worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (3 years ago) Permalink

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (3 years ago) Permalink

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

― goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:46 (3 years ago) Permalink

jesus christ

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

― STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

and for dessert...
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/03/peeps-recipes-how-to-make-peepshi-sushi-rice-krispies-treats-easter.html

― Not the real Village People, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (3 years ago) Permalink

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

― Ismael Klata, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (3 years ago) Permalink

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (3 years ago) Permalink

o jesus

― just sayin, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink

*BARFS*

― robert bly is mrs. doubtfire? (Matt P), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (3 years ago) Permalink

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

― STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (3 years ago) Permalink

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

hahaha

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (3 years ago) Permalink

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (3 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (3 years ago) Permalink

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (3 years ago) Permalink

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (3 years ago) Permalink

jesus fucking christ

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (3 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

― 2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (3 years ago) Permalink

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (3 years ago) Permalink

SURFS UP FAGS!!!

― goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (3 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (3 years ago) Permalink

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

― STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:55 (3 years ago) Permalink

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:56 (3 years ago) Permalink

"california style sushi"

― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (3 years ago) Permalink

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

As soon as our models shake the sand out of their clothes we will be able to publish our on-line catalog. Just click here so you can bookmark this page and check back. It will blow you away!

― goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (3 years ago) Permalink

fuckin' america.

― circa1916, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (3 years ago) Permalink

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

― ✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (3 years ago) Permalink

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (3 years ago) Permalink

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

― a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:59 (3 years ago) Permalink

― ☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (3 years ago) Permalink

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

― Kaleidoscope Funk Network (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (3 years ago) Permalink

sushi with an attitude!

― gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

RIP Chaki:

http://illogicalcontraption.blogspot.com/2010/03/welcome-to-my-nightmare-went-to-guy.html

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (3 years ago) Permalink

― ☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

― gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

aw

― gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (3 years ago) Permalink

― call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:04 (3 years ago) Permalink

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (3 years ago) Permalink

i love how Ray's all into it

― Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (3 years ago) Permalink

i should have guessed it wasn't a real restaurant menu because it wasn't in flash.

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:11 (3 months ago) Permalink

i mean clearly the one overarching joke of parodying guy fieri's restaurant menu is the same, but that's basically about it

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, February 20, 2013 1:06 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

nah bruh, exact jokes and everything:

― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:17 (3 months ago) Permalink

noooooo some anonymous uncredited person co-opted a bunch of jokes from people who gain nothing from their twitter accounts anyway that bastard

― This is called money bags. (zachlyon), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:21 (3 months ago) Permalink

wait how do you know these twitter people didn't just copy guy fieri?

― Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:27 (3 months ago) Permalink

nah bruh, exact jokes and everything: http://i.imgur.com/uS4XN0W.jpg

― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Wednesday, February 20, 2013 1:17 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark

oh word. well anyway by "weird twitter" i meant "the culture of just muddling the spelling of words and thinking it's always funny" not "amateur twitter comedians"

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:33 (3 months ago) Permalink

lol at zachlyon tho

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:33 (3 months ago) Permalink

lol i don't have no stake in this fight just sayin, i saw mobute yelling about this on twitter earlier

― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 06:59 (3 months ago) Permalink

(and tbh i'm not reaaaaaaally sure what "weird twitter" is at this point, is it like those annoying LIL INTERNET/420bonerhugs-type dudes?)

― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 07:00 (3 months ago) Permalink

i don't even know

i definitely feel like the idea of guy fieri is the internet's joke at this point but guy really should have at least cited those tweets if he was gonna use them wholesale and then build off it from there. i don't think anyone would have minded.

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, 20 February 2013 07:06 (3 months ago) Permalink

noooooo some anonymous uncredited person co-opted a bunch of jokes from people who gain nothing from their twitter accounts anyway that bastard

― This is called money bags. (zachlyon), Wednesday, February 20, 2013 1:21 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark

I guess we know which way you fall on the harlem shake thing then

― 乒乓, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 15:17 (3 months ago) Permalink

noooooooooooooooooooooooo

― This is called money bags. (zachlyon), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 17:43 (3 months ago) Permalink

Meanwhile

http://flint.craigslist.org/fbh/3632016862.html

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:25 (3 months ago) Permalink

Anyway, the 'rrhea just wouldn't stop

― Donkamole Marvin (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:40 (3 months ago) Permalink

― administrator galina (Matt P), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:42 (3 months ago) Permalink

whenever something like this happens I just marvel at the complete lack of shame or morality from these people. Like yeah they didn't steal something of great value but their reaction to being caught is pure Ted Bundy shit.

― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:49 (3 months ago) Permalink

Trust me, Guy Fieri is probably takin' my REAL suggestions into close consideration for big $$$, so they can suck it. (Just imagine me doin' the DX "suck it" SO hard, right in their face with the heat of a thousand suns, you guys. Man. So, SO hard.)

― The New Jack Mormons! (kingfish), Friday, 22 February 2013 08:21 (3 months ago) Permalink

All these assholes are in town for SoBe Food & Wine Festival.

― the little prince of inane false binary hype (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 23 February 2013 21:14 (3 months ago) Permalink

http://csh.bz/gifmelter/melt.html?http://i.imgur.com/CivWZC2.gif

― 乒乓, Tuesday, 26 February 2013 21:29 (3 months ago) Permalink

somebody's going to hell
and it ain't me

― forks is lucky he didn't get stabbed over a marilyn monroe cd (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 04:47 (2 months ago) Permalink

I have had less terrifying experiences with endless porn popups in a work environment. Jesus.

― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Wednesday, 27 February 2013 05:56 (2 months ago) Permalink

http://www.happyplace.com/22619/hipsters-freak-out-over-fake-guy-fieri-restaurant-in-brooklyn

― his girlfriend was all 'ugh and he wears a solar backpack' (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 15:55 (1 month ago) Permalink

both guy fieri and williamsburg hipsters are preferable to whichever douchebag wrote that story

― The @glennbeck have raisin b-lls and rice crispy d-ck (stevie), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 16:03 (1 month ago) Permalink

man on the street gag has always been useless and stupid

― No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:36 (1 month ago) Permalink

not ALWAYS
http://www.coyleandsharpe.com/

― i petted a bodega cat today. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:41 (1 month ago) Permalink

maniacs in a living hell is a long time fave.

― i petted a bodega cat today. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:42 (1 month ago) Permalink

if you are unfamiliar: http://www.podcast.com/Comedy/I-151868.htm

― i petted a bodega cat today. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:45 (1 month ago) Permalink

I totally stand behind Coyle and Sharpe. I have some of their stuff.

― No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:57 (1 month ago) Permalink

But they're not doing the group x is stupid because y thing. They're more high-concept prank and performance and lols that are levels above this Jay Leno crap.

― No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 18:00 (1 month ago) Permalink

oh for sure.
maniacs in a living hell is a thinly veiled commentary on the difficulty of being black in america imo

― i petted a bodega cat today. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 18:08 (1 month ago) Permalink

http://www.amazon.com/Larry-Cable-Guy-Deluxe-Cheese/dp/B0074AGRDS

― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 21 April 2013 02:47 (1 month ago) Permalink

good thing it's eligible for free shipping

― fucking Telstra (silby), Sunday, 21 April 2013 02:54 (1 month ago) Permalink

They have the beer bread and one other at my local 99 Cents Only store and I've been tempted to try it, but based on those Amazon reviews I think I'll continue to avoid. And those prices are ridiculous.

― nickn, Sunday, 21 April 2013 02:55 (1 month ago) Permalink

Reviews on this are worthwhile.

― carl agatha, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

Larry should have his name taken off the box.

― fucking Telstra (silby), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:05 (1 month ago) Permalink

I secretly had hopes it would be tasty, or at least palatable. Unfortunately, Larry the Cable Guy bacon macaroni tastes just how you would expect Larry the Cable Guy endorsed bacon macaroni to taste, like chode.

― Hockey Drunk (kingfish), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:58 (1 month ago) Permalink

They have the beer bread and one other at my local 99 Cents Only store

― brimstead, Sunday, 21 April 2013 04:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

Except the beer bread mix is listed on Amazon, and at $10. You could buy two loaves of really good bread for that!

― nickn, Sunday, 21 April 2013 04:53 (1 month ago) Permalink

you could bake like six loaves of really good bread for half that.

― fucking Telstra (silby), Sunday, 21 April 2013 04:54 (1 month ago) Permalink

you could have ten dollars for that

― trey songz, m.d. - "it's dr. heal-your-girl" (m bison), Sunday, 21 April 2013 13:12 (1 month ago) Permalink

You gotta try it!

― H-E-double-s1ockisticks (forksclovetofu), Sunday, 21 April 2013 21:39 (1 month ago) Permalink

Eating in the times sq restaurant today

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 14:59 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

!!!!

report back

― mh, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 15:02 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Take pictures!

― The last of the famous international Greyjoys (Nicole), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 15:04 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

liveblog if possible

― mh, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 15:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

VLOG IT

― mh, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 15:05 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

Well this place isn't gonna last very long

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 16:58 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

hahaha

― Call me at **BITCOIN (DJP), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 16:58 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

The damning truth.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 17:03 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

The donkey sauce is pretty good though

― homosexual II, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 17:43 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

They get it from locally sourced donkeys

― Moodles, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 17:46 (3 weeks ago) Permalink