Because Ned requested it
― Ed, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:10 (2 years ago) Permalink
Ned voted for Boris? I KNEW IT
― blueski, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
Fucking foreigners.
― Dom Passantino, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
Not only that, I went around each ward voting as many times as possible. JUST TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!
I feel such a fool now...
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:14 (2 years ago) Permalink
It's been sunnier, but I had a nightmare trip to Camberwell on Saturday. So 50/50 so far.
― Pete W, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
Banning booze on public transport: anti-Polish discrimination?
― Neil S, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:16 (2 years ago) Permalink
shouldn't be drinking that anyway
― blueski, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
lol good point!
― Neil S, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:19 (2 years ago) Permalink
Chelsea now official gun capital of London on Boris' watch.
On ITV's exciting Flood drama David Suchet said that "we'll have to sacrifice Camberwell" is this a coincidence I think NOT!
― Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 12:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
"we'll have to sacrifice Camberwell Now - I've got their album on my iPod anyway"
― Tom D., Wednesday, 7 May 2008 13:13 (2 years ago) Permalink
I note how the 'no bouze on my Tube' posters are an angry finger-wagging blue rather than the gentle pastel 'Mayor of LondON' things we've become used to. Perhaps that's because Boris had 5minutes to do it in MSPaint in between induction sessions, though.
― Matt DC, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 13:33 (2 years ago) Permalink
Can I do my 'Paul Merton asks "Is it the woman on the left saying 'I don't care if they ban the booze, but I wish they'd ban those idiots getting in the way of the barriers'?"' joke now?
― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 14:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
Johnson is saying "So, this is what a tube station is? How jolly."
I notice that the police already had powers to deal with drunks... "Most of the time, just letting people know that their behaviour is no longer permitted will be enough to make them stop, but if they become antisocial or aggressive they will be dealt with under current legislation and bylaws." ...so why make extra hassle?
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 16:43 (2 years ago) Permalink
Boris is saying "So, run this by me again, you pay for...what did you call it...a ticket? And then what? You go through there...right...and where are the porters?"
― Ned Trifle II, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 16:45 (2 years ago) Permalink
Would be fucking great if somebody shot the cunt.
― Venga, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 22:58 (2 years ago) Permalink
bad things: ban them. If they already banned, ban them again.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 7 May 2008 23:10 (2 years ago) Permalink
I notice that the RMT and ASLEF are annoyed that he didn't consult them first on booze ban. I suppose they're hardly his constituency anyway so probably doesn't give a fuck. All part of his new Hard Man act a la Giuliani (and Bloomberg) or perhaps he has a "Thatcher vs the miners" moment in mind.
― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 8 May 2008 08:25 (2 years ago) Permalink
He's planning to negotiate a no-strike agreement with Tube workers. Good luck with that!
― Neil S, Thursday, 8 May 2008 09:12 (2 years ago) Permalink
You'll still be able to drink (and buy booze, if there's a trolley) on National Rail services (including London Overground) and on the boats.
I noticed the 'new Routemaster' got a brief mention on the local BBC news this morning, although there doesn't seem to be any actual development. The designers apparently reckon it 'could' be built and sold for a price of about £200,000. Whether that includes the costs of setting up a new production line or not I don't know.
― Bocken Social Scene, Thursday, 8 May 2008 09:23 (2 years ago) Permalink
I'm entering the competition for the new Routemaster with this:
― Matt DC, Thursday, 8 May 2008 09:39 (2 years ago) Permalink
That idea might fly (sorry)
― Neil S, Thursday, 8 May 2008 09:44 (2 years ago) Permalink
OMG Bob Crow says:
"We are in favour of any measure that will make our members' lives safer and curb anti-social behaviour, but it appears that this really hasn't been thought through very well and could well make matters worse. We are being told that it will be our members who will have to approach people drinking and ask them to stop - but the mayor hasn't asked us what we think.
"Perhaps the mayor will come out with his underpants on over his trousers like Superman one Saturday to show us how it should be done, and maybe tell a crowd of Liverpool supporters that they can't drink on the train."
― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:11 (2 years ago) Permalink
Looking good for those negotiations then!
― Neil S, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:20 (2 years ago) Permalink
Tube FAP?
― Upt0eleven, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:23 (2 years ago) Permalink
Well we all know what Boris thinks about Liverpool so he'll probably put up armed border posts at Staples Corner.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
Tube FAP has to happen: tribute to the days of Circle Line carriage raves.
― suzy, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:29 (2 years ago) Permalink
You have to dress like that famous photo w/ Cameron, Boris et al (you know the one)
― Mark G, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:35 (2 years ago) Permalink
cold_dead_hands.xls
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:38 (2 years ago) Permalink
This one you mean:
... that's Boris in the middle
― Tom D., Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:39 (2 years ago) Permalink
I probably wouldn't mind the Bullingdon Club photos if they dressed as well as the Brideshead gang did.
― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:41 (2 years ago) Permalink
I apologise for not running them over with my Dulux Super Qualcast hover mower when I had the chance.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 8 May 2008 10:44 (2 years ago) Permalink
I noticed the 'new Routemaster' got a brief mention on the local BBC news this morning
this is nuts. here's why:
1. a transport company wouldn't reintroduce conductors as it would almost double its labour costs in one fell swoop - commercial suicide.
2. no bus company outside London would be interested in buying the bus. No-one was interested in buying the old Routemaster either actually. The only company that operated Routemasters during their years of production was Northern General - and they only bought 50.
3. The Routemaster falls foul of both health and safety and anti-disabled discrimination laws by having an open platform at the back with no facility for "kneeling" or the provision of a wheelchair lift. You could build them with doors rather than an open platform (in fact the Northern General version mentioned upcomment had doors, as did some of the Country Area e.g.s but - well, what would be the point? The bus's main USP: ease of getting on and off and hence reduced journey times - would be removed.
4. It is utterly impractical to construct a jig-built integral (ie not just a chassis to which different bodies can be attached as is the case with most buses, but all-in-one by one manufacturer) bus with a half-cab (ie with the engine next to the driver and a passenger window beside. To do so would cost millions and no manufacturer would be able to make the figures add up. The situation is analogous to the VW Beetle. It would cost millions to restart production of the old Beetle and it would be a huge lossmaker for VW, so VW made a new Beetle which was vaguely the same shape but built on the Golf platform so not really a Beetle at all.
seeing as the new bus would not fulfil the criteria cited above, in what way would it be a Routemaster? Answer: it wouldn't. And, given that a new Routemaster can't be built, is there any point in building another new type of bus rather than continuing to purchase the many fine models manufactured by Dennis, Volvo, Scania, Mercedes etc? Answer: there isn't.
― Grandpont Genie, Thursday, 8 May 2008 11:39 (2 years ago) Permalink
Yep, all going swimmingly for Boris so far
― Tom D., Thursday, 8 May 2008 11:44 (2 years ago) Permalink
Quite. This is as far as the design's gone anyway: http://www.capoco.co.uk/capoco-routemaster-study.html (Capoco are only designers, rather than an actual manufacturer) - Beetle analogy is spot-on.
Bus operators in London are currently forbidden to buy Volvos, because they're too noisy.
― Bocken Social Scene, Thursday, 8 May 2008 11:46 (2 years ago) Permalink
I find your second sentence highly improbable, Bocken.
― Grandpont Genie, Thursday, 8 May 2008 11:48 (2 years ago) Permalink
The Private Eye before last asserts that the new Routemasters he's proposing are potentially bigger killers than the bendy buses because of the new design's long wheelbase.
― James Mitchell, Thursday, 8 May 2008 11:52 (2 years ago) Permalink
It's true! (sort of). There's a problem with the cooling fans which meant they were on all the time and actually quite loud, and I think TfL put an embargo on new orders for them while it was being looked into, although it seems to have been lifted now.
In other Boris news: Homes for Votes chap in as senior planning advisor
― Bocken Social Scene, Thursday, 8 May 2008 11:57 (2 years ago) Permalink
Grandpoint and Bocken sound like my dear departed dad who loved the routemasters (and would scoff unbearably if I mistook an RT for one (see for instance this so-called routemaster illustrating this article.... My dad would have been the bloke making the last couple of comments)but who recognised that they were gone and it was just sentimental old tosh to bring them back. There are plenty of good modern buses (not necessarily bendy ones) but of course BJ is not doing this for practical reasons, he only needs a few subsidised ones trudling around central London and then he can point at them and say "I Deliver!".
― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:02 (2 years ago) Permalink
The Private Eye before last asserts that the new Routemasters he's proposing are potentially bigger killers than the bendy buses because of the new design's long wheelbase
er, yeh, but there's a pretty damning letter in the current one saying "get one understanding of articulation" -- and it's that two-part swing that seems to be the major problen with bendy buses and cyclists.
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:05 (2 years ago) Permalink
(whatever the solution is, though: it ain't fucking routemasters.)
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:06 (2 years ago) Permalink
You don't know what you might catch!
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
Boris shares late night meetings with gay man shockah.
Haha, yeah, re: grimly point - getting bus nerds to agree on anything is impossible. I've been there, it gets ugly. They are worse than trainspotters (although usually, for some reason, better dressed).
― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:09 (2 years ago) Permalink
the solution is to roll out the pay *before* you enter rather than *as* you enter system across the whole of the Capital and to further increase the pricing differential between Oyster and cash fares to the point when cash fares became a farcical rip off. If I had been Mayor I would also put more Oyster checking devices (the things with the yellow disks, whatever they are called) in each bus, making them almost as numerous as the stop buttons maybe, so there was no obligation to swipe it as you got on the bus. That way you could actually get rid of the bendies and replace them with normal double deck buses. This would also necessitate employing more ticket inspectors to ensure people didn't ride for free, but their salaries could be paid for by the savings you could make by not having the cash counting and accounting systems needed for each driver returning to the garage with his or her cash fare money. I would also increase the penalty fines for travelling without a ticket or swiped Oyster.
I daresay Ken would have done this (or similar) had he remained Mayor. Ken's main error, apart from some of his dodgy appointments, was to rejoin the Labour Party. If he had remained as an Independent he would have not been tarred with the same brush as the Brown govt and would most likely have swept to a deserved and resounding victory last Thursday.
― Grandpont Genie, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:18 (2 years ago) Permalink
it's more the fear of getting your knob stuck in the exhaust pipe.
― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:26 (2 years ago) Permalink
Apparently, however, the oft-heard call of "time for a change" was a heartfelt public reaction to the inflexibility of non-Routemaster buses in terms of EXACT MONEY ONLY.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:28 (2 years ago) Permalink
Apparently a potential Labour candidate for the mayorship in 2012 is...
Dave Rowntree.
Well done Labour.
― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:28 (2 years ago) Permalink
Matt Willis must be quaking.
― Dingbod Kesterson, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:29 (2 years ago) Permalink
Drummer Out of Gay Dad vs. Gay Drummer Out of Blur
― Tom D., Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:30 (2 years ago) Permalink
... It's So On
― Tom D., Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
oooh! aren't we boastful?
― Ed, Thursday, 8 May 2008 12:31 (2 years ago) Permalink
I'm guessing it's not about changing the Tube stations themselves, just going from
to something more like
and making a huge typographical mess out of the whole thing.
― James Mitchell, Sunday, 14 February 2010 11:43 (6 months ago) Permalink
TfL themselves have also indicated they have no plans to replace their iconic branding and were happy to go on record on the issue:
The Mayor's office is seeking to develop a new brand for London which could be extended to the GLA family including TfL. This work is at an early stage but no changes are planned to the London Underground and TfL family of roundels or the New Johnston typeface used on station signage.
from http://londonreconnections.blogspot.com/2010/02/typographical-chinese-whispers.html
He could've done this at the same time as colouring in all the red 'ON's in London, surely.
― useless chamber, Sunday, 14 February 2010 19:08 (6 months ago) Permalink
Oh God. That and HolBORN. (First time I saw something similar was the downright weird DerbYES!)
It's not a good look - should go with how things are said rather'n written I think.
― 'virgin' should be 'wizard' (GamalielRatsey), Sunday, 14 February 2010 21:43 (6 months ago) Permalink
Boris intends "to keep blapping ministers between the eyes".
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 February 2010 16:10 (6 months ago) Permalink
jesus
― epic board man (history mayne), Friday, 26 February 2010 16:11 (6 months ago) Permalink
Maybe Jacqui Smith's husband can watch...
― Matt DC, Friday, 26 February 2010 16:21 (6 months ago) Permalink
mablapropism
― MPx4A, Friday, 26 February 2010 16:27 (6 months ago) Permalink
happy blapping
― quiz show flat-track bully (darraghmac), Friday, 26 February 2010 16:28 (6 months ago) Permalink
sharting is next.
― Mark G, Friday, 26 February 2010 17:40 (6 months ago) Permalink
Johnson is guilty of blapsploitation
― Neil S, Friday, 26 February 2010 17:43 (6 months ago) Permalink
We are looking for someone to play BORIS JOHNSON in KNIGHT ON A BIKE,a new 15 minute musical written by one of the students on the MA inMusical Theatre at Goldsmiths College. The show is based on the trueevent of Boris saving a woman he saw being mugged by two teenagers.The musical is a quirky romantic comedy in which most of Boris' linesare taken from things the real person has actually said!All performers need to be good movers, on the ball and should have aninterest in contributing to the development of this new piece.AUDITIONS: Auditions will be held on Thursday 18TH MARCH at Goldsmiths College, University of London.REHEARSALS: Fri 19th-Thurs 25th March (times to be arranged).PERFORMANCE: The performance will take place on Thurs 25th March atGoldsmiths College.
All performers need to be good movers, on the ball and should have aninterest in contributing to the development of this new piece.
AUDITIONS: Auditions will be held on Thursday 18TH MARCH at Goldsmiths College, University of London.
REHEARSALS: Fri 19th-Thurs 25th March (times to be arranged).
PERFORMANCE: The performance will take place on Thurs 25th March atGoldsmiths College.
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 16 March 2010 09:59 (5 months ago) Permalink
I think Boris Should go for it.
― the pity party of tiny feet (onimo), Tuesday, 16 March 2010 10:06 (5 months ago) Permalink
Another Boris Johnson appointment ends well
― James Mitchell, Friday, 19 March 2010 09:46 (5 months ago) Permalink
always said Goldsmiths should be bombed
― MPx4A, Friday, 19 March 2010 09:59 (5 months ago) Permalink
^^^ totally otm
― lipster grifter (history mayne), Friday, 19 March 2010 10:01 (5 months ago) Permalink
guess this is kind of a london thread
ENJOY THIS LONDON
― egregious apostrophising (schlump), Wednesday, 31 March 2010 16:54 (5 months ago) Permalink
anish kapoor is a lamentable hack
― nakhchivan, Wednesday, 31 March 2010 17:11 (5 months ago) Permalink
Fuck getting planning permission, yeah?
― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 31 March 2010 20:06 (5 months ago) Permalink
£19.1m, bargain!
― not_goodwin, Wednesday, 31 March 2010 20:24 (5 months ago) Permalink
Informed by AM that Australia has a soft spot for London's ever-unpredictable, larger-than-life mayor, he replied: "Australia loves me? G'day Australia!""Can I just say hello to all my cousins, Mark and Paul and James and Stephen and Jenny Lynne and everybody else."
"Can I just say hello to all my cousins, Mark and Paul and James and Stephen and Jenny Lynne and everybody else."
No way, get fucked, fuck off.
― all the pure blonde you could drink (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 1 April 2010 22:24 (5 months ago) Permalink
whoa. did boris... just do... something... right?
http://waugh.standard.co.uk/2010/05/breaking-news-boris-collapses-the-tube-ppp.html
― joe, Friday, 7 May 2010 20:33 (3 months ago) Permalink
It was on its last legs, a good day to bury bad news.
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Friday, 7 May 2010 20:41 (3 months ago) Permalink
it's good news, though!
― joe, Friday, 7 May 2010 20:43 (3 months ago) Permalink
Cringe.. Boris is actually doing a good job..
― mmmm, Friday, 7 May 2010 21:58 (3 months ago) Permalink
not for a tory party in favour of keeping public services going by paying for them on the never never (like labour)
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Saturday, 8 May 2010 11:47 (3 months ago) Permalink
I am suspicious. The only way Boris could possibly do something good is by accident.
― 3-D Whinge-ometer (Masonic Boom), Saturday, 8 May 2010 12:10 (3 months ago) Permalink
but then, he is accident-prone.
― لوووووووووووووووووووول (lex pretend), Saturday, 8 May 2010 12:11 (3 months ago) Permalink
Even a stopped clock shows the right time twice a day.
― he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves (snoball), Saturday, 8 May 2010 12:17 (3 months ago) Permalink
I'm about to say something really really wrong:
(Boris's little brother is actually kinda hott)
I will now go and flagellate myself with a copy of the Guardian. I'm so sorry.
― 3-D Whinge-ometer (Masonic Boom), Saturday, 8 May 2010 12:22 (3 months ago) Permalink
Thanks for that, Boris.
― ketchup scam (useless chamber), Monday, 17 May 2010 10:25 (3 months ago) Permalink
loooooooooool
― coalition to me (acoleuthic), Monday, 17 May 2010 10:27 (3 months ago) Permalink
idgi
― all i wanna do is poll poll poll poll and zing and discuss mia (history mayne), Monday, 17 May 2010 10:28 (3 months ago) Permalink
was more laughing at British conservatism regarding what buses should look like and how Boris has tweaked it because hey look at this! SPACE-AGE
― coalition to me (acoleuthic), Monday, 17 May 2010 10:32 (3 months ago) Permalink
“I expect to have hundreds five of these on London's roads, and for cities around the globe to be beside themselves with envy for our stunning red emblem of 21st century London.”
― James Mitchell, Monday, 17 May 2010 10:36 (3 months ago) Permalink
I think the 2 staircases should be elevators to enable diabled people to go upstairs.or at least one of them.Also useful for people carrying shopping.
― James Mitchell, Monday, 17 May 2010 10:40 (3 months ago) Permalink
Re: Boris getting rid of the last bit of the Tube PPP, it was pretty much inevitable wasn't it?
― The Clegg Effect (Tracer Hand), Monday, 17 May 2010 10:55 (3 months ago) Permalink
It was on the cards for at least 9 months, I think both the tories and labour were keen to see it slip into purdah, no one looks good on that one. Brown should definitely carry that can for that one.
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 17 May 2010 11:50 (3 months ago) Permalink
― James Mitchell, Monday, 17 May 2010 22:22 (3 months ago) Permalink
http://www.techeye.net/internet/mayor-of-london-promises-full-wi-fi-coverage-by-2012
― koogs, Friday, 21 May 2010 12:54 (3 months ago) Permalink
totally forgot about this
― this skit is ba-na-nas (onimo), Friday, 21 May 2010 12:58 (3 months ago) Permalink
London mayor Boris Johnson is scrapping the usual London Pride mayoral reception.The mayor usually holds a reception to mark London's biggest gay festival but City Hall has decided to end receptions which are specific to minority groups.
The mayor usually holds a reception to mark London's biggest gay festival but City Hall has decided to end receptions which are specific to minority groups.
― James Mitchell, Wednesday, 2 June 2010 17:00 (3 months ago) Permalink
lol boris:
― James Mitchell, Thursday, 3 June 2010 17:27 (3 months ago) Permalink
hmm
http://twitter.com/DMiliband/status/15418180781
Tories just sneaked out they're abolishing the position of Minister for London.2 minutes ago via txt
― this skit is ba-na-nas (onimo), Friday, 4 June 2010 14:15 (2 months ago) Permalink
Is that the same as "Mayor" ?
― Mark G, Friday, 4 June 2010 16:24 (2 months ago) Permalink
More of an interface (interference?) between govt and the mayor - meaning imo Boris has told Dave to stay the fuck out of his business.
― this skit is ba-na-nas (onimo), Friday, 4 June 2010 23:39 (2 months ago) Permalink
Boris is 'a quivering jelly of indecision' on the question of 'Olympic vuvuzelas': http://www.itv.com/news/boris-johnson-ar-dilemma48311/
― James Mitchell, Thursday, 17 June 2010 06:32 (2 months ago) Permalink
― James Mitchell, Thursday, 17 June 2010 08:54 (2 months ago) Permalink
takemethereboris.co.uk, which goes live today, features an interactive map of landmarks such as the Tower of London and St Paul's Cathedral, which link to short clips of the Mayor as a black-cab driver picking up a customer at each spot.
― James Mitchell, Friday, 18 June 2010 09:23 (2 months ago) Permalink
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2010/07/15/boris-johnson-the-socialite-and-her-very-angry-lover-115875-22413560/
― James Mitchell, Thursday, 15 July 2010 10:41 (1 month ago) Permalink
Saw Boris in a Bloomsbury pub a couple of years ago stroking the hand of a young intern. Complete philanderer, amazed he gets away with it.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 15 July 2010 10:47 (1 month ago) Permalink