Dear Abbott

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I will give you all yr advices. Ask and ye shall get the fuck out of it.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:32 (5 years ago) Permalink

where is that picture of you photoshopped in as a saint or whatever

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:34 (5 years ago) Permalink

how to deal with depression induced by reading your own writing?

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:35 (5 years ago) Permalink

xpost w/ rapey mo

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:35 (5 years ago) Permalink

do you ever get tired of being a broken record?

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:36 (5 years ago) Permalink

Here I am delivering sacred tests to Joseph Smith with my freakishly similar-looking buds God & Big J.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:37 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Shakey: I have come to accept my brokenness.

Dear Ethan: One can deal with this by crying, which is nice and cathartic, or developing an emotional detachment by giving yourself no expectations.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:38 (5 years ago) Permalink

im working on the latter

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

haha sorry I was talking to ethan

x-post

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

you know, I never noticed the striking family resemblance between Jesus and God before

Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:39 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott, weren't you going to make loads of $$$ by selling furry pr0n drawings on eBay at one point? What happened?

cordially,
StanM

StanM, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:40 (5 years ago) Permalink

dan lacey beat her to the punch?

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:40 (5 years ago) Permalink

in a 'did it first' sense not a passantino sense

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:40 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Mr. M,

If you think this would actually be a lucrative route, or have evidence that it is, I am so there. I did not elect to look into it. A bigger $$$ flow would certainly help feed my carrot juice addiction (not cheap).

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:41 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

My dad and his family way suck. My mom's family is totes awes. Should I change my name?

I'd be adding like 6 letters and going from Lithuanian to German.

Thanks,

Indecisive in Illinois

en i see kay, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:43 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear en et. al,

Yes, you should change your name. If you do not like it you can always change it back.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:44 (5 years ago) Permalink

Daerest Abbott,

How did my nice msg board get overrun with shut-in aspie rubes?

Gratitudes,

DG

DG, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

what is your favorite bar food?

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:46 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott, what is the sacred text and what is on your t-shirt in that picture?

xero, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear DG,

This happened via genetic drift, introducing new aspie alleles into the population.

Dear Ethan,

My favorite bar food outside the bar is gyro carts. My favorite bar food inside is these awesome sweet potato fries they have at a bar here.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:48 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear xero,

The sacred text is a book called The Guide to Getting it On!, hurhur. The shirt has a picture of a Grandma's Cookies/Abuelita hot chocolate-type bun haired old lady holding a sign that says MOTHER FUKKER'S PEANUTS.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:49 (5 years ago) Permalink

Cool.

xero, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:50 (5 years ago) Permalink

what are some of your favorite songs?

Lingbert, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

what do your parents think of mitt romney?

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:52 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Lingbert,

Some of my favorite songs include Green-Eyed Lady, the Rocky theme, the Price is Right theme, Sleepwalking, "Black" by Jag Panzer, Sisters of Mercy's "Floorshow," "Isn't She Lovely," "I Can't Go For That," + many more.

Dear Ethan,

My parents think Romney is the only good candidate and they are praying for him to win.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:55 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oh probably my favorite song is Minnie Riperton's "Adventures in Paradise."

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 19:57 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

"As is well known, the return of the beloved
does not correct
the loss of the beloved"

y/n?

s. morris, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear S.,

To the meager extent I understand that lil' free-verse triplet, y. It is a bad idea to get back with a lovah with whom you have previously severed ties. However, I feel losses in this life will seldom be directly corrected.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:02 (5 years ago) Permalink

Should I get cable TV?

brownie, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear brownie,

If you watch TV more than two hours a day, or if it costs $35/month or less, you should get cable TV.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

A.,

I should learn an instrument. Guitar or piano?

Wanko

wanko ergo sum, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:11 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

what would be a really good question to ask you?

Thanks,
StanM

StanM, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:11 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear wanko,

Learn the piano. Do not learn the guitar. Learn the piano.

Dear Stan M.,

Certainly not "have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:12 (5 years ago) Permalink

what are your five favorite rap songs?

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

Should i stay at work late today so i have more money for booze next week or leave on time and booze tonight?

carne asada, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,
Is there any kitchen use for leftover solids after getting the juice out of a carrot, or does it go into the compost bin?

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

dear abbott

where is my scooby doo valentine? i am checking the mailbox everyday, to no avail.

yours, in anticipation,
xjustine

Rubyredd, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:14 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

Should i stay at work late today so i have more money for booze next week or leave on time and booze tonight?

-- carne asada, Wednesday, October 3, 2007 4:13 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

i already know my answer to this one

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:15 (5 years ago) Permalink

Abbott, what is and what's answer to this one?

brownie, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:19 (5 years ago) Permalink

Daer Abbott

Who can make the dance ram?

blueski, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 20:21 (5 years ago) Permalink

Oh probably my favorite song is Minnie Riperton's "Adventures in Paradise."

Hey, I really love this song too! And I love the whole Adventures in Paradise album, though I think "Love and It's Glory" is even better than the titular song, it's so melodramatic and full of passion. "Come on Aliya, carry your bride, take her where the sky meets the see!" Do you like that one?

Tuomas, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 21:16 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Ethan,

I will ponder your query about my five favorite rap songs. As I am not in High Fidelity I do not have a prefab five list. Favorite right now is The Roots' "Water"...a more through reply will come soon.

Dear carne asada,

Go for the cheaper drunk tonight and have more quantity. I elected not to work extra and bought an affordable 1.75 L bottle of Evan Williams ($16), acceptable in coke and as shots followed by some other beverage (water prevents the hangovers).

Dear Mr. Hardy,

If you have a pet guinea pig, they will eat any leftover veg or veg components with glee. They are a lot cuter and more satisfying than mulch piles. However, do not feed them carrots or carrot byproducts exclusively because they are starchy and can lead to anal impactions, which are a pain for bpoth master and pet to remove.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 21:59 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear brownie,
IS = helpful was to relieve anxiety attax. This one is was not were. It will be by this time tomorrow.

DAREST Blueski,

Gance rammed by three-year-olds who are uncoordinated or Andrew W.K.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:01 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

What church are you an abbott of, and where can I subscribe to your newsletter.

HOOS

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:03 (5 years ago) Permalink

post script

happy hour alone c/d

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:04 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Mr. HOOS GRANDE,

I am a ULC reverend so I could baptize you as the church I once tried to start. It was called What Pies Regrese. It was about taking shots, we talked about Tom Sawyer's fake funeral. We also took shots (of alcohol). There was only one session. Maybe What Pies Regese needs to have a general conference .

p.s. Happy Hour alone is the best thing in the world, esp. if it is at your own house.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:05 (5 years ago) Permalink

As I am not in High Fidelity I do not have a prefab five list.

zing :(

and what, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:06 (5 years ago) Permalink

Record stores are boys' clubs, dude.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:07 (5 years ago) Permalink

dear abbott,

how many dumplings should i eat today?

bell_labs

bell_labs, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:10 (5 years ago) Permalink

Dear Ms. labs,

I think 4-7 dumplings sounds perfect.

Abbott, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 22:13 (5 years ago) Permalink

Froks,
Duly noted!

gr80ster,
When I first moved to Tucson, I lived opposite (E of) Winterhaven on Country Club – I think there is a thing when you live so close to some attraction, it makes you never want to see it. It made me a Grinch with the traffic and whatnot, esp. as a pedestrian only at the time. It also seemed, from just peeking in via Ft. Lowell, that it was not so hot compared to my hometown's stilly xmas light neighborhood, Candy Cane Lane (which did not offer hayrides). I am guessing Winterhaven is fun with some friends and a flask.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 20 December 2012 00:03 (5 months ago) Permalink

3 weeks pass...

dear abbott i heard a rumor that you have a good reading list on mao. is this true? would you share it with me?

Mordy, Wednesday, 16 January 2013 19:19 (4 months ago) Permalink

I read a lot of Maoist struggle memoirs in my day, and a whole bunch of books on Mao –– basically everything in my hometown library (NB: this is not a big brag) ––– but this was literally half of my life ago. All the titles have slipped through the memory cracks except THE OBVIOUS ONES eg Life and Death in Shanghai. I was reading some teaching guide for Red Scarf Girl and it pointed out most of the Cultural Revolution memoirs we have in English are from detractors and obv won't paint it positively. I mean that sounds dumb and obvious but you gotta consider it's one voice of one person. I mean, you know that.

Oh, typing this ––– I recall one of my favorite graphic novels of last year, A Chinese Life by Philippe Otie and Li Kunwu. You gotta read it! The art is amazing and the memoir bridges 1949-modern capitalism.

Anyway here's some Cultural Revolution list, a list, not compiled by me because the rumors aren't true: http://www.morningsun.org/library/index.html

Here's a four-hour docu I watched over xmas break (also rec'ced by that teaching guide, v informative) China: A Century of Revolution [1911 -1949] Part 1 pt 2

Hope you weren't looking for a bunch of Mao/Nixon slashfic or something because I don't know where that is!
<3 running dog of crabbitalism

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 17 January 2013 03:25 (4 months ago) Permalink

thanks! this exactly what i was hoping for!

Mordy, Thursday, 17 January 2013 03:51 (4 months ago) Permalink

abbott, it is crazy how the interview subjects in this documentary recount the most horrific things and then start giggling!

Mordy, Saturday, 19 January 2013 13:42 (4 months ago) Permalink

the graphic novel is great btw -- thanks again for the recommendation

unrelated: if i started a comic strip poll, would u participate?

Mordy, Monday, 21 January 2013 15:24 (4 months ago) Permalink

abbott, it is crazy how the interview subjects in this documentary recount the most horrific things and then start giggling!

― Mordy, Saturday, January 19, 2013 8:42 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I have experienced this in meetings and phone calls with manufacturers. The worst fucking news and then the giggling.

consistency is the owlbear of small minds (Jon Lewis), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:35 (4 months ago) Permalink

"in those days when someone disagreed we just killed them" <giggle, giggle>

Mordy, Monday, 21 January 2013 15:37 (4 months ago) Permalink

Mordy, If you mean send in a comics ballot, then, sure ––– but you have to realize the results would be biased because T.K. Ryan has some compromising photos of me.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:42 (4 months ago) Permalink

yes to ballot but also you have to chat too!

Mordy, Monday, 21 January 2013 15:45 (4 months ago) Permalink

Pfft, no then, I don't have the time.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:46 (4 months ago) Permalink

T.K. RYAN, YOU WIN AGAIN.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:47 (4 months ago) Permalink

do you foresee a moment in the future when you may have the time? i honestly would love to run that kind of poll, but it wouldn't be worth it if you didn't comment

Mordy, Monday, 21 January 2013 15:50 (4 months ago) Permalink

Over the summer, sure – late June, early July.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:51 (4 months ago) Permalink

The best comics store in town had a 50% off everything sale on Saturday and I kind of went nuts ––– best thing I got was first 3 vols of the Segar Popeye books. Sooo stoked.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:52 (4 months ago) Permalink

Tumbleweeds otm

Influential Acid Jazz Pioneer (crüt), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:52 (4 months ago) Permalink

Lockhorns have this one...locked.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:55 (4 months ago) Permalink

My wife went to a big party of elderly cartoonists at Bunny Hoest's estate on long island (Bunny has boldly carried on the Lockhorns/Howard Huge legacy after Bill's death). There are some great stories from that party.

consistency is the owlbear of small minds (Jon Lewis), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:57 (4 months ago) Permalink

!!

Influential Acid Jazz Pioneer (crüt), Monday, 21 January 2013 15:57 (4 months ago) Permalink

I would have an undue bevy of questions for Ms. Hoest.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Monday, 21 January 2013 16:00 (4 months ago) Permalink

alright crabbits - i'm penciling this in for june/july

Mordy, Monday, 21 January 2013 16:02 (4 months ago) Permalink

The 'Bunny Bash' gets held every year, maybe I'll get to go to the next one. When Karen went it was on like a Thursday afternoon and I didn't want to use a day off for it, which in hindsight was v dumb of me.

consistency is the owlbear of small minds (Jon Lewis), Monday, 21 January 2013 16:06 (4 months ago) Permalink

I would be very disappointed if a party like that have nine-foot tall blondes in its attendance.

pplains, Monday, 21 January 2013 16:11 (4 months ago) Permalink

I have always loved the square fingertips in the Lockhorns.

consistency is the owlbear of small minds (Jon Lewis), Monday, 21 January 2013 16:13 (4 months ago) Permalink

first 3 vols of the Segar Popeye books. Sooo stoked.

best strip ever

( ͡° ͜ʖ͡°) (sic), Monday, 21 January 2013 21:51 (4 months ago) Permalink

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Monday, 21 January 2013 21:56 (4 months ago) Permalink

uh, let's try that again:

(The Other) J.D. (J.D.), Monday, 21 January 2013 21:57 (4 months ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

hey babygirl jus wanna let u kno that I'm playin Earthbound for the first time in like 6 yrs and it makes me be thinkin baout one Abbott

yr babygirl,
setvie D

Yo! MTV La Tengo (Stevie D(eux)), Tuesday, 22 January 2013 15:00 (4 months ago) Permalink

Abbott,

More comics, please!

mh, Tuesday, 22 January 2013 15:03 (4 months ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott, what do you think Ness would be like if he grew up? I like to pretend he wd be like me.

Yo! MTV La Tengo (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 23 January 2013 04:31 (4 months ago) Permalink

4 weeks pass...

is it snowing?

железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 22:53 (3 months ago) Permalink

Yeah, I took the kiddos out in the snow today and they pretty much flipped out. Most had never seen it before.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:37 (3 months ago) Permalink

"MISS! LOOK! I got HIT! By a SNOWBALL! Oh my God, I can't feel my hands."

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:39 (3 months ago) Permalink

awesome

железобетонное очко (mookieproof), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 23:57 (3 months ago) Permalink

Dear Abbott,

I will be near Tucson the first week of April. I would like to meet you! Would you like to meet me?

XOXO

quincie, Thursday, 21 February 2013 02:26 (3 months ago) Permalink

*crosses fingers*

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 February 2013 04:11 (3 months ago) Permalink

Children, they're the worst.

Nhex, Thursday, 21 February 2013 04:12 (3 months ago) Permalink

Dear Quincie, Most defs yes! I like that I meet most ILXors by them drifting through AZ.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:05 (3 months ago) Permalink

I love my town. I am getting two days off work so kids in the school district can participate in rodeo festivities. I am using this rare weeknight off to go see a free showing of "Before Stonewall" at The Loft, w/the directors in person afterwards for a Q&A. Thanks rodeos.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:15 (3 months ago) Permalink

rodeos!

:C (crüt), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:18 (3 months ago) Permalink

RODEOS

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:19 (3 months ago) Permalink

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:19 (3 months ago) Permalink

<3

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:21 (3 months ago) Permalink

Here is the sign that greets the pop. 428 town where I lived from ages 7-12:

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Thursday, 21 February 2013 22:22 (3 months ago) Permalink

Yay Abbott! Yay rodeos! Does your ILX e-mail work? I'll get in touch.

SCOOTER RIDE PLEEEEEEASE???

Also my goal is to ride mucho mechanical bulls (or real ones, if available) while traveling through TX/AZ/Mexico, so if you know of any, let's DO IT.

quincie, Friday, 22 February 2013 05:44 (3 months ago) Permalink

Ha! Scooter ride YES. I hope your head is the same size as mine so you can wear my spare helmet.
I'll look into the robobull scene.

I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:24 (3 months ago) Permalink

when we make our annual pilgrimage to minnesota we always go to the state fair and at the state fair we ALWAYS go to the high school rodeo, it is so fucking classic...

Great Ecstasy of the Woodborer Steiner (Jon Lewis), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:29 (3 months ago) Permalink

Mr Veg and his friends dropped acid and went to a rodeo in Red Bluff once -- one of the bulls got out and knocked over the bleachers while they were sitting there tripping balls

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:43 (3 months ago) Permalink

Who here has witnessed the rodeo halftime freeform stylings of Mr. Tommy Turvey? (Soundtrack is urgent & key):

multi instru mentat list (Jon Lewis), Friday, 22 February 2013 17:47 (3 months ago) Permalink


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