worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

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Gringo Sushi
We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "raw fish and seaweed". Gringo Sushi is rolled with rice paper and filled with anything from BBQ Brisket to Cajun Chicken.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 13
Kemosabe Roll $6.95 6
Texas Club $6.95 4
NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95 4
Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95 3
Big Bird on Fire $6.95 2
Jackass Roll $6.95 2
Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95 1


2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (4 years ago) Permalink

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (4 years ago) Permalink

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:46 (4 years ago) Permalink

jesus christ

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (4 years ago) Permalink

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

Ismael Klata, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (4 years ago) Permalink

o jesus

just sayin, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

*BARFS*

robert bly is mrs. doubtfire? (Matt P), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (4 years ago) Permalink

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (4 years ago) Permalink

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

hahaha

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (4 years ago) Permalink

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (4 years ago) Permalink

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

jesus fucking christ

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (4 years ago) Permalink

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink


SURFS UP FAGS!!!

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (4 years ago) Permalink

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:55 (4 years ago) Permalink

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:56 (4 years ago) Permalink

"california style sushi"

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

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goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

fuckin' america.

circa1916, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (4 years ago) Permalink

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (4 years ago) Permalink

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:59 (4 years ago) Permalink

☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

Kaleidoscope Funk Network (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (4 years ago) Permalink

sushi with an attitude!

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (4 years ago) Permalink

☀ ☃ (am0n), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

aw

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (4 years ago) Permalink

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:04 (4 years ago) Permalink

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

i love how Ray's all into it

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (4 years ago) Permalink

Soundtrack by Smashmouth.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:15 (3 months ago) Permalink

"Master and the Chillin' Like A Villain Margarita"

schwantz, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:19 (3 months ago) Permalink

Forget Schwantz... it's Flavortown

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:22 (3 months ago) Permalink

don't see why we can't compose it right here, looks like we already have a pretty good start

nitro-burning funny car (Moodles), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:25 (3 months ago) Permalink

under no circumstances am i gising "meat blanket"

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:46 (3 months ago) Permalink

that one sandwich is just a pastrami sandwich with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it

a strange man (mh), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 21:26 (3 months ago) Permalink

Half of Guy's dishes are describable as "_____ with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it"

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:14 (3 months ago) Permalink

half of Guy's reviews on OKCupid are describable as "_____ with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it"

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:19 (3 months ago) Permalink

nobody's pointed out the top of the menu - A REAL HUMAN BEING - AND A REAL HERO

panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:23 (3 months ago) Permalink

always die when i open this thread and see "raw fish and seaweed"

een, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:33 (3 months ago) Permalink

Ain't Nothing Butta Chicken Wing...

All our wings are trimmed into "lollipops" so they're super easy to eat, then we brine & roast each one before frying & tossing in one of our off-da-hook wing sauces.

????? any pics of this

slam dunk, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:32 (3 months ago) Permalink

i've seen this before and all i gotta say is:
if you can't handle a wing in its natural state, you don't deserve a wing at all.

ian, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:32 (3 months ago) Permalink

wtf there's perfectly good meat down near where you hold it!

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:38 (3 months ago) Permalink

Chicken lollipops are great fuiud

, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:39 (3 months ago) Permalink

I was shocked recently to see that one of the headline features on Yahoo was an instructional video on how to eat a chicken wing. The US educational system is a shambles. These lollipops are just the next step toward our ultimate destruction.

nitro-burning funny car (Moodles), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:43 (3 months ago) Permalink

It's an Indian-Chinese fast food dish, not surprised Guy is pillaging ethnic cuisines for inspiration ; )

, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:44 (3 months ago) Permalink

i mean i'm sure the lollipops are good. wings are good. i'm a pretty ugly american but shaving off 75 percent of your food and throwing it in the trash so you don't have to use a napkin is pretty disgusting imo.

slam dunk, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:50 (3 months ago) Permalink

Well in an Indian Chinese restaurant I guarantee you the trimmed off meat is going in a stir fry

I assume in Guy Fieri's restaurant that meat is being liquified for injecting into a cocktail

, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:54 (3 months ago) Permalink

lol

glasses jacket jerfman (how's life), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:55 (3 months ago) Permalink

there is no meat-shaving involved. wings are just severed at the joint, de-skinned and flipped inside out.

r. bean (soda), Thursday, 24 April 2014 00:02 (3 months ago) Permalink

Damn that sounds great. I want one right now

, Thursday, 24 April 2014 00:08 (3 months ago) Permalink

i'm not eating anything described as "gnarly"

brimstead, Thursday, 24 April 2014 00:14 (3 months ago) Permalink

ah ok. well shit i want to pop some 'pops then

slam dunk, Thursday, 24 April 2014 00:39 (3 months ago) Permalink

My kind of popage.

nickn, Thursday, 24 April 2014 07:13 (3 months ago) Permalink

my friend was saying the lollipop chicken wing thing exists in the world of jacques pepin and company

not sure making all your wings into lollipop variety is cool

a strange man (mh), Thursday, 24 April 2014 15:24 (3 months ago) Permalink

yeah the lollipop thing is def from haute cuisine

gbx, Thursday, 24 April 2014 19:12 (3 months ago) Permalink

lamb lollipops are what's up.

sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 April 2014 19:13 (3 months ago) Permalink

From The AV Club's "What's On TV This Week" column:

Diners, Drive-Ins, And Dives (Food Network, 10 p.m., Friday): “MEATBALL! LOLLIPOPS!” screamed the hideous beast Fieri outside of Mama Giada’s Meatball Emporium, your place for meatballs on the Lower East Side. “Batten down the door!” said Tony, a server on his first shift. But it was too late. Guy Fieri had read the title of this week’s episode, “From Meatballs To Lollipops,” and had spun into a frothing rage of hunger. His claws scratched at the door as the Fieri beast threw himself over and over again at it. Tony winced, trying in vain to hold it closed. He was a 25-year-old power lifter pursuing his MBA at City College, but he was no match for the Fieri’s rapacious appetite. “MEATBALL LOLLIPOPS!” Fieri roared, finally battering the door in and scrabbling into the restaurant. “WITH DELICIOUS SAAAAUCE!” Tony died of his injuries.

bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Friday, 25 April 2014 18:18 (3 months ago) Permalink

dan m, Thursday, 8 May 2014 19:54 (2 months ago) Permalink

larry king or zombie al davis?

sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 8 May 2014 20:33 (2 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...

Instead of sitting flat — commonsense, quotidian, even jejune — the cheesecake is set on its edge like a wheel... I imagined Guy Fieri straddling that ragged crescent cake-moon like a motorcycle, riding into a cold and inscrutable universe, crying for an answer, a connection, somebody, anybody, with his painted flames and chocolate-sauced potato chips, his pepperoni armor and outsized burgers: Is anybody out there? I've got cheesecaaaaake!Is it a "challenge" because it's tough 

Οὖτις, Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:10 (1 month ago) Permalink

The offending cheesecake in question

Οὖτις, Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

gross

Neanderthal, Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:18 (1 month ago) Permalink

hahaha what the hell is that

call all destroyer, Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:19 (1 month ago) Permalink

something from the event horizon

Neanderthal, Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:22 (1 month ago) Permalink

"*ksssht* Calling all units, this is Dessert Police, we got a 217 in progress, repeat 217 in progress *kssht*"

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:25 (1 month ago) Permalink

genius never understood in own time imo

JLB Credit (Jack BS), Saturday, 28 June 2014 02:45 (1 month ago) Permalink

That looks like what your stoner roommate who wanted to be a chef (when you both knew he'd be on the line forever) would concoct after one too many bong hits.

carl agatha, Saturday, 28 June 2014 04:01 (1 month ago) Permalink

Mr. Fieri understands that pretzels, straight from the vending machine, are an underutilized component of the Fine Dining Experience.

Aimless, Saturday, 28 June 2014 04:14 (1 month ago) Permalink

that thing is FUCKED UP

Look at this joke I've recognised, do you recognise it as well? (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 28 June 2014 06:22 (1 month ago) Permalink

It also looks like something you'd serve small pieces of to 20 guests, who afterwards would smirk and say how silly it looked, although it was tasty. BUT IN THIS, THE WORST OF ALL POSSIBLY WORLDS, THIS THING IS INTENDED AS A SINGLE SERVING OF DESSERT.

Three Word Username, Saturday, 28 June 2014 09:50 (1 month ago) Permalink

It's so weird because on his "regular" cooking show, where he cooks in a kitchen that looks like a smashmouth rec room (complete with drum set), dude actually cooks things one would actually like to eat! And then it all goes so, so wrong when it comes to his restaurants. . .

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 28 June 2014 13:02 (1 month ago) Permalink

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 28 June 2014 13:08 (1 month ago) Permalink

http://dc.eater.com/archives/2014/05/16/from-charm-city-to-flavortown-guy-fieri-to-open-restaurant-at-horseshoe-casino.php

Most likely, the restaurant will share some similarities to the chef's recently-opened Vegas spot, which has dishes like "Guy-talian Fondue Dippers" and a "Tatted-Up Turkey Burger." As for drinks, expect 16 draft beers, craft beer and a "frozen tap system bar" which will deliver shots out of ice dispensers.

i don't understand the ice dispenser thing

flatizza (harbl), Saturday, 28 June 2014 23:12 (1 month ago) Permalink

I read that as Guy-talian Fondue Diapers first and the sad thing is it didn't seem like an incongruous menu item for him

Neanderthal, Saturday, 28 June 2014 23:13 (1 month ago) Permalink

lol not at all

flatizza (harbl), Saturday, 28 June 2014 23:15 (1 month ago) Permalink

VegasTripping & the Five Hundy podcast couple visit Guy Fieri's Vegas Kitchen & Bar at The Quad. Photos make this NSFW

Fueled by the fact that the douchey item descriptions rendered the menu unreadable, John made the executive decision and ordered the Guy-Talian Fondue Dippers ($14) for the group to share.

This is what arrived.

Straight from the test kitchen at Bonghit University came this culinary question mark, masked as a trashy chic nightmare. Breadsticks, wrapped in thinly sliced cold pepperoni, shaved parmesian with a "smokey" (HEHAHAHAHAH) provolone dip with tomato, basil, olive oil and sausage spooned on top.

Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 3 July 2014 23:01 (3 weeks ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

"Hip-Hop fancy French-style porterhouse crispers with brontosaurs corn scratchers."

A Guy Fieri menu item generator from eater.com.

http://eater.com/archives/2014/07/17/guy-fieri-dish-generator.php

nickn, Saturday, 19 July 2014 18:57 (1 week ago) Permalink


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