guys, heaven is for real!

fuck this shit

i'd like to be dead if i had that kid's haircut

Jesus rides a horse and shoots down power at us FYI

Balloon Boy: Jesus style -- meet Colton Burop

No. 1 on the New York Times best-seller list for paperback nonfiction

not the easiest thread to search for there... I guess we can lock this one though

'

non-fiction

are you calling Jesus a liar

How can you not be impressed that God has a reeeaally big chair?

and personal whores

http://www.inquisitr.com/wp-content/jesus_chair-1.jpg

impossible to know details about his miscarried sister?

"she died"

she liked muffled Dancing With The Stars, and Jesus

I wonder how this kid will feel about going to hell for being a little liar

I would enjoy this book more if it was written by a four-year-old without a bunch of shitty adult editorializing, extrapolating & endless exposition. Pref in the erratic penmanship of a kid.

Why are there never any OBE memoirs about people who go to Hell and come back?

"I (Dr. Rawlings) was watching a monitor to guide a pacemaker into my patients heart when it happened: his heart stopped. This is the story. The patient recounts his story in this way: I blacked out and then you (Dr. Rawlings) hit me on the chest saying 'excuse me.' ... Somebody was yelling. Something crashed over my left shoulder, everybody went crazy. And then I was out of it. I was floating, pitch black, moving fast. The wind whistled by and I rushed toward this beautiful blazing light. As I moved past, the walls of the tunnel caught fire. Beyond the blazing tunnel a huge lake of fire was burning like an oil spill. Elongated shadows showed that people were moving aimlessly about like animals in a zoo enclosure. Down the hill I saw an old friend who had died -- the last I recall they were dragging the river for him, 'hi there Jim' I called out. He just looked at me, didn't even smile. They were taking him around the corner when he started screaming: I ran, but there was no way out. I kept saying 'Jesus is Lord, Jesus is Lord.' Suddenly I was back in my body, as you were putting in the stitches." (pg 72).

Another account is found on page 75. It goes like this: (one of Dr. Rawlings patients talking) "I was guided to a place in the spirit world called Hell. This is a place of punishment for all those who reject Jesus Christ. I not only saw Hell, but felt the torment that all who go there experience. The darkness of Hell is so intense that it seems to have a pressure per square inch. It is an extremely black, dismal, desolate, pressurized, heavy, type of darkness. It gives the individual a despondent feeling of loneliness. The heat is a dry, dehydrating type: your eyeballs are so dry they feel like red hot coals in there sockets. Your tongue and lips are parched and cracked with intense heat. ... The loneliness of Hell cannot be expressed." (pg 75).

tbf the second dude was being treated after being crushed in a george foreman so that's sketchy at best

be ready, there is a coming last battle.

oh look, Jesus believes in Darbyism, too

if this is for real, it's p cool

Every OBE memoir I've ever read has been so soft focus!

Let me say for real, heaven's what I feel when I'm with yooooooooou!

Why do I have a feeling if I take my toaster in the bathtub, I'll hear strains of Dio, followed by a sharp plummet...

Why are there never any OBE memoirs about people who go to Hell and come back?

― Buff Orpington (Abbbottt), Saturday, 12 March 2011 01:38 (1 hour ago)

they definitely exist, but for obvious reasons aren't as popular or as publicized

I totally want to read these Hell tours! Forget you, Betty J. Eadie.

there's tons of 'em online, most of them by unimaginitive fundamentalist types :-/

I would think that for fundie-types, proving the existance of Hell would be just as important as proving Heaven exists. Those guys get a hell of a lot of mileage out of Hell as a stick to beat people in the direction of Jesus.

http://i52.tinypic.com/2utm4yf.jpg

looks like compelling reading.

VERY good cover design -- can't wait to read HEAVEN REAL IS FOR

Heaven For Israel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw7s4pjHSR8&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RRs7fXjs_w

Akiane Kramarik (born July 9, 1994) is an American poet and artistic prodigy.

Her younger brother, Ilia Kramarik, is a philosopher, poet, artist and philanthropist, and is also considered to be uniquely gifted.

http://lightworkers.org/node/109647

http://i.imgur.com/iyssx.jpg

Considered by experts as the youngest philosopher in the world, Ilia has dictated over two thousand philosophical aphorisms and poems comprising ten books being released in 2011.

Usually Ilia’s reasoning is age appropriate, but during special inspirationional times, his creative IQ noticeably escalates, and he spontaneously creates with any theme that is suggested to him. Ilia sometimes cannot explain his creations, but, on occasion, can be very detailed and comprehensive in his oral commentaries.

Considered by experts
Considered by experts
Considered by experts
Considered by experts
Considered by experts
Considered by experts
Considered by experts

“Spending time with this 7-year-old, and his writings, is like spending time with Buddha or Jesus…The experience was transformational beyond words!’
Dr. Leonard G. Horowitz, D.M.D., M.A., M.PH. Ph.D.
Award Winning Author, Lecturer, Executive Producer, Humanitarian, and Scholar

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonard_Horowitz

Leonard George Horowitz DMD, MA, MPH (born 20 Jun 1952) is a former dentist, a health industry entrepreneur, and the author of a number of books, pamphlets, DVDs, CDs and articles on public health issues; the books and pamphlets have been published under his own Tetrahedron imprint. Horowitz is an AIDS conspiracy theorist[1] and opposes vaccination.

i for one ALWAYS talk to my dentist about AIDS

Usually mookieproof's reasoning is age appropriate, but during special drunken times, his creative IQ noticeably escalates, and he spontaneously creates with any theme that is suggested to him. mookieproof sometimes cannot explain his posts, but, on occasion, can be very detailed and comprehensive in his ilx commentaries.

The existence of this book actually makes me want to die. Not to go to heaven, but to not have to live in a world where books like this exist.

http://akiane.com/blog/?p=149

http://i.imgur.com/P22Ag.jpghttp://i.imgur.com/GtxFo.jpg

http://www.drleonardhorowitz.com/

COast to COast AM was way better when it was Art Bell talking about shadow ppl instead of George Noory talking abt light workers.

How is it that one so young can ponder the universe on such a deep level

lol

omg the sister's paintings would make thomas kinkade blush

http://www.wendymag.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/10_2.jpg

Public health scandal surrounding dentists and AIDS, was actually kind of a thing around 20 years ago.

Anyways, didn't this kid "see heaven" when he went up in a balloon? Where's all this surgery stuff coming from?

is this book based?

i saw my dad in a little room talking to god then i saw my mom in another room talking on the phone HOW COULD HE KNOW THESE FACTS

shit as long as i am going to hell for busting on kids...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQKigCl30Sk&feature=related

When people die at an old age, they're in heaven as the "young adult" version. So was the miscarried sister like an age progression young adult? And does that mean everyone is the same age in heaven, so I'll be peers with my parents and grandparents and young adult socrates and young adult cavemen? That is FUCKED man.

thing is, dudes like Socrates are awesome for their insight into the soup that is mortality, but in whatever version of Heaven I assume souls are all equally enlightened so the guy wd be a bog-standard foot soldier and no reason to hang out with him rather than say Randy Rhoads who wd still be shredding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=At9Ujm7RqU8

being a child preacher seems like its pretty much the best

but u probly get ripped off money-wise by the folks

like behind every crazy speaking-in-tongues toddler there's a Joe Jackson with a big stick

And does that mean everyone is the same age in heaven

i know, you should at least be able to choose what form you want to take from moment-to-moment, avatar-like.

Fred at Slacktivist has written about this kinda thing before, about the fucked-up dogmatic ideology subgenre that holds that all fertilized eggs are ensouled at the moment of conception. I mean, how fucked up would it be to encounter something whilst wandering about Heaven you never knew, much less never had any brain tissue on this plain of existence.

I remember there was a movie in like the eraly 90s where billy crystal dies and goes to heaven. he hangs out around a salad bar and talks with a black woman before he goes back to earth? I think I saw this when I was like, 6 or 7.

when harry ate salad

okay, looking at billy crystal's filmography it probably wasn't billy crystal.

but I swear that there is some movie, where somebody dies and goes to heaven and eats salad.

Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks?

And does that mean everyone is the same age in heaven

It was sometimes part of Christian mythology (medieval period maybe?) that everyone was 33 in heaven, as that was the age of Jesus at his death. I suppose the thinking was that, in order for the sacrifice to be greatest, Jesus had to die at the peak of his life. But I imagine 21st century '33' is nicer than 10th century, or 1st century.

http://img858.imageshack.us/img858/8769/jesusp.jpg

seems to be from the right time period, right plot - probably is! will have to watch to see if it involves salad, if there's conclusive proof that there's salad in heaven. xp

thank you based on a true story god

― Buff Orpington (Abbbottt), Friday, March 11, 2011 11:43 PM (Yesterday)

lol

dayo i think your confusion is attributable to the heavenly salad bar's sneeze guard being made out of crystal

it's funny that every archetype of how Jesus looks has him resembling a roadie for Allman Brothers

think having the surname Burpo is probably convincing proof that there is no god

http://img864.imageshack.us/img864/1238/littleburpou.jpg

i wanna put that dad's head in a vice and watch as his eyes pop out.

Why are there never any OBE memoirs about people who go to Hell and come back?

There are plenty of books on trips to hell.

This is a famous one: http://www.amazon.com/23-Minutes-Hell-Bill-Wiese/dp/1591858828/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1299939286&sr=8-1.

The guy built a whole career out of it, going around the country lecturing about it: http://www.soulchoiceministries.org/

for some reason i thought that Amazon link would go to Dante's Inferno (though I don't know if the guy in that book ever came back??)

not only did he come back but he managed a couple of sequels

He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride.

goldfrapp

The book from Rawlings (mentioned upthread) is interesting too: http://www.amazon.com/Hell-Back-After-Startling-Evidence/dp/0785275347/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1299941305&sr=8-1

The claim to authority is that Rawlings was not a religious person himself, giving the impression of scientific objectivity. But no ground is as shaky as NDE. It is my experience that no Christian likes to talk about Muslims who met Mohammad on their trip to heaven and back.

Me: "This fucking book is #1 on the non-fiction bestseller list!"
Wife: "It's non-fiction?"

he had like sea blue eyes and shit

his smile uh lit up the heavens

yeah

"omg wow"

if jesus has a horse that only he can ride doesnt that make heaven less than heavenly for those who wish to ride that damn horse ~think abt it~

is it heaven for that horse?

im sorry but this thread def missed a trick by not making fun of child preacher #7 and #4. #1 just depresses the shit out of me and they should have a horror movie starring #2. btw lol.

the burpo kid reminds me of father jack's coached responses [via the holy stone of clonrichert]

does this lady talk to everybody like they are somebody bothering her on the bus or is it just bc these ppl are obviously scam "artists" she has to go along w/.

a

the fox shikse's condescending uptalk shouldn't be mistaken for cynicism afaict, guess she 'wants to believe'

"just so amazing how you went to heaven and hung out w/ 20 smthings and saw yr mom on the phone"

makes me think of

spirits/angels/ghosts/deities who watch people bathe/get it on/P00P/masturbate

Burpo: The Movie

He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride

I would have thought that Jesus would be riding a Segway these days.

they made a movie

I was so hoping this was Burpo but apparently it's just Malarkey.

http://www.salon.com/2015/01/16/boy_who_came_back_from_heaven_he_didnt_go_to_heaven_after_all/

considering their last name, i think God had the last laugh

also: least surprising URL ever?