Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

oligarchies

shoes with lights on them

arhythmic tap dancers

spanks(tm)

62. PEOPLE WHO DON'T NUMBER THEIR LIST OF INNOCUOUS THINGS

the lack of Sojourner Truth Day as a national holiday

capital letters

tpyos

the existential crisis caused in young children by the denial of Snufflupagus's existence

mods that act with unbecoming lack of dignity when threads annoy them

i mean rly

the fact that no one else could see Snufflupagus

see, one person sets the precedent for not following the rules, and everybody else falls in line. THERE'S ALWAYS A RINGLEADER.

other people's jealousy at your overwhelming leadership skills

now we've got fodder for the other thread!

People behind me on the sidewalk who walk at my heels.
People in front of me on the sidewalk who walk too slow.
People who stop at the top of the subway entrance and block your path while they finish their phone call or just peer down and contemplate what to do next.
People who talk on cell phones above a murmur, especially if they are behind me nipping at my heels.
People who try to hand me things on the street.

81. knowing that there is a mosquito somewhere in my house

have fun living in MN

82. The one or two guys I work with who obsessively & exclusively talk about Fantasy Football, in the manner that 10 year old boys talk about dinosaurs. I don't mind general, occasional chatter about FF, as a football fan I kinda enjoy it, but if that's the *only* thing you can talk about then AAAAGGGH OMG OMG STFU

83. the fact that wasps/hornets only exist in order to live out their darwinian purpose of being dicks

these are all very rational things to get angry about

the point of this thread is not to show how other people are dickheads, it's to show the ways in which you are a dickhead

i was talking about wasps/hornets, which are not people

neither are mosquitos

or dollar bills with things stamped on them

84. Ppl on my bus in the morning who don't pull the stop cord for the train station stop b/c they assume the bus is going to stop there anyway.

85. The cheerful guy whose entire job is to hand commuters copies of the Red Eye (free, terrible commuter paper produced by the Chicago Sun Times) b/c if I want this piece of shit publication, I can grab it out of the ubiquitous paper boxes in front of the station. I don't need you to mock bow and sing out "Good morning!" and flourish the paper in my face as I enter the station.

86. People who wear sports jerseys to work. You're a grown up in a professional job. Dress like one.

wish to register protest at #86. proper grownup jobs let you decide to dress yourself

Protest all you want. It will not change that it is an innocuous thing that annoys me.

- when other people arrive like 10 minutes late to work, on the one day that i'm not 15 minutes late to work

"what slackers" i say to myself

"they should take this job more seriously" i think, as i munch a muffin and check my personal email

"do they really think no one notices?"

then i show up at my normal time, 15 minutes late, for the next two months

88. slowmoving massive line to get into a large, multi-stalled women's bathroom....where over HALF the stalls are actually empty.
the reason for the line is that PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING RETARDED THEY STOP DEAD AT THE ENTRANCE AND STARE FOR AN HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH STALLS ARE EMPTY. JUST WALK IN YOU FUCKING SHEEP. WALK. IN.

89. People who talk about Glee to say anything other than "it sucks"

people who exist, near me

I'm so with you today, Tracer.

People who beat me to the printer/copier when two of the three machines are out of order, and there are like 40 people all sharing the remaining one.

90. People who misuse apostrophes over and over again, putting them in every plural word. I DEMAND PERFECT GRAMMAR, EVEN ON THE INTERNET.

people who buy things in shops, if they are in front of me in line

the people behind me are cool

retail staff who don't move with 100% videogame-like efficiency

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO DAWDLE OVER THAT POPPADOM

People who audibly disapprove of me or my wishes, anywhere, any time, in any language.

testify

I wish I were kidding.

91. people getting irrationally angry about other people who walk slowly. i want to walk at whatever pace i feel like thank you very much

Hangers. Just because.

People who disappear off the face of the Earth for a month, completely out of phone/e-mail contact, then suddenly send a group e-mail at 5:20PM scheduling a pair of two hour "catch up" meetings for the following day at 10AM and late afternoon. Thanks for that, it's not like I was DOING ANYTHING oh wait I WAS AND YOU BOLLOCKS'ED UP MY DAY

94. people who quote rules, policies or laws at me rather than just acquiescing to my demands

93. People in restaurants who order using either "Can I get . . ." or "I'm going to have . . . " instead of "May I have . . . " or "May I please have . . . "

94. Motherfuckers who pay for things by putting the money on the counter, rather than handing it to the cashier.