just me saying that, that's the Pentagon. (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:06 (fourteen years ago) link
to jon lewis's letter to critics i would add "please don't try to use a crazy metaphor or conceit to accomplish this"
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:07 (fourteen years ago) link
Aw, I dunno, metaphor/conceit can be their reward for articulate sound-description I think. Carrot/stick.
― We're gonna destroy their van, we're gonna destroy their faces (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:09 (fourteen years ago) link
Dear all critics PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUK IT SOUNDS LIKE
It sounds like clouds made out of Starbursts.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:10 (fourteen years ago) link
mmmm okay how about "crazy metaphor or conceit that actually works and adds to the review but does not take away from it or distract one's mind"
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:11 (fourteen years ago) link
For Ned:
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/pictures/Pictures/al-hakim-shaking-fist.jpg
― The Book of Outhere (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:12 (fourteen years ago) link
As long as we're on the "notes to critic" thing: yr emotional relationship w/ the artist's work and the extent to which yr personal life situation has changed since the last album came out are not interesting to anyone but you.
― That's not just me saying that, that's the Pentagon. (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:13 (fourteen years ago) link
not necessarily
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:17 (fourteen years ago) link
sometimes it is! don't think there are that many hard and fast rules when it comes to criticism, difft critics have difft strengths - and some really excel at the personalised angle
xp
― lex pretend, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:18 (fourteen years ago) link
these demands need to be a new thread
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:18 (fourteen years ago) link
9 times out of 10, i agree with jon lewis--a writer's emotional connection to the music is uninteresting. of course, it depends on the writer, doesn't it?
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link
Should Brent's Kid A review be brought up again?
― Evan, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:24 (fourteen years ago) link
hahahahahahahahahahaha it should ALWAYS be brought up
for better or for worse, it is one of the most memorable reviews I've ever read and it never fails to brighten my day
― The Book of Outhere (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:25 (fourteen years ago) link
i have never seen a shooting star
― mark cl, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:25 (fourteen years ago) link
Yeah, a good writer can do that no prob and not have it unbalance the review.
Anyway, obv writers in a low-paying high-volume forum have to learn in public to some extent, I'm sure most come to grips with these principles at some point.
xpost please refresh my memory!
― We're gonna destroy their van, we're gonna destroy their faces (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:25 (fourteen years ago) link
http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/6656-kid-a/
The butterscotch lamps along the walls of the tight city square bled upward into the cobalt sky, which seemed as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap.
some days I think this is the funniest sentence ever written
― The Book of Outhere (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:26 (fourteen years ago) link
The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax
― mark cl, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:28 (fourteen years ago) link
the structural problems inherent in starting a review of Kid A with three paragraphs of your orgasmic experience of a live performance of "Pyramid Song", which doesn't even appear on the album and which you actually call "Egyptian Song"... Brent D, I kiss you
― The Book of Outhere (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:29 (fourteen years ago) link
Qualities which one associates with wizard's caps: 'perfect' surely must be first, no?
xpost now I am v v frightened.
― We're gonna destroy their van, we're gonna destroy their faces (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:29 (fourteen years ago) link
The experience and emotions tied to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn birth of a child while simultaneously having the opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax. It's an album of sparking paradox. It's cacophonous yet tranquil, experimental yet familiar, foreign yet womb-like, spacious yet visceral, textured yet vaporous, awakening yet dreamlike, infinite yet 48 minutes. It will cleanse your brain of those little crustaceans of worries and inferior albums clinging inside the fold of your gray matter. The harrowing sounds hit from unseen angles and emanate with inhuman genesis. When the headphones peel off, and it occurs that six men (Nigel Godrich included) created this, it's clear that Radiohead must be the greatest band alive, if not the best since you know who. Breathing people made this record! And you can't wait to dive back in and try to prove that wrong over and over.
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:29 (fourteen years ago) link
that is fucking godawful
― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:30 (fourteen years ago) link
i for one miss the days of batshit crazy pfork reviews
― don't blame pitchfork, blame america (call all destroyer), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:31 (fourteen years ago) link
i want to do a poll of the best parts of that coltrane one that is no longer in the archives
― mark cl, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link
At times like this I refer everyone again to a particular Bloom County strip from 1987.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link
I imagine Brent reciting it with a braces induced lisp in front of his high school creative writing club.
― Evan, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link
Will happily accept Que's suggestion: 9 times out of 10, the deep emotions and personal life situation stuff has got to go. Really good writers can pull almost anything off. Framing conceits, loopy metaphors, easy comparisons to other music, life stories, whatever. And bad writers can't be saved. It's to the vast, gray midfield that I speak.
Hilarious opening line aside, "little crustaceans of worries" is the only non-horrid portion of that review Que posted.
And it oughtta be "worry".
― That's not just me saying that, that's the Pentagon. (contenderizer), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link
http://twitter.com/BDicrescenzo
― omar little, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:35 (fourteen years ago) link
That review 'takes chances', I have to say that for it.
― With good reason, I suspect Radiohead to possess incomprehensible po (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:36 (fourteen years ago) link
these two posts on the same page is kinda funny imo
bdicrescenzo
Why Fallon has already shockingly surpassed Conan in my mind: Yacht Rock party. Christopher Cross with the Roots. http://bit.ly/3U62sMabout 21 hours ago from web
How did new age music and smooth jazz get so popular with hipsters?11:52 AM Sep 30th from web
― omar little, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:36 (fourteen years ago) link
Gah why is my link not working.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:36 (fourteen years ago) link
Scratch that, it is. ANYWAY.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:37 (fourteen years ago) link
Ugh display name fail
― Stillborn birth of a display name (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:37 (fourteen years ago) link
aw
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:37 (fourteen years ago) link
don't worry Jon - I also suspect Radiohead to possess incomprehensible poo
― iatee, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:38 (fourteen years ago) link
(with good reason)
― iatee, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:39 (fourteen years ago) link
Incomprehensible poi.
― Stillborn birth of a display name (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:39 (fourteen years ago) link
They poo incomprehensibility.
― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:40 (fourteen years ago) link
That was the Final Fantasy review.
― as strikingly artificial and perfect as a wizard's cap (HI DERE), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:42 (fourteen years ago) link
wow that christopher cross/roots clip he linked to is pretty sweet tbh
― don't blame pitchfork, blame america (call all destroyer), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:44 (fourteen years ago) link
Lets not forget: http://pitchfork.com/features/guest-lists/6044-david-cross-albums-to-listen-to-while-reading-overwrought-pitchfork-reviews/
― Evan, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:47 (fourteen years ago) link
Actually Forced Exposure reviews used to be pretty overwrought in their own special way back in the late 80s pigfuck era. "This record will chew off yr arm like a month-starved boar" etc etc
― Stillborn birth of a display name (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Byron Coley still does that sort of thing all the time, in the Wire at any rate
― Vladislav Delap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:53 (fourteen years ago) link
Like a gilded phoenix rising from the toxic ashes of the death of mercurial lead guitarist, Peter Chernin, Maximum Minimum snarls back like a taunted tiger on steroids (also on acid). RATING: 8.2
― Evan, Thursday, 8 October 2009 18:56 (fourteen years ago) link
lol "(also on acid)"
― Stillborn birth of a display name (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 19:01 (fourteen years ago) link
hurrah for excessively extravagant language, naked enthusiasm, blatant silliness and raving hyperbole... boo to critics taking themselves seriously.
― m the g, Thursday, 8 October 2009 19:06 (fourteen years ago) link
louis?
― Ømår Littel (Jordan), Thursday, 8 October 2009 19:09 (fourteen years ago) link
B-but those things are usually encountered AS A CONSEQUENCE of critics taking themselves seriously.
― Stillborn birth of a display name (Jon Lewis), Thursday, 8 October 2009 19:10 (fourteen years ago) link