Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"can you believe that this asshole's been tailgating us for five million light years?"

people used to say it to each other when i was a kid and i had no idea wtf they were talking about. i assumed it had something to do with doing it
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S)

"You said this was a shortcut."

"Dip, don't dazzle"

^^^ was gonna do something like that but figured it was UK-centric :D

"can you believe that this asshole's been tailgating us for five million light years?"

― michael nyman cat (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, April 18, 2012 1:06 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think this is the best one so far

^ yeah, was gonna say

"These donks are getting more outlandish every year. What are those, 56s?"

"Just keep driving, we'll be fine once we hit the Arizona border"

"slow ride! duh-nuht nuh-nuh na-nuht! take it EA-ZY! duh-nuht nuh-nuh na-nuht!"

^second favorite

"I just can't understand why the state keeps giving them licences"

"so apparently they don't LIKE being identified"

"I wish tractor beams had a low setting."

or the easy new yorkery one:
"for god's sake Margaret, just let them pass!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/04/30/p465/120430_contest_p465.jpg

"I don't know anyone called Marco!"

"I"m sorry honey, he has droit du seigneur."

"i TOLD you to wait an hour"

"but you're the one who wanted to see titanic in super 3d"

"But I thought you said you were ok with trying out my manga porn fantasy"

high early standard on this one, DJP and forks in particular

yeah you should submit that dan

"put your mother down NOW"

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"

"Eh...too blonde. 6."

"I"m sorry honey, he has droit du seigneur."

― I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Thursday, April 26, 2012 9:49 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"i TOLD you to wait an hour"

― "in this super-sexy postracial age" (forksclovetofu), Thursday, April 26, 2012 9:52 AM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^can't choose. both perfect

"honey, you know i left my glasses in the car. help with what?"

"just relax, it's more scared of you than you are of it"

"christ, what an octopus"

"Don't worry, it's a vegatarian!"

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/05/14/p465/120514_contest_p465.jpg

"MI6 actually"

"I'm attempting to circumvent the ridiculous luggage restrictions imposed by this airline!!!!!!"

"Get off my case"

"Well I don't care if Bill Murray could 'make it work', I feel like an idiot"

"It's not my fault you had the venti instead of the grande."

"What do you mean 'except' the kitchen sink?"

"Damn, I think I forgot my toothbrush"

"Oh god, my toothbrush just went straight up my asshole"

"Robodude 9000 feels no pain.... no pain...."

"wearing sunglasses on a plane, how obnoxious."

technically i'm a human suitcase, but i wear many hats

lto

"my therapist told me to externalize my emotional baggage"

there's a "keep calm and carry on" joke in here somewhere but i can't get at it

I really especially hate this one.

"Customs is a bitch but check out is a snap."

yes, this picture is not funny

xp

tracer otm

this one demands the words accentuate, not guide the image because the cartoon is self-actualizing ("I'm attempting to circumvent the ridiculous luggage restrictions imposed by this airline!!!!!!") and is not only not funny but doesn't really reward deeper thought.
so you kinda got to make it quiddy i think.