people that YELP are scumbags

why did you think you needed to write a useless three star review of a chinese restaurant in the character of a malfunctioning robot???

The Pitchfork'idization of online food reviews.

can't even quantify how primal my anger is at that fuckin comment max posted

destroy anyone who talks any kind of shit at all about roscoe's imo

scumbags gotta eat

I wrote my first yelp review (a complainy one) today, but only because the customer service I had from somewhere was so incredibly bad I thought people needed to know. Their only other review was poor as well. Of course the owner wrote me about five minutes after it went up to complain to me about it, and I was like, "you're certainly faster to respond to negative online reviews than you are responding to the multiple emails I sent you over the past three months about the status of my shit".

dude there are probably other places you can just go to if you want cheese fries so bad

yes, but it was a place I sent my camera for repair, so it was a bit different.

sending your camera in for repair at a cheese fries place was probably your first mistake

people that REPAIR cameras are scumbags

The barkeep took my order. I opted for the first thing on the menu - three eggs, sausage, potatoes, toast.

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Basted."

"What? Pasted? You mean scrambled?"

"Nope. Basted. Up and done. Sunny side up. Whites done, yolks runny."

"What was that you called 'em?"

"Basted. B-A-S-T-E-D. Some cooks use a little water and a small lid. Others splash grease. Basted. Steamed. Like that."

"I'll tell the chef."

He paid attention to me. I like that.

Brunch at Cheryl's includes a Bloody Mary and coffee. The drink was robust - aromatic celery, black (I think) pepper, horseradishy heat, big on the booze, three nice green olives skewered and spanned rim to rim. Great coffee, too.

I sipped the drink. I slurped the coffee.

And I sipped.

And I slurped.

Sip.

Slurp.

Sip.

Slurp.

Barkeep asked, "Your order come out?"

"Nope."

"I'll check." He ducked into the kitchen, came right back. "Order's on it's way, sir. Would you like another drink? No? You sure? It's on me."

I had other things to do that day besides pass out, topple over and fart.

"No thanks. I'm fine."

He apologized again for the delay. But I didn't mind. Really. Well, maybe a little. But not enough to do anything about it.

Two minutes later he apologized again.

A half-minute after that someone slid the plate in front of me. My eyes got big. 'Oh,' I thought. 'This'll do!'

Nothing satisfies like a traditional American breakfast, that's what I say, and I had satisfaction promised and plated right there before me. Although the egg whites weren't completely set - just a little albumen snot left uncongealed - I pushed off thoughts of Salmonella and dug right in.

The eggs: Rich orange yolk. Needed a little salt, though. Pepper would've been nice, too - damn near essential, I think - but all I saw was shaker stuff. I dumped a little into my palm, whiffed. Yup, that's what I figured: Ground so long ago its peppery pungency had passed. Oh, well.

jesus

people that REPAIR cameras are scumbags

― Alex in SF, Thursday, September 17, 2009 4:49 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark

Not true. When I get my Lynx 14 repaired I'm going to be so grateful to tiny Japanese dude in Georgia who did it.

Unless, you know, you're telling a joke.

whiney post could rightly be polled

someone wants to be writing a hard-boiled detective novel eh?

it's like the beautiful eastern european small boobs wife thank you how delicious guy of yelp

Whiney post must be a joke.

nah dude
http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=8SFMInrsguCSuaznnqI0PQ

"0 Friends"

and his first review did not indicate what was to come:

"Great food, generous portions, inattentive waitstaff."

They seem to be getting longer and longer.

his el greco diner one is grate

http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/v226/761/1/n293700085_1991.jpg

http://static1.px.yelp.com/static/20091022/i/new/ico/stars/stars_map.png

lol that didn't work right

yelp party photos are pretty hilarious imo

i meant to post something here a couple weeks ago and now i can't find it. not even sure it was actually yelp.

someone wrote on a review of an ethiopian restaurant "i thought i would like this because i have had nigerian food and really enjoyed it." lol :(

sounds like yelp to me : /

After repeatedly telling friends I didn't want to celebrate my birthday... I crawled out from under my rock and met them out for an impromptu drink anyway. Liquid Kitty and bartender Damien... thanks for getting celebrations off to a merciless start. The low lighting, loud music, vintage porn, friendly bartenders and drink specials...

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday extreme specials:

$3 Low Lifes = well shot and PBR
$5 medium cocktails... what ever that means
$2 PBR

- friendly locals bar
- metered street parking free after 6pm
- great specials, strong drinks
- wide range of specialty cocktails
- dark bar... did I mention loud?
- there's a back table available for a group of 15 or so
- bar was at 70% capacity on a Tuesday night, with 2 booths or so left. Start here then move else where.

Well, 27 better show me something .... or I will destroy it. Wait. What...

I need 4 advils... stat.

Was this review …?

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what ever that means

jesus christ

http://valleywag.gawker.com/5397344/yelp%20fight-participant-i-was-trying-to-apologize

Has there already been a Yelp-centered Law & Order episode?

fwiw that lady just spent 3 days jail on 5150 watch. she is 1000% cuckoo, she used to have a bookstore in west portal that i went to once... seriously bonkers.

Has there already been a Yelp-centered Law & Order episode?

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, November 5, 2009 3:20 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark

kind of! but it was like yelp+4chan+redstate. +schizophrenia iirc

i feel like at this point most people i know have written a review or two on yelp, usually along the lines of, "This place had pretty good food, I recommend it. Parking sucks, though." i think the intolerable ones are the ones whose lives revolve around the site.

i use yelp all the time to be totally honest its just that i become filled with a seething hatred for the human race every time

i think the site is 98% normal folks using it and 2% awful human beings getting all culty about it.

*casually using it

i dunno man like two-thirds of the reviews clock in at like three paragraphs which doesnt scream "casual use" to me

someone reviewed a lake.

i guess i was thinking about people who use it as a guide but don't actually write any reviews.

Echo Park Lake
4 star rating
based on 57 reviews

reviewing lakes is funny to me

someone reviewed a grave

i'm going to start yelping my bus rides

― Mr. Que, Friday, March 13, 2009 9:00 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

never did this

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=smRRcUJeSnlwXc7k1JB6Kw

can i yelp my own house?

Salut

Categories: French, American (New)
3 star rating
11/4/2009
I live a few blocks from here and have only been a few times in 2 years. The main reason I don't like going back? The D-bag bartender who takes his role of "French" restaurant employee a little to much to heart. I went to France this summer for vacation and only ran into one server that equaled this pretentious bastard.

The food is good, and their specials are almost always convincing enough to get you to leave the menu for the greener pastures of the daily creation (short ribs were fantastic). This was also the first place I've ever had raw oysters and I continue to eat them today. They were great.

But that bartender. I get kinda angry just seeing him behind the bar when I bypass it for the restaurant. If you ever go, you'll know who he is by how he actively ignores all but the most attractive of the Edina cougar set. Lose him, and I'd give this place another star in a heartbeat.

If that bartender should ever happen to read this, dude, be less douche-y. You know who you are.

fwiw that lady just spent 3 days jail on 5150 watch. she is 1000% cuckoo, she used to have a bookstore in west portal that i went to once... seriously bonkers.

― ♪♫(●̲̲̅̅̅̅=̲̲̅̅̅̅●̲̅̅)♪♫ (Steve Shasta), Thursday, November 5, 2009 10:29 AM Bookmark Suggest Ban

no shit, the bookstore that was by Radioshack? I used to hang out there before it closed...

everything about this is insane

The Burger Place

Category: American (Traditional)
4 star rating
11/3/2009
Good burgers for a good price. They have a large menu of specialty burgers and it's a quick lunch with tasty food. Everyone is friendly and the place is always busy at lunch.

http://www.yelp.com/user_details?userid=ebC_pH92K4uxyDenoXb5bg

The Corner Office Restaurant and Martini Bar

Categories: Bars, American (New)
Neighborhoods: Northwest, CBD
2 star rating
10/16/2009
We went here for drinks before dinner, and it was OK. I can't find a drink menu online (Flash isn't working), so bear with me on the drink descriptions.

My friend recommended the Pimm's, but they were out of cucumber. I chose a pear-champagne cocktail, which was syrupy sweet and not shaken/cold enough for my taste. It was hard to finish. Others ranged from my level of satisfaction (Red Bull / Orange SKYY was also too sweet) to actually satisfied (straight whiskey) with their drinks. At $9 a pop, I expected a bit more - more fanfare, more quality liquor (mine was made with SKYY), better taste.

protip, if you don't want something sweet, don't get a) pear-champagne cocktail or b) red bull and orange vodka.