How Do You Find Out If Someone Is in the Hospital or Dead?

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I suppose this is going to sound melodramatic, but a friend of mine has been unresponsive to mail and phone and isn't even answering his work phone, for about a week now. He just bought his first motorcycle (1.2L), and I'm a little paranoid that he succumbed to the temptation to open it up in SF Bay area traffic or do something as stupid.

I suppose I could call his work, but is there a better way of obtaining this sort of information? It's too soon for an obit, I think.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:21 (7 years ago) Permalink

I don't think there's anything wrong with calling his workplace and saying you've been trying to reach him and you're concerned... calling mutual friends or family as well? Don't be alarmist or anything, just "I haven't heard from him for a while, any idea what's up?"

Will M., Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:32 (7 years ago) Permalink

why the hell wouldnt you call his workplace, if youre worried about him? i dont really get what better way there could be, or why that could be the wrong thing to do.

deeznuts, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

His workplace is a pretty huge company, and navigating the phone tree to get to a secretary or whatever is something I can do, but only after other options have been exhausted. I have talked to other friends of his, but nobody has heard from him. Don't have any family numbers or info, tho.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:36 (7 years ago) Permalink

I guess what I'm saying is that if I call up their general info line -- a national information number -- which is the only other # I have besides his direct line, then I'm not sure what I can ask for besides, "the secretary that serves the offices one of which is Mr. So-and-So". I don't think that'd be so effective.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

You can try calling the local hospitals that are trauma centers, but there's so little information they can give out now about patients, due to the HIPPA regulations - I'm not sure they can even tell you if a specific person has been admitted.

Jaq, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:39 (7 years ago) Permalink

Actually, I might be able to go downtown and figure out which building he works in, walk up, and ask. (xp)

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

But what if his work doesn't even know?

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:40 (7 years ago) Permalink

I was messaged through Facebook the other day from someone I went to school with. Apparently an old schoolfriend, who I had known since I was five years old and whose family had at one point been very close to mine, died in a motorcycle accident on Sunday. We had been friends through most of school but during the final years he'd actually become a bane in my life and would torment me and get people to pick on me and stuff. There were times when I wished he would have died back then, and I'm not sure if he were to be alive today he'd be that different towards me. Still he died, so it goes, and it feels very strange, especially since he is the first person from my peer/age group that I have known to die. So we didn't get on so well, but it's still a tragedy and it's hard to know how to feel about it.

the next grozart, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:41 (7 years ago) Permalink

If something has happened to him, and his work knows about it, they might have changed his voicemail to direct you to someone else in the interim. Have you been by his place to see if he's maybe gone on vacation or something?

Jaq, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:43 (7 years ago) Permalink

For all I know, my friend's phone broke and he's been vacationing in Yosemite for the past week. Ugh.

XP: No answer at his apartment.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:44 (7 years ago) Permalink

Please note: umm, if you call someone else at his workplace to ask after him, don't start in saying you're all "concerned," which will make him sound like a flake or addict or mental case or other at-risk person -- just say you haven't been able to get in touch with him, and you're wondering if he's been in!

nabisco, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:48 (7 years ago) Permalink

Or, just act like a normal business contact - "I've been trying to reach Mr. x, he hasn't returned my call, is he out of town?"

Jaq, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:52 (7 years ago) Permalink

He is totally flaky, which makes me feel all the more foolish for worrying about him, but I wouldn't let on to his work that I'm concerned. I wish I'd bothered to get his girlfriend's phone #. (xp)

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:55 (7 years ago) Permalink

a little early to be moving on his territory dude.

s1ocki, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

: - O

Just got offed, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:56 (7 years ago) Permalink

Ow.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 18:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

im really sorry about that. i couldn't help myself. really sorry.

s1ocki, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:00 (7 years ago) Permalink

S'OK. I just hope the next laugh's on me when he calls up to tell me he's been making homemade pornos all week.

libcrypt, Thursday, 1 November 2007 19:02 (7 years ago) Permalink

you should totally call his workplace

Heave Ho, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:31 (7 years ago) Permalink

After you get his job, you can work on his apartment and his girl.

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

(oh that's the exact same joke as s1ocki, oops)

HI DERE, Thursday, 1 November 2007 20:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

How do you find out if a friend who joined the military 5-6 years ago is dead?

Abbott, Friday, 2 November 2007 00:22 (7 years ago) Permalink

every branch has a different locator service I think, actually

El Tomboto, Friday, 2 November 2007 00:58 (7 years ago) Permalink

that reminds me I need to call up the NPRC and get my DD-214 I think, I don't know where it is

El Tomboto, Friday, 2 November 2007 00:59 (7 years ago) Permalink

I have it

max, Friday, 2 November 2007 02:13 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh fucking fuck. Jesus. Maybe I didn't need to know.

Abbott, Friday, 2 November 2007 02:19 (7 years ago) Permalink

:-/

Just got offed, Friday, 2 November 2007 02:37 (7 years ago) Permalink

Oh dear.

Tuomas, Friday, 2 November 2007 15:28 (7 years ago) Permalink

Abbott?

Michael White, Friday, 2 November 2007 15:33 (7 years ago) Permalink

:(

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 2 November 2007 15:49 (7 years ago) Permalink

That reminds me, a kid I used to know on a messageboard got hit by a truck and died like 3 blocks from my house last month :(

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 2 November 2007 15:49 (7 years ago) Permalink


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