Why I love the Daily Mail, as distilled into one story.

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'Those people who moan about you driving around in your nice big car are forgetting the guy who washes the car now hasn't got a job or who did the maintenance on it.'

Referring to herself in the third person, she added: 'There is no way Anthea Turner can complain about anything in her life.'

lol smacked off her tits

Glans Christian Christian christian Christian Andersen (MPx4A), Monday, 15 December 2008 16:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

I really tried hard to feel some sympathy for her and not fall into the trap the DM sets which is - haha look at this oik who thought she was better than us - but it's soooooooooo difficult.

Holden McGroin (Ned Trifle II), Monday, 15 December 2008 16:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

Referring to oneself in the third person - confirmation of encroaching insanity.

Should have stayed with Pidda Powell innit?

Brother Belcher (Marcello Carlin), Monday, 15 December 2008 16:25 (5 years ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

Reporter BETH HALE on the great bulb hunt: 'Yes I found some... but it wasn't light work'

The boy with the Arab money (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 12:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

So when is print journalism finally going up the spout? I can't fuckin' wait.

ledge, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 12:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

Thanks for that, Ledge. FYTP.

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 12:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

sorry mate :(

ledge, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 12:51 (5 years ago) Permalink

Wtf is there to love about a lightbulb? Edison loyalists far more numerous than we were led to believe?

more private than a bar stool (Upt0eleven), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 12:56 (5 years ago) Permalink

Ach, sorry for over-reacting, Ledge. It does piss me off massively that the last remnants of print journalism in the UK are probably going to be the fucking Mail and the Sun -- and I'd be the first to admit that we (ie print hacks in general) are paying a heavy price for decades upon decades of arrogance/overstaffing/intransigence etc.

But I'd also argue that the death of print journalism -- journalism led by "news", even if that news is invariably biased -- is simply going to lead to shit like this lightbulb nonsense becoming even more prevalent. It's not so much about the print media as it is about journalistic values; or, rather, having organisations with the resources to investigate stories properly and the desire to actually do so. Once that's gone, and all that's left are the rumps of former media empires, churning out shit like the above, and a few well-meaning bloggers wondering who to leech off now ... well, I really can't see who wins.

(Also: gah, driving up the Mail's hit count with our clickety-clicking ain't helping.)

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

How do we go about lobbying Brussels to ban the Daily Mail?

Yehudi Menudo (NickB), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

271 comments!

Not me I'm the Emotional Type (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

The Mail website is pretty awesome though. I spend more time on it than any other after The Guardian's. it's usually the site with the best pictures available online, scattered large through the story. The sections work well, and have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages.

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

You're getting such a doing next time I'm in work ;)

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages

Also: what the fuck for? Free extra-energy-burning lightbulbs? The miserable woman's guide to a thinner, bitchier 2009? 10 things you never knew about house prices?

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:08 (5 years ago) Permalink

Have a look at the celebrity section. So much to read!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/index.html

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

Changing my display name to "beloved lightbulb".

Neil S, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

xp
read

Not me I'm the Emotional Type (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

Actually, look at this sad Richard O'Sullivan story for an example. All those juicy Femail stories boxed down the right!

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

Beloved lightbulb (Neil S), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

The Mail website is pretty awesome though. I spend more time on it than any other after The Guardian's. it's usually the site with the best pictures available online, scattered large through the story. The sections work well, and have really good puffs alongside the right that can keep me hanging around the site for ages.

― Alba, Wednesday, January 7, 2009 2:06 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism.

DANCE MUSIC STUCK AT RECOMBINANT PLATEAU (special guest stars mark bronson), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oops - I linked to the wrong story.

Here's the Richard O'Sullivan one

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:18 (5 years ago) Permalink

Actor gets old. Let's take a close look at his wrinkly old face. Wot a loser!

Not me I'm the Emotional Type (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

But yeah, that was the first one I clicked on as well...

Not me I'm the Emotional Type (Ned Trifle II), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

All those juicy Femail stories boxed down the right!

Royal! Man has shave.
Nostalgia! Man grows older; looks different.
Diet! Ex-EastEnder has new publicist.
Tits! Also with Big Brother link (This is good, keep it up - Ed)
Stating the fucking obvious! Man with cancer "not exactly doing a song and dance about it"
Baby! Man and woman have child.
Beckhams! Man and woman still exist.
Rooneys! Man and woman who had more money than you still have more money than you.

You know, I don't think I've felt this depressed in my life. I'm off to devote my life to charity.

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:26 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm off to devote my life to charity

Still working for the Herald then?

Billy Dods, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 13:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

I'm off to devote my life to charity

And watching Celebrity Big Brother ...

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

Richard O'Sullivan is only 64! It's hardly that old.

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

lol i thought it was a myth that people in the all 'respect' the mail for its vaunted professionalism

Uh...

Matt DC, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

in the print meeja

DANCE MUSIC STUCK AT RECOMBINANT PLATEAU (special guest stars mark bronson), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

or just newspaper biz

DANCE MUSIC STUCK AT RECOMBINANT PLATEAU (special guest stars mark bronson), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

the mail print a story about richard o'sullivan's decay every year, i am sure about it

the first Woman Tuomas (stevie), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

I LIVE HERE IN THE UNITED STATES. I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT THE CLOSING CREDITS OF THREE'S COMPANY WHERE IT SAYS "BASED ON MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE". SO I DECIDED TO LOOK IT UP ON THE COMPUTOR NOT ONLY THAT I PURCHASED ALL THE EPISODES TO MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE. THE SHOW IS REALLY FUNNY AND EVEN WATCHING IT OVER AND OVER I NEVER STOP LAUGHING. FOR A FUNNY SHOW LIKE MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE, I THINK THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE RAN A COUPLE OF MORE YEARS BACK THEN. THE SHOW MAN ABOUT THE HOUSE ENDED TOO SOON FOR ME.

Posted by: CARLOS RIOS | July 13, 2008 06:45 PM

the first Woman Tuomas (stevie), Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

Quite right. I wonder if Mr Rios had Richard O'Sullivan Google Alerts set up.

Alba, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:17 (5 years ago) Permalink

"alert: Richard O'Sullivan looks five minutes older than he did five minutes ago"

snoball, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

I thought he was top class in "Dick Turpin" BTW...

snoball, Wednesday, 7 January 2009 14:22 (5 years ago) Permalink

<a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1109722/Men-dont-curvy-women-attractive-father-children-autism.html";>Men who don't find curvy women attractive 'could father children with autism'</a>

o_0

lex pretend, Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:34 (5 years ago) Permalink

or whatever the ht stupid ml is

lex pretend, Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:35 (5 years ago) Permalink

Umm. As far as the reporting of such things goes, that ain't bad. No, it doesn't explain how the experiment was controlled, whether the findings were statistically significant, etc -- but when was the last time you saw a newspaper article that did? I fear your problems might well be with the nature of the research than with the Mail's reporting of it, Lex. Me: I'm going to reserve judgement until such time as I've read the article in the JADD (which I might actually do -- it's an area of vague interest to me, that. I could even try to work it into an essay I've written but not yet handed in, but ... no.)

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:42 (5 years ago) Permalink

i haven't read the story, it was the headline which caught my eye and made it go o_0

lex pretend, Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:43 (5 years ago) Permalink

it seems like...not even the worst kind of health-related fearmongering, because it's too out-there for that

lex pretend, Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:44 (5 years ago) Permalink

In the sidebar: "End of the hourglass: Career women usher in a straighter female form. The classic hourglass figure made famous by Sophia Loren and Marilyn Monroe appears to have had its day."

ledge, Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:45 (5 years ago) Permalink

(I mean: as a hack by trade and psychology student by choice, I've just spent a whole day ploughing through research articles and the one thing I can say is that even a 20-page report can miss out salient facts. So although there are myriad holes in that Mail piece, in terms of crunching down a piece of research into a couple of hundred non-academic words, it's pretty fucking good. If it turns out to be misrepresenting the study completely, of course, I shall stand corrected.)

xpost

it seems like...not even the worst kind of health-related fearmongering, because it's too out-there for that

Dude, read the fucking article then. It is based on a piece of potentially valid research.

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Thursday, 8 January 2009 16:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

Researchers showed 100 men with autistic children pictures of curvy women, women with athletic frames and more rounded women and found that they do not have a preference on which figure they find more attractive.

The new research from the University of Bath suggests that fathers of autistic children do not share the preference of men across the world for the curvier woman.

this really does seem quite o_O tho

Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

So headline should read:

Men who prefer non-curvy women might be fathers to autistic children.

Mark G, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

"My son has autism, I'm afraid I cannot look at curves with pleasure anymore"

Mark G, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

this really does seem quite o_O tho

Yes, welcome to experimental psychology.

Men who prefer non-curvy women might be fathers to autistic children

Hah, no: they showed no preference for any figure. "Men who don't conform to arguable global norm for what heterosexual males find attractive" is a bit unwieldy for a headline, though.

What's there isn't an elegant headline, either, I agree. I can see why they chose it, though.

Special topics: Disco, The Common Market (grimly fiendish), Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

AutiDads love Posh More.

there. Fixed.

Mark G, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:23 (5 years ago) Permalink

millmeister, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 11:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

glad that guy's here to mansplain things

Neil S, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 11:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

JOHN WHARTON, A Hell Of His Own Making

the husbster (self-professed octopus expert) (stevie), Wednesday, 21 August 2013 11:52 (1 year ago) Permalink

10/1 on that's a cambridge undergraduate being "funny"

caek, Wednesday, 21 August 2013 16:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Saturday, 24 August 2013 00:23 (1 year ago) Permalink

the arpeggio as will and idea (Noodle Vague), Monday, 26 August 2013 11:46 (1 year ago) Permalink

I mean, I symapathise with the woman who got mauled obviously, but isn't this sort of what you would expect would happen when you're offered the chance to pet a Tiger?

platonic beanie (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

The University College London student wants to warn others of the dangers of approaching the orphaned tigers, which are hand-reared by Buddhist monks at the controversial sanctuary.

Who needs warning about this?

platonic beanie (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

University College London students it would seem

Tommy McTommy (Tom D.), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:31 (1 year ago) Permalink

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bf3e2acc56/katt-williams-tigers

all the youtubes of this are blocked :(

many a slip 'twixt Yow and Yip (DJ Mencap), Saturday, 31 August 2013 09:38 (1 year ago) Permalink

i'm sure the Mail's coverage wd be the same if this was some 40-something grizzled hippy dude

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 10:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

srsly tho, i love the underlying "I was on holiday, what could possibly be dangerous?" vibe to stories like this

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 10:03 (1 year ago) Permalink

Can't get over the way she basically says 'at first I was worried that petting a tiger might be dangerous, but then the people who were making money by getting people to pet the tigers said it was totally safe, so I thought it must be OK'.

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

And then goes on to detail how she was surprised when the tiger attacked her because she had followed all of the instructions the staff gave her about not wearing bright colours that could freak out the tigers, only touching the tigers in a certain way, not wearing any dangling jewellery etc, and none these instructions lead her to wonder if the tigers were maybe not as safe as the staff were making out.

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:15 (1 year ago) Permalink

I feel bad laughing about stuff like this though, because I do equally stupid stuff approx once every 3 hours, but the stupid stuff I do doesn't involve tigers so is generally less high stakes.

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:18 (1 year ago) Permalink

i wd happily laugh at myself and expect others to join in if i got mauled by a tiger at the tiger petting monastery

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:21 (1 year ago) Permalink

My brother had one of those Darwin Awards books, but I can't look at stuff like that, it makes me cringe so much. I'm pretty sure it's only the fact I hardly ever leave the house that has saved me from dying in one of these kind of incidents 100 times over.
When people laugh at stuff like the Darwin Awards do you think it is some kind of laughter of relief, like people know it could have been them and are glad it wasn't, or is it a more straight-forward 'lol, look at these morons who are dumber than me and dead' type thing?

One good song and every is like 'Ooh Robin Thicke'... (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:27 (1 year ago) Permalink

This is a particularly brilliant/awful example:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garry_Hoy

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:30 (1 year ago) Permalink

the Garry Hoy is so amazingly fucked up and horrible that for years i wanted to believe it was just an urban myth. tbh i have no worries that i'd ever do stupid shit of that ilk.

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:32 (1 year ago) Permalink

The fact he was correct the glass wouldn't break, but the whole window came lose from the frame is what pushes it to next level horrible/haunting, I think. Sounds so much like something from a sitcom or movie.
I think I find this kind of stuff troubling because it's all vaguely reminiscent of embarrassing moments from my past, but only with someone literally dying at the end rather than just being humiliated. It's like reliving some dreadful memory in a nightmare, but your brain turns your social death into literal death.

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:37 (1 year ago) Permalink

horribly sure i've said this before - i have an idea for a short story about a support group for the families of people whose deaths are so stupid that they never elicit sympathy for the bereaved

RAWK of Agger's (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:40 (1 year ago) Permalink

Feel bad for the loved ones of that Tory MP who wanked himself to death ('wanked himself to death' copyright Frank Dobson, 1995)

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

'Tory MP wanks himself to death whilst wearing women's lingerie' is such a perfect story, it 'fits' so well that any of that guys own unique, individual hopes/dreams/pain/idiosyncrasies are just steamrollered aside by this concept.

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:44 (1 year ago) Permalink

Sunday Times editor Andrew Neil described Milligan: "He possessed an enquiring, original intelligence, a wide knowledge of foreign and domestic affairs and he was great fun to work with, his infectious laugh filling our editorial meetings, where he played a major role in defining the paper's policy positions".[4]

Human rights my "backside"!!!! (Eight Model Play), Saturday, 31 August 2013 11:46 (1 year ago) Permalink

2 weeks pass...

Lama Bloody SwagYurt (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Monday, 16 September 2013 22:14 (1 year ago) Permalink

That's alright, I'm sure the rational and fair voice of the UK public in the comments section will set the Mail straight on this kind of 'Jack-Journalism' (my coinage for patriotic white-washing of news in our favourite fash-friendly non-tabloid. Pretty clever wordsmithery by my, eh?)

I have gathered no gaudy flowers of speech in other men's gardens (dowd), Monday, 16 September 2013 23:42 (1 year ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

That Manchester United are ready to offer Adnan Januzaj a pay rise which would amount to 290 per cent, on the back of one Premier League match, may seem crazy.

It may also explain one reason why many young players in the modern game who hit the heights early don’t fulfil their potential because they have achieved financial security by the age of 20.

But even within the mad finances of football, there is economic logic to United being prepared to raise the 18-year-old’s pay from its current trainee £1,000-a-week level to around £30,000 a week.

fake irish times letters mac d (nakhchivan), Sunday, 13 October 2013 00:25 (1 year ago) Permalink

England is the only developed country producing school leavers who are worse at maths and reading than their grandparents, according to a damning report.

The study found 16 to 24-year-olds are among the least literate and numerate in the world, lagging behind those in countries including Estonia, Poland and the Slovak Republic.

England came 22nd out of 24 countries for the reading skills of its young people and 21st for maths, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

fake irish times letters mac d (nakhchivan), Sunday, 13 October 2013 00:26 (1 year ago) Permalink

lmao

caek, Sunday, 13 October 2013 16:41 (1 year ago) Permalink

haaaa

imago, Sunday, 13 October 2013 17:00 (1 year ago) Permalink

even those fucken polak savages

imago, Sunday, 13 October 2013 17:01 (1 year ago) Permalink

(xps) Now that's what I call mental arithmetic...

not a lunch that is hot (snoball), Sunday, 13 October 2013 17:02 (1 year ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

MOST WATCHED NEWS VIDEOS

White supremacist shocked by DNA heritage
GRAPHIC: Russian man nails testicles to Red Square in...
CCTV: Moments after Canadian ballerina plunges to her death

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Tuesday, 12 November 2013 14:00 (11 months ago) Permalink

England is the only developed country producing school leavers who are worse at maths and reading than their grandparents, according to a damning report.

The study found 16 to 24-year-olds are among the least literate and numerate in the world, lagging behind those in countries including Estonia, Poland and the Slovak Republic.

England came 22nd out of 24 countries for the reading skills of its young people and 21st for maths, according to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development.

Generally speaking, that's pretty poor English.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Tuesday, 12 November 2013 14:03 (11 months ago) Permalink

3 months pass...

j., Thursday, 20 February 2014 02:43 (8 months ago) Permalink

poll

I am a 'music' fan. Revolutionary, isn't it? (onimo), Thursday, 20 February 2014 10:58 (8 months ago) Permalink

you are clinically deaf and should sell you iPod (stevie), Thursday, 20 February 2014 10:59 (8 months ago) Permalink

2 months pass...

The Daily Mail, however, was not a fan of the desk [on the new ITV breakfast show "Good Morning Britain"], complaining it hid Reid's legs from view.

"Later on the show, however, Susanna moved from behind the desk, giving viewers the chance to catch a glimpse of her enviable pins," it reported.

Mark G, Monday, 28 April 2014 15:41 (6 months ago) Permalink

looking forward to the Mail's "Upskirt Corner" page

you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Monday, 28 April 2014 15:57 (6 months ago) Permalink

Pupil Jacob Hill, 16, from Leeds, said: 'He had gone through stages of depression and used to be on anti-depressants.'

16-year-old Matthew Calvert, also of Leeds, was in many of the same lessons as the alleged attacker and described him as 'strange'.

Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Monday, 28 April 2014 21:39 (6 months ago) Permalink

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/04/28/article-2614929-1D6C83B400000578-607_634x634.jpg

Aerial view: A 15-year-old male pupil has been arrested after a female teacher was stabbed to death this morning at Corpus Christi Catholic College (pictured) in Leeds

Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Monday, 28 April 2014 21:47 (6 months ago) Permalink

Rewitten version for 'clarity', apparently it's not them it's ...

Regarding the launch day, complaints from viewers on Monday focused on the fact that Susanna's now famous legs - whose pay for the role is £400,000 a year - double that of her former BBC salary - were hidden from view.

One viewer commented: 'Why has ITV paid so much for @susannareid100 only to put her behind a desk? Its like buying a Ferrari and keeping it in the garage #gmb.'

Another wrote: 'You don't hire Susanna Reid and then stick her behind a desk #getyourpinsout #GoodMorningBritain.'

Mark G, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:42 (6 months ago) Permalink

a great night in

you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:47 (6 months ago) Permalink

1 month passes...
2 months pass...

An ex-soldier has been handed a suspended sentence for racially aggravated threatening behaviour towards an amputee gipsy busker who bragged on national TV about 'milking the benefits system'.
Viorel Dinu, 25, told Channel 5's Gypsies on Benefits and Proud he and other Romanians had come to the UK because it was a 'soft touch' for scroungers, a court heard.
But his boasts caught up with him when former soldier Mark Hawksby, 34, recognised him from the programme after tripping over the busker's money-filled coat on a street in York.

a puddle of quivering 501s (soref), Friday, 5 September 2014 21:57 (1 month ago) Permalink


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