hey guys it's jesus's cock

http://s3.amazonaws.com/newsok-photos/912545/medium.jpg
Controversial crucifix creates rift at Warr Acres church

He is risen.

wow, high balls!

"I was horrified,” Smith said

smut, pure smut

hung in more ways than one

"Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus’ abdominal area."

Lol.

hahahahahahahahahahaha

The King of Glory Holes!

i kinda like his expression. and the arms outstretched look like he's shrugging now. "yeah, that's my cock. so what."

Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus’ abdomen "showing distension” — not a penis.

in fairness, that could be showing distension and still be a penis

http://media.jesusoftheweek.com/4372233.0.jpg
http://www.ancientsculpturegallery.com/images/I221.jpg
http://media.jesusoftheweek.com/1329178.0.jpg

jesus christ

http://img.movieberry.com/static/photos/24427/5_midi.jpg

New context for Godhead, hmmm...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBVc35P62jc

http://www.alexandreleupin.com/albums/Phallophanie/slide0001_image001.sized.jpg

a secret history right here

jesus please get off the notorious penis

looks like Jabba the Hutt's tongue

LOLOL, who knew this was a thing? Am laughing so hard at that lightswitch I can't type...

This thing has been around for centuries! The thing = depicting Jesus with an erection. I pointed this out in class as recent as YESTERDAY & was roundly mocked. But also: correct.

http://www.artic.edu/aic/collections/citi/images/standard/WebLarge/WebImg_000003/1974_184726.jpg

The San Damiano Cross is venerated due to the fact that it was the cross that St. Francis of Assisi was praying in front of when he allegedly heard the voice of Jesus Christ telling him thrice, "Francis, Francis, go and repair My house which, as you can see, is falling into ruins". The San Damiano Cross dates back to around 1100, and the identity of the artist is unknown, although he is believed to have lived in Umbria, Italy. Below is a photograph of the San Damiano Cross:

http://www.catholicsupply.com/CHRISTMAS/11047.jpg

Everyone acted like I invented it. It's the same class where I tried to explain the Mom's Apple Pie album cover. There was a context for both, but I'm totally "the weird chick that talks about genital" now.

trying to think of an omnipotence paradox joke 4 this. can jesus get a boner so big not even he can...?

from The Life of Teresa of Jesus, autobiography of Saint Theresa of Ávila (1515–1582):

I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.

The pain was so great, that it made me moan

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/images/t-div-1353.jpg

The Holy Prepuce

The Roman Catholic Church ended controversy over competing relics by ruling in 1900 that anyone writing or speaking of the holy prepuce would be excommunicated. In 1954, after much debate, the Vatican changed the punishment to the harsher excommunication, vitandi (shunned).

I suppose those of us who are already lapsed may continue to discuss without ecclesiastical censure.

He is risen.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, April 20, 2010 2:40 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

lolz

some most of those comments from original pic are bizarre!

the holy prepuce

prepuss?

hey Abbott, you should make copies of this thread and hand it out in class

But maybe excise the crucidildo if poss.

In a discussion about the sacred and the profane, my English professor claimed that a lot of Medieval theologians used the image of ejaculating into Christ's wounds as a rhetorical device in their writings.

whaaaaaa

...but this was, like, 3 years ago, I've never been able to verify it. so what I'm tryna say is, this is probably not a good piece of trivia to whip out in a serious discussion, especially if you're Abbott.

martin luther was pretty scatological but ejaculating into christ's wounds is some next level shit. Material for the next Deicide album no doubt!

heh, whip out

suddenly Matthew 26:27 makes so much sense to me.

er, Matthew 27:26, that is.

Leo Steinberg is all over this...

The phallus of Christ compels you!

I linked to this on FB and a friend reposted it. The following comments have followed so far:

David E its all about perception. i can see where it looks like a dick..but frankly i dont think thats what the artist intended.
50 minutes ago

Joey M I've never seen abs look like that
37 minutes ago

David E thats cause they are jesus abs. :)
35 minutes ago

ENBB Yeah, I really don't see how it could have been intended as anything other than an enormous penis to be honest.
27 minutes ago ·

Darin C I think it's fab...i mean...no one is hung like Jesus, right?
7 minutes ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Muj26g3eugU

"P.S. we got dicks like Jesus"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7D7mXndgi-g

Now I really have to wonder what Jesus meant when he said "It is finished...."

Funniest possible things to say during moment of climax.

This thread is fucking with my head. Is there really that much Christian art from God knows how far back that makes Jesus look like he has a cartoon comedy stiffy?

Also is this the origin of the name of the drink "highball"?

ejaculating into christ's wounds

This sounds like the literal definition of some two-syllable insult in another language.

Frigmata

https://kaleidoscopechristian.wordpress.com/2016/03/12/did-jesus-have-a-penis/