slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

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As far as I understand it, it's a BDSM Twilight fan-fic that got purchased by Stephanie Meyer's publisher, dickered w/ to remove copyright infringements and stand slightly more alone, and became an extra-big bestseller.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:48 (1 year ago) Permalink

how did it get so popular? many of the folks I work with are reading it any talking about weiner-slavery in the lunch room and how to use ben wa balls, and how they're into submission. a: that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine and b: who is this targeted to and c: does it have a celebrity endorsement or marketing push i don't understand and d: i've heard it compared to both steig larsson and stephanie meyers and that makes me certain i will Not Go There

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:51 (1 year ago) Permalink

my mother in law was really excited to read this until I said, "I hope you enjoy vampire porn"; now she is not so excited

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:53 (1 year ago) Permalink

I leafed through a copy of it last night at the bookstore, and it looked pretty dull until I came to a list of SUPPLIES and RULES that included some variation of "nitrile gloves and "no defectation" and thought nope, not for me, not for little remy bean

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:57 (1 year ago) Permalink

from wiki:

The plot traces the relationship between recent college graduate Anastasia Steele and manipulative billionaire Christian Grey. Steele is required by Grey to sign a contract allowing him complete control over her life. As she gets to know him, she learns that his sexual tastes involve bondage, domination and sadism, and that childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual. In order to be his partner she agrees to experiment with BDSM, but struggles to reconcile who she is (a virgin who has never previously had a boyfriend) with whom Christian wants her to be: his submissive, to-do-with-as-he-pleases partner in his "Red Room of Pain."

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

lmao at 'weiner-slavery'

Hungry4Ass, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:09 (1 year ago) Permalink

As far as I understand it, it's a BDSM Twilight fan-fic that got purchased by Stephanie Meyer's publisher, dickered w/ to remove copyright infringements and stand slightly more alone, and became an extra-big bestseller.

Exactly. It's really weird to me that this author isn't in any sort of legal trouble for borrowing so heavily from another work. I know a few public librarians, and they've all been shocked and disgusted at the popularity of this book because it's poorly written (apparently there's a lot of typos?) and basically fanfic.

Remy, I'm a little shocked that your co-workers are talking about this stuff at lunch!

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

So it's like The Story of O for deeply stupid people?

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:11 (1 year ago) Permalink

the hollywood pitch wd probably be Story of O crossed with Atlas Shrugged

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

The Story of O, The Oprah Magazine

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:13 (1 year ago) Permalink

Stedman, we hardly knew ye.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

the most offensive line in the whole wiki is the phrase childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:39 (1 year ago) Permalink

white, male, straight, & economic privilege left him a deeply damaged individual

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

I flipped to one scene in an airport bookstore out of idle curiosity and iirc it was a graphic description of him forcibly putting his wang into her pooper*

*ftr that may not have been what it actually was but now that I've typed that, I'm not deleting it

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

He put the wang in the pooper and drank it all up.

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

(sorry)

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:43 (1 year ago) Permalink

no you aren't!

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:44 (1 year ago) Permalink

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:47 (1 year ago) Permalink

This tumblr is funny, it has some choice quotes from the books.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

Remy, I'm a little shocked that your co-workers are talking about this stuff at lunch!

Yeah, dude! Don't y'all have an HR department or somethin'?

Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:57 (1 year ago) Permalink

The most egregious thing about this book's existence is that you know a slew of hack "writers" are gonna try to piggyback on the same idea (either via a million new S&M books or via writing barely-veiled fanfic of popular books and figuring out a way to successfully self-promote), a la the glut of post-Sense And Sensibility And Zombies trash.

Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:59 (1 year ago) Permalink

meanwhile Jacqueline Carey is sitting at home going, "seriously, fuck all of you"

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

i wonder who she's sitting on these days?

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

Don Cheeseley and Brionie Grainchurch are gonna get it seventy ways from Sunday in Larry Cotter and the Chamber of Inserts.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:04 (1 year ago) Permalink

double lol

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:05 (1 year ago) Permalink

I read this great thing from Erica Jong about it:
here is the link


“Argh,” she says, losing her virginity. This from a virginal contemporary college student, whose hymen is penetrated? The penetrator is one of the “Masters of the Universe” and he dresses in grey. And is named Christopher Grey, has gray eyes, wears gray ties, gray suits and speaks in clichés from badly-written romance novels (which are actually improving).

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:06 (1 year ago) Permalink

maybe she's a pirate?

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

“Argh,” she says, losing her virginity.

this is hilarious

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

I am interested in ebb and flow of the nation's interest in lite porny novels, though. It really seems to erupt at the strangest times.

Fear of Flying was a long time ago (that was definitely not a romance novel)

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

I love that she says "argh" like she's Cathy.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (1 year ago) Permalink

"Ack!" she says, losing her virginity as she crams chocolates into her mouth.

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:10 (1 year ago) Permalink

dying here

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

That's the kind of sound you make when you lose your keys down a storm drain, maybe, but not your virginity.

Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

bleurgh!

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

Man, that would be some serious perversion, making your little virginal slave say, "Ack", when you're devirginizing her.

Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

ACK! My hymen!

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

"Kloont!" she said, losing her virginity.

-- Don Martin's 50 Shades of Grey

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:16 (1 year ago) Permalink

what is the approved onomatopoeia utterance for losing one's virginity?

"Oomf?" "Guh?" "Owwie owwie owwie?" "Fuck you, you actual fucking clown." < blink > "POP!" < / blink>

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:19 (1 year ago) Permalink

Heavens! My virginity ;-)

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

Dr. Seuss's The 500 Shades of Bartholomew Greyins

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:20 (1 year ago) Permalink

Anyway, Erica Jong was mostly pissed about the gravy train/Hollywood adaptation aspect of the brouhaha around this book.

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

And its failure to be a proper "book of one hand"

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

A very cynical part of me says this is a calculated 'make' book in the way of Twilight, Julie and Julia, that David Benioff book about Soviet cannibals, the Dragon Tattoo, Hunger Games, Wimpy Kid, etc.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

... this a book for pooping? or does that phrase mean something else?

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

Think again.

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

Everybody Arghs

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

'make' = deliberately manufactured as a hit i.e. printed in huge runs on cheap paper and distributed in major lots w/ blitz/word-of-mouth advertising/in spite of reviews/tons. best comparison is, like, a blockbuster movie's PR campagin.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

airport books?

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

Isn't there already enough anal probing going on with airport security?

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

"...what the book did for sales of rope?"

i have multiple interpretations of this

get you ass to mahs (abanana), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 17:34 (9 months ago) Permalink

lol

Lil Swayne of Pie (DJP), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 17:57 (9 months ago) Permalink

Fifty Shades of Grey – The Classical Album aims to provide the perfect accompaniment to the Fifty Shades reading experience, setting a mysterious and alluring atmosphere with just the slightest hint of danger … music includes The Tallis Scholars’ sweeping version of Spem in Alium featured in the first novel

erquifpqrfhpuihqweruiofbrqiofhqilrfhilqrvbhiqruvhiqrlvilqrvqilruevhwioerhfuifqrbgvioqvilvoqerhvuioqervierv999

Milton Parker, Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:06 (9 months ago) Permalink

Read that as "Sperm in Alium." Of course.

ms. cookie (carl agatha), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:21 (9 months ago) Permalink

Hitch: "Old boys, I much preferred the butt drawer!"

Jeremy Spencer Slid in Class Today (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:25 (9 months ago) Permalink

don't front y'all, "Spem in alium" is awesome

of course it was more awesome before it was associated with the butt drawer but no one said we lived in a perfect world

Lil Swayne of Pie (DJP), Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:26 (9 months ago) Permalink

i want to go on record as saying "Mommy porn" is the worst neologism of 2012

― "Batshit crazy," the foam clog tycoon said. (forksclovetofu)

I'll second that.

― ms. cookie (carl agatha), Tuesday, August 14, 2012 10:33 AM (1 hour ago)

yup

contenderizer, Tuesday, 14 August 2012 18:40 (9 months ago) Permalink

I can't stop giggling at the response to suggestion number 6.

carl agatha, Thursday, 23 August 2012 20:57 (8 months ago) Permalink

"Put a bunch of (clean!) loose change in the freezer for an hour. Tell him to slick your vulva with warming lube, then cover it with coins (outside only!). The cold against the warm? Incredible."

O_o

NR’s resident heavy-metal expert (Nicole), Friday, 24 August 2012 00:06 (8 months ago) Permalink

"slick your vulva" is not a phrase I expected to read today.

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Friday, 24 August 2012 00:38 (8 months ago) Permalink

They are selling these books @ WalMart now. Their copies are shrinkwrapped for your protection though.

Hut Stricklin at Lake Speed (C. Grisso/McCain), Monday, 27 August 2012 00:40 (8 months ago) Permalink

make sure to use only nickels xxp

jack chick-fil-A (dayo), Monday, 27 August 2012 00:44 (8 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Oh hey, the apocalypse:

Ned Raggett, Friday, 14 September 2012 02:50 (8 months ago) Permalink

Also, if you're going to be accurate, that's only wearable for a day. Not very good value for money.

(P.S. BARRRRF)

emil.y, Friday, 14 September 2012 02:57 (8 months ago) Permalink

Whyyyyy would you want to advertise that to the world?

Also, it would be nice if interviewers found other things to ask the President about other than 50 Shades of Grey.

controversial cabaret roommate (Nicole), Friday, 14 September 2012 03:22 (8 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

OK, that's enough now.

Mark G, Friday, 28 September 2012 09:03 (7 months ago) Permalink

Dom Passantino.

Alba, Monday, 1 October 2012 19:49 (7 months ago) Permalink

Still in every goddamn airport bookstore on the continent

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Monday, 1 October 2012 19:51 (7 months ago) Permalink

Prominently displayed, that is

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Monday, 1 October 2012 19:52 (7 months ago) Permalink

no really that's enough

“We’re thrilled to have worked with E L James to develop the Fifty Shades of Grey range,” says Lovehoney co-founder Neal Slateford. “The Trilogy has introduced generations of women to the joys of pleasure products. Now at last they can buy a range that truly reflects the world of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.”

With names inspired by passages from the books, the official collection will allow women and their partners to enter a whole new world of pleasure. Costing between £10 and £40, the initial range of 20 products includes:

Inner Goddess - Silver Pleasure Balls - £24.99
“The balls weigh down inside me, massaging me internally… they make me needy, needy for sex.”

You. Are. Mine. - Metal Handcuffs - £14.99
"The handcuffs, I enjoyed… well, more than enjoyed. It was mind-blowing. You can do that to me again anytime.”

Submit To Me - First Time Bondage Kit - £49.99
“Picture yourself lying here bound and totally at my mercy.”

All Mine - Deluxe Satin Blackout Mask - £16.99
“Slowly, he slides the mask on…and I’m blind.”

Sweet Sting - Riding Crop - £16.99
“He starts small, biting licks of the crop against my belly once more…until finally, that’s it – I can take no more…”

Twitchy Palm - Spanking Paddle - £24.99
“Spank me, please…Sir,” I whisper.

woof, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 10:22 (7 months ago) Permalink

i suppose at least the range is more straightforwardly connected to the books than the classical album.

woof, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 10:23 (7 months ago) Permalink

How is £49.99 between £10 and £40?

emil.y, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 10:31 (7 months ago) Permalink

"First Time Bondage Kit"

This Is... The Police (dog latin), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 10:39 (7 months ago) Permalink

when I first saw this I just thought how much money does she want? Does she want all the money in the world?, but I suppose she must truly believe fanfic-based bondage will be a liberating force for millions worldwide.

woof, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 10:45 (7 months ago) Permalink

Baby's First Bondage Kit

EVERYONE COOKING SCMABLED EGGS,CHEESE WITH TOASTER!! (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 2 October 2012 12:43 (7 months ago) Permalink

My Little Pony Girl

nickn, Tuesday, 2 October 2012 16:23 (7 months ago) Permalink

Tough decision whether to post this story here or 'your most important local news story', but I'm going with this thread: Which Man Will Be Crowned Derby's Own Christian Grey?

emil.y, Thursday, 4 October 2012 08:39 (7 months ago) Permalink

White Linen Days' 50 Shades of Grey night

i'm confused. very confused.

This Is... The Police (dog latin), Thursday, 4 October 2012 08:54 (7 months ago) Permalink

This was my favourite detail:

The pair run the business White Linen Days – desirable days out for women – which often includes shopping trips to Bicester shopping outlet, in Oxfordshire

emil.y, Thursday, 4 October 2012 09:09 (7 months ago) Permalink

I think I just find something inherently lolworthy about Bicester.

emil.y, Thursday, 4 October 2012 09:10 (7 months ago) Permalink

god bless them for helping the little women achieve their dream of a day out shopping.

I got the Boyzone, I got the remedy (ledge), Thursday, 4 October 2012 09:11 (7 months ago) Permalink

If only such a business existed here, I wouldn't have to fashion work clothes out of newspapers and bread bags.

carl agatha, Thursday, 4 October 2012 12:29 (7 months ago) Permalink

had a dream last night that a female acquaintance from high-school made a really aggressive pass at me. I was confused, and she said "it's because i like your reading material." then i looked down and noticed i was holding a copy of 50 shades. bad, bad dream.

real men have been preparing manly dishes for centuries (elmo argonaut), Monday, 15 October 2012 13:59 (7 months ago) Permalink

That is horrifying. I have been having nightmares every night this past week about being hunted down by a psychotic serial killer, but I'd still take those over your dream.

controversial cabaret roommate (Nicole), Monday, 15 October 2012 14:01 (7 months ago) Permalink

"It's because I like your reading material" is a killer line. Or possibly a killer's line.

Alba, Monday, 15 October 2012 18:28 (7 months ago) Permalink

pretty even gender split (Eazy), Monday, 22 October 2012 14:57 (7 months ago) Permalink

Hha, that's one smart wholesaler.

pretty even gender split (Eazy), Monday, 22 October 2012 15:08 (7 months ago) Permalink

"We can't list all the ways you can use a neck tie but we can say this is the perfect addition to many costumes whether you wear it or use it in some other fashion."

let's have sex and then throw pottery (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 October 2012 15:25 (7 months ago) Permalink

u_u

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 22 October 2012 15:42 (7 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...
4 months pass...

Also Read: 8 Burning Box Office Questions: Is Hollywood Ignoring Women?

brb buying poppers w/my employee discount (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 21:40 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Only Cronenberg can do this work justice. Or maybe Verhoeven. Penny Marshall?

Zachary Taylor, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 21:47 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

so glad these books aren't selling any more. kindle bestsellers list is still filled with similar junk though.

abanana, Tuesday, 23 April 2013 22:55 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Yeah, I noticed they weren't as omnipresent at airport bookshops anymore

Hockey Drunk (kingfish), Tuesday, 23 April 2013 23:02 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Choking thrift store bookshelves in 3, 2, ...

nickn, Wednesday, 24 April 2013 00:55 (4 weeks ago) Permalink

Sunny Delight of the book game

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 24 April 2013 11:09 (4 weeks ago) Permalink


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