"Maybe he shouldn't be thinking about my turbochargers" - Formula 1 2014

http://s30.postimg.org/evnjyf0u9/Rosberg_ice_cream.jpg

HE'S READY

(for the ~year of change~)

So many stories to discuss (not least Schuey's recovery), but numbers have been chosen and here's Kimi being Kimi:

Kimi Raikkonen has gone for number 7 on his return to Ferrari, where he was world champion in 2007.

"There's no particular story linked to it," Finnish driver Raikkonen told www.ferrari.com.

"It's the number I already had last year and I saw no reason to change it. I like it which is good enough isn't it?"

Going to ignore the latest German tabloid speculation on Schuey and Lotus not testing in Jerez probably because Pastor's cheque hasn't cleared yet to remind you that Bernie is probably going on trial in Munich!

Stoked for the madness if this happens, especially if we find out about all the skeletons in the closet that weren't poorly written in that book about him.

!!! UNCLE RON IS BACK !!!

Or as the man himself emotionally puts it:

"My fellow shareholders have mandated me to write an exciting new chapter in the story of McLaren, beginning by improving our on-track and off-track performance."

HEY RON: NICE NOSE, SHAME ABOUT THE SPONSORS

http://s4.postimg.org/z11qp9gst/174105_ffd330de_8530_11e3_b939_7fcb48a5bb4a.jpg

Oh, and if McLaren are poaching Eric Boullier then they totally should poach the "hilarious" Lotus social media team.

speaking of

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXATzDBDjgo

The smart thing to do would have been take Pastor's money then lock him in the caravan until Abu Dhabi.

The 2014 team picture for Mercedes is really amazing:

http://s24.postimg.org/z4ca0rprp/Bex_KGr_ECYAA9u_b_jpg_large.jpg

If there was a show featuring Pastor grimacing, shouting and running around a la Hanna-Barbera or Herbert Lom I would tune in

That pic must have been shot right around shooting this (which is kinda lame but I like these stupid little viral ads)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P-9oYUwA_E

will buy Martini Williams shirt (when Sir Frank actually gets around to the sponsorship announcement): http://grandprix247.com/2014/02/11/pssst-wanna-buy-a-martini-williams-formula-1-team-shirt/

yessssss

equal best-ever sponsor with gulf oil and JPS darts

for some reason I never did find Gulf Oil liveries to be classique

Here is a great website for livery fans btw: http://www.fijen.net/f1/teams/

really?? srsly considering this for the wall

for reals, sky blue + orange ain't my scene

possibly "too american"

http://www.f1olivier.info/Prost/Ligier%2093/JS39-Pratt.gif

^^slept-on classic

"too french"

(actually Ligier/Gitanes combination is much underrated and much missed, much like the idea of having a crazy French ex-rugby player running a F1 team)

In 1981 Ligier's old friend François Mitterrand became President of France and when Ligier ran into trouble in 1983 the President ordered that government-owned companies such as Elf, Gitanes and Loto should supply sponsorship.

lol

In 1992 Ligier realized that the socialist government would not last forever and sold his team to Cyril de Rouvre. He used the money he gained to corner the market in natural fertilizer in central France and set about building another fortune. Within a few months Mitterrand's Socialist Party was annihilated in the elections and Bérégovoy committed suicide.

SHIT INTO GOLD, LITERALLY: the Guy Ligier Story

And then Alain Prost managed to turn Ligier into shit only a few years later.

aw yeah

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Xx5DZgzj9HU/UvDoeVg11yI/AAAAAAABQOg/10Kmkv3KoA0/s1600/001ccc.png

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff305/jooora/williamsmartiniracing_zps108eb118.jpg

Both shops

urgh

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-W6-NEZo_kn0/UwRyXL-o_-I/AAAAAAAAJ90/VtpSeJ-3Oaw/s640/blogger-image-1399277478.jpg

The ~futuristic~ technology of Formula 1:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhEkyXFCEAAUGdT.jpg

I was worried that Bernie hadn't said anything offensive in a little while but here we go: Bernie Ecclestone backs Vladimir Putin on gay rights issue

With Ecclestone's legal problems casting doubt over his future in F1, the media has been speculating about his possible successors [...] Ecclestone said it was hard to assess whether they had the right skills needed for the job. "I've no idea what attributes you'd need," he told CNN. "It's like saying we'd need someone to replace Frank Sinatra, you know?"

not bad, not bad at all

http://www.williamsf1.com/Global/Images/Resizable/2014%20Branded%20Modules/Resized/1063_WilliamsF1_Image_06_03c-gallerywide.jpg

WHEN CAN I BUY ONE OF YOUR MARTINI TEAM SHIRTS, FRANK?

one week from the Australian GP aka can Pastor make it past eight laps reliability challenge!!1!

I thought this was pretty great as a quick overview of new regs

~PR japes~

http://www.f1fanatic.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/forc-pere-melb-2014-2-590x886.jpg

I'm still all about how some journos went to listen to a good hour of Ronspeak instead of toasting Frank's new livery.

the fastest cars on the planet btu they cant do jumps

AUSTRALIA LOVES SEBASTIAN VETTEL

(thx kimi)

fucken englanders coming down under and stealing AUSTRALIA'S POLE POSITION

I'm really excited about this first race. For the first time in years I have no idea how things will shake out.

"there's no k"

if my one experience of k was any indication, seb should count himself lucky

daniel "trippin balls right now" ricciardo

totally gonna stack it when they DQ him for excessive fuel pumping

as great as it is to see NICO, BITCH winning a race, I'm just not happy about having a guy called "Kevin" on the podium

Tweet of the Day: https://twitter.com/kamui_kobayashi/status/445086060381368323

well well well a thousand cretinous whinges about the turbos being too silent

imo they can all fuck off, alex wurz is right - "noise is wasted energy"

Who else is awake to watch this silly Malaysian race? It's one I always skip, but this year I feel compelled to see what happens live.

Should of gone to bed.

Look kids, it's Benedict Cumberbatch on the podium!

Lewis might be the winner of the "race" but Nico is forever the winner of plugging the sponsors.

Another good take

Bang, those Mercedes brakes aren't looking good.

Great race. Hamilton plowing through everyone was ridiculous and awesome

Interesting

Fernando’s contract has a clause in it that says that he is free to leave his team if it is not in the top three in the Constructors’ Championship. In Hockenheim Williams overtook Ferrari for third place ...

Wet! Wipeouts! Break issues! I guess there are ways to make the Hungaroring interesting.

Good race

Absolutely! Lots of fun. Wish it wasn't summer break.

settling a bribery case with what's effectively a bribe is pretty smooth work

Well, nothing of note in this Grand Prix so far.

DANNY DANNY DANNY

THEY'RE BOOING EEE JAY (I think).

“I have already expressed my regret about the incident but, after meeting with Toto, Paddy and Lewis today, I wish to go a step further and describe it as an error of judgement on my part.

“The number one rule for us as team-mates is that we must not collide but that is exactly what happened.

“For that error of judgement, I apologise to Lewis and the team. I also want to say sorry to the fans who were deprived of our battle for the lead in Belgium.

Jesus that was like pulling teeth, finally. I'm sure a lot of back room screaming had to happen for them to start doing reasonable PR

The Malady of Mercedes motors on then.

We'll forget about this in a week's time when Lewis has an "emotional" press conference about how Nico threatened his bulldogs. Toto & Paddy forget to tell the pit crew to put tyres on, Niki Lauda shouts German swear words at an imaginary parrot and Daniel Ricciardo starts googling "alain prost 1986".

!!!!!!! VETTEL LEAVES RED BULL !!!!!!!

seb u got fucken psyched out big time

http://s13.postimg.org/3y6y1tol3/Daniel_Ricciardo_1.jpg

Seb is such a spoiled brat. He's a damn good driver, but the old cars flattered him greatly.

So, he's off to Ferrari then? OH THE HILARITY.

Is he really going to a worse team? If so he's really throwing his toys out of the pram, so to speak. Ain't gonna be any better there next year.

Word on the street is that Seb goes to Ferrari, Ol' Hairy Eyebrows goes to McLaren. More hilarity ensures.

Button goes to retirement, I presume?

"Monsieur Button, welcome to ze Le Mans Retirement Home...I zee you know Monsieur Webber..."

Button would be a good commentator, I think. Though a Button and Webber show where they just clown all these guys would be so great. Not enough trash talk in F1.

ahahahahaha @takiinoue is the best of all Twitter accounts: https://twitter.com/takiinoue/status/517948222669877248

Prediction: this is going to be a MAD race.

(if there is a race)

I expect a short parade and partial points. Unfortunately.

"Marcus Spun Off Behind The Safety Car - The Caterham F1 Story"

Sorry to see Alonso crap out.

Glad to see a race instead of a parade.

young daniel lookin' racey out on the kerbs in this weather. it'll be podium or off backwards at 130R at this rate.

Glad to see a Mercedes parade instead of a race so far.

shitty end. Hope Sutil's okay.

Bianchi was apparently in the ambulance.

huh - they kept saying it was Sutil. Hope Jules is okay

Twitter reckons Bianchi hit the JCB recovering Sutil's car sideways.

Medical helicopter taking off from the circuit.

yikes.

Bianchi is unconscious as well.

People you'd least want conducting a podium interview after such a serious accident: Nigel Mansell.

fingers crossed he'll be okay.

Tough news to wake up to regarding young Jules.

Awful dictator spotted at Sochi, sitting next to Putin.

THEY LET PUTIN IN THE COOL DOWN ROOM, COME ONNNN

From what I've read I'm glad I skipped this one.

Aw sayonara JB
http://www1.skysports.com/f1/news/24180/9552422/jenson-button-poised-to-leave-mclaren

Some class from Hammy re JB
http://www1.skysports.com/watch/video/sports/f1/9552718/hamilton-focused-on-finishing-line

do we not have a 2015 thread?

Red Bull had the naming rights but then...

“I want the guy to be up my arse, up my arse and putting pressure on me"

The epic trolling of Kimi

So good

How did Fernando walk away from that? The safety of the modern F1 cars amazes me.