The advertising of mobile telecommunications companies

Search, destroy, rip, rend, savage, tear, eviscerate

facebook would not let me set up a page for not becoming a fan of faux-familar consumer products

Exhibit A: BlackBerry claims dominion over love. For reasons unclear except to promote a sense of vague mass satisfaction. You can just smell the boardroom where this abomination was concocted. Worse, in the print advert, which is in several stages spread over different pages (I *hate* this), they make a reference to a DEFYINGLY SLEEK PACKAGE.

http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs037.snc3/12469_646985244590_36910239_41333753_3070575_n.jpg

i wish i was content.

which is in several stages spread over different pages (I *hate* this), they make a reference to a DEFYINGLY SLEEK PACKAGE.

I hate this, too. b/c everyone knows it's not the size of the sleek pacakge

Exhibit B: there are no words. Except 'entitled cunts on an imbecilic Fresher's Week binge'. And 'oh fuck you McAvoy'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8tWLEsLpxs

does defyingly even make sense in this context?

everyone thought packages should be lumpy, but NOT US

uhhh

lj when you get older you'll learn pacakage sometimes are lumpy

packages

there was this cell phone store across the street from one of the places i work that sells a variety of phones, and it had an awning with logos of the various brands it sold. They must not have hired highly competent labor to do this, because for over a year, the Verizon portion said, "Can you hear me know?"

i once dropped the grand piano owned by he-who-set-up-vodafone. it makes me feel contented in the face of this bullshit.

Exhibit C: T-Mobile

http://community.brandrepublic.com/blogs/samconniff/IMG00306.jpg

Josh (for that is his name) is now forming a superband. Yes, really. I have awesome visions of some Tenth Circle cacophony, with poor ickle Josh unable to stop summoning more tone-deaf wannabes to his eternal rehearsal of the damned.

otoh, he could be the next Glenn Branca.

Exhibit D: 3Mobile decide that as BlackBerry have claimed Love as their own, Samsung have claimed irresponsibility, T-Mobile have claimed idiotic mass group activities and O2 have claimed shitty impersonal white-elephant music arenas, they might go for...freedom!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1u_s-UWH7w

next week, Vodafone decide to identify themselves with the Almighty

http://htc-phones.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/htc-you-ad-campaign.jpg

this is on a billboard across the street from my practice space

the ad campaign began with the word "YOU" in the style of graffiti, so everyone who saw it would raptly speculate what it would be tranformed into an ad for.

Exhibit E: Y phone U. Why phone you? I mean, you are a terrible cunt with a terrible phone after all. At least you are quietly brilliant. We'd never have suspected a thing if you hadn't told us.

LOL xps yeah that image.

yeah I mean if it's a shitty pandering 'conceptual' campaign, odds-on it's a fucking phone company

xp - uh, that was my joke. you told my joke.

The joke belongs to us all now. All of us. Everything belongs to all of us. It is shared. Shared together. In harmony.

fuck you, that was my goddamn joke!!!!

Peace and happiness and FREEDOM and LOVE. With the new Nokia whatshisface.

I'm not going to tell you anything anymore!!! Thief!

(I acknowledged it was your joke in an earlier thread! I'm just collecting 'em all here. I'd have given you the credit anyway!)

it was fucking heavy and my grandad the removals man was an old frail man, so it fell down a few steps. we hid it in the corner of his room, he never noticed the giant dent or the weird creaking noise it made and paid up fine. his wife even made me a cup of tea.

and for 3 years after my sis stopped working at vodafone headquarters i was still on the roll as someone whos phonebill they should subsidise. only took me off it in feb.

phone adverts can be cuntish, i got mine out of them.

I can't believe you stole my joke.

You didn't even wait two minutes before telling my joke.

I didn't take your jokes.

Look for fuck's sake you could have told it anyway, I was gonna be all 'yeah and sarahel first spotted that Y PHONE U thing', and HERE: http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=1108005&boardid=77&threadid=76291

i was going to, but you told it before i had a chance to come up with the best way of telling it!

Maybe mine was the best way!

mine would have been better.

Look at us! We're meant to be fighting a common cause but we're fighting each other! We're doing EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT US TO DO!

no, we're not doing what they want us to do -- we're having this argument without mobile phones.

haha true

this is all very depressing to me. that joke was one of the few bright spots in my currently bleak existence, and you deprived me of my bright spot.

I started the thread! I created the platform for that joke to be unleahed. I could have not done that, and the joke would never even have been heard. At least ILX now knows the joke, and furthermore knows that it is yours.

why dont u go fone harold bishop then?

even my cheating soon-to-be-exboyfriend would have immediately given me credit for my joke.

the other day i thought i lost my cell but it turns out i left in my inside jacket pocket which i found out by having my friend call me on my cell and me stalking my apartment trying to catch the sound of the heavy buzz it makes as it vibrates

i think this is a good idea for an ad of some kind

the least you could do is publicly apologize.

maybe in the form of a mobile phone advert

i would accept that.

will see what i can do

you owe me!!!!

jesus just stfu

<3

;_;

[||:::]

http://i37.tinypic.com/16m17a.jpg

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha you couldn't make it up :D

http://i36.tinypic.com/24w7x1d.jpg

oh wait lol maybe you could

awesome

anyway, being entirely serious here, these are unconscionable

Mobile phone adverts remind me of the first time I saw a Sunny Delight ad in this country - no longer available apparently since being regraded as an industrial cleaning fluid. Anyhoo, there's the advert with this kid going in his mate's fridge and saying, in the most stilted child actorly way possible, "SUNNY D! COOL! I WILL HAVE TO CONSUME ONE OF THESE COOL DRINKS IF I WANT TO BE COOL LIKE THE COOL KIDS IN MY SCHOOL WHO ARE COOL" And I remember thinking 'jesus not even 7 year-olds are gonna fall for this shite'. But I was wrong, y'see. So now when I see a mobile phone ad trying to instil a fake sense of community and cool thru the medium of running up vast unpayable lakes of debt in the space of a couple of months and listening to terrible fucking music I don't think 'jesus not even the most bell-end-brained 16 year-old in the world is gonna fall for this shit' because I work with these bell-end-brained monsters, whose genetic code was fucked on Sunny D and is now being dissolved in a 16 tins a day Relentless habit, so fuck 'em they deserve every last inch of corporate eye-shafting they're gonna take for the rest of their lives.

At least Relentless has a specialised aesthetic. These bastards are going for the universal in the crassest manner imaginable.

http://www.rhube.com/wp-content/mytouch.JPG

^^ an ad very similar to this was in the window of a cell phone store in San Francisco, adjacent to Good Vibrations - contextually, you could interpret this as mobile phone = masturbatory aid

http://i561.photobucket.com/albums/ss51/tr_fudge/t-mobile_mytouch_3g_celebrity_adver.jpg

jordan those are his real legs look upon them

whose real legs, bendy thinlegs giantchest man, or crumpledlegs mcstumpy?

pls have national identity in an ad with rly bad song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuKpJv0PlSE

The logistics of the o2 gimp's plan to start a superband confuse me

This decade really made it OK for men to have curly hair and wear cardigans, huh

For me, it's not the outfit that is offensive, shit but not offensive. It's the total look of amazement that he could text all of his musician buddies, and they'd all come rushing over to start a great new band.. but only if his mobile provider gave him free texts for life. Just so annoying.

I know this isn't the kind of thing to be seen saying on ILX, but drownedinsound OTM:

if i had free texts for life and limited myself to texting "wanna form a superband?" to the 20+ musicians i have the numbers of, that would be rather a waste of what would amount to about £2-3 worth of texts

let me get this straight: you need free texts for life before you can afford to text a load of musicians to start a band. how are you going to afford all the equipment, practice room booking and other costs associated with being in a band? i don't realy think you've thought this through

He's in a local band but I've never bothered to see them despite having been told a few times that they are the best local band since like ever, which is generally a pretty good way of making me not at all bothered about seeing a band.

Exhibit IIIJJJ: http://www.ilxor.com/ILX/ThreadSelectedControllerServlet?showall=true&bookmarkedmessageid=1123449&boardid=77&threadid=65343

^ 324,311 people are fans of Verizon

it will bring them ROMANCE in the same way that 3 brought us FREEDOM and Samsung brought us PARTIES

waiting for a cell phone to bring us HEALTH

holy motherfucking hell

Life B.B. (Before Blackberry)

http://i45.tinypic.com/2hnwd4x.jpg

I think the largest text says "the universal is personal"

The guys wearing the cell phone billboards on their backs asked if I was taking pictures. I said yes. They asked if I worked for T-Mobile (they have a store across the street, these walking billboard guys are from AT&T). I said no. They said it was okay to take their picture.

'aim your fruit here'

i actually went a few blocks out of my way to take this picture.

my dumb short-story is actually happening

Precisely!

This is dramatisation. Please do not imitate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiITXFVBy-o

those "Why Phone You" ads are everywhere - bus shelters, billboards, everywhere.

thanks to the crossover masculinity marketing thread...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLDxv9ohH2s&feature=player_embedded

i think this actually pushes every single button i possess

this is NOT ILTMI!!!!

lol I was just skimming a paper on this the other day

http://www.umsl.edu/~mjanson/myarticles/D__SIGPHL02-1364.pdf

there is no way that vodaphone dude hanging himself ad plays anywhere in america

http://broccolicity.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/iphone20costume203-dog.jpg

http://www.textually.org/textually/archives/images/set3/ipod_dogcostume.jpg

http://www.ikeepadiary.com/diary/2007/2007_10_27.Halloween_2007/images/IMG_2459.jpg

Whiney you are a genius!

http://i31.tinypic.com/24ebdhc.jpg

We brought this upon ourselves.

it's true - we're giving them ideas itt

maybe we should come up with really outlandish ideas and see if they get implemented?

like a campaign that involves an inflatable ass that clenches and unclenches to demonstrate the sliding mechanism of the sliding phone - you know, for all your booty call needs?

wait so do people really refer to their phones as "cellies"?!!!

anyone going to MWC this year think it's actually going to take place?

https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/7/21127891/ericsson-mobile-world-congress-coronavirus-mwc-conference