Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

# Bio I don't care what you think of me. You care what I think of you. Of course this is a parody account.

smh but this is still pretty much on par for the DM

"Sorry...

The page you have requested does not exist or is no longer available."

( http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2010/06/mail-publishes-article-based-on-spoof.html )

Oh my:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2010/Jun/Week4/15655741.jpg

but at least we would have a decent footy team too

"football and beer much superior" - Littlejohn should be renamed "Maquis Cha-Cha".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1300120/Big-homes-nice-cars-luxury-holidays--friends-don-t-know-Britains-new-MIDDLE-CLASS-POOR.html

HUMDINGER.

For many articles I write, I earn no more than £250 and often struggle to make £500 a week — just over what my rent is.
But, superficially, my habits remain the same: I go to parties, eat at restaurants when my friends invite me, and pray they don’t ask me to go Dutch.

earning sympathy just because daughter is so adorable in pic, but i mean seriously stfu forever

Amazing. I did not know people had to live like this. Thank God we've got a government who is going to chuck thousands of people out of council housing so they have to rent from people like this.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1335550/Merry-Christmas-Along-millions-middle-class-families-I-afford-one.html

Five years ago, I earned £1,200 a week from my work as a TV and film producer and would have thought nothing of spending £45 on a pot of gold-lidded lusciously scented body cream as a Christmas present for a distant cousin... These days, I am lucky if I earn £500 a week as a writer.

...

My mother spent hours wrapping presents, turning even a mundane gift into an enticing, beribboned box worthy of one of the Three Kings.

Following in her footsteps, I used to buy ribbons from VV Rouleaux — now their price of £50 for velvet and silk ribbons seems truly shocking. Obscene, even. So I was thrilled to spot a six-pack of gold twine at Tesco for £2, and I’m hoping that will do the trick.

That article's been linked to on another thread. Fucking boils my piss.

the mail really knows how to get web-hits

Like the amazing photo credit on the photo accompanying this sad tale: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1336141/Rhiya-Malin-2-died-heart-attack-getting-head-stuck-window.html

you mean (c) internet? they're doing that a lot (at least as much as i can stand to look at their site, which is not much).

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/8971/lolqa.png

do i click y/n

today's front cover is a treat.

xp - oh, you should click...

As he slopes around the world from interview to press conference, vanity drips from him like grease from a ­fatted calf roasting on the great spit of hubris.

people who write for the daily mail are generally awful writers, as well as generally awful people y/n?

We both know one person who works showbiz shifts for them and she's 100 per cent awesome. Manages to do the job without badmouthing women or getting into politics of envy in her copy.

Oh, one of my old editors from the Times writes showbiz for 'em too and he's 100% good people - I mean the type who write the hateful political tripe, who manage to combine moral scummery with a truly immoral abuse of the english language.

Best name ever for a blackmailer!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1337568/Woman-blackmailed-billionaire-3m-threatening-tell-wife-pregnant.html

xp - oh, you should click...

As he slopes around the world from interview to press conference, vanity drips from him like grease from a ­fatted calf roasting on the great spit of hubris.

― specifically, the word talking (Ned Trifle II), Friday, 10 December 2010 10:27 (Yesterday)

lol

Mail invents Australian state

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351585/Stephen-Green-rails-immorality-voice-Christian-Britan-private-wife-beater-says-partner.html

kinda unexpected? mail goes IN rather effectively on that terrible cunt stephen green - exposing him as a domestic abuser...

As recently as the 14th January the D M was using quotes from Mr Green to support the Christian agenda. Has his number been removed from your speed dial list, in preference to somebody more credible?

- Anne, West Midlands, 29/1/2011 11:54

Oof. Burn, Daily Mail.

good grief, what a hateful individual, as well.

I hope that got 'liked' a lot.

ha

http://onethingwell.org/post/3483841300/churnalism

it's not very good: http://churnalism.com/rkkqs/#1ksp1

"Mr Spendley, an amateur rock musician, wowed pupils with the toy ‘lightsaber’ he kept in his classroom as a symbol of his contempt for authority."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1367723/Teacher-Mark-Spendley-confronted-ex-pupils-claim-seduced-them.html

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/04/09/article-0-0B8EF1CB00000578-734_306x319.jpg

Even more amazing:

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2011/Apr/Week2/15969526.jpg

surely that is a shop???

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Nw4pZg3f-xs/SvFo8pPxU_I/AAAAAAAAB4o/LmzFzoya2Mw/s400/md.jpg

Reggie Moondogg. DM couldn't make it up, it's too good.

speculative thread for The official Royal Wedding guest list?

Ex lovers! Cue outrage about this, plus pictures, biographies and listings of them all (you couldn't make up a name like Isabella Anstruther-Gough-Calthorpe )

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/article-1375329/Royal-wedding-Official-guest-list-revealed-Kate-Middleton-asks-2-ex-loves.html

What this basically reveals, Waity Katey in pursuit of her dream has no friends. If in a guest list of 1900 odd, the bride can only scare up a handful of girls, it speaks volumes about her. It looks like most of 'their' friends are in fact William's, but then that is not knew since we all know she keeps quiet, at the ready for him and whatever /whomever he likes, she likes. Cannot trust this girl.

- Julie, London, 10/4/2011 9:30

I bet Julie made school fun.

what are the chances of sneaking through some kind of Early Day Motion making it legal to assassinate anyone who actually calls her 'Waity Katey'

if someone said that out loud, wouldn't everyone hear Weighty Katey?

Seriously, I know you don't like giving them clicks but this is too great to miss...

What kind of Britain will William and Catherine rule? Dominic Sandbrook imagines the country they will inherit

Be sure to read the comments!

A small number read a newspaper called the Guardian, now long defunct.

already comedy gold.

Elections come and go. So do Prime Ministers, from Cooper and her husband Ed Balls to Britain’s first Asian premier, Sadiq Khan. But beneath the headlines and the tittle-tattle, little of substance ever changes.

lol yeah because no foreign trade, no cars and a wind turbine on every house is little of substance

ok damn china just happened.

"Britain’s first Asian premier, Sadiq Khan" - think this unlikely exaggeration made for the purposes of humour is the most telling.

Doubt that they will rule. Cameron is taking the first steps to change and eventually destroy the monarchy. Bliar and Brown handed over the ruling of the UK to the EU. And in such a corrupt and unelected institution there is no place for a UK monarchy . Just as the EU is destroying nations, monarchies will follow.
- norman hall, norwich england EUSSR ruled, 2/5/2011 8:28

Anyone know what these "first steps" are supposed to be?

Dealing with Liberals innit.

in such a corrupt and unelected institution there is no place for a UK monarchy

norwich is ruled by the EUSSR? what is delia playing at?