Ask A Burrito

a cargo cult style thread - if it is started, then maybe a burrito will come and answer questions

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BURRITO

hey burrito, can you sweat?

do you get mad when people call you "aburrido"

if you were bigger, could someone actually ride you to the bottom of the grand canyon?

Burrito not a question, but the instant I clicked on this thread, one of my coworkers out in the hall said "Burr-i-to!"

Burrito, I look for my meal, it's burrito

hey burrito, can you sweat?

ENCHILADA SAUCE AND CONDENSATION, ALL DAY EVERY DAY. THERE IS NO DEODORANT STRONG ENOUGH

^^^burrito suizo

FUCK AMERICAN BURRTIO

do you get mad when people call you "aburrido"

"BURRAJO" IS RATHER MORE OFFENSIVE

if you were bigger, could someone actually ride you to the bottom of the grand canyon?

― My totem animal is a hamburger. (WmC), Friday, July 30, 2010 5:18 PM (11 minutes ago)

NO

burrito, do you like berries

what makes a burrito a burrito?

were you offended by your loss to berries?

burrito, how do you reproduce? and please tell me about your family.

if you could sb berries, would you?

also turn-ons and turn-offs plz

what makes a burrito a burrito?

CUMIN. GUAC. SCALLIONS. REFRIED BEANS. MINIMUM 3 TYPES OF CHEESE, AT LEAST 1 OF THEM JACK. A PINCH OF ACTUAL BABY DONKEY MEAT, SHREDDED.

burrito, how do you reproduce? and please tell me about your family.

MOM IS MULE, DAD WAS BURRO. NOT SURE HOW THIS HAPPEND. BABY BROTHERS ARE TURKEY FLAUTAS. SISTER IS A CHIMI BUT WE ARE ESTRANGED. I AM STERILE.

turn-ons and turn-offs plz

ONS: GUAC, FISH TACOS, BEANBUSTING/OLIVEPLAY

OFFS: BERRIES AND QUESTIONS ABOUT BERRIES, SOUR CREAM, ANYTHING THATS BEEN MICROWAVED

BURRITO what do you think of ilx mod jjjusten?

BURRITO what do you think of ilx mod jjjusten?

THE POUTINE APOLOGIST? DISGUSTING SAVAGE THROUGH AND THROUGH

what should i fill you with?

awesome DN/post interface

burrito, how do you feel about the increasing popularity of the chipotle chain of restaurants?

Man, you know it's been a bad day if you don't feel like talking to an aggro burrito.

sorry about yr bad day, Abbott...but yeah, you're right, this probably is not the right time to engage with a chaotic/evil burrito

This is a real burrito. I am happy to answer any questions you may have.

To tell the truth, I am a little sad that this angry "BURRITO" has derailed the conversation up until this point.

FUCK AMERICAN BURRTIO

― she vajazzled....and forgot! (acoleuthic), Friday, July 30, 2010 5:26 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

Language!

what is a "burrtio"?

I think it is a small man named Burt, in Italian.

I don't know why she vajazzled...and forgot is so angry about this though.

burrtio = burr uncle

a burrito,

what will it be like on the day the planet falls into the sun?

sincerely,
markers

It will be hot and sad. It will be a bad day to be a burrito, and a bad day to be a people.

bummer

It's OK, by then you will be long dead and i will be terribly spoiled or poo.

Burrito: coriander or cilantro?

I try to be an open-minded foodstuff, but when it comes down brass tacks, cilantro has always had my back.

I have a lot of catching up to do here, so I am just going to work backwards. I will leave the boorish answers of BURRITO to stand alone, but I want to be clear that they do not reflect my own opinions, and i have a sneaking suspicion that he/she may in fact be a "Chilito" or some similar monstrosity.

burrito, how do you feel about the increasing popularity of the chipotle chain of restaurants?

― krippendorf's trife (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, July 30, 2010 11:40 PM (Yesterday)

Having never been in a chipotle, I defer to my Chilito friend on this question.

what should i fill you with?

― ballerrr (The Reverend), Friday, July 30, 2010 11:21 PM (Yesterday)

So glad you asked! It depends on where I am at the moment. In Mexico, you should probably just fill me with refried beans, rice, and a traditional meat of your choice. If I am up north (el norte), feel free to throw some salsa, cheese, and guacamole in me! We are still friends.

Wheat or corn tortilla?

For evening dress, it is hard to go wrong with a good wheat jacket. However, for a night on the town with ladies where a few shots of tequila are the norm, corn can have a slimming effect.

What makes a burrito sad? Apart from the Earth being engulfed in a red dwarf or whatevs

I want BURRITO back. This new guy is a pussy who needs to burrito up and get some fuckin' hot sauce.

I think the thing that makes me the most sad is ad hominem attacks on the internet. I know that it seems like a harmless thing to do but when you are the victim of it, the pain is hard to describe.

Also I think that this new trend of naming your kids weird invented names like "Pazo" or "Beatrix" or "Kenan" is a sad societal breakdown that should be addressed.

xpost

how do you feel when people choose tacos over you?

I am very proud of my little brother Taco! Given his obvious impediments, we didn't expect him to really get all that far in life, but that hard shell helmet he has to wear seems to have ingratiated him to a certain segment of the population. I, for one, am proud of them both because it makes me happy when compatible people find each other.

Now I am suspicious of small-b burrito. He comes off nice, but I think he's a motherfucker with some dark secrets. I wouldn't be surprised if BURRITO is lying somewhere in a pool of his own enchilada sauce.

also, suggesting he is a burrito at all w/a corn tortilla wrapping him up

burrito, I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say we would love for you to show us how to fold you up right! This is a skill that many lack, probably due to people's skewed filling-to-tortilla ratio and also their bad folding skills. Nobody loves a poorly-assembled burrito.

were you offended by your loss to berries?

IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT BERRIES AND HERES WHY:

THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE A BLUEBERRY, YOU GRIP IT WITH YOUR BURRITO HOLE AND CONSIDER ITS ROUNDNESS. IT HAS A SKIN ON THE OUTSIDE, LIKE A SPHERICAL TORTILLA MADE OF BERRY. SO TAUT, SO DISTENDED, YOU SWEAR IT MUST BE PACKED WITH BEANS, BEEF, GUAC, MELTED MONTY JACK, ET CETERA.

THEN COMES THE LETDOWN. YOU CLAMP DOWN ON IT WITH YOUR BURRITO HOLE UNTIL IT BURSTS, AND WHAT DO YOU GET? ... MORE BERRY. ON THE OUTSIDE, A SKIN MADE OF BERRY. ON THE INSIDE, A LIQUIDY PULPY FILLING, AND ***SURPRISE*** ITS ALSO MADE OF BERRY.

NOW IMAGINE IF BURRITOS WORKED THIS WAY. THE OUTSIDE OF THE BURRITO WOULD BE A CORN TORTILLA (GOD HELP US). BITE INTO IT AND ALL YOU GET IS MOUTHFUL AFTER MOUTHFUL AFTER MOUTHFUL OF SICKLY CREAMED CORN.

I HAVE JUST DESCRIBED THE WORST BURRITO EVER BORN.

YET I, WITH MY TRANS FATS AND BOUNDLESS VARIETY OF FILLINGS, WILL NEVER LOSE SLEEP OVER A MEASLY BALL OF FRUIT FLESH.

BURRITO

Burrito, you are a hearty cornucopia of flavor, but Berry is refreshing and makes good pies.

BURRITO, how do you feel about the existence of noted ILX new jack "a burrito"?

burrito, I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say we would love for you to show us how to fold you up right! This is a skill that many lack, probably due to people's skewed filling-to-tortilla ratio and also their bad folding skills. Nobody loves a poorly-assembled burrito.

http://i28.tinypic.com/2i13437.gif

http://i32.tinypic.com/2gx4axv.gif

http://i25.tinypic.com/2n1zuxc.gif

http://i30.tinypic.com/hv3vcp.jpg

BURRITO I'm beginning to think that you're a deceitful and mean burrito with fillings made from rotten ingredients.

What we are learning today is that no burrito is without its problems.

BURRITO, how do you feel about the existence of noted ILX new jack "a burrito"?

I HAVE NO MAJOR BEEF WITH "a burrito", THOUGH HIS/HER ATTACKS ON CHILIOTS BORDER ON RACISM.

KEEP IN MIND (NOTING THE INDEFINITE ARTICLE "a") THAT a burrito IS NOT AN AMBASSADOR FOR ALL OF BURRITOKIND. HIS/HER POSTS ARE JUST THE WAFER-THIN PERSONAL OPINIONS OF A SINGLE ANONYMOUS BURRITO.

I AM AN AMBASSADOR FOR ALL OF BURRITOKIND AND ALL MY PRONOUNCEMENTS ARE CANON.

Man, you know it's been a bad day if you don't feel like talking to an aggro burrito.

I WOULD HUG YOU, BUT DRIPPINGS OF CONDENSATION AND ENCHILADA SAUCE HAVE NO POWER TO CONSOLE

BURRITO I'm beginning to think that you're a deceitful and mean burrito with fillings made from rotten ingredients.

HUMAN BEING IM BEGINNING TO THINK THAT YOURE A DECEITFUL AND MEAN HUMAN BEING WITH FILLINGS MADE FROM ACIDS AND BILE.

a BURRITO, do you ever stop and wonder if the atoms that make up your insides and or starchy exterior may once have belonged to a dinosaur?

http://adweek.blogs.com/adfreak/images/misc/ati1.jpg

what effect do tasers have on burritos?

a burrito, this post troubles me

I am very proud of my little brother Taco! Given his obvious impediments, we didn't expect him to really get all that far in life, but that hard shell helmet he has to wear seems to have ingratiated him to a certain segment of the population. I, for one, am proud of them both because it makes me happy when compatible people find each other.

you're well aware I presume, being a burrito and all, that hard shell tacos are an abomination unto the LORD, and that actual tacos bear about as much resemblance to hard shell tacos as a burrito does to Mary, Queen of Scots?

i think with your references to scripture you are onto something, Mr. Smith - I believe that this post shows the Cain and Abel nature of the burrito-taco brotherhood. Much like in the Bible where Cain lies about knowing the whereabouts of his virtuous brother, a burrito lies about the taco's covering. Also, as in the Bible, Abel is most favored because he gives meat as an offering.

aburrido

so we have the all caps burrito whose sin is wrath, and we have this lowercase a burrito who is clearly guilty of envy ...

I'm gettin the fuck outta dodge if Lust Burrito shows up

what to speak of Wrath Burrito

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Because it's a "wet" burrito.

@d@ml (nordicskilla) wrote this on thread Kingfish is heading to SAN FRAN -- feb 27 -> Mar 3rd on board I Love Everything on Mar 9, 2004

and burritos!
@d@ml (nordicskilla) wrote this on thread Gareth in San Francisco: May 5th-9th on board I Love Everything on May 3, 2004

Burritos.
cutty (mcutt) wrote this on thread Personal Statements! on board I Love Everything on Oct 7, 2005

burritos!
cutty (mcutt) wrote this on thread Seriously, you guys, Happy Thanksgiving! on board I Love Everything on Nov 24, 2004

(Burritos!)
horseshoe wrote this on thread NOEL COWARD is Striding Down K-Street DC MCMXL The Centre for Professional Alcoholics on board I Love Everything on Apr 17, 2007

burritos!
@d@ml (nordicskilla) wrote this on thread "love" by ghostface vs. "family business" by kanye on board I Love Music on Apr 21, 2004

Burritos.
adam. (nordicskilla) wrote this on thread Noise Dude Life Anticipation Lists on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Aug 9, 2004

And burritos.
cutty (mcutt) wrote this on thread MY STAB AT BEING FANCY PANTS ART COLLECTOR. on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Nov 24, 2004

Burritos!
.ada.m. (nordicskilla) wrote this on thread EUROPEAN DANCE MUSIC IN AMERICA: A TREATISE BY SIMON REYNOLDS on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Jan 24, 2005

but...the burritos
cutty (mcutt) wrote this on thread The noise board musical on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Oct 14, 2005

burritos!

strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle) wrote this on thread Far from experimental, but a real good time nonetheless. on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Oct 20, 2005

burritos
JW wrote this on thread INDIAN FOOD on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Apr 19, 2007

burritos?
teeny (teeny) wrote this on thread In praise of really great simple meals on board I Love Everything on Apr 5, 2004

bean burritos.
andy --- wrote this on thread Please pass the salsa! on board I Love Everything on Apr 3, 2006

Mmm, burritos.
Lion-O (nordicskilla) wrote this on thread NOISE BOARD PEACE TALKS on board Idiot Thread Repository on Oct 14, 2005

vegan burritos?
cutty (mcutt) wrote this on thread SHRIMP FOR LUNCH on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Nov 19, 2004

shrimp burritos!
james van der beek (dubplatestyle) wrote this on thread LET'S AGREE THAT WE CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH on board All Noise Dude Summertime Fun Board and Pickle Bar on Feb 2, 2006

3. burritos
kingfish wrote this on thread On the Dole Again: A thread for out-of-work/unemployed/laid-off Ilxors in 2009 on board I Love Everything on May 2, 2009

free burritos are the bestest burritos

stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen) wrote this on thread Thai Restaurants with Jokey Names on board I Love Everything on Apr 21, 2004

and "honkin' huge burritos"
That Girl (thatgirl) wrote this on thread Tina's Burritos: Classic or Dud? on board I Love Everything on Jul 9, 2003

What are these burritos you speak of?

kirsten (kirsten) wrote this on thread This right here is an attempt to find a food that we can all agree on (Part 4549) on board I Love Everything on Oct 22, 2003

Freeze pops and bean burritos.
luna (luna.c) wrote this on thread This right here is an attempt to find a food that we can all agree on (Part 4549) on board I Love Everything on Oct 22, 2003

I hate burritos.
gygax! (gygax!) wrote this on thread Best Staple Food on board I Love Everything on Oct 28, 2003

rice and bean burritos.
admrl wrote this on thread Things to do in San Francisco on board I Love Everything on Jun 18, 2008

burritos are delicious

JaXoN (JasonD) wrote this on thread The SF FAP Band Experience on board I Love Everything on Jan 25, 2004

i like burritos
Eisbär (llamasfur) wrote this on thread dr. strongo's neuvo cuisine on board I Love Everything on Jun 14, 2006

key-lime burritos
Casuistry (Chris P) wrote this on thread This is the Thread Where I say Pt 14: Don't Stop Til You Get Enough on board I Love Everything on May 18, 2004

Maybe it's time to make burritos!
deanomgwtf!!!p%3Fmsgid%3D4581997 (deangulberry) wrote this on thread nyc: fancy a burgers and beer fap? (or grilled cheese if you don't eat burgers) on board I Love Everything on May 28, 2004

Is this place near FLYING BURRITOS?!?!?!
nickalicious (nickalicious) wrote this on thread Babies "backwards r" us on board I Love Everything on Jun 23, 2004

Burritos As Big As Your Head
sexyDancer wrote this on thread Chipotle sucks. on board I Love Everything on Sep 3, 2004

Burritos are too big

AND...

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I hate burritos.
― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, October 22, 2003 2:26 AM (7 years ago) Bookmark

I somehow missed that the proper way to fold a flag is exactly the same way as to properly make a paper football.

i can see how the celiac would not be so loving of the burrito,,,,,

i want to go to Guadalajara so bad right now.

dear burrito,

i had two enchiladas today. are you jealous?

Burritos are too big

...but they are quite small compared to burros.

dear burrito,

I ate you today, and you were fucking delicious. I take (most of) it back.

dear burrito,

is the 'breakfast' version of yourself a sibling, or more of a distant cousin? Either way, I have now decided I must devour one as soon as fucking possible.