when someone commits a speaking error in the heat of the moment, document it here

some dude is so mean

that shipley, always siccing his army of ducks on everyone

haha oops

"chop to it!"

that's a phrase though isn't it? (chop chop and chop to it).

now nervous. xpost

hop to it surely

"some of facilities could show up on the map as being in, you know...zebek...zebekistan...uzistan...or whatever"

"In the abundance of caution, I am taking the liberty of sending you..."

My mother-in-law remarking on how good something was: "... the best thing since fried bread!"

are you sure that's an error are you sure your mom isn't just awesome

"crack attic"

"the school Liberian"

Although that last one was typed, so I think autocorrect is half to blame.

zebek...zebekistan...uzistan...or whatever

I love this. Giggling like a spaz here.

recently my office was gathered for the announcement that a guy was leaving which led to a colleague giving an impromptu testimonial wherein he described the guy as having been "a real detriment to the company" there was a brief moment of silence before everyone burst out laughing while he tried to forge on can only think he'd wanted to say...asset?

Aw man, the impromptu testimonial speech is definitely the moment of heat, too

the best thing since frybread
http://www.manlykitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/indian_taco.jpg

Colleague: How's the French Onion Soup you're making going?
Me: I camarelised.... CA-RA-MAH-lised the onions last night.

someone mentioned the movie bruce almighty and someone else said something about steve carrell and a funny scene from one of his movies and someone else said "was it in 40 years a virgin?"

reminds me when my younger brother bawled "VAGINA!" at my nan, during a parlour game that involved naming things - in this case "body parts" - beginning with a specified letter.

my nan said "yes dear, I suppose it is" which was about right.

wasn't really in thread premise tho. man at developers I was visiting today said "exackerbated" surely as a joke earlier. not at all in the heat of the moment. must've been a joke.

I once tried so hard to not office-speak "going forwards" that I said "from this moment on" instead like I'm gandalf.

http://youtu.be/P8pnnVwcPUU

"excavator" pronounced "esscavator," about a hundred times in the last week

My wife said on several recent occasions that my son's school participated in the International Bachelorette program.

"Yeah, it's not exactly rocket surgery."

"rocket surgery"

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WW starts out as a disenchanted immaculated suburban guy working a job he's overqualified for while confronted with very real 21st c problems & ends up takes this really wild ride

― °ᄋ๐ْ ° (gr8080) , Tuesday, March 25, 2014 1:08 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I once had an angry client complain "How can you make such a mistake, it's not rocket salad!" and I laughed, thinking she'd made it up as a joke to take the heat out of the situation, but it turned out she hadn't and that's what she thought it was, and I was just laughing at her getting angry and it made her more angry.

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when someone commits a leafy vegetable error in the heat of ilx, document it here

how dare actors cash in? how dare they! please all actors upload the high standards of your audience. for shame!

― djenter the dragon? (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Thursday, June 5, 2014 5:01 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

turning myself in: i always say "deplete the purpose" instead of "defeat the purpose" and then spend the next few seconds trying to remember what i was supposed to say, often to no avail

also mix up "persecute" and "prosecute" all the time

always confuse my dinner with andre with that movie about the pet seal

pefeat the durpose

Also turning myself in, in reverse: for some reason I always assumed "moreish" meant trendy, of-the-now, or sophisticated in a kinda gauche sense. So when I asked for a second packet of peanuts in a bar and the woman behind the bar said she found peanuts moreish, I was puzzled and then laughing about this with my friends: haha she thinks moreish means something you want more of. Turns out that's what it means. Guess I confused it with modish, maybe.

'Deliberate' becomes 'debilitate' with me.

Co-worker: 'who's doing task X?'
Me: 'Russ*l, N*t and me'
CW: 'that's great threesome if you'll excuse the pun'

.....what pun?

i always say prostate for prostrate

people always say no pun intended when there was in fact no pun! annoying!

or maybe they mean none was intended and they were successful at not doing what they did not intend to do so they are announcing it. i did not use a pun, and no pun was intended.

I accidentally said "I pledge allegiance to the plag" the other day

I always say 'debilitating'instead of 'deliberating'

― monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Sunday, 7 September 2014 04:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Argh wrong thread

― monoprix à dimanche (dog latin), Sunday, 7 September 2014 04:13 (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

just said "clinical error" instead of "clerical error" i do this often

listen don't put a guilt conscience on me

this happens to me every day because i work with non-native speakers but my favorite one is self-steam because of how true it is.

hahaha, love that

Last night I said "when pinch comes to shove" :/

Stop by later, I have to show you something. I found some golden gems in there.

i accidentally said "barely manilow" the other day and got excited, until i discovered a tribute act already exists by that name :(