worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

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Gringo Sushi
We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "raw fish and seaweed". Gringo Sushi is rolled with rice paper and filled with anything from BBQ Brisket to Cajun Chicken.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 13
Kemosabe Roll $6.95 6
Texas Club $6.95 4
NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95 4
Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95 3
Big Bird on Fire $6.95 2
Jackass Roll $6.95 2
Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95 1


2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:46 (4 years ago) Permalink

jesus christ

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

Ismael Klata, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

o jesus

just sayin, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

*BARFS*

robert bly is mrs. doubtfire? (Matt P), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

hahaha

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

jesus fucking christ

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink


SURFS UP FAGS!!!

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:55 (4 years ago) Permalink

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:56 (4 years ago) Permalink

"california style sushi"

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

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goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

fuckin' america.

circa1916, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:59 (4 years ago) Permalink

☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

Kaleidoscope Funk Network (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

sushi with an attitude!

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

aw

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:04 (4 years ago) Permalink

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love how Ray's all into it

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

Honestly kind of surprised there isn't a dish called "Hot Garbage."

oblique blasphemies (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 11:27 (6 months ago) Permalink

his Vegas restaurant is hot garbage

Details!!!

carl agatha, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 12:02 (6 months ago) Permalink

oh damn there is a mayor of flavortown, and he has a burger named after him. is guy the self proclaimed mayor? or does he just promote tourism?

Peeking at Peak Petty (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 19:17 (6 months ago) Permalink

my story of eating at Guy Fieri's Vegas restaurant:

I flew into town to meet up with a college friend who was throwing an extended weekend birthday party in honor of his 40th birthday. There were few scheduled activities and nothing specific on Friday night, which was when most ppl were coming in, so that folks could explore whatever parts of Vegas appealed the most to them. I mentioned that I was fine with going with the flow but that I really wanted to do drinks and appetizers at Fieri's trainwreck restaurant. Of course, these are MY friends, so eyes light up and it immediately becomes AN EVENT that we are literally waiting for people to fly in for so that we can torture as many ppl as possible.

All of the mixed drinks are available in scorpion-bowl size; if you order one, you get a free t-shirt. I ordered some drink that I don't remember the name of but had an impressively disgusting array of mismatched booze in it and "BBQ bitters". What we ended up with was a giant pina colada.

We ordered the truffle fries, expecting to die from truffle overload. They were actually really, really good! In fact, they were the only good thing about the evening and even there, it was a good thing we were sharing them among 5 people because if one person had tried to eat them, vomiting would have occurred.

I ordered the Won-Tacos. These were tuna sashimi in a crispy wonton wrapper shaped like a taco shell. They were disconcertingly sweet. I ate half of them because I was starving.

Another person ordered the carnitas tacos, took one bite, and declared that they were possibly the worst thing he'd ever tasted.

The birthday boy ordered a hamburger with macaroni and cheese on it. It was absurd to look at and apparently tasted like cardboard.

Some other food was ordered and it was also bad.

At the end of the meal, the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

The really disappointing thing was, aside from the carnitas, nothing was OMG TOTAL TRAINWRECK bad. Only the truffle fries were any good, but everything else was wholly unremarkable, mediocre-to-bad food that had the OVER THE TOP! thing as the only things that made it distinctive from any other below-average meal you've eaten at a bad chain restaurant. Also, the fucking t-shirt is in black and white and WAY too tasteful to be associated with Guy Fieri. Remind me to post pictures of it; the tried-but-ended-up-boring nature of it perfectly encapsulates the food I tasted.

Star Gentle Uterus (DJP), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:35 (6 months ago) Permalink

Another Vegas success story.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:39 (6 months ago) Permalink

the dude who'd ordered the carnitas tacos told our server that we were heading over to Chili's for some real food. (We were not.)

cruel lolz

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:44 (6 months ago) Permalink

yeah that must be a tough job

post...aftermath (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:52 (6 months ago) Permalink

Are Guy's places really worse than Chilis or Applebees or TGIF? I haven't eaten at any of them for decades, bar a night in a Mexican airport where we dined at a Chilis for the wi-fi access, but these place all seem to suffer more from an abundance of mediocrity (and sodium) than from utter inedibility. I'm considering heading with friends to Benihana, for example, but I really don't expect much better than Guy's House of Horrors.

Anyway, Fieri's motto should be "The Flair Is In The Food!" That one's on me, Guy.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 27 August 2014 20:54 (6 months ago) Permalink

The most disturbing thing about the BRUTHA'S BADASS CAES-UH SALAD is that it is served in a single "Mega-Crouton".

Tomás Piñon (Ryan), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 21:02 (6 months ago) Permalink

this sounds like Cheesecake Factory makes better food.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 27 August 2014 21:04 (6 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

so much beauty

Modern French Music from Failure to Boulez (askance johnson), Wednesday, 22 October 2014 21:18 (4 months ago) Permalink

, Thursday, 23 October 2014 11:41 (4 months ago) Permalink

bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 23 October 2014 11:54 (4 months ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

RIP Johnny Garlic's

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 11 November 2014 19:53 (3 months ago) Permalink

"this lease coming to an end no longer fits the profile of what we’re looking for."

Great sentence.

Brocktoon Tanuki (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 09:12 (3 months ago) Permalink

Guy Fieri with normal hair:

Plasmon, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 00:05 (3 months ago) Permalink

somehow much worse

Geoffrey Splenda, the first Baron Splenda (silby), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 00:07 (3 months ago) Permalink

damn, haley joel has NOT aged well

polyphonic, Tuesday, 18 November 2014 00:25 (3 months ago) Permalink

between two ferns

So beautiful cow (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 00:26 (3 months ago) Permalink

either he sells chintzy furniture or he sings in a piano bar

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 03:16 (3 months ago) Permalink

omg my dad is guy fieri

never say goodbye before leaving chat room (Crabbits), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 03:18 (3 months ago) Permalink

hair color looks faker than normal somehow

hug niceman (psychgawsple), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 20:21 (3 months ago) Permalink

a sobering reminder that guy fieri is forty-six years old

linda cardellini (zachlyon), Tuesday, 18 November 2014 21:26 (3 months ago) Permalink

but he has the arteries of a man twice his age

bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 11:02 (3 months ago) Permalink

Fried onion hellhound on his tail

calstars, Wednesday, 19 November 2014 15:07 (3 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

― Mr. Que, Friday, April 2, 2010 8:45 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink


^^^ no lie I still think this, all the time. great post from a great thread

I can just, like, YOLO with Uber (bernard snowy), Monday, 22 December 2014 15:49 (2 months ago) Permalink

man Joey Fatone is a celebrity chef

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 22 December 2014 16:36 (2 months ago) Permalink

Living without cable means I all too often find myself watching Joey on "My Family Recipe Rocks."

Let me tell you how many of the family recipes rock: zero.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 22 December 2014 17:36 (2 months ago) Permalink

hahaha wait, what

first Coolio, then Kelis, now Joey Fatone

should I be on the lookout for "Meals by Martika" in 2015

the farakhan of gg (DJP), Monday, 22 December 2014 17:39 (2 months ago) Permalink

surely the show would be called Martika's Kitchen??

Funky as hell even on the lap. (stevie), Monday, 22 December 2014 17:40 (2 months ago) Permalink

boom

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 22 December 2014 17:45 (2 months ago) Permalink

"Pot Roast...Thy WILL be done."

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 22 December 2014 17:45 (2 months ago) Permalink

that salon article is not really why I dislike Guy Fieri, also misses the point that the other half of cable television food programming is now contest-style stuff, which is where Fieri got his start, iirc

Fieri bellowing about food is part of the end game, the rest is sub-Iron Chef stuff like The Taste (on network tv!) and Chopped, a Food network show I was unhealthily addicted to which seems to have an extremely low budget

valleys of your mind (mh), Wednesday, 24 December 2014 18:24 (2 months ago) Permalink

I received Guy on Fire for Christmas. Can't wait to cook for friends.

$80 is absurd and very ridiculous! (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 26 December 2014 04:09 (2 months ago) Permalink

i feel that each poll entry here deserves a matching penis

Adding ease. Adding wonder. Adding (contenderizer), Sunday, 28 December 2014 03:10 (2 months ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

Fieri, however, did not attend the hearing himself. Instead, he was playing with Guy Fieri dolls

call all destroyer, Saturday, 24 January 2015 15:36 (1 month ago) Permalink

this whole thing is amazingly funny

Let me help you out Charlie XCX fan (DJP), Saturday, 24 January 2015 19:40 (1 month ago) Permalink

Is it bad that I misread the URL and was hoping the story was about how he proposed to someone at a winery and got totally rejected

Simon H., Saturday, 24 January 2015 19:47 (1 month ago) Permalink

Fuck, I was really looking forward to Cap'n Guy's Wasabi and Donkey Sauce Chipotle Cream of Cabernet :/

deliberately clunky, needlessly arty, (contenderizer), Saturday, 24 January 2015 21:17 (1 month ago) Permalink

Artisinal sierra mist

Οὖτις, Sunday, 25 January 2015 02:52 (1 month ago) Permalink

Lol @ guy fieri sad stock photo

this facial expression

slam dunk, Sunday, 25 January 2015 05:43 (1 month ago) Permalink

I guess I can't say I've never seen them in the same room together anymore

polyphonic, Monday, 2 February 2015 19:19 (1 month ago) Permalink

put away the donkey sauce before the donkey sauce puts you away

It's strange to me too. But we're talking about praxis, man. (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 2 February 2015 19:25 (1 month ago) Permalink

Courtroom sketch of Fieri at the trial of the guy who stole his Lamborghini is the best

(kid got a life sentence too)
http://www.eater.com/2014/1/24/6292173/teen-behind-guy-fieri-lambo-heist-sentenced-to-life

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 2 February 2015 20:23 (1 month ago) Permalink

I feel like the murder attempt is the most important part of that case

"Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Monday, 2 February 2015 20:33 (1 month ago) Permalink

Fieri looks like Judd Nelson in that sketch. Also, I kinda want to make that my Twitter avatar.

Οὖτις Δαυ & τηε Κνιγητσ (Phil D.), Monday, 2 February 2015 20:37 (1 month ago) Permalink

I could murder an Off-Da-Hook Original Smash Burger right now.

how's life, Monday, 2 February 2015 20:39 (1 month ago) Permalink

someone who decided his life was a real life version of Grand Theft Auto stole Guy Fieri's car

somehow this makes sense

mh, Monday, 2 February 2015 20:46 (1 month ago) Permalink


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