is better than peeing while on the phone because they can't hear the moaning and splashing sound.
― CaptainLorax, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:31 (sixteen years ago) link
hang on you moan whilst peeing
― Just got offed, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link
it is a sex pee
its like a sigh of relief
― CaptainLorax, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link
best thread ever
― Mr. Que, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link
I suppose peeing is similar to sex in that they both offer relief
― CaptainLorax, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:33 (sixteen years ago) link
I gotta go, later UNGHGHGHGHH
― CaptainLorax, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:34 (sixteen years ago) link
for those with exceedingly low standards in such matters
― Aimless, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:35 (sixteen years ago) link
Not everybody can hang out on AAD writing poetry like you mister
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:41 (sixteen years ago) link
Nevertheless, they should have a better grasp of their inadequacies, sir. We AskADrunkites know enough not to roll in just any old dungheap. We insist on nothing but the best.
― Aimless, Thursday, 27 September 2007 16:45 (sixteen years ago) link
you don't get poop sounds?
― cutty, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:15 (sixteen years ago) link
If anyone would be discreet about laying cable, I'd-a thunk it'd be cutty.
― libcrypt, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:17 (sixteen years ago) link
Or maybe THIS is the reason he doesn't poop at work: cutty shitting is a multimedia experience.
― libcrypt, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:18 (sixteen years ago) link
i'm saying the people at work have a multitude of poop sounds
― cutty, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:20 (sixteen years ago) link
and i don't want to hear those sounds
my shits have been flawless lately, quiet, firm, not much on the toilet paper--finish with a moist wipe
― cutty, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:21 (sixteen years ago) link
Whoever gets the phone, just say, "They can't talk, they're twisting off a log." This is what my dad would say; honor they father & mother & such.
― Abbott, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link
my roommate does this and what makes it worse that i can hear both the bathroom sounds and the phone call through my wall
― jeff, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:22 (sixteen years ago) link
http://www.areyougoingtoeatthat.com/images/Spock.jpg
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:23 (sixteen years ago) link
(xxxpost)
http://i21.tinypic.com/5p4fv4.jpg
― StanM, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:23 (sixteen years ago) link
I have had a few must-answer cell phone calls come in while I was already sitting on the toilet, I admit that much. I then have to wait till the call is over to do anything telltale like flush, run sink, etc.
Can't imagine calling someone while athrone, no way.
Imagining this happening in the pre-cordless era of landlines is giving me a laugh...
― Jon Lewis, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:24 (sixteen years ago) link
boldface on "entirely liquid" = classic
― Jon Lewis, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:25 (sixteen years ago) link
That could just as easily be "Bristol Penis Chart".
― libcrypt, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:25 (sixteen years ago) link
Amy Sedaris says to say you're having a hard time opening a jar. That would not explain the splashback foley, however.
― Abbott, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:25 (sixteen years ago) link
"Splashback Foley" = criminally slept-on jam rock band
― Jon Lewis, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:26 (sixteen years ago) link
-- cutty, Thursday, September 27, 2007 6:20 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
-- cutty, Thursday, September 27, 2007 6:20 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
OTMFM
― Mark C, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:26 (sixteen years ago) link
How the fuck do you get the phone near the toilet? I mean, do you, while chatting merrily on the phone, think to yourself:"Hmm, need to go do a poopoo." and then proceed to go the toilet? Or do you have your significant other open the toilet and hand over the phone while you're twisting out a poopoo? Either way, you guys are mental if you do.
― stevienixed, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:42 (sixteen years ago) link
cutty shitting is a multimedia experience.
This sentence has completely brightened my day.
― HI DERE, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:42 (sixteen years ago) link
it's more interpretive dancing than multimedia experience
― cutty, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:44 (sixteen years ago) link
I really need to stop reading Cutty's comments on this thread. Icky POOPOO.
― stevienixed, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:45 (sixteen years ago) link
cause you are laughing too hard or i am making you have to poop it out?
― cutty, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:47 (sixteen years ago) link
laugh till you poop
― carne asada, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:49 (sixteen years ago) link
DP OTM
― Dandy Don Weiner, Thursday, 27 September 2007 17:50 (sixteen years ago) link
I hope Cutty never finds out what they do in India.
― Wrinklepaws, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:03 (sixteen years ago) link
tell us what they do in India, Wrinklepaws
― gff, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:10 (sixteen years ago) link
Yes please, Wrinklepaws. There are too many search results for "India" on http://www.poopreport.com/ :-(
― StanM, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:14 (sixteen years ago) link
indefensible
― Alex in NYC, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:15 (sixteen years ago) link
they wipe their ass with guess toilet papers
― cutty, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:15 (sixteen years ago) link
while faxing imprints of their poopoo no doubt
― stevienixed, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:23 (sixteen years ago) link
eating while pooping
― carne asada, Thursday, 27 September 2007 18:24 (sixteen years ago) link
http://www.mustangworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=504336
― Curt1s Stephens, Thursday, 27 September 2007 20:06 (sixteen years ago) link
If you got some poop on your arm, would you merely swab it away with a sheaf of Kleenex
― Heave Ho, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 23:39 (sixteen years ago) link
I used to never poop while on the phone, but now that I work in a building where the bathroom is practically the only place with a decent cellphone signal I do it way too often.
― Alex in Baltimore, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 23:57 (sixteen years ago) link
beach boys - poop sound
― ken c, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 00:52 (sixteen years ago) link
a friend of mine at work once said she was in the ladies room and was scolding her daughter and that every 2-3 seconds or so, there was a loud audible "plop" coming from the stall.
"You know you (plop) weren't supposed to go to (plop) Jenny's house until (plop plop) AFTER dinner!"
seriously, wtf--it couldn't wait until AFTER you bombed hiroshima?
― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 04:35 (fifteen years ago) link
to clarify, my friend wasn't the one plopping...just a random person in the ladies room stall
― Bo Jackson Overdrive, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 04:36 (fifteen years ago) link
thanks for the crucial clarification
― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 04:43 (fifteen years ago) link
ploppage
― libcrypt, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 05:23 (fifteen years ago) link
was trying to work a "ploppelganger" pun into this but couldn't make it work.
― RabiesAngentleman, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 10:09 (fifteen years ago) link