worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

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Gringo Sushi
We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "raw fish and seaweed". Gringo Sushi is rolled with rice paper and filled with anything from BBQ Brisket to Cajun Chicken.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 13
Kemosabe Roll $6.95 6
Texas Club $6.95 4
NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95 4
Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95 3
Big Bird on Fire $6.95 2
Jackass Roll $6.95 2
Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95 1


2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:46 (4 years ago) Permalink

jesus christ

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

Ismael Klata, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

o jesus

just sayin, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

*BARFS*

robert bly is mrs. doubtfire? (Matt P), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

hahaha

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

jesus fucking christ

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink


SURFS UP FAGS!!!

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:55 (4 years ago) Permalink

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:56 (4 years ago) Permalink

"california style sushi"

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

As soon as our models shake the sand out of their clothes we will be able to publish our on-line catalog. Just click here so you can bookmark this page and check back. It will blow you away!

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

fuckin' america.

circa1916, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:59 (4 years ago) Permalink

☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

Kaleidoscope Funk Network (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

sushi with an attitude!

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

aw

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:04 (4 years ago) Permalink

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love how Ray's all into it

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

i hate guy but it's weird how suddenly i become defensive in light of shitty salon articles

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 9 August 2014 18:49 (1 month ago) Permalink

otm

SEEMS TO ME (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 9 August 2014 18:50 (1 month ago) Permalink

read one of his menus, that should reset things for you

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

i'm not even sure anymore

your post, after another million "i'm going there just for the experience i'll report back later" posts/thinkpieces just made me realize that guy's restaurants are the more expensive sit-down version of taco bell's/KFC's "dare you to eat this weird hilarious new concoction we boiled up" method and it's totally working

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:10 (1 month ago) Permalink

you've all been flavortowned and you didn't even know it

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:11 (1 month ago) Permalink

well let's be clear, I'm going there primarily because he has blue and green drinks on the menu and I'm only contemplating an appetizer because I'm not in my 20s anymore

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:12 (1 month ago) Permalink

I mean:

"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"

I read this and thought to myself "fuck, now I have to go to Guy Fieri's restaurant"

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 9:58 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

is there a prix fixe option? 7 course? go for it

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

i hate guy but it's weird how suddenly i become defensive in light of shitty salon articles

Me too!

But no matter how many reports from the front lines of Flavortown, I still need DJP to go and do this thing and tell us about it.

carl agatha, Saturday, 9 August 2014 19:36 (1 month ago) Permalink

pics or it didn't happen

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 10 August 2014 00:52 (1 month ago) Permalink

A seven course guy fieri prix fixe tasting menu would be amazing.

joygoat, Sunday, 10 August 2014 05:11 (1 month ago) Permalink

Also I think anytime you use the word "apps" the drink that goes with it should be referred to as a "'rita" regardless of what it actually is

joygoat, Sunday, 10 August 2014 05:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

shawnpheneghan 10 hours ago

I enjoy triple D - because there are no calories in watching. I get to live vicariously, dining on foods I would never eat, and do it all from the comfort of my couch with no caloric intake.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Sunday, 10 August 2014 11:46 (1 month ago) Permalink

I don't think Guy's schitick is an island to itself. He reflects the change on a national level towards re-selling the familiar, spiced up to attract. Would you rather have chicken wings or a twister dog?

calstars, Monday, 11 August 2014 01:15 (1 month ago) Permalink

Jalapeño Pale Ale Whiz

calstars, Monday, 11 August 2014 01:16 (1 month ago) Permalink

don't pin milwaukee's crimes on the rest of us man

call all destroyer, Monday, 11 August 2014 01:19 (1 month ago) Permalink

SPORKIES
FINALIST

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Monday, 11 August 2014 03:10 (1 month ago) Permalink

2014 Sporkies Finalists:

Peanut Butter Bacon Bison Burger (PB3) – Exotic Meat Grill
Bacon Wrapped Cherrywood Smoked Pork Belly On-a-Stick – Saz’s Ribs
Chicken-n-Waffle Cone – Water Street Brewery
Deep Fried Maple Bacon Cookie Dough – Emma’s Cookie Kitchen
Dolce Panino (Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich) – La Coppa Artisan Gelato*
Grannie Smith Caramel Apple Shake – Flavorburst Ice Cream
Loaded Twister Dog – Water Street Brewery
Lulu’s Caribbean Crepes – Tropics at the Fair

calstars, Monday, 11 August 2014 03:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

predicting this place will sweep next year's awards: http://www.businessinsider.com/inside-us-taco-co-2014-8

ODB's missing grammy (bernard snowy), Monday, 11 August 2014 22:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

EAT TACOS

SEEMS TO ME (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 11 August 2014 22:15 (1 month ago) Permalink

zach stfu and get in the car. We're having blue Ty-D-Bol cocktails

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 11 August 2014 22:19 (1 month ago) Permalink

xp Someone clearly forgot to switch on the alien subliminal message-masking field for that publicity shot

ODB's missing grammy (bernard snowy), Monday, 11 August 2014 22:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

i want that friggin milkshake

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Monday, 11 August 2014 22:28 (1 month ago) Permalink

The "1%er" is served on flatbread with lobster, garlic butter, slaw, roasted poblano crema and cilantro

I MURDER YOU

Οὖτις, Monday, 11 August 2014 22:33 (1 month ago) Permalink

A seven course guy fieri prix fixe tasting menu would be amazing.

― joygoat,

joygoat, I'll PayPal three beautiful dollars to you if you design this menu.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 11 August 2014 22:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

I murder u 2

go ahead. make vid where u rap about this new TMNT movie. (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 01:08 (1 month ago) Permalink

I would eat all this 1%er

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 02:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

Eat the rich

, Tuesday, 12 August 2014 02:09 (1 month ago) Permalink

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 12 August 2014 02:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

i swear EVERY time i open this thread i irl lol at "raw fish and seaweed"

een, Tuesday, 12 August 2014 02:29 (1 month ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

guyntrifierication

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 02:12 (1 month ago) Permalink

his Vegas restaurant is hot garbage

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 02:15 (1 month ago) Permalink

Do tell.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 03:10 (1 month ago) Permalink

Love how that Baltimore menu has all these Fieri Fiasco descriptions apart from Maryland Crab Soup.

and she's crying in a stairwell in Devon (aldo), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 07:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

I think he's saving that for future iterations of the menu, when he'll introduce "Cap'n Guy's Wasabi and Donkey Sauce Chipotle Cream of Crab Soup".

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 08:06 (1 month ago) Permalink

Guy-Crab Dippers

abcfsk, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 09:52 (1 month ago) Permalink

Complete with Guy's own Old Guy spice mixture.

Three Word Username, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 09:56 (1 month ago) Permalink

BRUTHA’S BADASS
CAES-UH SALAD

flatizza (harbl), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 10:45 (1 month ago) Permalink

Honestly kind of surprised there isn't a dish called "Hot Garbage."

oblique blasphemies (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 11:27 (1 month ago) Permalink

his Vegas restaurant is hot garbage

Details!!!

carl agatha, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 12:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

oh damn there is a mayor of flavortown, and he has a burger named after him. is guy the self proclaimed mayor? or does he just promote tourism?

Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 19:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

my story of eating at Guy Fieri's Vegas restaurant:

I flew into town to meet up with a college friend who was throwing an extended weekend birthday party in honor of his 40th birthday. There were few scheduled activities and nothing specific on Friday night, which was when most ppl were coming in, so that folks could explore whatever parts of Vegas appealed the most to them. I mentioned that I was fine with going with the flow but that I really wanted to do drinks and appetizers at Fieri's trainwreck restaurant. Of course, these are MY friends, so eyes light up and it immediately becomes AN EVENT that we are literally waiting for people to fly in for so that we can torture as many ppl as possible.

All of the mixed drinks are available in scorpion-bowl size; if you order one, you get a free t-shirt. I ordered some drink that I don't remember the name of but had an impressively disgusting array of mismatched booze in it and "BBQ bitters". What we ended up with was a giant pina colada.

We ordered the truffle fries, expecting to die from truffle overload. They were actually really, really good! In fact, they were the only good thing about the evening and even there, it was a good thing we were sharing them among 5 people because if one person had tried to eat them, vomiting would have occurred.

I ordered the Won-Tacos. These were tuna sashimi in a crispy wonton wrapper shaped like a taco shell. They were disconcertingly sweet. I ate half of them because I was starving.

Another person ordered the carnitas tacos, took one bite, and declared that they were possibly the worst thing he'd ever tasted.

The birthday boy ordered a hamburger with macaroni and cheese on it. It was absurd to look at and apparently tasted like cardboard.

Some other food was ordered and it was also bad.

At the end of the meal, the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

The really disappointing thing was, aside from the carnitas, nothing was OMG TOTAL TRAINWRECK bad. Only the truffle fries were any good, but everything else was wholly unremarkable, mediocre-to-bad food that had the OVER THE TOP! thing as the only things that made it distinctive from any other below-average meal you've eaten at a bad chain restaurant. Also, the fucking t-shirt is in black and white and WAY too tasteful to be associated with Guy Fieri. Remind me to post pictures of it; the tried-but-ended-up-boring nature of it perfectly encapsulates the food I tasted.

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:35 (1 month ago) Permalink

Another Vegas success story.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:39 (1 month ago) Permalink

the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

cruel lolz

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:44 (1 month ago) Permalink

yeah that must be a tough job

post...aftermath (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:52 (1 month ago) Permalink

Are Guy's places really worse than Chilis or Applebees or TGIF? I haven't eaten at any of them for decades, bar a night in a Mexican airport where we dined at a Chilis for the wi-fi access, but these place all seem to suffer more from an abundance of mediocrity (and sodium) than from utter inedibility. I'm considering heading with friends to Benihana, for example, but I really don't expect much better than Guy's House of Horrors.

Anyway, Fieri's motto should be "The Flair Is In The Food!" That one's on me, Guy.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:54 (1 month ago) Permalink

The most disturbing thing about the BRUTHA'S BADASS CAES-UH SALAD is that it is served in a single "Mega-Crouton".

Tomás Piñon (Ryan), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 21:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

this sounds like Cheesecake Factory makes better food.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 21:04 (1 month ago) Permalink


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