STRONGO HULKINGTON RATES THE PITCHFORK SUPERHUNKS
Editor-in-Chief/Publisher
Ryan Schreiber - more shemp than curly joe
Associate Editor-in-Chief
Scott Plagenhoef - young warren beatty/late ned beatty
Senior News Editor
Amy Phillips - 80s mary lou retton
News Editor
Matthew Solarski - tommy chong circa that 70s show
Associate Editors
Jessica Suarez - free to be you and me-era marlo thomas
Catherine Lewis - that girl-era marlo thomas
Mark Richardson - martha quinn/colin quinn mash-up
Assistant Editor
Tyler Grisham - george wendt in mj's "black or white" video
Senior Contributor
Mark Richardson - didn't we already do this guy?
Lead Reporters
Paul Thompson - lead character in big johnson t-shirt line
Dave Maher - reese witherspoon circa election
Senior Photographer
Catherine Lewis - brandy and monica shoved through conan o'brien "if they mated" machine
Associate Publisher
Chris Kaskie - max weinberg
General Manager
Megan Davey - dave foley as man servant hecubus
Senior Account Manager
Nate Hileman - dave foley shilling for espn poker
Contributing Writers
Nitsuh Abebe - martin landau circa ed wood
Zach Baron - jelly roll morton on his death bed
Tom Breihan - manute bol just after blowing 91 playoffs
Stuart Berman - chuck close painting
D. Shawn Bosler - mayor mccheese after inauguration
William Bowers - tv's matlock
Sam Chennault - salacious crumb
Martin Clark - pete best
Liz Colville - kennedy after getting chewed out at mtv movie awards by ed wood-era martin landau
Jason Crock - lil jon in that infamous high school yearbook photo
Grayson Currin - sly stone on 2006 grammys
Chris Dahlen - mr. peanut
Drew Daniel - august "kid creole" darnell
Stephen M. Deusner -
Ryan Dombal - flashman from megaman 2
Tom Ewing - orson welles as harry lime
Tim Finney - george clooney
Jess Harvell - the mother in what's eating gilbert grape
Eric Harvey - dave mustaine
Marc Hogan - orko from he-man
Brian Howe - mel gibson mugshot
Joshua Klein - burgess meredith as the penguin
Matt LeMay - drunk brandon frasier
Dominique Leone - natasha leone
Marc Masters - amy winehouse pre-coke
Rob Mitchum - amy winehouse post-coke
Adam Moerder - turbo teen
Matthew Murphy - jeff koons painting where he's fucking his wife
J. Niimi - bun e. carlos
Nate Patrin - one of the soggies from 1985 cap'n crunch ad
Amanda Petrusich - justin timberlake in nipplegate photo
Mark Pytlik - dave thomas (pere ubu)
David Raposa - dave thomas (wendy's)
Julianne Shepherd - dave thomas (sctv)
Philip Sherburne - michael anthony from van halen
Dave Stelfox - david yow's penis
Brandon Stosuy - post-op genesis p-orridge
Joe Tangari - joe tangari
Stephen Troussé - the evil pieman from strawberry shortcake
Carl Wilson - dr. fad
Douglas Wolk - too $hort
News Team
Matt Amis - pele
Mairead Case - miles davis circa 1972
Kavitha Chekuru - the members of the bay city rollers in aggregate
Jonah Flicker - burl ives
James Gregory - frances bean cobain
David Nadelle - lala telletubby
Zach Vowell - professor griff
― strongohulkington, Friday, 13 April 2007 22:25 (seventeen years ago) link
Ryan Schreiber - male
Scott Plagenhoef - male
Amy Phillips - female
Catherine Lewis - female
Nick Sylvester - furry
Kristin Sage Rockermann - genderless ancient wiseperson
Mark Richardson - regulation-size football
Jonah Flicker - online picture-hosting service
Kati Llewellyn - female (sex change following "People's Court" stint)
Catherine Lewis - female (though "Lewis, Catherine" is male)
Nitsuh Abebe - turtle (unsexed)
Zach Baron - royalty
Tom Breihan - tall
William Bowers - woodsman, scholar
Cory D. Byrom - female
Martin Clark - fake
Jason Crock - fake
Chris Dahlen - Marissa Marchant
Drew Daniel - robot
Stephen M. Deusner - hermaphrodite
Brent DiCrescenzo - fake
Ryan Dombal - anthropomorphic tooth
Will Dukes - royalty
Sean Fennessey - single-malt
Jess Harvell - female
Marc Hogan - male
Brian Howe - shortstop
Michael Idov - entrepreneur
Rachel Khong - "makes no sense"
Matt LeMay - cannibal
Dominique Leone - hot French chick with big tits
Alex Linhardt - fake
Johnny Loftus - James Dean in hiding
Peter Macia - barn
Rob Mitchum - kind of like that evil brain-thing the Ninja Turtles fought
Adam Moerder - orc
Matthew Murphy - colorless, odorless liquid
Amanda Petrusich - "world's tallest woman" of internet fame
Mark Pytlik - Canadian
David Raposa - Connecticutian
Julianne Shepherd - superintelligent bangs with opposable thumbs
Philip Sherburne - eunuch
Dave Stelfox - fox
Brandon Stosuy - collaborative
Joe Tangari - bioluminescent sea creature
Sam Ubl - female, nee Maselli
Jonathan Zwickel - male, former editor of The Onion
-- nabisco (nabisco), Monday, January 9, 2006 1:46 PM (1 year ago)
― strongohulkington, Friday, 13 April 2007 22:31 (seventeen years ago) link