Are you a Benny tied to a tree?

Multiple references to Joey Deacon.

whaddafuckayatalkinbout?

poofssaywhat

Is this an obscure Crossroads reference?

I'd never heard the Benny tied to a tree thing until Carsmile Steve explained it to me. Maybe it wasn't a thing in Scotland.

(explanation for Tom D :

Kid A: Are you a Benny tied to a tree?
Kid B: (is never going to say yes, is he?) No
Kid A: Aaarrrgghhh, Benny on the loose! )

Yes, but is it an obscure Crossroads reference?

DID YOU WATCH SPASTICS SAY NO LAST NIGHT

A couple of years ago I hosted a pub quiz and I asked the question "if you're not a benny tied to a tree, what are you?" and ended up having to withdraw the question because so many people refused to believe it was a real thing.

I am therefore much relieved to see this thread.

haha 'benny'

A quick google tells me that benny is short for bender (I think I sort of remember this being the case)

there would always be several seats in each classroom with I AM GAY written on the back

Are you sure about that? (xp)

http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/846/cr116oo.jpg

Yeah, there's that too, which just adds to the fact that benny is just a funny word anyway.

fact = my opinion, obviously, not a real fact

at my school it was "are you a bummer tied to a tree?"

one timeless classic was to tell somebody that if their hand was bigger than their face, they had aids (aids was in the press a lot at the time)
if they were particularly stupid, they'd hold their hand up to their face, and you could push it into their nose. que "stop hitting yourself" style hilarity.

http://amphetamines.com/benzedrine.jpg

aids was in the press a lot at the time

god, yeah, another thing was to ask "what does AIDS stand for?" and before someone had the chance to reply "Acquired immunodedeficiency syndrome" answer "asshole injected death sentence". Kids be horrible.

Ailsa I think your opinion can be taken as fact.

Anyone who's opinion is that "benny" isn't funny is wrong. Fact.

i remember someone getting bollocked for calling another kid hiv positive.

"do you know what that means? eh? do you? this is very serious, young man!"

there was a phase in the first year of secondary school were bondage references were the cool new insult, "bondage freak" was quite a popular choice along with anything to with being whipped. late night channel 4 sex documentaries have a lot to answer for.

I'm fairly sure the Benny thing was a reference to Crossroads' Benny.

Knock yourselves out: http://www.playgroundlaw.com/

there was also "what does GAY stand for?" "got AIDS yet?" and (when Rock Hudson died) "How do you get AIDS?" "Rock climbing"

presumably nowadays kids will get bollocksed far more for making homophobic comments than they did when I was at school in the eighties....

african bum cleaner

Learning your ABC?

stop hitting yourself.

Do you have HIV?
No
Are you positive?
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

ABC gum = already been chewed

why were so many playground taunts so homophobic? we had "there are 3 gays in a bed - doh, ray - who was the other one?"

also, we never had the "Joey Deacon" phenomenon at school, but when i found out about it i had to crack a smile, even though it was DISGRACEFUL. also, talk about something that wouldn't translate to today's kids.

Ah, seeing as how youse lot are all kids at home bcuz of the teechers STRIKE!---

I hope this is England only, or my lads will be wandering the streets all day.

Which makes me feel old, cos I remember the last strike affecting my A levels, and now the school where my wife teaches is shut for a day.

As for playground taunts, there was this one where you were asked "Are you ten, eleven or zero?" Obviously only worked when you were ten or eleven, so the first year of secondary school IIRC. Depending on the answer, there was some kind of demonstration using fingers of your sexual orientation. Don't ask.

xpost to onimo - not sure where you are, but Wales is striking too. Don't think Scotland is though, they have separate teaching unions up there.

I'm in Scotland.

I'd never heard the Benny tied to a tree thing until Carsmile Steve explained it to me. Maybe it wasn't a thing in Scotland.

No Ailsa, I'd never heard of it until Steve explained it either.

Of course, the correct answer to this is "Yes, I am, why?"

Which confuses the questioner completely, being an answer they hadn't expected, so they go away to think about what to say next.

Of course, next time they ask again, primed, say something ELSE and so on...

(We're not dealing with Oscar Wildes here)

"if you had a gay on your back, would you leave him there or would you pull him off?"

this is kind of option designed to leave kids well prepared for voting.

"Yes, I am, why?"

OMG SO YOU'RE A BENNY! LOL EVERYONE, MARK IS A BENNY!

One that translates well enough from Norwegian.

"Are you a homo?"
a: -"Yes" -LOLLZZZZ UR GAY ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ "
b: -"No" -"OMG UR NOT A HOMOSAPIEN UR NOT HUMAN!!! ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘ !!! "

Goddamn kids with their 90-degree arm-angles and dead stares

xpost you took 6 minutes to come up with that?

"What's a Benny, some club you want me to join with you?"

"I think, in a real sense, we are all Bennies tied to trees of our own making..."

"ooh, well if you're the tree..."

This is the number 3 Google hit for 'Benny on the loose', in case you were interested.

An achievement. Of sorts.

*smiles*

I keep hearing this jokes punchline as if it was performed by Thin Lizzy..

aw, I just made myself laugh.. Bad form.